touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know
when a character longs so much for physical love and affection the first sign of someone wanting to show it makes them recoil physically, viscerally even though their body is begging them to take anything it could get. like being touched at all will remind them that they are so devoid of it
was just gonna reblog this bomb ass comic again bc it's a mood but the author's addition is hilarious. this is why your english teachers taught you to find meaning in a text
summary. homelander is coming to talk to his father when he stumbles upon the two of you in bed.
contents. MDNI!!!!! f!reader, s5 spoilers, sub reader, pet names, dark content, ben/reader with homelander pov, voyeurism, dacryphilia, overstimulation, cunnilingus, typical homelander behavior & gross soldier boy behavior, weird family dynamics, homelander god talk, also ben is kinda softish and in love, reader isn't a supe — 2.5k words
notes. i started this like two weeks ago, so it's not exactly compliant with the plot anymore but i'm posting anyway. forgive me if i write homelander poorly </33 i am experimenting
It’s rare that Homelander considers his timing poor—even rarer that he believes his choices are anything but divine intervention, a cosmic hand nudging their worldly God in the right direction.
He’s getting off the elevator when he first questions that belief, wonders what message could possibly be received from the intimate act he’s stumbled upon. A sharp inhale is the first sound he hears; faint enough to be considered normal, but with an undertone of passion that he can’t write off.
He’d only been coming to talk to Soldier Boy—his father—about the V1, about everything that happened at Fort Harmony and the tensions that are spreading like a sickness between them, poisoning the path to Homelander’s destiny. His father is creating too much friction when he’s supposed to be helping, suppressing his hatred instead of being honest.
An apology is going to taste like bile on Homelander’s tongue, but he’s willing to extend something of an olive branch if it will placate Soldier Boy enough to help him find the key to immortality.
That had been his plan, anyway—try and smooth things over with Ben. He just hadn’t anticipated stumbling upon the two of you caught in the throes of passion.
Homelander hears your voice through the walls, high-pitched and loud, his father’s name spewed out like a prayer before ending on a sharp moan.
He knows, immediately, that it’s you on the other side of the door—his father’s sweet little pet, the human that worships Soldier Boy like a god, who has no regard for the heavenly power that Homelander has been gifted with.
You are also the only human in the world that’s getting away with such misplaced devotion.
Homelander licks his lips, tensing his jaw as his eyes itch to burn through the drywall, red flares that will your pretty little head off once his father spills his seed into you. It would be gratifying to knock Soldier Boy down a few pegs, to make him realize that Homelander is the god that humans are supposed to worship, not him. Ben does not have the upper-hand just because his poor, powerless lover has been allowed to live this long.
He considers it; that timeline of events plays out before Homelander’s eyes like a film reel. It would be gratifying, yes, but stupid—the life of one human isn’t worth risking his chance at eternity.
Homelander knows that his father would hate him if he killed you, would see him as something worse than a disappointment, and he’d track down any remaining V1 to destroy it himself.
Not that Homelander thinks he can’t succeed without his father. He can find the V1 on his own, but there’s no reason to create unnecessary obstacles.
Your death can wait a little longer.
“Please, Ben,” Homelander hears you say through the wall, your voice soft, far too gentle for someone like Soldier Boy to love. “Fuck.”
“Yeah? You like that, hm?” There’s a pause, a mocking laugh as his father’s voice deepens. “’Course you do, pretty cunt’s still squeezing my fingers so tightly. Can’t even count the number of times you’ve come, and she still wants more. Dirty girl.”
Homelander considers leaving, but the thought is brief, overshadowed by his growing desire to, somehow, get back at his father. Soldier Boy will be more sorry about what happened back at Fort Harmony if the real force of Homelander’s powers are used against him, if he can find a way to prove he’s misjudged his son yet again.
The desire to kill you erupts once more, but Homelander stays still, silent, assessing the scene from a shadowy advantage like a natural predator.
When another cry leaves your lips, curiosity wins out and Homelander peers through the wall, peeling back the layers with his super-powered vision.
The room is a mess, clothes strewn everywhere, and he grimaces at the bodily fluids he can detect on nearly every surface. His scan of the bedroom is quick, much more dismissive than studious, before he focuses his attention on you and Soldier Boy.
Your cheek is pressed into the bed, head tilted in Homelander’s direction, the view enough to see the pleasure, laced with a hint of pain, that is sketched into the lines of your expression. Exhaustion wears at you, spilled cum is drying on your stomach, but your body still radiates with heat, still beats with need as tears gather at your lashes.
His father’s face is deep in your cunt, fingers stretching your folds as he sucks your clit, hard enough to have your back arching up off the bed. With a gasp, your hands fly to Ben’s hair, lacing through the strands as you tug reactively.
To Homelander’s surprise, Ben doesn’t seem to mind your attempts at control, and he makes a sound in the back of his throat, every word raspy and salacious. “You taste so fucking good. Sweet as candy, aren’t you, doll?” Ben mutters against your skin, throwing one of your legs over his shoulder before diving deeper into your cunt.
He pins your other leg onto the mattress, spreading your thighs far enough that every inch of you is exposed to the man before it. It also gives Homelander the perfect view of his father’s tongue deep in your core, slurping up the juices with more passion than he’s ever seen him devote to anything.
Homelander feels himself growing hard, an erection forming steadily in his pants, straining against the tight material of his uniform. He grits his teeth, trying to ignore it, hoping that his hatred for you will cool the conflicting lust he feels.
A few of your nails have cracked, the tips bloody from the way you’d dug them into Ben’s back. Had he been a weaker man, a man without V1 and years of experimentation done on him, there would be long, red lines scratched into his taut muscles.
Instead, the skin is flawless, the dried blood there belonging to you alone. You’re not strong enough to harm him, but Ben doesn’t care, perhaps, even, derives pleasure from how easily he can handle you.
Homelander thinks it’s demeaning that his father is so devoted to you when you’re so weak, when you’re nothing compared to his otherworldly strength. It makes Homelander sick to look at you, to see the hazy affection that clouds Ben’s irises, because that’s his father, and it’s wrong that any love he’s able to muster up should go to such a pathetic creature.
Tears gather at your lashes, and you dig your nails deeper into Ben’s scalp, crying out painfully. “Too much, Ben,” you say, writhing on the bed beneath him, voice wracked with desperation.
No sympathy is spared from Soldier Boy. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t let you free even as the tears fall onto your cheeks, heavy from the overstimulation. Your lips are swollen and parted, saliva coating the corners of them as you take whatever Ben will give you.
For whatever reason, his father is infatuated with you. You aren't special; there’s nothing marginally interesting about you, except for, perhaps, the fact that you aren’t scared of anyone on the Seven, not even Homelander.
You’re still human, though, still sickeningly fragile, and Homelander is beginning to wonder if that’s why Ben is so determined to find the V1, if he has ulterior motives that don’t include giving his son the gift of immortality.
That lights him up with indignation that, for some reason, only goes between his legs. He can’t look away from the scene before him, can’t tear his eyes from the sickeningly sweet affection that has become tangible between the two of you. His father is many things, things that even Homelander can’t figure out, but he is just as starved for adoration and you give it to him tenfold.
He doesn’t understand—can’t understand why your love is so undying. Soldier Boy is no better than Homelander, he is no God, and yet, he has still earned the pure, innocent love of a human, the love that Vought had always promised was Homelander’s birthright.
Frustration rises in him and Homelander palms himself over the suit, suppressing a groan, the pressure relieving only a bit of his lust. He needs to be more careful, needs to find a way to get to the V1 before his father. There’s more room in his heart than Homelander initially believed, and while there’s a slim chance you’d even survive an injection of V1, his father might be foolish enough to try.
Homelander could kill you—he should kill you before it comes to that. He wants his father to see that you’re not worth anything, certainly not worth the world that could be built with their two forces combined. If he can just get you out of the picture, maybe things will be smoother.
Maybe you’re the reason his father keeps turning against him.
The thought flares his eyes red again, threatening and bright, but the color flickers, dies back down into their normal blue as he feels the repulsive want take control. Homelander is too intrigued by the way his father is fucking you, the way his tongue flicks into you, rendering you a mess. He’s never seen Soldier Boy so vulnerable, and though his walls are still high, there’s a softness about him that remains behind these doors.
“Come on, sweetheart, I know you’ve got one more in you.” Ben says, scoffing at the tears running down your cheeks. He is mocking, but gentle at the edges, careful to search for your breaking point. The stamina and strength of a supe is ten times that of a human, and ten times that for someone like Soldier Boy. If he doesn’t want his toy to break, he has to know its limits.
You whimper, closer to pain now than you were before. A choked sob escapes your lips, but your orgasm creeps up on you, your body shaking miserably as it tries to force another one through the painful stimulation.
That’s more gratifying to Homelander than anything—the pain on your face—and he presses his palm to his bulge harder, faster, resting one hand against the wall as he thrusts his hips into the other. He’s careful not to make a sound, though he’s certain Ben’s hearing is not as good as his, and he’s probably high enough to write it off as delusion.
“I-I can’t—” you say, and it would seem miserable if you weren’t breathless, if you didn’t want to come again so badly.
Soldier Boy groans into your cunt, his eyes commanding as he gazes up at you over your hips. The tears falling down your cheeks, onto the bed, are making him harder, his cock swollen between his legs, even though he’d come just minutes before. He drags a hand down the length of it, enough to give him some relief, but not enough to come quite yet.
“You can. You’re close I can feel it.” He traces a soothing, possessive circle on your thigh with his thumb, keeping you steady on the bed. “Touch those pretty tits for me. My girls aren’t getting enough attention.”
You obey without question, lazily dragging your hands up your stomach and onto your chest. The moment your fingertips graze your nipples, you come to the edge of a climax, your voice louder, body more pliant under Ben’s touch.
His father grins, face shiny with your slick as you grope yourself.
Homelander pulses with need, shaking with a silent moan as he watches you play with your breasts. He swallows back the sounds, suppresses the lasers that flick in his irises. You have a nice pair of tits, ones that would look even better swollen, leaking with milk, and briefly, he wonders if his father would share you. You’re just a human, after all, and you could serve a much greater purpose if you devoted yourself to two gods instead of one.
Or, maybe, his father will find a way to fix the mistake he’s made in his lab rat son, to create the child that Homelander apparently isn’t. A better version of him will never exist, and Soldier Boy would be stupid for ever thinking so, even though Homelander knows the thought has crossed his mind, knows that he is too much of a disappointment for Ben to ever try to build the kind of relationship with Homelander that he craves.
The hypotheticals don’t matter because Homelander knows you wouldn’t be a good mother, not to someone of their bloodline. You’d infect any super-abled child with your pathetic human morals, twist their minds until they suppress their powers and try to fit into a world that doesn’t want them.
That is, of course, if the child didn’t tear you apart from the inside-out first.
Homelander grits his teeth, a metallic taste flowing into his mouth as he thinks of it, of watching you grow a baby inside of you that will ultimately be your demise. His breath stutters; he’s pathetically close, but his orgasm doesn’t come until a moment later, when he realizes that his father isn’t half the man he thinks he is, and he’ll never be the God that Homelander is.
Soldier Boy a slave to your pleasure—a weak, measly being—even when he pretends everything he does is for himself. You’re crying, and though Soldier Boy is tugging at himself, he’s not focused on making sure he comes—he wants to break you down, build you back up with his mouth and his hands. Ben wants you to worship him, wants you to see him as a holy figure, wants you to praise him even as he degrades you.
He is controlled by his emotions, too swayed by a pretty face and a sultry tongue.
Unlike his father, Homelander is no longer focused on winning over people’s love, and certainly not the love of one person.
You release one more sob before you come, soaking his father’s face with whatever your body has left to give. His father works you through the orgasm, even though you can hardly move, your eyes shut, chest heaving as you try to catch your breath.
“That’s my girl,” Soldier Boy says, and he’s so proud, so caring, that it has Homelander spilling into his pants right after you. It lasts for a few seconds, and then relief comes, then the disgusting sensation that settles as the cum dries in his suit.
The realization of what he’s done is not staggering, but it hits him just as his father presses a kiss to your forehead. You’re half passed-out already, eyes closed as your breathing evens out, thighs still sticky with bodily fluids, but you mutter something unintelligible under your breath anyway.
Even with his hearing, Homelander can’t catch the words, but Ben doesn’t seem to understand either. Still, his father gives you something of a smile before leaning over to pluck the joint off of his nightstand, keeping one hand possessively on your thigh. He’s still hard, but for a few minutes he sits there in the quiet of the evening, smoking, before he places the blunt back in the ash tray and moves to take care of the erection himself.
Homelander decides that’s his cue to leave. He can justify watching his father fuck you, but watching only him masturbate over your sleeping body feels like a line he shouldn’t cross.
Sparing one last exhale, Homelander slinks off the floor, hoping that neither of you hear the elevator ding.
thanks for read, a kiss for all of you. reblog & comments are always appreciated <33 divider by cursed-carmine
Author's Note: wowowow - here's the first installment of my leon kennedy series. hope y'all enjoy a little re2 leon!
Summary: A cop and a doctor meeting during a zombie apocalypse... is probably a better setup for a joke than you care to admit.
Word Count: 27.1k
Content: 18+, smut, re2!leon, doctor!reader, angst, gore, mentions of past child abuse, allusions to suicide, medical inaccuracies, rookie leon is too good for this world, reader has a savior complex, jill & carlos are also here, yearning yearning and more yearning, they're very cute and i love them, leon is whimpering (OBVIOUSLY), unprotected p in v sex, cum eating, oral (f!receiving), lowkey breeding kink you already know, no use of y/n
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Tag List: @aspinny @rjreins (let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series!)
You just want to help.
It's one of the earliest sentiments you remember settling firmly into the confines of your heart.
You're five years old, clumsily putting a Band-Aid on your little brother's scraped knee, cooing comfortingly at him as fat tears roll down his cheeks, sobs hiccuping out of him. When he finally calms down, you kiss his knee and loudly declare it all better—he giggles, which only encourages you to tickle his sides, peals of laughter echoing in the air, pain long forgotten.
