All I wanted was to water her damn flowers, Zoro thought as he stood in their backgarden, wet to the bones and muddy from head to toe.
Tashigi had asked him for one thing before she went on her girlstrip: to water her flowers in the evening if the weather gets too hot.
And the weather got too hot during the day, and Zoro remembered and went to their garden to water the damned flowers. He did not really like all the different kinds and colors and all the other differences Tashigi had told him about but he could not remember for the life of him. But they made Tashigi happy and if Tashigi was happy, Zoro was happy.
So he’d gone to get the hose, the stupid purple hose, she had found in a Dollar General ages ago. Zoro had to be honest with himself, he had never once helped ever since Tashigi first started her little garden project. For two reasons, one: she didn’t want him to and second: he never wanted to.
So… in reality he had no clue how to properly use the hose, but how hard could that be?
After he had dragged the damned hose to the flower bed, he’d positioned the spray nozzle and pressed it down and nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even a drop. And yes okay… that had been his fault, he did not turn on the water. So he’d trotted back, turned it on and back to the nozzle again. He was certainly getting his steps in.
And once again… nothing. Zoro growled.
“The fuck?” he muttered as he had pointed the nozzle to his face, handle still pressed down.
Yes, not his smartest idea, no need to point it out.
Zoro just wanted to check if the nozzle had been blocked by something when it happened. In hindsight he should’ve known but in that moment he didn’t and for someone, who had been in sword training for over half of his life he should’ve expected his reflexes to kick in much faster. But they didn’t and that’s how he ended up being splashed in the face by high water pressure.
He had already been soaked to his underwear until his brain finally gave his hand permission to let go of the handle but the water hadn’t stopped!!!
Coughing, spluttering, and swallowing water, Zoro finally let go of the hose. But because of the high water pressure, it slithered across the ground like a snake, completely soaking his feet, which had remained dry until then. The grass got wet too, but Zoro hadn’t even noticed that at the time. He’d just been thankful to no longer get forcefully hydrated.
Still coughing, he’d wiped the water from his eyes and went to turn off that damned water. Not paying any attention to the still dancing garden hose. Or the grass turned into mud. He slipped, fell face first into the former grass and couldn’t catch his breath for a moment.
At least, thanks to his body weight on the hose, the water had stopped temporarily.
Tashigi be damned… he loved her but he would never ever even set foot into the direction of her fucking flowers.
Wiping mud off his face (useless, his hands were muddy too), he braced himself to get up. He’d needed to be quick. Zoro had made sure the nozzle did not point into his direction, sprung to his feet and bolded to the water faucet. Hastily he’d turned it off and leaned his head against the house. That’s how his friends had found him.
“Yooo… spinach head, what happened to you?”
Zoro turned his head to face Sanji, there was no way he would explain the whole shitshow to the kitchen ballerina.
“Fuck off!”
