Killua Appreciation Post : Beyond Light And Shadow
Is there anyone in the HxH fanbase who seriously dislikes Killua ? Consequently, what could be the purpose of an appreciation post dedicated to one of the most popular characters of the series ?
There may be one, actually : putting into words the principal reasons explaining why so many of us might love Killua.
Be warned, however : there are spoilers all through this post.
According to us, one of these reasons is the fact that Togashi took the opposite view of many, many mangas and animes regarding character development. Killua’s background is frankly dark : his family, his environment, his past deeds, his total absence of any friends from the “outer world” at the beginning of the manga makes him more than suspicious to us in terms of mental stability. At this stage, it wouldn’t be surprising to see him kill someone out of a sudden burst of anger. He is, so to speak, the typical character that we, the audience, expect to see become a major antagonist due to any event he would regard as a betrayal, or any similar trope.
And yet : none of that. Killua does not (at all) turn out to be the (emo) kid so trustful towards his only friend that the least vexation will become a major source of (emo) clash. Killua is just what we least expect him to be : a really carefree child, tying a sincere bond with Gon that is not (overly) impeded by his familial background. Obviously, he remains conscious of it, and of the risks it entails. But instead of going berserk over an “impossible friendship”, Killua rationally tries to confront his family as he rightly judges Gon trustworthy of this adventure – in complete contrast with the state of mind of his father who literally prophesies the (dark) future of his son. And up until now (hoping that will go on…), Killua’s father epic-failed on that point.
In other words : Killua is an utterly anti-fatalist character, and on top of that this characteristic of him appears as very natural. Up until now, there is not a single moment where Killua even thought of betraying Gon. He did not have to solve any internal conflict about that : it just didn’t cross his mind. The only moment when Killua had such a conflict was only to decide if he would be able to stand against a Chimera instead of running away (Bye, Illumi bro and your needles !).
The second reason stems from the preceding one : Killua not only remains faithful to Gon’s friendship, he actually devotes himself to Gon, entirely, body and soul (well, for the body part, it may be still too early… Hum, sorry !) Gon first appears as the pure, honest boy that will never be tempted by evil ideas, but is actually much more ambiguous than the caricature of the “perfect hero” he may have been. The pure friendship feelings he holds for Killua do not prevent him to act very coldly to him when he goes berserk, and most of the time (especially during the Chimera arc), he is blind to the depth of Killua’s devotion to him (which arguably reaches love). In return, Killua, even when bluntly rejected, does not interpret it as a betrayal, and keeps fighting for Gon despite holding a terrible sadness inside him (at least until he learns that “He is the one most precious to Gon”).
This devotion reaches a sacrificial dimension when he dangerously involves Alluka in order to cure Gon. But then again, every action of him seems a natural, rational choice. This sacrificial dimension is never emphasized as is – where countless other works did not hesitate to use this trick to be overflowing with terrible sentimentality towards a specific character on the mode “I don’t mind doing what I do but I would like you to take note of what I’m doing right now because I’m doing it for you and I want to be sure you’ll remember it and regret it for the rest of your life. Are you attached to me enough, now, or do you need a few more sentences ?”. And yet, this does not mean that Killua is insensitive himself. Quite the contrary, actually : his feelings appear all the more true as they are mostly internalized, except when they become so strong, in crisis situations, that they need to be expressed as they are.
Killua, then, appears as the most human character, due to his very developed sensitivity to emotions, his extraordinary sincerity in his total devotion to Gon which is devoid of any ulterior motive, his ability to sympathize with others, and his ability not to be blinded by these feelings – a matter in which both Kurapica and Gon failed. This very unusual blending of rationality and sensitivity devoid of any superficial questionings is, in our view, the principal characteristics associated to Killua. To which you can add his unconditional friendship / love for Gon which is not (at this stage) due to the classical trope of the “rivalry between the two main characters”. Killua is entirely in the state of mind of united cooperation, instead of solitary competition.
Finally, we remember how Killua was hung-up by the contrast he feels between Gon and himself : Gon being the light, Killua being the shadow. Following the traditional meaning of “light” and “shadow”, it may be possible to think that these qualifiers got reversed as the story progressed with Gon becoming much “darker”.
But it is also possible to figure it out differently. It is indeed interesting to note that Killua, while admiring Gon, specifies that his “light” is sometimes “dazzling”. And maybe the inversion concerns the very meaning of the “light” and “shadow” concepts, rather than the characters to which they are associated.
Because Gon is still as frank as he was before. Maybe still more, and maybe too much. But he remains the light : a burning light, so strong that it is losing itself in its very radiance. Whereas Killua keeps acting in the shadows, always supporting Gon without him even noticing it. This is not the threatening and frightening darkness of the assassin anymore, but the gentle and discreet shadow, enshrouding light with warm tenderness, and silently fading into oblivion.
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