You're nine years old, sitting in the nurse's office at school because your dad forgot to sign your field trip form, and they have nowhere else to put you. The school nurse is kind, and as you help her restock her cabinets and drawers with various medical supplies, she patiently answers all of your questions about them. She even lets you take her temperature, teaching you how the thermometer works, and lets you listen to her heartbeat with her stethoscope.
You're fourteen years old, and it's so late that even the crickets in the grass have fallen silent for the night, but you're sitting on the sidewalk beside your friend, arms wrapped around her as she cries. She's inconsolable, and you don't know how to help her except to keep her close against you while you whisper 'it's okay' over and over—it's not enough, and this is the last time you'll hear her voice, and the smell of cucumber melon body spray still makes you think of her.
You're seventeen years old, meticulously organizing your father's medicine while he sits in the old, worn-out recliner that stinks of tobacco. You carefully step around the oxygen tank on the floor beside him and hand him the small container of pills. He takes it with a wheezing cough, snubbing out the cigarette pinched between his fingers, which is smoked down to the filter into the already full ashtray. After sending your brother off to school, you begin the long trek to campus, a day of labs and clinicals ahead of you.
You're twenty-two years old, and you've just lost your first patient. The flatline of the heart rate monitor rings through your jaw—sweat pools at your brow, your arms ache from how long you'd been giving compressions, all while praying to a god you once believed in for just this one mercy. The little girl's parents are hysterical, begging you to keep trying, but your attending simply shakes his head, grief heavy on his face as he announces the time of death. You hold yourself together just long enough to stumble into the bathroom, soft gasps escaping as you struggle to breathe, your vision blurred by tears in your eyes. Ten minutes—that's how long you permit yourself to stay curled up on the bathroom stall floor, your body convulsing as you sob.
It's longer than you've ever allowed yourself to mourn your father.
You're twenty-three years old, and you're sure you're the last person alive in Spencer Memorial Hospital. You've been barricaded in the Emergency Department's breakroom for three days, and the muffled shuffling of the undead through the halls outside is not something you've gotten used to—the hairs on your body stand on end every time you hear them. Whatever is scurrying around in the vents hasn't managed to get past the vending machine you've placed in front of it, not that they haven't tried—and you think they're getting... bigger.
The thought that you're going to die here crosses your mind more and more often. You remember Dr. McKay, with her kind eyes still so vivid even as she wrung her hands in worry. "Why don't you leave, hun?" she suggested when evacuation efforts first began three days ago. She saw the warning signs before most people realized that whatever this was, there was no coming back from it.
You should have listened to her gentle urging, but you wanted to help, so you stayed—even as the ER was overwhelmed, even as patients died and came back to life, even as everyone around you was attacked or turned. You stayed because this is where you could help; now there’s no one left to save, only you and that stupid CPR mannequin propped at the table, which you and a few other residents dressed up for Halloween, the cartoony zombie mask placed haphazardly over its face mocking you.
Your watch beeps, reminding you to eat. Time passes in strange bursts here—when the air is quiet, and there's no terrible moaning from the halls, you can almost pretend that the world outside these four walls isn't so awful. But when the vents start rattling, and you hear the wheezing breath outside the door, time seems to crawl.
Clicking the button on the side of your watch, you blink back tears as you bite into a tasteless granola bar. Your brother gave you this watch when you graduated—he saved up money from that crappy bag boy job he worked during school breaks for two whole years.
"I'm really proud of you," he told you as he handed you the box in Christmas wrapping paper while you were both curled up on opposite sides of your shitty couch in your shitty apartment. Meanwhile, your other classmates, much older than you, were out at swanky celebratory dinners with their families. You and your brother, however, returned home to enjoy a feast of mediocre pizza and wings. "Fancy title needs a fancy watch."
Your lip quivers, and you breathe out a huff through your nose, mad at the sting in your sinuses and the way your throat constricts. It's not fair, you think. You just wanted to help people, and now you won't even get to say goodbye to your brother. The thought turns bitter as you grit your teeth, fists clenched in the pant legs of your scrubs, knuckles turning white. Your stupid, fucking father got two extra years he shouldn't have had, spent smoking and drinking—he got to say goodbye, going out far more peacefully than he ever deserved with you and your brother at his side, but you?
You're going to die here—alone.
Leaning your head back, it hits the wall you're sitting against with a faint thud, and you stare up at the speckled drop ceiling with tears welling up at your waterline. Resolutely, your eyes close, inhaling slowly, ignoring the way your chest caves in with acceptance.
"You just gonna lay there and take it, girl?" Your father's hoarse, scathing voice repeats in your ears, a memory stained by bruises and tasting of blood, and your eyes snap open, a gasp leaving your lips as a defiant fire sparks in your veins.
"Shut up," you spit out at his ghost.
You're on your feet in the next instant, a plan forming as you tear through the cabinets; you find an old backpack, probably from a previous resident, buried in the back of one. It's quickly filled with everything useful you can find—snacks from the vending machine you'd broken open when you first got trapped here, all the items in the first aid kit hanging on the wall, and any other medical supplies you can scrounge up. There's not much here you can use for defense, but you take what you can—some dull knives, a pair of hefty metal scissors, all better than nothing.
It takes longer than you want to admit to gather your nerve, ear pressed to the door, waiting for the telltale shuffling to disappear down the hall before you slowly and as quietly as possible move the filing cabinet that you pushed in front of it after being separated from your coworkers and narrowly escaping the snapping jaws of the undead. Every scrape of the metal against the linoleum floor makes you wince, listening carefully to see if anyone—or anything—heard you.
When it's finally out of the way, you swallow hard and take a deep breath before opening the door and peeking out. It's empty and dark—the chaos of the past few days is evident in the mess left behind. Gurneys are overturned and propped against partitions, blocking certain hallways where the undead are plentiful. Broken viewing windows into rooms have left glass splintered across the floor, which is covered in bloodied footprints and drag marks. The sterile hospital smell mixes with the stench of death—it's enough to make your stomach turn, but you've smelled far worse.
You're mindful of where you step, avoiding the broken glass and doing your best not to step into any blood puddles—more for your own sanity than anything else—while gripping a knife tightly, ready to defend yourself if needed. Body bags are lined up all around—the morgue stopped bringing them down shortly after the hospital became overwhelmed—and some are oddly shaped, as if the occupant had undergone some kind of transformation. They aren't moving, but you give them a wide berth anyway, not trusting that the dead are truly gone.
The path you need to follow is imprinted in your mind—you've strolled through these halls nearly every day for the past two years, and you hope that's enough to get you out. You stay low, ducking beneath windows where you hear the groans of zombies from inside rooms you pass, with your heart pounding in your chest the entire time. It's an arduous crawl, hiding behind caddies to avoid the shambling undead, while trying to calm your breathing and steady the tremor in your hands. You grab what you can along the way—a roll of gauze, a scalpel, some antiseptic.
You stop instantly when you hear a clatter in the hall ahead, heavy footsteps approaching. It's different from the shuffling of the normal infected—it's purposeful, and it's large. You slide your ID card through the reader to access the room next to you and step inside before you can second-guess yourself. The soft click of the door latch makes you flinch, but you keep moving, turning around, and slipping through what you realize is the filing room until you round one of the stacks and spot a figure standing there.
You recognize her—she's one of the clerks, Paulette. Her breath is coming out in painful wheezes, the veins in her arms are blackened, and necrosis is eating away at her skin. She's not facing you, just standing idly at one of the cabinets as if she'd been in the middle of filing away paperwork when she turned. Your face scrunches up with anguish, twisting the knife by its handle a few times in your palm. You can hear the footsteps in the hall, closer now.
You couldn't risk her alerting the creature to your presence.
Quietly—and assuredly—you step behind her and drive the dull knife straight into her skull. She emits a strangled, raspy sound—something animalistic and sad—and you catch her body before she can collapse, lowering her silently to the ground, but you keep your knee on her back, still gripping the handle of the knife, waiting to find out if you've delivered a lethal strike, aware of how resistant the infection makes them.
You hold your breath for one, two, three beats—and on the fourth, you exhale shakily. Sitting back onto the floor, you rest against the end of a filing cabinet—ears keenly listening for the monster while staring at Paulette's pale, sunken cheeks—her milky-colored eyes are blank and unmoving, but you still feel like they're staring straight at you.
The footsteps pass by the room, and you steal a quick glance from your hiding spot—you're not quite sure what you're seeing through the window. Maybe some kind of amphibious creature standing on its hind legs, with dark green, mottled skin that glistens in the faint emergency lighting. It has humanoid hands with long, curved claws that could easily skewer you. Sharp teeth line its maw, and it doesn't seem to have eyes—at least none you can discern—but it appears unaware of you, simply moving on before vanishing from sight.
If that is one of the things that were in the vents, they've definitely gotten bigger, you think anxiously.
Relaxing just a bit, your gaze drifts back to Paulette, instinctively focusing on her left hand where a simple, pretty engagement ring rests—she was supposed to get married next month. She was so excited for an autumn wedding—told you how she had it all planned out since she was a girl, hoping the leaves would change color in time because it would be so beautiful in the photos.
Your face crumbles, chin wobbling as tears blur your vision. "Fuck," you whimper, jamming your palms into your eyes as your teeth clench together.
You don't allow yourself to linger, so you count to twenty in your head before moving, abandoning your knife because you can't bring yourself to pry it from Paulette's skull. Instead, you arm yourself with surgical scissors you snapped up from a medical cart. The muscles in your legs burn from staying so low as you creep through the halls, a thin sheen of sweat forming on your skin that you only notice when it stings the corners of your eyes.
By the time you reach reception, there's a brief flicker of hope that you'll be able to do this. It's a straight shot from here to the lobby. You want to just run; you could be at the entrance in less than thirty seconds if you did, but you don't.
Impatience gets you killed, you remind yourself. You can't afford to be stupid.
Bodies are strewn across the floor, the fluorescent hum of a vending machine filters through the air, bathing the dark room in a ghostly blue glow. You move cautiously, stepping around the corpses, eyes alert for even the faintest twitch of a finger, but it's a groan from behind the desk that draws your attention. You hurriedly duck down, wedging against the cold surface of the front of the reception desk, listening as the zombie shuffles around, eyes scrunching closed in a grimace when you hear it knocking things over.
Still, you keep moving as quietly as you can, heart climbing higher and higher into your throat with every gurgled noise. So worried about not alerting the one behind the desk, you don't even see the body you're skirting by begin to writhe.
A gasp lodges in the back of your throat as a hand clenches around your ankle, yanking you to the floor. Instinctively, you kick with your free foot, smashing the zombie's nose—it's one of the security guards, Daniel was his name. He always said good morning to you, even when you were coming in for the night shift, as he was leaving for the day.
"Shit, shit," you heave, chest tightening, as you try to wrench yourself from his grip while avoiding the snapping jaws. "Let go!" With one final kick, you manage to dislodge yourself from its iron grip, scrambling away as you hear clanging from behind the desk.
You're unsteady on your feet as you see the other undead shamble toward you. Jamming a nearby wheelchair into the opening between the wall and the desk, you buy yourself only a little time as it begins to climb over the counter, while the one who grabbed you struggles to stand.
"Fuck," you breathe out as you turn on your heel and run, your sneakers squeaking against the linoleum floors as you push through the door to the corridor that leads to the lobby with a bang. You can hear the zombies chasing after you, and above, you hear something big moving, as if tracking you through the ceiling.
Once you breach the double doors at the other end of the hall, you slide across the ground, scurrying under the desk, pressing yourself against the cool metal of the filing cabinet beneath it as something crashes through the ceiling. You can hear the spark of the overhead lights as the bulbs crack, shattering across the floor. The ceiling tiles crumble as they hit the ground, and the ventilation falls with them.
Hefty footsteps stomp across the floor.
Thud.
Thud.
Thud.
It stands right in front of the desk you're curled up under. You clutch a trembling hand to your mouth, afraid your panicked breath will betray you, while your other hand grips the scissors tightly, worried they'll slip from the sweat gathering in your palms.
You feel faint and lightheaded, your heart pounding against your ears, as every muscle in your body tenses tightly. Fear strips you down to the basics—survival. As the other undead burst through the door you just stumbled through, you retreat further, a chill crawling up your spine. The larger beast chitters a monstrous noise, teeth clicking together, claws scraping against the top of the desk just above your head.
Dread weighs down on you, quietly urging the creature to go away, to just leave. You can hear the other undead circle around the lobby, wandering aimlessly now that their target is no longer in view, as if they'd forgotten about you—but this one seems more intelligent than that.
Then, as if some higher power finally decides to show mercy, you listen as the thud, thud, thud of footsteps walk to the double doors leading back to reception, which swing open with a bang that makes you flinch. Then, you hear them fading down the hall, deeper into the horrors of the hospital.
You don't move immediately—your body unravels slowly. The hand covering your mouth lowers, and you realize you probably have little crescent-shaped indentations in your cheek from how hard your fingernails dug into your skin. Your shoulders relax, no longer tense all the way up to your ears. Then, carefully, you crawl out from under the desk, peeking over the edge to figure out where the other two undead went.
One seems to have found interest in the vending machine near the opposite end of the desk, staring blankly into the light as if the phosphorescence is whispering secrets to him. The other is aimlessly shuffling along among the turned-over chairs.
Your gaze flicks to the exit—the way is clear, you realize. You see the outside. It's right there, just twenty feet away.
Still, apprehension grows inside you. This is just the start. You have no idea what the rest of the city is like—the last you heard, the bridge out was closed to maintain a quarantine zone. You'd have to find another way. It almost feels like you're at a disadvantage. Spencer Memorial has been your only world for the past five days, with no thought given to what was happening elsewhere. You couldn't afford to think about it; you needed to focus on what was right in front of you, what you could control, which was trying to save anyone who came into the Emergency Room—though, in the end, it doesn't seem to matter.
The fear of the unknown taunts you just beyond those double doors, but you've made it this far—you just need to go a little farther now.
You tread steadily, and then you're free—the cool early autumn air soothes your sweat-soaked skin like a healing balm. With the hospital at your back, you look ahead. The sun starts to rise, peeking up at the horizon through the buildings. The smell of smoke fills your nose, but the streets are quiet, as if the city tucked in for the night; no doubt it will start to wake soon.
Checking your watch, you see the date: September 29th.
You've made it through another day.
Heaving your backpack onto your shoulder, you step forward into Raccoon City.
It's chaos—as you creep through the streets, you think you might have been lucky to be stuck in the hospital during the initial outbreak. Entire blocks of the city have been cordoned off; cars flipped over and abandoned, windows in storefronts broken out, blood and viscera splattered all around. You pass so many bodies in the streets, you're sure there can't be more than a handful of people left, if any. Undead lumber around in constant hoards that are easy enough to avoid, but that doesn't stop the trepidation from settling into your stomach whenever you're sneaking past them.
You navigate around blockades, darting through alleyways while praying you won't hit a dead end. You know the route to the Raccoon City Police Department—it's the first place that comes to mind. If luck is on your side, there might be a few police officers still alive, handling evacuation efforts. If not… well, hopefully there are at least some weapons inside.
It's another slow crawl. It takes you three hours just to reach the plaza, and you're struck by how bizarre the scene before you is—like some kind of firefight took place. The few cars scattered around are still smoldering, and scorch marks are everywhere, as if someone used heavy artillery.
You're trying to avoid it, nervous about the open space, when you clock a figure lying at the end of one of the alleys. You almost keep walking, thinking it's just another body, but for some reason, your eyes stay on it a little longer than necessary, and that's when you see the steady rise and fall of the chest.
They're alive.
There's no second-guessing as you run toward them, your feet pounding against the ground, knees buckling as you instinctively place a finger on the throat, searching for a pulse. That's when you realize you know this person.
"Jill," you gasp. Her pulse is weak at best, but it's better than nothing. You grab your penlight from the front pocket of your scrubs, pulling an eyelid open to check her pupils. That's when you notice the wound on her arm and the way her veins are starting to blacken around it. "Fuck."
You should leave her here—the way the infection progresses is so clear in your mind. You've watched patient after patient go through it over the past few days. She has at most half a day before she starts chomping at the bit, trying to bite chunks out of any still-breathing sad sack nearby.
It would be stupid to allow that to be you.
But this is Jill.
You met her as an intern. She and another S.T.A.R.S. team member, Chris Redfield, were brought into the Emergency Department after sustaining injuries during a mission—gunshots to the lower extremities. Nothing life-threatening, and as a result, you were assigned to treat her injuries. You were so nervous that even with a resident watching, you stuttered out questions and walked her through each step you were taking—as if it was for her comfort, not just yours.
She was so kind, even as your eyes narrowed with wariness when she asked how old you were. "That's impressive," she said with a smile when you told her, and there was no hint of ridicule.
A month later, she got carted in with a stab wound. You think that's when the two of you became friends. You're not naive enough to think you were terribly close, but you'd get drinks every so often when your abysmal schedules lined up. Sometimes she'd stop in to the E.R. when she knew you were on shift, and you'd visit her at the R.P.D. a few times to get lunch together.
She'd been the only friend you'd managed to make in Raccoon City.
You grasp the sides of her face, slapping her cheek lightly. "Jill," you whisper. "Jill, you need to wake up."
Her brows furrow, eyes only opening a fraction, but they slide up to you, and she breathes out your name like it's a question.
"Yeah, it's me," you confirm gently with a tight smile. "We gotta get you up." You don't give her an option, hauling her into a sitting position, ignoring the way she groans as you sling her arm around your neck, lifting her up off the ground. "Can you walk?" you ask, already knowing the answer.
She manages a shake of her head, and you take a deep breath before maneuvering her onto your back after switching around your backpack. Adrenaline still seems to be coursing through your veins because you hoist her dead weight up relatively easily, despite how tired you know your legs—and the rest of your body—are.
As you adjust your grip, you start moving.
You don't know where you can go. You don't know what you can do.
You just know you can't leave her here.
"I got you," you murmur, taking one step after another. You hear her breath slow as she no doubt falls unconscious again.
You could take her back to the hospital, maybe there's still a dose of the vaccine topside—you swallow thickly. The immunology team was working on the vaccine as soon as it became obvious you were dealing with some sort of infection, and they were going to vaccinate the staff once it was ready, but—
You sigh heavily.
It would be a long shot just to get her back to the hospital, never mind finding a sample of the vaccine, if there was even one left.
"Hey!" a voice calls out.
It startles you, and you swing around, putting yourself between whoever it is and Jill. It's a man in tactical gear, gun pointed toward you. Your eyes widen, and you hold Jill tighter to you. You push down the panic bubbling up in your throat—it's not the first time you've stared down the barrel of a gun.
You study him intently; he's tall with dark hair falling into dark eyes, and the signature Umbrella logo on his arm. It doesn't bring you any comfort; if anything, it only makes you more nervous.
Still, he looks at Jill as if he knows her, but you're hesitant to feel any sort of ease. You've heard some rumors about the R.P.D., with most of the S.T.A.R.S. team, including Jill, being suspended, but you haven't seen her in the past few weeks to ask her about it. What would she be doing tangling up with Umbrella mercenaries?
"Where are you going with her?" he asks, and he pauses, eyes narrowing as he takes in your appearance for the first time—your bloodstained scrubs and the fierce tint in your tired eyes. "Are you a nurse?"
"Doctor," you correct in a clipped tone. "She's infected, I'm—" You pause.
What were you doing?
"She doesn't have long."
His expression twists up with distress as he lowers his gun. "The hospital," he says. "We can take her there. They have a vaccine, you must kno—."
You glower. "How do you know that?"
"I spoke to one of the doctors there—Dr. Bard," he replies.
Blinking, your scowl only deepens. Dr. Bard is one of the immunologists and the hospital's director—one of the most odious men you've ever had the misfortune of meeting. He'd disappeared before you got separated from the rest of your coworkers—you thought he was dead. You thought everyone else was dead, but—
"You know her, don't you?" he asks suddenly, as if the protective way you've positioned her and the sad slant to your eyes suggest she's more than just a random stranger to you.
"Yes," you answer, not seeing a reason to lie.
"If I bring Jill there, I could find the vaccine—I could save her," he insists.
You're a good judge of character—or at least you think you are. You study his face and the sincerity in his eyes—the determined set of his jaw. For a moment, your edge softens. He's definitely more than capable of handling the monsters crawling around the hospital, judging by the gun in his hands and the rest of his arsenal.
"It's overrun," you say, but it's not to deter him. "There are these… creatures, not just the normal infected."
"Creatures?"
You nod gravely. "Big… they were using the vents to get around until they… outgrew them. If you're going there, you need to know what you're up against."
His brows furrow at the implication of your words. "You're not coming with us?" he asks.
"No," you say, with apprehension lingering at just the thought of returning to the hospital. "I… I can't go back there."
He must see something in your expression—the fear, the exhaustion—because he seems like he understands even if he wants to argue. A thoughtful look causes his brows to raise as he studies you—it's full of concern for you, a person he doesn't even know, and it only endears him to you. "Will you be okay on your own?"
A tight smile forms on your face—it's supposed to be reassuring, but even you detect how your lip wobbles. "Been okay so far," you say, voice soft and almost breaking. "If you're going, you should go now."
His head bobs as if remembering the dire situation you're in. "Here, let me take her," he says as he approaches, kneeling so you can transfer Jill onto his back.
"Dr. Bard's office is on the first floor. If there's a sample of the vaccine still in the hospital, it's there," you tell him. "It's got one of those weird voice recognition locks on it; you're going to need to find a way in."
His brows pinch together as he takes in the information, not confused, just processing. "Where are you going to go?" he questions after a moment.
"Hopefully to find a way the hell out of this place," you joke weakly. You glance at Jill, and she almost appears as if she could just be asleep right now—like she could wake up any second. Your heart curls up into something worse than grief. "You… you take care of her, okay?"
"Yeah," he murmurs with a tender nod.
With no care for his personal space, you lean up to smooth some of her hair back from her face that rests against his shoulder. You're keenly aware of his gaze on you, watching as you press a kiss to her cheek, breathing in the smell of sweat and blood and gunpowder.
"I'll see you when this is done, okay, Jill?" With a lump firmly in your throat, you pull away, peeking up at the man with tears building in your eyes, and he only watches you sadly as you nod to him before turning on your heel.
"Wait," he says suddenly, stopping you in your tracks. With one hand, he unholsters a 9mm pistol, holding it out to you by the barrel like it's a lifeline. "You know how to work one of these?"
You do, so you take it, checking the safety as if it's a practiced habit. "I'm familiar," you assure before tucking it into the waistband of your pants. He gives you a look as if to say, 'Familiar, huh?'
He hands you some ammo, apologizing for not having more to give you. "Gotta give you a fighting chance," he says it like it's a joke, but you're both aware it's not.
The words trigger a memory—kind eyes and a sting in your arm. "Now you have a fighting chance," she said
Absentmindedly, you rub your arm before remembering something. "Oh," you pat the front of your scrub pants, then dig into the right pocket and pull out your hospital ID card. "Here." You hold it out to him, and he seems confused. "My ID card. It will get you into most of the doors in the hospital."
He breathes out in relief, pocketing the card with a grateful smile. "Thanks, doc." There's a brief pause. "I'm Carlos."
You swallow the lump in your throat. "Take care, Carlos," you say and begin to head off.
Worry bunches up inside of you, but it's an emotion you're familiar with, so you carefully fold it up and tuck it aside, knowing you've given Jill the best shot at survival. You feel more confident, though, moving through the city now with a proper weapon.
The sun begins to set as you arrive at the Raccoon City Police Department. Things don't look promising, you think, as you weave through the burning vehicles and zombies milling outside the fence of the station. You reach the heavy metal gate; it's been left unlocked, and you can easily push it open. You briefly consider locking it behind you, but decide against it, just in case some other wayward soul makes their way here and needs a way in.
When you step into the lobby, you're almost overcome with the urge to call out, but quickly refrain, instead searching around attentively for anything useful—snatching a flashlight on the front desk, a much better option than your dingy little penlight. The security shutters to the right have a big sign that says 'keep out,' and you're inclined to follow instructions.
You try to recall the times you've been here to visit Jill—you know the S.T.A.R.S. office is on the second floor, but you'd feel a whole lot better if you had more ammo—or maybe a shotgun, you think with morbidly amused snort.
"I just need to go drop something off in the Safety Deposit Room, and then we can go, okay?" she said, a package tucked under her arm as she made her way through the reception on the left, leaving you alone with the officer on front desk duty—Officer Scott, who leered at you over his newspaper with a quirked brow and an attempt at a flirtatious smirk on his lips.
A grated door now covers the reception area; the control box is covered in tape, and you're hesitant to make too much noise, afraid of drawing unwanted attention. Your eyes scan the main hall, and that's when you notice the far door slightly ajar, as if someone left it open in a hurry.
"That's as good an invitation as any," you mutter to yourself as you slip through the door, shutting it behind you. It's an office, you realize as you scan the room, flicking on the flashlight you found. Desks are gathered in the middle, chairs are overturned, and it's a mess—not much different from the hospital. The state of it doesn't give much confidence that you'll find much help here.
Peering up, you observe decorations hanging from the ceiling above the desks.
Welcome Leon.
"And the award for shittiest first day goes to," you whisper sardonically.
There are several bodies lying about, and you step as quietly as you can, entering into a familiar snail's pace as you make your way out of the office, though not before grabbing a box of ammo sitting haphazardly on one of the bookshelves near the door.
You can hear the shuffling of undead as you step into the hall, teeth clenched as your body tautens, but you keep moving, ears alert for anything else—god knows what kind of monsters are probably lurking after what you've seen in the hospital.
Across the way, you catch sight of the sign labeled 'Safety Deposit Room', and there is a suspicious wave that flows through you at your luck, though you don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. The room is thankfully empty, and you move through the lockers, peeking in to see if there's anything of use for you here.
Near the end of the first row, you note something that catches your eye—flash grenades. Your eyebrows raise as you memorize the locker number before punching it into the console, observing that two of the keys are missing. Luckily, this doesn't stop you from taking what you need, including those flash grenades and some extra ammo.
Then, as if your eyes are being guided to a shining beacon of hope, you spot a shotgun sitting behind the bars of a weapons locker at the back of the room. You glare with displeasure at the keycard reader before gazing back at it longingly, hand caressing the bars. "I'll be back for you," you promise.
Suddenly, a burst of gunfire reverberates through the station, and you instinctively crouch, your heart pounding in your chest. You quickly zip your bag shut before creeping toward the door to listen. The hall is silent now, and you slowly open the door, planning to rush back across the hall to the office so you won't get trapped in a maze of unfamiliar corridors.
As your hand touches the doorknob, you hear the sound of boots coming toward you and a faint 'what the hell', followed by the groaning of the undead and more gunshots. You use the noise as cover to skirt back into the office, ducking behind the door.
The pistol Carlos gave you feels cold in your clammy hands—the weight of it is one you're well acquainted with, pulling the slide to check if a round is chambered before flipping the safety. You turn off your flashlight, blinking as your eyes adjust to the darkness, the footsteps growing closer.
The creak of the handle turning traps your breath in your lungs, not daring to even exhale as the door opens. When the person steps through, you kick the door closed with your foot, causing them to whip around as you level your gun at them.
Leon instantly recognizes the barrel of a gun pointed at him in the brief moment when he turns with his flashlight, dropping it and his gun as his hands raise toward the ceiling. "Don't shoot," he says. "I'm not one of those things!"
Another light switches on, causing him to squint as it darts across his face, like you're testing the honesty of his statement—searching for any signs of blackened veins or necrosis. He can faintly make out the silhouette of your figure behind the blinding glare. When you finally lower the flashlight and your gun, he blinks rapidly, his vision dotted with spots as they readjust, but he interprets it as a sign to slowly bring his hands down.
"Sorry," you apologize, watching raptly as he grabs his flashlight and gun off the floor. "I heard you shooting and I—"
"It's okay," he interrupts. There's a moment where you both take each other in, and Leon can see the unsure frown on your lips, like you're embarrassed by your reaction—as if it were possible to overreact in this type of situation. You couldn't be much older than him, he realizes—youth still clings to your cheeks, not yet hollowed with maturity, a softness of lingering adolescence. "Better safe than sorry," he assures with a smile.
The corners of your mouth twitch up into a tentative smile of your own, and Leon feels a surge of warmth at how your nose scrunches. His gaze drops to your attire—burgundy scrubs that have known better days, with a long-sleeved shirt underneath, though the sleeves are pushed up to your elbows, and white sneakers sit comfortably on your feet, splattered with blood and other gore. You shift under his stare, tugging your worn-out backpack higher on your shoulder as you chew the inside of your lip.
"Are you a nurse?" he asks.
The smile drops immediately, and Leon knows he's said exactly the wrong thing. "Doctor," you correct sharply, your tone lowering in a way he recognizes—like you want to be respected.
He scrambles, stuttering under the weight of the disappointed way your shoulders slump as he tries to explain himself. "It's just—you look young."
It has the opposite effect he intends, and you lean back away from him, a furrow in your brow that makes you seem more adorable than severe, but he pushes that thought down just as quickly as it pops up. "So do you," you shoot back as your eyes dip down to observe his police uniform. "How long you been a cop?"
He scratches the back of his head sheepishly as if hesitant to answer. "Well, it's my first day."
Recognition flashes in your eyes. "I'd say you have some really shitty luck, Leon," you joke.
He lets out a huff of weak laughter. "Yeah," he agrees. "Definitely not the greatest start."
"At least it can only go up from here," you offer with a shrug of your shoulders.
"Wait," he says when the realization dawns on him. "How did you know my name?"
You lift your light to the decorations hanging from the ceiling, and Leon gazes at the sign with something close to loss etched into his face. When he peeks back at you, he notes how the pinch in your brow has softened as you watch him—it's an empathetic look, as if you understand exactly what he's feeling. "It's kind of cute," you say gently. "They must've been excited for you to start."
He swallows thickly, but his voice still cracks anyway. "Yeah," he murmurs. "You said you're a doctor—my lieutenant is back in the main hall, he needs medical attention. Could you help him?"
You observe Lieutenant Marvin Branagh with a painstakingly neutral expression—it's one you've mastered the last two years of your residency. It never did a patient any good when they saw that something was wrong on their doctor's face.
"How bad is it, doc?" Marvin asks between wheezed gasps.
The bite on his side is horrific, and with the amount of blood he's lost, you're not quite sure how he's even conscious, let alone sitting upright. The human body truly is a thing of wonder.
Still, you take the time to clean and disinfect the wound, eyes passively noting the darkened veins around it that have already spread across the rest of his torso. Leon is hovering behind you; you can tell he's nervous by the way he keeps shifting his weight back and forth. You give him credit for remaining quiet as you examined the injury—most people would be asking a million questions by now.
"Do you want the truth, Lieutenant?" you ask.
He gives a firm, but pained nod. "Don't gotta sugarcoat it."
You dress the bite with clean gauze and steady hands. "You don't have much longer left," you inform.
"Wait, you mean there's nothing you can do for him?" Leon cuts in.
You only give him a brief, sorrowful stare over your shoulder before your gaze settles back on Marvin—the sad gleam in his eyes shows he already knew what the outcome would be, but maybe he'd hoped for a miracle, one you couldn't give him. "How much do you know about what's going on?" you ask Leon.
He appears uncertain. "I mean, I've seen the news reports—"
"It's worse than the news reports," you interrupt, more sharply than you intended. "… Obviously." You stand up after giving Marvin's bandages another once-over before pulling off your gloves with a definitive snap. "It's a virus. We don't know where it came from, only that the outbreak started six days ago. It's capable of transmission through various methods, including bodily fluids—" Your jaw sets. "—for example, a bite."
"There's not like… medicine or something you can give him?" he asks defeatedly.
"No," you answer, and your eyes meet Marvin's. "I'm sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear—"
"Don't worry about it, doc," he says as he leans back into his seat with a grimace. "You two just worry about getting out of here."
Leon steps forward as if ready to argue. "But—"
"I mean it, rookie."
His mouth snaps shut, and you glance between the two officers observantly as you repack your supplies into your bag. Clearly, this is a conversation they've already had—one that Marvin is not keen to repeat despite Leon's insistence, judging by the simmering stare the older man sends him.
You step away, allowing the lieutenant the chance to rest, pulling Leon with you. "Is there a way out?" you ask with a curious gleam in your eye. "I heard a lot of the evacuation routes were shut down a few days ago to contain the spread of the virus."
"They think there's a secret passage under that statue," he answers, jutting a chin over to the large statue looming behind the desk.
You gaze back and forth between him and the statue several times before you give him a deadpan look—as if you think he's joking. "Seriously?"
A small, lopsided smirk forms on his face like he's amused by your reaction, and he shrugs his shoulders half-heartedly. "It's worth a shot, right?"
You consider each other, and for the first time in a very long few days, you let comfort settle in your chest—at least, you wouldn't be alone anymore. "Alright," you concede. "Me and you… rookie."
He blinks with surprise at your teasing tone, a laugh bubbling out of him. "Hey!"
Leon keeps you close behind him as you make your way through the police station, putting himself between you and the undead that are wandering around, even though you're armed and more than capable of defending yourself. "You know you don't have to protect me, right?" you say as you watch over his shoulder as he shoots the knees out from under another zombie.
He looks over at you, blue eyes fixed on yours. "I want to," he replies before quickly shutting his mouth, as if he knows he's said something wrong but can't stop himself, and stammers out, "I just… if you'd let me, I'd like to."
He can't tell what you're thinking; he only sees the understanding fall across your face as you bob your head. "Okay, Leon," you agree more readily than he expects. "But just so you know, I'm an excellent shot."
His gaze drops down to your hands—the ones he saw so tenderly treat Marvin's wound—and then to his own—already covered and caked with blood and grime. "Don't want you to get your hands dirty." He says it casually, like a joke, but you can discern it in the tightness around his jaw—the truth of it.
Your teeth clench until you feel the ache through your skull. You wonder if he knows the amount of blood you've had on your hands or how many times you've scrubbed your skin raw to wash it away, as if your dreams aren't haunted by visions of blood and death.
"Yeah, wouldn't want that," you murmur.
Sometime later, as you're catching your breath in a relatively safe spot, he asks, "So, you were at the hospital when the outbreak started?"
You're checking your supplies, something Leon is already picking up as a habit of yours, like you don't know what to do with idle hands. "I was," you reply in as passive a tone as possible, as if trying to disconnect from what you witnessed there. "Kind of a shitty place to be when the zombie apocalypse starts. We didn't really know what was going on at first, and I… I just wanted to help." You take a deep breath. "Eventually, we got inundated—staff were turning, and the hospital became overrun. I got separated from everyone else, and was holed up by myself for three days before I finally decided to try to leave."
"You're okay, though?"
Your eyes flick up to his, noticing how he's carefully watching you, before dropping back down to check how much gauze you have left. Tears gather at your waterline, and you try to blink them away as your nostrils flare, but your gaze lifts to him again as a smile tightens on your lips. "Do you want the truth?" You repeat the question you asked Lieutenant Branagh.
"Don't gotta sugarcoat it," he answers.
Your chin trembles, but the forced smile stays in place as your nose scrunches to accommodate the sting in your sinuses. "Not really."
He's at your side before he even knows what he's doing, his hand gingerly grabbing your shoulder as he ducks his head to look you in the eye. "Hey." His voice is soft and tender.
Embarrassment burns across your cheeks in the form of a blush, raising your hand to wipe at the tears that have escaped, but he takes hold of your wrist. His touch is gentle, as if he's handling something fragile—it's something that normally would fill you with disdain, but in this moment, after everything you've been through, you find you don't mind being handled with such care.
"Hey, it's okay." He doesn't make you face him; instead, he steps in front of you. The warmth of his body so close to yours feels grounding and disorienting all at once—it's overwhelming. You focus on his voice as he murmurs, "We'll get through this, okay?"
You avoid eye contact with him, just staring at the 'R.P.D.' on his vest, trying not to sniffle pathetically, especially when you can feel his gaze on you.
He tilts his head down. "We will," he reiterates, more firmly this time.
As if you can't help yourself anymore, your eyes finally rise to meet his. Being so close, you're finally aware of the exact shade of blue they are, like the sky on a summer afternoon when the sun burns so hot that the ice cream would start melting before you've even unwrapped it.
You stare up at him, and for a moment, you look like you believe him. "Okay."
When you and Leon end up on the east side of the station in the Art Room, you're both examining the statue with slanted heads and quirked brows. "This place is really weird," you say finally, and Leon can do nothing but nod in agreement.
You're aware that the Raccoon City Police Department used to be an art museum, but that was well over thirty years ago, so the fact that there are still remnants of it lingering about the station is certainly odd, never mind all of the strange doors and puzzles you've both stumbled upon.
As he's checking out the statue and fruitlessly trying to pry the ruby scepter from its hand, you're searching around the room for anything else that might be useful when you see something sitting on one of the end tables. You let out an excited squeal that causes Leon to lose his grip on the scepter, stumbling back and nearly tripping over his own feet as he rushes over to you. "What?! What is it?" he asks, already feeling a lump gathering in his throat.
You spin around and hold up what you've found with a triumphant twinkle in your eye, his close proximity not even phasing you. "Keycard!" you declare before blinking as your brows furrow together, watching as he places a hand to his chest and begins to take deep, regulated breaths. "Uh, you okay?"
He gives a weak thumbs up. "Yeah, y'know, only a minor heart attack, I'm sure it's nothing I can't walk off." As his blood pressure returns to normal and he waves off your brief look of concern, he asks, "So, what's that for exactly?"
"For the Weapons Locker in the Safety Deposit Room," you say before tapping him on the nose with the card, a mischievous grin on your lips, causing his cheeks to flush pink as you lean in, pushing all boundaries aside. It's so uncharacteristic of what he's seen from you so far—a glimpse of who you were before all of this began, and he feels a flutter in his chest. "Dibs on the shotgun."
That's how Leon Kennedy ends up watching you inspect said gun in your hands with something like reverence, delight spreading across your face that eases the deep lines of worry and exhaustion that once marred it. "You know how to work that thing?" he asks with an amused raise of his eyebrows.
You wink at him—quick and playful. "Wanna find out?"
Some time later, you find yourself outside in the rain, your scrubs starting to stick uncomfortably, the drops catching on your eyelashes and blurring your vision as you rifle through your backpack, a couple of packets of gauze held between your teeth as you fish out disinfectant and medical tape. Behind you, the back end of a helicopter hangs out of the police station after it crashed into the building, while in front of you, Leon talks through the fence with the girl he came into Raccoon City with—Claire.
"Any luck with your brother?" Leon asks her.
Her expression falls only slightly as she shakes her head, like she's trying to put on a brave front. "No."
"You're looking for your brother?" you question, finally piping up in the conversation for the first time after Leon introduced you to her.
"Yeah, he's part of the S.T.A.R.S. team for the R.P.D.," Claire says. "His name is Chris—"
"—Redfield?" you finish.
"You know him?" she asks, eyes growing wide with hope.
You nod; Chris was a familiar face to you, always sending you a smile when he saw you around and asking how you were doing. According to Jill, he tried a few times to join you both on a night out, but she quickly shut him down. "I told him it's girls' night, not girls' night plus Chris," she said with a roll of her eyes.
"Met him a few times," you answer. "He—"
You're cut off as the sound of an explosion reverberates through the air, the helicopter bursting into a ball of fire and metal. Instinctively, you flinch back while Leon steps in front of you in case any shrapnel flies out. "Damnit," he curses. "You know what that means."
"Yeah," Claire mutters as she glances over her shoulder at the zombies in the courtyard beginning to stir. "Dinner time."
"Hey—" you call out to her before she can leave. "Take this." You start shoving the medical supplies through the fence, and when she reaches to take them, you lean in. "I don't think your brother is in the city."
Her brows furrow with confusion. "What do you mean?"
"I saw Jill—He wasn't with her," you explain. "Haven't seen him for a few months, actually."
She frowns at that. "Do you think—"
"I'm sure he's fine," you assure quickly, realizing how your previous statement might've sounded. "And with the way things are looking around here, it's probably a good thing he got the fuck outta Dodge."
She nods, though it's uncertain. "Yeah." Her gaze flits between you and Leon. "You two stay safe, okay?"
"You too," Leon says with a worried pinch to his brow as he watches her start to leave.
"Be careful," you call out.
"We'll get through this," she says as she turns to weather the swarm of undead. "All of us."
Your suspicions that there were more than just normal undead here were not unfounded, you think bitterly as you come across creatures that someone deemed "lickers" in a note you found. The hall near the S.T.A.R.S. office is crawling with them—quite literally. You grab Leon by the sleeve of his shirt, dragging him through the door as one crawls overhead, closing it just as it makes a high-pitched shrieking noise.
"God, what was that thing?" he breathes out.
"No idea," you answer as you put an ear to the door to ensure they won't follow you in here. "We had something in the hospital that wasn't normal undead, but it wasn't that."
"You mean there's more than just undead wandering around?" he asks with a frown.
You grimace as you think of the various possibilities—given what you've observed so far, most of them are bleak. "Well, if the virus is capable of transmission to other species… yes."
"Is that… likely?"
You don't imagine your expression is particularly comforting as you say, "More likely than a zombie apocalypse."
He inhales, processing the information before taking a look around. "Where are we?" he asks.
"S.T.A.R.S office," you reply as you make your way further in, hoping to find something—anything—that might be useful.
Leon trails after you. "You said you were friends with Claire's brother—"
"I knew Claire's brother," you correct. "I was friends with one of his teammates—Jill Valentine."
The office is a mess, as if someone tore through it searching for something, with papers scattered and boxes everywhere. You're looking around the captain, Wesker's, office when Leon calls out to you. "Is this Jill?" he asks. You peek your head out and notice him holding a picture frame he picked up from one of the desks.
You step closer, unsure of what you're expecting as he flips it around to show you, but seeing your face staring back at you isn't it. A pit forms in your stomach as you look at the photo of you and Jill; she'd bought one of those disposable cameras and wouldn't stop taking pictures one night when you were out bar hopping together. You're both sitting on stools in some dingy dive bar, leaning into each other, practically cheek to cheek, smiling at the camera, very obviously drunk.
It's a photo that Jill keeps on her desk.
Your throat tightens at the realization. "You two seem close," Leon notes with a fond smile.
You didn't think you were. You never even considered the possibility that Jill thought of you as more than a casual acquaintance with whom she would occasionally grab a drink or lunch. But she is the closest friend you have—your best friend. Too caught up in your own inability to allow yourself to take up space in another person's life, you didn't realize that someone had carved out that space for you without you even asking.
Regret wells up inside you. It's sharp and agonizing, a pain worse than fear—something you should have endured for her. You should have gone with her and Carlos and made sure she was okay. But you didn't, and now you don't know if you'll ever see her again, if you could've made a difference.
What if she's dead because of you?
A noise escapes the back of your throat, like a wounded animal, and Leon is startled by it. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, setting the photo down to take you by your shoulders.
You shake your head; you can't put the feeling into words right now—the immense grief of a loss you never knew you were entitled to, hacking your heart into pieces. "I—" Your throat tightens. "Yeah… yeah, we were close."
"You said you saw her," he recalls. "Is she…"
"I don't know," you answer, voice hoarse as you try to hold back tears.
He's quiet in his understanding, leaving you standing in front of Jill's desk, staring at the photo as he investigates the rest of the office.
When you and Leon leave, the frame is empty, and the photo is safely tucked in your backpack.
"So, we just put these medallions in?" you ask, voice full of disbelief as you stand in front of the statue in the main hall, peering over Leon's shoulder at the notes written in the notebook Marvin gave him.
He nods. "Seems so."
"This is really fucking weird."
"Yup."
Once you insert the medallions, the hall fills with the sound of stone grinding against stone as the gears turn the mechanism on. You take a cautious step back as you watch the statue's base start to shift, revealing a passage underneath. "Well, shit," you mutter, scratching the back of your head. You honestly thought this Officer Elliot was full of shit.
Leon steps down the stairs, pulling on the metal gate to open it, trying to spy what might lie beyond the darkness the stairs lead to, but sees nothing. "Looks like it goes underground," he says before turning. "Lieutenant Branagh!" he calls out. "Marvin!"
You follow behind him, a frown on your lips as he approaches Marvin, who is now curled up on the bench you'd left him on, appearing much worse for wear. Sweat clings to his forehead as his face scrunches up in pain, even as he sleeps. His breathing is labored, and you can note the bandages on his side have bled through, as if he isn't clotting properly.
"It's time to go," Leon urges. "Hey, Marvin." As he goes to shake the lieutenant awake, Marvin juts up, an almost inhuman growl resonating from the back of his throat as he bears his teeth at Leon.
Your fingers hover at the back of Leon's uniform, ready to pull him away if the worst were to happen, but you watch with only a minimal amount of relief as Marvin shakes his head, blinking blearily as if realizing where he is—who he is.
"We've got to get you to a hospital," Leon softly says.
Leon doesn't give up—it's like he doesn't know how to. "Look, we can still make it out of here together—"
You don't flinch when Marvin unholsters his gun and points it at him. No part of you believes he would actually pull the trigger. His eyes lock onto yours, as if you're the voice of reason who might talk Leon out of it. "Please," he begs. "We can't let this spread. Just go."
You take a deep, steady breath as you grab Leon by the arm. "Leon," you say as gently as you can because you can already feel the way he's trembling. "C'mon, we need to go."
He doesn't even try to pry himself away from your grip. "No, we can't leave him," he murmurs, and you can hear it in his voice—the break of desperation—the realization that you can't save everyone.
Marvin nods at you, tears threatening to spill over, and a quiver to his lip that he's determined not to show, but you see it anyway. You're guiding Leon toward the passageway, and he lets you pull him along as if he won't allow himself to move on his own, sorrowfully watching Marvin the whole time as you cross through the door. You shut the gate behind you, the way back getting cut off as the passageway seals up once more.
The tremor in Leon's hands won't stop, and you hear him sniff, a sound that makes guilt prickle up your spine. You hold the hand you'd been gripping a little tighter, as if to remind him you're still here with him. "I'm sorry, Leon," you murmur.
"What good are we?" he finally asks, voice barely above a whisper as if he can't bring himself to speak any louder. "I'm a cop, you're a doctor… and we couldn't even save him—that's what we're supposed to do, we're supposed to save people."
You don't take his words personally. It's a thought you've found yourself dwelling on many times over the past few days—actually, the past few years. You remember what Dr. McKay said to you after you lost your first patient. "We can't save everyone." She didn't say it to be cruel or to diminish what you were feeling. It was meant to serve as a reminder that you could do everything right and it still might not be enough. There is a peculiar kind of heartache in the death of good intentions, and the way defeat can pile up so easily.
"But that doesn't mean you give up," she finished, and as you looked up at her from the bathroom stall floor, tears streaming down your cheeks, you nodded in understanding. A silent promise to her and to yourself that you would keep going, even when it becomes too much and you feel like quitting—especially when you feel like quitting—you have to keep going.
"We can't save everyone," you say in just as soft a tone as Dr. McKay had that day, hoping you can impart half as much wisdom as she did to you.
"You've lost patients before, right?" he asks.
"I have," you confirm. "It doesn't… It doesn't get any easier—but you learn to make room in yourself to tuck those feelings into so it doesn't feel so overwhelming." Your fingers weave through his, pressing your joined hands firmly to his chest. "And if you need to cry, you cry."
His eyes find yours in the dim light, and you see the exact moment when the unyielding shield he's had raised this entire time comes crumbling down. He gasps for breath that stalls in his throat, getting caught there as he chokes back a sob. Tenderly, you reach out with your other hand, clasping the back of his neck and bringing him to you, allowing him to bury his head into your shoulder. His arm wraps around you as he cries, body shaking as he does.
Your fingers comb through his hair, rubbing his head soothingly, whispering 'it's okay' to him again and again, hoping that this time it will be enough, and that the smell of gunpowder and leather won't linger in your memory bittersweetly.
He remains slumped against you for a while—you don't count the minutes, only listening as his breathing steadies, body relaxing in your arms. When he finally pulls away, you let him. "Sorry," he mutters as he sniffs. "Didn't mean to start crying on you."
There are still remnants of tears on his cheeks, and you absentmindedly reach up, swiping them away with your thumbs. "I've already cried in front of you twice," you say in a lighter tone. "As far as I'm concerned, you still owe me one."
He laughs, it's soft and raspy, and you know his heart isn't quite completely in it. "Didn't know we were keeping track."
You step back, brushing off some dirt from the sleeves of his uniform. "Officer Kennedy, it's very important to never let yourself be in someone's debt," you say with a dramatic somberness. "You'll never know when they'll come to collect."
"If it's you, I don't think I'll mind," he says, smiling down at you with a little less grief on his face.
"I'll make you eat those words," you say. You peer down the dark staircase, flicking on your flashlight to get a better look. "Wanna go check out what's in the creepy secret passageway?"
He nods readily, squaring his shoulders once more, preparing for whatever you might discover. "Yeah, let's find a way out of here."
After stumbling upon some kind of office, you and Leon step into an elevator that takes you even deeper underground. When you exit, it's like you're in a totally different place—an industrial processing area. Grated catwalks hang above, and a room filled with vats steams below. "What is this?" you mutter. "Are we in the sewers?"
"Maybe?" he offers unhelpfully as he leads the way before you come to a metal locker blocking the path forward. "Hold on." He holsters his gun, lifting the locker back into place with a grunt.
You refrain from clapping but make an idle comment, "Way to go, muscles."
He peeks back at you bashfully as he ambles through the doorway, just as something drops down from above. It's a man—or at least it was; he's been mutated into something monstrous—sinewy muscle strands connect to an enlarged arm, a gigantic yellow eye blinking at the shoulder.
"What the—" The creature snatches Leon by the throat, slamming him onto the grated floor. "Run!" He manages to shout at you as it lifts him up again, only to hammer him back down, the floor starting to give way beneath them.
You don't. Instead, you level your shotgun and fire, hitting it right in its deformed shoulder. It lets out a loud roar that echoes all around you, stumbling back from Leon. "Up," you order as you help him off the ground. "Let's go." You motion over the railing to the ten-foot drop to the level below.
Leon can't argue, too busy trying to catch his breath as he lets you guide him over the railing, landing with a firm 'oof'. He hears another blast from your gun, and the monster screams once more, before you fall down beside him, grimacing as you feel the impact in your knees. Then he's grabbing your free hand, his own gun now drawn as he moves through the maze of machinery.
Behind you, the creature jumps down, stumbling after you, bellowing out in a way that almost feels like it's trying to speak. "Split up," you say, pushing him one way before he can protest, while you head in the other direction.
Predictably, it follows you after the two shotgun slugs you put into it. You peek over your shoulder, seeing the massive eye on its arm open and scanning around. You turn, treading backward as you fire another shot, and it screams out—angry or hurt, you don't know, but you keep shooting.
Leon appears behind it, emptying a whole clip while you have it distracted. "Aim for the eye!" you call out before turning to run again, the beast hot on your trail. You hear the grind of the metal pipe in its hand against the floor as it roars, lumbering behind you.
You hear Leon yell your name, and you glance over your shoulder just in time to see the glint of the metal pipe about to strike you. Your stomach drops as you squat down, narrowly evading the attack, feeling the rush of air from the swing.
Clang.
Hiss.
The pipe bashes against one of the valves leading into the machinery, filling your vision with steam, and you use the distraction to scramble away from the monster.
"Wily ain't ya, girl?" a voice laughs in your ear. You shake your head, trying to rid yourself of your father's ghost.
As the labyrinth floods with more steam with each wild flail of the creature and its pipe that clang, clang, clangs against the machinery. It becomes disorienting, and you almost run headfirst into Leon, and he steadies you by your shoulders as you cough out an apology, feeling your lungs cloud with hot vapor.
As it stomps toward you, he steps in front, squinting as he tries to make out the large figure in the mist before discharging more rounds as it wails. "H-help," you think you hear it groan out—like it's still clinging to the memory of once being a person.
The thought makes bile rise in the back of your throat.
"Shit," Leon murmurs. "Gotta reload."
You push him to the side, racking your shotgun and using the sickly yellow glow of the eye in the haze as a target.
Ch-chunk.
Choom.
It screeches out as you hit it dead center in its shoulder, and it staggers backward as it writhes in pain. You watch with bated breath as it sails over the railing, falling into the darkness below. With a sigh, you wipe the sweat gathered at your brow.
Both you and Leon nearly jump out of your skin as a ladder close by suddenly lowers, though when you look up, the steam obscures whoever might be lurking on the catwalks above. "Someone is watching us," he notes with a hint of apprehension.
"Let's hope they're friendlier than that guy," you say while tipping your head to where the creature fell.
His gaze shifts to you, concern clear on his face. "Are you okay?" He doesn't wait for an answer and reaches out as if you're the one who was choked out by that thing, turning you back and forth by the shoulders to check for injury. "It didn't hit you, did it?"
"No," you answer before cocking a brow at him, noticing the red marks around his neck. "Are you okay?"
He nods, rubbing at his throat. "Yeah, I—" He glances down at the shotgun still in your hands. "I guess you do know how to use that thing, huh?"
"Did you doubt me?" you ask with a hint of mirth in your voice. "I'm a little offended."
He laughs and shakes his head. "No, just surprised." As you walk over to the ladder that dropped down, he decides to make conversation, finally asking a question you know has been burning in the back of his mind for hours, "So, you're pretty young to be a doctor, huh?"
You hum your confirmation as you climb up first. Leon watches, admiring how your scrubs cling tightly around your backside as you move, a flush spreading across his cheeks when he realizes where his eyes have landed, and he quickly looks away, waiting until you've reached the top to follow behind you.
"You're like… a genius, then?"
You purse your lips, like you don't quite like the term, or maybe you're too modest to accept the title. "Something like that," you say. "Graduated high school at fifteen, accelerated undergrad program, and then med school in three years."
His eyes widen, mouth open in an 'o' shape. "So you've been a doctor for…"
"Two years," you reply as you grab some ammo off a shelf and toss it to him.
"And you're… how old?" The way he asks this particular question takes on a much more intimate tone, as if it weren't just for idle curiosity.
An amused smirk twitches at your lips. "Twenty-three," you answer as you come to another ladder leading up. "And how old are you, rookie?"
"Twenty-one," he murmurs, as if embarrassed now. "You're… really impressive."
You feel your cheeks heat up as you turn to him, watching him peer down at you with fondness. "I—thank you," you say awkwardly, but Leon can still see the traces of pride on your face. "Guess there's nowhere to go but up, huh?" you ask as you peer up at the long climb with your hands on your hips.
"Hopefully it leads out?" he offers.
"Somehow, I doubt it," you murmur.
"How does a doctor learn how to handle firearms so well?" Leon asks as you ascend.
You pause for a moment, like you're considering your answer. "Dad was a big gun guy," you finally say, quieter, like it's something you don't like to talk about. Still, you explain, "Y'know the kind—doomsday prepper who thought he'd outshoot the end of the world he was sure was coming." You pause as you reach the top. "Turns out he wouldn't live long enough to see it."
Leon's silent, maybe noticing that saying 'sorry for your loss' doesn't seem appropriate for the situation—not with the tone you'd used when saying 'dad,' heavy like molasses on your tongue. "At least you're able to get some use out of it."
He's relieved when you laugh at that while pushing on what you realize is a manhole cover. "Yeah, there's always that." With a grunt, the cover comes loose, and you're able to slide it to the side.
When you pop up, you notice you're in an underground parking lot. You reach out a hand to Leon, helping him climb out as he looks around. "Still in the police station," he says. In the distance, you hear a sound that makes your stomach tighten: dogs.
"Is there a K-9 unit?" you ask, unsure if you ever remember interacting with any at the R.P.D.
"Huh?" He stares at you with bewilderment. "I… I think so, why?"
You quickly reload your shotgun and ensure your pistol has a fresh clip, too. "Remember how I said it was likely that the virus spread to animals other than humans?"
His eyes widen. "You think there's some zombie dogs roaming around?"
"I wouldn't be surprised if there's zombie goldfish swimming in the sewers at this rate," you say with a scowl.
He surveys the area, spotting the parking garage terminal next to the shuttered entrance and points to it. "Over there." You follow closely behind him, keeping an eye out for anything that might be lurking around. The parking garage is oddly silent, and it doesn't settle you; if anything, it makes you more anxious.
"Something feels off," you murmur.
"Yeah, I know," he agrees as he inspects the terminal. "Looks like we need a parking pass."
You sigh. "Of course we do."
A low growl behind you draws your attention, and you spin around, weapon ready. "Fuck," you mutter as you glare at the mutated doberman. Its eyes are milky, and it snarls, baring its teeth at you, with saliva and blood dripping from its mouth. "I hate being right."
As the undead animal goes to lunge at you, a single round puts it down, viscera splattering across the pavement of the parking garage. "Jesus Christ," Leon breathes out.
There's a grimace on your lips as you walk over to it, stepping carefully, knowing these things are hard to kill. You feel sorry for the poor thing, and so caught up in that feeling as you circle around it, you don't even detect the person lurking behind the pillar until you feel the cold metal of a gun muzzle to the back of your head.
"You two have made it further than I thought you would," a voice behind you says—a woman, you realize.
Leon brandishes his gun, a furrow on his brow as he points it at the woman just over your shoulder, but with you in between, you doubt he'd risk shooting. Still, she jams the gun harder against your skull, your head pitching down with the force, a scowl on your face. "Put it down," she orders.
"Let her go first," he insists.
The fact that she didn't disarm you immediately was a mistake on her part—likely, she doesn't see either of you as a threat. "Unless you want to lose a leg," you mutter back to her, and there's a brief pause as she realizes that your shotgun is still in your hands, aimed just slightly backward at an angle that would surely blow her entire right leg off at the knee.
"Clever," she muses, and then you feel the cool metal leave your head and the click of heels as she backs away.
You spin around as soon as you're sure she's at a safe distance, keeping your eyes on her while you drift backward toward Leon, who, once you're within arm's reach, grabs you by the backpack pocket and pulls you closer, lowering his gun as the woman lowers hers.
You take in her appearance—pretty with short black hair, wearing sunglasses, and clad in a trench coat, like a secret agent straight out of a cheesy spy movie. "F.B.I.," she declares as she raises her badge, then flips it closed too quickly for you to get a good look at it.
Leon relaxes behind you, but you don't; instead, you keep a scrutinizing leer on her. "What's the F.B.I. doing here?" he asks.
"Sorry," she says as she begins to saunter away, shoes clacking against the ground with a sharp tap, tap, tap. "That information is classified."
You scoff with disbelief. "Seriously? This place is crawling with monsters—an entire city's population has been nearly decimated, and you're worried about keeping the government's secrets?"
She glances over her shoulder at you. You can't see her eyes behind the sunglasses, but you know they're drilling holes into you right now. "Do yourself a favor—stop asking questions and get the hell out of here."
You both watch her leave through one of the side entrances, the door latching with a definitive click. "Easier said than done," Leon mutters as he turns to glower at the closed parking garage door, and then, after a beat, asks, "What do you make of that?"
The look you give him tells him everything he needs to know, but you answer anyway, "I don't trust anyone who wears sunglasses at night."
He chuckles, then, almost absentmindedly, his hand rises to cup the back of your head and tenderly rub the spot where the woman dug her gun into your skull. Your cheeks warm at the gesture, and you try to ignore the flutter in your stomach even as you lean into his touch. "I'm inclined to agree with her on one thing at least," he says softly. "Let's get the hell out of here."
You both go in the opposite direction from the woman, though you doubt it'll be the last you'll be seeing of her.
Staring at the man behind bars, you feel like you've seen him before. "You a reporter?" you ask, interrupting him and Leon when you finally place his face. You saw him in the hospital a couple of times in the past few months—he was desperately trying to get an interview with Dr. Bard, if you remember correctly.
The man tilts his head at you, beady eyes scanning you as if he's trying to uncover your secrets. "I am," he says. "Was about to blow the whistle on Irons—it's why I'm down here."
"Irons?" Leon repeats. "You mean Chief Irons? Is he still around?"
"Who cares," the man says with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Hopefully, he's somebody's dinner by now."
"What do you mean by that?" Leon asks, his demeanor changing—shoulders squaring as his jaw clenches.
A screeching noise, like metal on metal, rings out through the cellblock, catching everyone's attention. You step closer to Leon, hands still steady on your shotgun as you focus down the corridor. "What the fuck," you mutter.
"Hey, I'll make you a deal…" the man says suddenly, leaning against the bars, and holding up the parking pass that hangs around his neck. "Unlock this cell, and I'll give you this. There's no other way outta that parking garage! Believe me!"
"Sorry, I can't do that." Leon shakes his head. "I have to talk to the chief first."
You whip your head around, staring at him incredulously. "Leon." The noise continues, growing louder as if it's getting closer; it vibrates through your eardrum right into your teeth. "We need to be quiet."
Quiet kept you safe during those three days alone. Quiet meant those things didn't know where you were.
"We're all prisoners in this station," the man says, sweat starting to bead on his forehead as panic takes hold. "So either we play nice and help each other out—" Another loud bang makes him flinch, and his eyes widen as he stumbles back from the bars. "Shit. It's coming."
"What's coming?" Leon asks as he steps forward.
"Be quiet," you whisper firmly, but it goes unheard. Your eyes dart around, yet despite the approaching noise, you can’t tell where it's originating from.
"C'mon—c'mon, don't be an asshole, okay? You need this!" The man presses himself against the back wall of the cell. "Just get me the fuck outta here!"
A sharp gasp escapes you as an enormous, gloved hand punches through the wall behind him, sending bricks flying as it grabs him by the head. Leon shoves you behind him as he levels his gun, trying to get a clear shot at the creature. All you can do is watch as it drags the man, like he's nothing but a ragdoll, more of the wall crumbling with the movement, before a sickening squelch echoes out.
"Oh my god," Leon breathes as you watch the body slide down the wall, leaving a red smear of blood from his crushed skull.
You quickly avert your gaze, the sight of the man's bulging eyes making you nauseated, and when you look at the gaping hole now in the cell, you only see darkness beyond. You teeter away until you feel the jut of wood against the back of your thighs, leaning against the table.
You stare down at the concrete floor of the jail, tracing the cracked surface as you try to calm your racing heart. "We could have helped him," you quietly say.
Leon turns to you with a crinkle in his brow. "I didn't know if he was a criminal or not," he says.
You glare up at him with a scathing expression. "Does that matter?" you question.
He frowns as if he's puzzled by your reaction. "Of course it matters."
"He was a person, though," you say. "You said you wanted to help people."
"Yeah, innocent people," he clarifies.
His naivety unravels before you, and you huff with a shake of your head and a roll of your eyes. "You're not the judge and jury, Leon," you argue, and as you consider him, you realize you're looking at a kid—just like you—but someone who didn't grow up with a steel-toed boot on their neck. His world isn't tinted in shades of gray like yours. "It's not guilty until proven innocent—it's innocent until proven guilty."
"But what if we let him out and he hurt you?"
He's trying to understand, you know he is, but it still doesn't make you feel any less frustrated. "And what if he didn't?" you retort. "When people need help, you don't get to pick and choose who's the perfect victim."
A quiet tension settles between you two—it's uncomfortable and prickly, making you want to apologize immediately, but you hold back the urge. Instead, you watch as his eyes drift from you to the ground before you notice the sound of heels clicking through the cell block.
"Hope I'm not interrupting," the woman from before says coyly, no doubt having overheard your argument.
You ignore the quip, shrugging off your backpack to check your supplies again as Leon talks to the woman—Ada, as she introduces herself. Your mind concentrates on numbers—gauze, first aid spray, shotgun shells.
Things you can control.
You're transported back to every moment you've felt overwhelmed, imagining yourself at the suture cart, counting everything—forceps, scalpels, epidermal closures, tissue adhesive tape. Everything neatly logged and categorized in your mind, as you try to keep your head above water when it feels like you're drowning.
Out of the corner of your eye, you watch Ada stroll away again, waiting until the tap of her shoes completely fades before zipping your bag back up, maybe a little more aggressively than you intend. Leon approaches, standing in front of you and looking every bit like a kicked dog. You purse your lips, resenting how your stomach coils with guilt at how sad he appears. "I'm sorry," he says. "You're right."
"It's not about being right," you sigh. "It's about doing the right thing."
He nods insistently. "I know," he says. "I just—I was worried, and I don't want you to get hurt because I made the stupid mistake of trusting someone I shouldn't have."
Giving a noncommittal hum, you swing your backpack over your shoulder and finally stand up from your leaning position. It brings you much closer to Leon, who looms over you with a pout still clearly in place at your perceived indifference.
"You're not mad, right?" he questions, voice small and unsure.
When you peek up at him, the tender way he gazes down at you floods your stomach with butterflies. You pat his chest with the back of your hand, your expression softening. "Can't be mad at you, rookie," you mutter. "You're too cute."
He blinks in surprise, a blush spreading up his neck. "You think I'm cute?"
You try not to smile, rolling your eyes playfully. "C'mon, we need to find a way to get that cell open," you say, brushing past him to leave the jail.
"I think you're cute, too," he whispers as he trails after you.
It should have been simple. Find the electrical components to reroute the power in the jail, open up the cells, grab the parking garage pass, and get the hell out of the station.
Easy peasy.
Until you encounter a massive, hulking figure with skin a sickly blue mottled with scars, it’s dressed in a leather trench coat and a black hat, resembling a human, but it very clearly isn't. You think you've found what killed the reporter—or rather, it found you.
"Jesus Christ," Leon stammers as he reels backward, watching as it lifts the helicopter like it weighs nothing.
"What the fuck is that thing?" you question.
When Leon shoots off its hat, you think it starts to walk faster.
"I don't think it liked that," you say with wide eyes.
"Nope, definitely not."
It moves deliberately, too precise to be considered a mindless creature driven solely by instinct like the normal undead or Lickers. Its heavy footsteps boom behind you as you dash through the station's halls, and you pull Leon through a door, one you remember leading to a room with two exits. Before Leon can try to run toward the other door, you snatch him by his belt, scrambling behind an overturned desk and pulling him down with you.
"God, he's moving like we owe him money," you mutter.
He hauls you between his legs, wrapping one arm around you as you curl into him, while the other hand covers your mouth to silence your heavy breathing. The door you just went through suddenly swings open with a bang, making you both recoil, and you can feel Leon tense behind you as sweat beads on your brow.
Thunk.
Thunk.
Thunk.
The footsteps stomp through the room, pausing only briefly, before you hear the other door open and close, disappearing down the hall deeper into the station. Neither of you moves right away, too afraid that one small move might give away your position. Then, after what feels like forever, Leon's hold on you loosens, and you both finally allow yourselves to slowly exhale.
His cheek rests against the top of your head. "You okay?" he asks, arm still protectively enveloping you.
"Only a minor heart attack," you answer. "Nothing I can't walk off." He laughs softly, and you can feel the rumble in his chest behind you. You cant your head back to look at him, not realizing how close he'd be. You can feel his breath on your lips as you ask, "Are you okay?"
In the dark room with just the moonlight streaming through the window, you think you see his eyes flick down to your lips for a moment before he nods slowly. "Yeah," he whispers, swallowing thickly like he's got a mouth full of honey. "Yeah, I'm okay."
"Okay," you murmur back, and a part of you—a very large part—wants to tip your chin up and close the gap between you. But the more sensible side wins out as you lean back, Leon chasing after you, maintaining the tempting distance. "We should get moving." There's no real urgency in your voice, and any resolve you hoped to convey wavers under his stare.
"Yeah," he breathes in agreement, even if his expression is tinted with disappointment, and his thumb traces circles against the soft skin of your arm.
Using every ounce of self-control, you extract yourself from him, standing and adjusting your backpack. Quietly, you head toward the door you entered, hoping that the monster will stay occupied elsewhere in the station for a while, when Leon whispers your name, catching your attention.
He grabs you by your jaw as you turn to peer at him, and the warmth of his lips against your forehead causes the rest of your face to heat up. Even as he pulls away, his hands continue to cradle you like you're something worth keeping. "Do you think—" His voice cracks, and you only find it endearing. "—Do you think when all of this is over, we could get dinner or something?"
You nod, a smile growing on your face—it's something to plan for, something to look forward to. "Yeah," you whisper. "I think I'd like that a lot."
He grins, and it feels like entire universes are collapsing inside of you at the sight. You find yourself once again praying to a god you don't believe in for the first time in two years, hoping that the man in front of you survives this and maybe, selfishly, hoping you survive too.
The trek through the station slowed to a crawl when you realized that making too much noise alerted the large, trenchcoat-clad creature to your presence—Tyrant, as you learn it's called when you finally manage to open the reporter's cell. He had written a note about it and how it's being used to hunt down witnesses to the events that transpired in Raccoon City—meaning you and Leon.
Whoever is behind this doesn't intend to allow any survivors.
With the parking garage pass in your possession, you and Leon weave your way through the undead that are beginning to swarm out from the now open cells, all the while avoiding the Tyrant as it chases after you. As you rush out into the parking garage, the door slamming open with a bang, you hear him yell out your name as something crashes through the wall beside you.
The first thing you're aware of is the iron grip around your throat, and the second is that you're hanging in the air, your feet scrambling to find purchase on solid ground now three feet below you as you desperately claw at the Tyrant's arm, trying to make it let go. You hear the pop, pop, pop of gunfire, but it doesn't even flinch, and you're gasping for air, your vision darkening around the edges.
There's a bright flash of light and the roar of an engine, then you're landing in a heap on the ground, wheezing as Leon rushes over to help you up and away from the Tyrant, now crushed between the wall and the S.W.A.T. van. As you shakily stand up, Leon's hands firmly on your shoulder, Ada steps out.
"You owe me one," she teases, a smirk on her lips, but it shifts into a scowl as the Tyrant begins to move. "God, nothing stays dead down here." You flinch back as she presses a button on the small remote in her hand, and the van explodes in a burst of flames, taking the Tyrant with it, though you doubt it'll stay down for long.
You're scowling as you hold up the parking garage pass. "Consider this your payment," you croak out, and Leon takes it from you, his hand hovering at your back as you all head toward the terminal.
As you all watch the grated shutter covering the exit start to rise, you realize that escape still doesn't feel any closer.
You don't think twice, stepping in front of the gun pointed at the little girl. "We need to terminate her before she turns," Ada says—her tone is callous, indifferent. Like she is talking about a lame horse and not a child.
"'Terminate'? That's my fucking daughter," the man grinds out, his own weapon drawn, ready to defend his family.
She doesn't acknowledge him; her focus is solely on you. "Step aside," she orders you, pointedly ignoring the fact that Leon is urging her to lower her weapon as well.
"You know I'm not going to do that." You see the shadow of her eyes behind the sunglasses, fixated on you as if she's searching for something. There's no change in her expression, not even a slight twitch of her lips, so you don't know if she finds what she is looking for.
"You're a doctor, you know what happens," she says.
"I do," you reply with a solemn nod, but even then, you don't move. Your gaze shifts to Leon, who is watching this unfold with a furrowed brow and a frown on his lips. His gun firmly in his hand, and you wonder for a moment what he would do if Ada shot you—if he would turn his weapon on her, the supposed F.B.I. agent.
Where, then, would his duty lie?
"You're a doctor?" the man asks from behind you.
I am, you confirm without turning around. It's a tense moment as you meet Ada's gaze again, watching the way her hand briefly tightens around her gun's grip before slowly lowering it.
"Is there… Is there anything you can do?" He knows the answer, but he still hopes anyway.
"No," you reply, and that's when you finally turn your head to look at him. "There's nothing I can do." The neutral demeanor you've trained yourself to keep when delivering bad news slips off your face as you regard him and his daughter with sorrow.
He takes a deep breath in—it stutters in his chest, and he nods sadly with acceptance. Behind him, his daughter rasps out, "Daddy…"
"Yeah, Emmie," he says as he kneels in front of her. "Daddy's here. I'm here, okay?" He holds her close, and you think of your own father and how he'd never held you with such gentleness. You're glad for the little girl, that she knows the love of a father and not the cruelty of one.
Leon tentatively steps forward beside you. The man turns his gaze to him, misplaced anger morphing onto his face. "You're a cop, you're supposed to know something—how did this happen? Huh?!"
"Mommy?" the girl chokes out.
And just like that, the anger crumbles away. "Mommy's sleeping, honey, okay? And I'm gonna put you to bed too, okay?" You can only watch with a lump in your throat as he picks her up, carrying her back inside before turning to consider you all. "Just go… just give us some privacy."
When the door shuts, Leon turns to Ada, frustration and anger twisting up his features. "It's one thing to keep the truth from us, but why from him?" You wince when the gunshot goes off, inhaling sharply and trying not to think about how that sound—this moment—will stay with you for the rest of your life. "I want to find out what's happening here. And stop whoever's behind it. People like them are the whole reason I joined the force."
You watch her eyes dart to you from behind her sunglasses. "And what about you?" she asks.
Disdain creeps onto your face. "And what about me?" you repeat back.
She quirks an eyebrow. "Did you not take an oath to help people as well?"
She's not as sly as she thinks she is—using your bleeding heart against you. You hate that you know you're about to agree.
You want to help.
It's a feeling that grips you so tightly you feel your bones ache with it. Even still, it feels bitter, spiteful, as you ground out, "Yes."
"My mission is to take down Umbrella's entire operation," she finally says, and she looks back and forth between the two of you. "We may not make it out."
"Whatever it takes to save this city, count me in," Leon firmly answers.
You study his profile—this version of Leon Kennedy, the rookie cop, cementing into your mind, idealistic and good.
Isn't that what you are, too, though?
You thought you were.
"If I'm rotten, so are you, sweetheart," your father's voice cackles in your ear. "Apple don't fall far."
The taste of spite fills your mouth—it's acrid and sharp—rotten like you. You swallow it down anyway.
When Leon looks at you with blue eyes full of determination, you capitulate under the weight of his gaze and nod your acquiescence. You don't have the heart to tell him this city is already lost.
Unease builds up in you as Leon prepares to drop into the sewer way below. "Be careful," you urge as you pat his shoulder. He glances back at you, nodding. "And don't get any of it in your mouth." When he jumps down, he sputters a bit, and you glare over the edge at him. "What did I just say?"
He surveys the area before peering back up at you and Ada. "Are you sure this is the right way?" he asks her.
"Unfortunately," she answers, and somewhere further down the waterway, a rumbling noise reverberates through the air.
"Wait there," he orders, and you watch with disbelief as he delves further into the dark of the sewer.
"Leon," you caution, skin prickling with anxiety.
The sound continues, growing louder as an enormous beast breaks through the sewer, a giant mutated reptile—perhaps an alligator. Meanwhile, Leon stands there, barely managing a small, "Jesus Christ."
"Hey, time to run now!" you yell, snapping him out of his stupor as he spins on his heel and starts to run, the beast lumbering toward him.
"Come on," Ada says to you as she backtracks along the walkway, both of you watching through the grated floor to keep an eye on Leon as he is chased by the creature.
"Why the fuck is there a mutated alligator in the sewers?" you ask.
"Same reason there are undead roaming the city," she replies before gesturing to the right. "This way."
An explosion echoes through the watercourse, and worry clings to you until you round the corner and see Leon in one piece down below, the remnants of the beast smoldering behind him. You breathe a sigh of relief, kicking the release on the ladder nearby. "Are you alright?" you ask as he climbs up.
"Peachy," he says, lip curling up in disgust as he shakes his boot, full of sewer water.
You, unfortunately for him, don't take his word for it, making him stand there while you check him over for any injuries. He doesn't even have the heart to wave you off and just watches with a smile as you sign off and declare him okay to proceed.
While you follow Ada, she tells you about the scientist she's tracking, Annette, who is responsible for making viruses for Umbrella to sell as weapons. For the first time, you consider the fact that there might be more than one virus at play: one that reanimates corpses and another that mutates people.
It makes your skin crawl.
You can feel Leon's eyes fall to you during her explanation, as if gauging your reaction to this information. Though your face remains indifferent, inside you're reeling at the news.
Spencer Memorial is a private hospital, and it's well known that it received significant financial support from the Umbrella Corporation during its construction in 1992. You were personally headhunted for your residency—you hadn't even applied there. In fact, you only applied to hospitals in the Northeast, hoping to stay close to where your brother attends college, but then you received an offer from Spencer Memorial with a number far above what most doctors could even imagine earning during their residency.
It was enough to get you a shitty little apartment in Raccoon City close to the hospital and to pay for your brother's college tuition—it was a no-brainer.
Now, though, you wonder if Umbrella had a hand in your recruitment, and if they did—what exactly did they want with you?
Fortunately, you're not able to ruminate on that thought too long, as your search for Annette is a short one.
She flees from you, yelling how she won't allow you to get your hands on the G-Virus, and as Ada pursues her through the corridor, shots ring out, and you can only watch in horror as Leon dives in front of her, taking a bullet to the shoulder. "Leon!" you yell as he hits the ground in a heap, crying out in pain.
You're sliding on your knees next to him in the same breath, and Ada's gaze dips down briefly, her eyes falling to you as you roll Leon over, like she's assessing whether you have this covered. "Go," you say as you dig through your bag.
She doesn't need any more convincing, disappearing down the hall, and as she goes, you think you hear her talking to someone. If you weren't so worried about Leon, you might suspect something, but your mind filters out the noise of unimportant thoughts—your only concern right now is Leon.
Leon exhales your name as you lay out your medical supplies on the floor beside you. "Yeah, rookie," you murmur. "I'm here."
"Did I get shot?" he asks with a wince.
You give him a disbelieving stare as you haul him up into a sitting position, despite his pained gasps. Pain is good—pain means he's still alive. "What do you think, idiot?" you ask.
"I think… I think I got shot," he confirms through gritted teeth.
You quickly cut through the sleeve of his uniform to get a clear visual of the wound, sighing in relief when you discern that the bullet went clean through. "You're a real MacGyver," you say.
He chuckles at you, though it turns into a sharp gasp as you begin to disinfect it. You mutter an apology to him, but don't stop until you've flushed the hole. He watches you the entire time, the intense focus that makes you seem more severe than he's seen you so far—for a moment, he imagines what you must be like in the hospital when you're in your element.
You must be a good doctor, he thinks.
As you start to pack gauze around the injury, he quietly says, "I'm glad you're here."
You snort as you wrap his shoulder to secure the bandages with tape. "Someone needs to patch you up," you say.
"I'm glad it's you, though," he reiterates. You tip your chin to peer up at him, realizing how close you are, and he rests his forehead against yours. His eyes flutter closed as he breathes in deeply—like this is a moment he wants to savor. "I… wouldn't want to be going through this with anyone else."
As he pulls away, you smile tenderly at him, the confession making your chest flutter. "Yeah, me neither," you say. "Don't think I could've done all this alone, to be honest."
"You could've," he assures tiredly. "You're so smart. You could do anything."
You lean up, pressing a kiss to his forehead, not caring that it's covered in sweat and grime. "Rest for a bit, and then we'll go after Ada."
There's pink tinging his cheeks as you draw away, giving the wrapped wound another once over, before starting to repack your bag.
"What do you make of all that?" he asks suddenly after a minute or two of silence. "Umbrella, Annette…"
"I don't know," you admit, as you sit next to him. "But I certainly don't think we're getting the full story from Ada."
He frowns, but not because he disagrees with you—more because he agrees and wishes he didn't. "She said she was F.B.I."
"People can say they're a lot of things," you comment with a shrug of your shoulders. You observe him for a moment—he's so trusting, and you can only imagine the people who would use that to their advantage. "But—" You take a deep breath in. "—If you're determined to bring down whoever is behind this, then I'm with you—F.B.I. or not."
He considers you for a moment. "If it comes down to it, promise me you'll save yourself," he says.
You recoil back, eyes narrowing. "I'm not making that promise—" He tries to interrupt, but you keep talking. "—We either both get out, or we don't. I'm not promising to leave you behind, so don't ask me to."
He whispers your name like it's something precious—like you're something precious. Even in a city surrounded by so many unspeakable horrors, with him next to you, you don't feel so afraid. It's odd, the steady way your heart thrums in your chest as you make up your mind. You're both getting out of here, you determine, you're not going to let the undead, F.B.I. agents, or Umbrella scientists stop you from doing that.
"You're just like your daddy, ain't you, stubborn as all get out," you hear in your mind.
Your ears burn, and the urge to move—to not stay still—pulls you to your feet. "C'mon, we should go look for Ada."
"I'm going to take a really, really long shower when we get out of here," you say as you trek through the sloshing sewage. The smell has seeped deep into your sinuses, and you hoped you might get used to the awful odor, but then you catch a new layer to it, and bile rises in the back of your throat.
Leon laughs as he leads the way. "Got big plans after all of this is over?" he asks.
"Well, someone promised me dinner, so I figure it'd be in poor taste to show up smelling like runoff," you answer coyly.
"You could show up smelling like anything you want," he says.
You smile because you know he means it. "What about you, Officer Kennedy?" you question. "Anything besides dinner plans?"
The smile on his face softens into something sad. "No," he answers. You wonder what life was like for the rookie before this—you want to ask, but it almost feels wrong—like you're dredging up something he might not want to talk about.
Not like you're particularly keen to talk about your shitty dad.
"Kinda hard to think past all of this, huh?"
He nods, falling silent.
When you finally find Ada, it's looking down at her in a trash heap through a viewing window. She appears injured, with a piece of metal sticking out of her leg, and you're glad she's smart enough not to try to remove it.
The door down to the area she's in is locked, and, predictably, as with most things thus far tonight, opening it will be an ordeal. As you explore deeper into the sewers, you realize the inefficiency of Raccoon City's infrastructure. "Who thought this was a good idea?" you question incredulously as you glare at the electrical component with a chess piece at the end.
"I feel like I've been in Pee-wee's Playhouse since I got here," Leon admits with a chuckle.
You glance at him briefly—the image of Leon dressed as Pee-wee Herman flashing in your mind—and then you're cracking up, hand on your stomach, doubled over. "You know you're really funny," you say.
He smiles sheepishly. "I—uh—thanks."
The undead appears out of nowhere. Neither of you notices it until it has your arm in its mouth, teeth sinking into your skin. Reacting on instinct, you push your arm further into its mouth, like you do with a dog when they bite, more concerned about it ripping away with chunks of your skin and muscle. You have it backed against a wall, cringing in pain as it chomps into your arm, when Leon steps in, driving a knife through its skull to make it let go.
As he finished it off, you're already pouring antiseptic onto the bite, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes at the sting. "Fuck," you whisper out through gritted teeth.
"Oh no," Leon murmurs, and you can see the panic, the way his face crumbles like you're already gone. "No, no."
You're trying to staunch the bleeding, thankful it didn't appear to have hit any major veins or arteries. "It's alright," you assure.
"You said the virus could be transmitted through a bite," he says, a pained look on his face as he remembers. "Like with Marvin—"
"Leon, I'm okay," you interrupt. "I've been vaccinated."
He blinks. "…What?"
You were down to just a few staff members—most of the others were turned or killed outright by the monsters wandering the halls of Spencer Memorial Hospital. They were supposed to be working on a vaccine, but you hadn't heard anything from the immunology team in over a day. It was Dr. McKay who said she would brave the haunted corridors to see if she could reach Dr. Bard's office.
You tried to stop her from going.
When she returned, covered in blood with a bite mark on her neck, she waved off her colleagues' help. "Didn't find anything," she told you all, and that was that.
You stayed with her as the virus took hold, watching her weaken until even just lifting her head was a Sisyphean task. "You're a good kid," she said through wheezed breaths. "You're a good doctor."
Your eyes filled with tears, and your throat constricted. "Yeah, well, it helps when you have a good teacher," you replied softly.
She reached out, hand cupping your cheek, gazing at you with such kind eyes. Always so kind—the person in the E.D. you've always looked to as a guide for compassion and empathy. There was no better doctor than her, that you were sure of. Then you felt a sting on your arm, and when you glanced down, you saw she was injecting you with a syringe. "Dr. McKay, what—"
"Now you have a fighting chance," she said, eyes shining with unshed tears.
"That was—"
She nodded in reply, and you feel your lip quiver. "Only managed to get one dose," she explained.
"Why didn't you save yourself?" you whispered, voice cracking as tears streaked down your cheeks, as you grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her. "Why did you do that? Why?"
There was no trace of doubt on her face, just a peaceful acceptance as she smiled at you. "You're gonna get outta here," she murmured. "You're gonna live."
"So you're immune?" Leon asks as he delicately dresses the bite, and you do your best not to backseat doctor him.
"If the immunology team did their job, then yes," you answer. "Hey, not too bad." You lift your arm up to inspect his work—the bandage is a little tight, but better that than loose and falling off your arm. "Still time to change careers," you say with a grin, though you're still feeling a bit woozy from the amount of blood you lost.
He gives a snort. "I don't think I could hack it in medical school."
You study him with a hawkish gaze. "Yeah, you're probably right," you tease. "Bet you'd faint at your first degloving."
He pales, and you just laugh.
When you finally gather everything you need to unlock the door, a somber mood settles over you after discovering a nest of creatures that resemble the one you fought earlier with the gigantic eye, almost as if this virus has been festering under Raccoon City much longer than anyone realized. The beast makes another appearance, and as Leon tries to knock it off the platform he's standing on with a shipping crate, you take pot shots at it from above. Watching it fall into the darkness again, you have little hope that this will be the last time you see it.
"Ada?" you call out as you tramp through the piles of trash.
"Over here," she yells back.
When you find her, you crouch beside her, mind going straight into triage mode as you examine the piece of metal protruding from her thigh. "Can you move your toes?" you ask as you snap on some gloves, not like it much mattered, given how much filth you are in.
She nods with a wince. "Yeah," she confirms. "I can't get it out on my own."
"Probably for the best," you explain. "If it hit an artery, you could bleed out, but we won't know until we remove it."
"Wonderful," she says as she braces herself while you get a firm hold on it.
"On three," you instruct. "One, two—" You yank the piece of metal out, and she gasps in pain.
"I thought you said on three," she groans.
"The three was in my head," you explain as you inspect the wound. "Looks like you got lucky," you say as you dab it with antiseptic before beginning to bandage it.
"What happened to your arm?" she asks with a curious purse of her lips when she catches sight of the wrappings on your arm.
"Caught it on a sharp metal," you lie. "Good thing I'm up to date on my tetanus shot—" You glance down at her leg as you finish dressing it. "Hope you are, too."
"You two should get out of here," she urges. "While you can."
"Not getting rid of us that easily," Leon says. "We meant it—we want to help."
As she looks up at him, her gaze shifts to you like she's questioning if you hold the same sentiment, and you only raise your eyebrows as if to say 'What do you think?'
You stand, take off your gloves, and toss them aside as Leon extends a hand to Ada. She accepts it, allowing him to help her up.
"Grab my shoulder," he instructs.
"Don't push it, rookie," she shoots back, and you snort.
He holds his hands up sheepishly. "Just trying to help," he says.
"If I want help, I'll ask the doctor," she says, sending you a sly smirk and a wink that makes you roll your eyes with a smirk of your own as you shrug your backpack on. "We need to get to NEST."
"NEST?" Leon questions.
"It's the lab, it's right underneath us," Ada explains. "Annette let it slip. That's where the virus samples are."
You lean against the wall of the cable car, too afraid to sit down, fearing you won't be able to get back up if you do. Exhaustion weighs you down, running your bones ragged. Idly, you check your watch, realizing you've been awake for well over twenty-four hours—it's almost hard to believe that you started the day in the hospital; it feels like so long ago now.
Your mind wanders to Jill, and just the thought of her creates a lump in your throat. If Carlos didn't manage to find a vaccine, she would be gone by now. You close your eyes, inhaling, trying to force that possibility from your head.
She's fine, you tell yourself.
She has to be.
"You okay?" Leon asks as he stands in front of you; there's concern on his face as he observes you.
Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Ada give you an inquisitive quirk of her brow.
"Tired," you answer before giving a weary grin. "Longest shift of my life."
He smiles tenderly at you. "We're almost done," he says as if he has any way of knowing that. "I can't wait for the F.B.I. to raid Umbrella's headquarters and bring those guys to justice."
You look at him, the sincerity so Leon that it almost pains you to think negatively, especially when you see Ada's gaze shift from you to him. "I agree… but to be clear, you're not working in an official capacity," she explains. "This is a federal case. Once we get the G-Virus, I'm back on my own."
This makes him frown. "Right," he murmurs.
"It's not a bad thing," she says. "You don't want to get mixed up with all of this."
"Feels like we already are," you comment. "That big guy that was stalking us around the station? He was sent specifically to take care of witnesses." You point between yourself and Leon. "Us? Yeah, we've witnessed a whole fucking lot." You feel the anger on your face. "And you haven't exactly been the most forthcoming with information—in fact, I feel like we've only just scratched the surface of what you really know. So, regardless of what you say—we're already involved."
She scowls. "Listen, I just need you both to secure the G-Virus, and then I can make sure what happened in Raccoon City never happens again," she says. "Trust me."
You hold her gaze, and it bothers you that you're not able to discern anything from it. She doesn't give a single thing away. You watch Leon, and his own conflict is written so clearly across his expression. "Fine," you say. "We'll get you the G-Virus, and then you get us the hell out of here."
She smirks. "Deal." As the cable car comes to a stop, she hands you the wristband she picked up in her pursuit of Annette, telling you it would give you access to the lab. "I'm counting on you two."
The lab—NEST—is a ghost town. The fact that this laboratory has been hidden beneath Raccoon City the entire time is unsettling, to say the least. You and Leon exchange looks as you venture through it, encountering the undead doctors and lab technicians that you skirt by, not wanting to waste valuable ammo.
There's a familiarity in the sterility of the lab that should make you feel at ease, but seeing the disarray the place is in only makes you feel like you're standing at ground zero.
"Can we catch a fucking break?" you mutter as you and Leon stare through the window into the room filled with overgrown plant life—God only knows what kind of weird experiment this is. You spot the wristband chip you need on the corpse wedged up against the glass inside, and your scowl only deepens.
"Maybe when we're dead," he jokes.
When the Tyrant appears again, you think for a second you might cry, but instead you run, briefly wondering if this is what your life will be, even if you do manage to escape—constantly running from one threat to another.
"What's the point of all this?" you ask as you and Leon finally find the lab where the samples should be stored. You're staring with a grimace at the mutations floating in large tubes like a fucked up art exhibit. "Create all these viruses and then what... the entire world population falls, and there's no one left to give a damn?"
He looks back at you, frowning. "I don't know," he says, but holds up a vial in his hand. "I think this is it, though."
You let out a sigh—not relief, not quite yet. "Great, let's get the hell out of here."
Then the alarms start going off, and you groan.
"Ah, c'mon," Leon mutters as he reaches a hand out for you. "Let's go."
You two don't make it very far as another familiar creature drops down from the ceiling, appearing larger than before, and with maybe a few extra limbs. "Why won't this thing just die?" you murmur as you level your shotgun to take aim at one of the numerous eyes it now has. Behind you, the door swishes open.
"Move," a voice orders—Annette. "He's mine." She shoots it with some sort of solution that brings the beast to its knees. "I'm sorry, William, you've left me no choice." With another shot, it collapses, letting out a noise reminiscent of agony.
"You called this thing 'William', why?" Leon asks as he kneels near it, despite your silent urging to maintain a safe distance.
Annette shakes her head, tears in her eyes. "It shouldn't have been like this," she says. "It's Umbrella's fault—this whole mess."
"You're Umbrella, too," he says with his eyes narrowed. "You're telling me you weren't involved in this?"
"Yes," she answers, not denying it. "But we never meant for this to happen."
"So how did this happen?" you question.
Annette recounts what happened to William—her husband—after the events captured on the tapes you and Leon found while exploring the lab. He was shot by Umbrella mercenaries after Umbrella discovered William was in talks with the U.S. military, intending to betray the corporation. He injected himself with a remaining sample of the G-Virus and turned into the monster before you.
"You made this monster then?" Leon asks.
She shakes her head. "We made the G-Virus, but we never intended this to—"
"You can spin it anyway you want," he interrupts.
You catch sight of the creature beginning to stir. "Back up," you order, snatching Leon by the scruff of his uniform and pulling him with you, but Annette isn't so fortunate, getting snatched up by it, and you can hear the bones in her body break. She lets out an agonized scream as it tosses her away, her body hitting the wall with a thud. With a roar, another arm sprouts from it, no longer even recognizable as what it used to be—human.
"Go," Leon says as he waves his hand at you.
"I know you're not talking to me," you say as you pump your shotgun. Your heart is pounding against your ears—you're afraid, but this time you wouldn't run from it. "I told you, we either both live or we both die." You hear him whisper your name, and you glance at him, smiling tightly. "Just one more fight, we can do this."
He nods with a determined set to his jaw. "Yeah." The lights around you flash red, and alarms begin to blare as the platform you're on with the monster starts to lower. "What are you doing?" Leon calls over to Annette, who is doubled over the control console.
"We can't let him get away!"
"Fuck," you mutter, and then Leon is urging you over the railing before following after you.
"Split up," he says as you both go your separate ways. The creature initially focuses on you, as if it still remembers your first encounter. It's easy to corner yourself in this place, and you're trying to stay out of its massive reach allowing Leon shoots at it from behind, while it's distracted.
It's a stupid mistake, overestimating how far you are from it, and you don't even register you've been hit until your body collides with one of the metal vats—the wind getting knocked right out of you. You're positive there's a rib or two that's broken and a ringing in your ear as your vision doubles. For a moment, you think you're going to be sick.
You think you hear Leon scream your name, but it's muffled as if you're underwater. You lie on the ground, watching through blurry eyes as it turns its attention to Leon; the only thought on your mind is how tired you are.
If you close your eyes now, it could all be over.
You've thought about dying a lot—of course you have—you imagine what it would feel like. Some people just slip away in a breath, and others go out kicking and screaming. You always figured that those who got to go peacefully had Lady Luck on their side—no pain, no fuss, just close your eyes, and then nothing.
Isn't that what everyone hopes? To just go quietly in the night?
With a small, broken sigh, your eyes flutter closed. The world around you feels distant—the hiss of steam and pop of gunshots so far away now that you can almost pretend they're not even there, just a dream you're about to wake from. Then you hear the footsteps amble up next to you—the sound is clear, present, here. It's the heavy stomp of steel-toed work boots, a familiar gait that would send a lick of fear up your spine when you heard the thud, thud, thud.
You're five years old, nine years old, fourteen years old, seventeen years old, and you're curled up in the corner of your childhood room. Your hands are trembling as you cover your bruised and bloodied face, and you don't call out for help because you know no one is coming. He squats down in front of you, reeking of tobacco and cheap beer.
"C'mon, girl, get up… acting like you ain't never taken a punch before," he scoffs. "Didn't raise you to be a chickenshit."
You gasp for air, the taste of blood in your mouth as your eyes snap open. With gritted teeth, you pry yourself from the floor, crying out as a sharp pain shoots up your side, but even still, you keep going. You need to get up. The sounds of a battle focus in around you, the creature bellowing out as it attacks Leon, who stumbles just out of its reach.
Your feet are unsteady beneath you, but you stumble forward anyway, shakily holding up your gun, the one Carlos gave you.
You are twenty-three years old, and you are not scared of the monster in front of you because you were raised by one.
You fire off a round, and it screeches. When Leon's eyes catch yours from across the way, you think you see tears glimmering in them, and then you're both back to it. It's him who deals the final blow, shoving a grenade into its maw when it grabs at him, and as it crumples to the ground—hopefully for good this time—you're both left standing there, breathing heavily.
He considers you—a silent question of if you're okay—and you give him a weak thumbs-up, and the next thing you know, he's crossing the distance between you, clutching you carefully by the shoulders, even though he wants nothing more than to embrace you. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, thumb tracing against the contour of your cheek.
"I—I thought—" he stammers, nose red as his bottom lip quivers. "I'm so glad you're okay."'
You place a reassuring hand on his chest. "Don't worry," you wheeze. "I'm built to last.
He laughs weakly, wiping away the tears with the back of his hand, before the two of you make your way over to the lift to take you back up, finding Annette propped up against the wall. You go to crouch down to help her, but she waves you off, as if she's already accepted what comes next.
When she tells you to destroy the G-Virus sample, Leon shakes his head. "No, it's evidence. It's going to the F.B.I."
This is the moment, you realize, when those loose threads finally come undone. "You trust that bitch?" Annette chuckles bitterly.
His brows furrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"She's not F.B.I., she's a mercenary," she says, and there's not even an ounce of you that thinks she's lying—why would she? What is left for her to gain here? "She's gonna sell it—the G-Virus is gonna go to the highest bidder."
"That's bullshit," Leon argues—the rookie cop, always wanting to believe the best in people.
Annette slumps over, holding her side. "I hope you're right."
Above, the automated voice warns that the self-destruct sequence has been initiated and you're pulling Leon away, leaving Annette to her fate. "We should destroy it," you say.
"What? You believe her?"
"Leon," you maintain with as gentle a tone as you can. "You know I haven't trusted Ada from the start, and… best case scenario, we set the F.B.I. back a few months in an ongoing investigation… worst case scenario, we just put a catastrophic bioweapon into the hands of a mercenary."
He's quiet as you two hurry through the lab, contemplating your words.
When you reach the main hub of the lab, you're not as surprised as you should be as you watch Ada walk toward you and Leon, concern pinching at her brow—you almost think it's sincere. "I was getting worried," she says as the lab begins to collapse around you.
"I gotta ask you something," Leon says.
It's like she doesn't hear him. "The way's clear. Please, tell me you got it."
"Yeah, we got it," you murmur.
She approaches, holding her hand out. "Let me verify the G sample, and we'll get the hell out of here," she says.
"Before we do that, we ran into Annette," Leon says, and you spot the subtle shift on Ada's face—the mask slipping. "She claims you're not F.B.I."
Ada exhales loudly, giving you both a look like she's the one disappointed. You're less surprised when she pulls out her gun. Leon shifts so he's in front of you, holding the G-Virus sample behind him for you to take before drawing his own weapon. "Why couldn't you just hand over the sample?" she asks.
"Because I realized even if I wanted to trust you," he answers. "I don't."
You grasp the vial—the weight of the decision in your hands feels crushing, with billions of lives at stake. Could you risk that? You swallow, tightening your grip, and you think of your brother—safe and sound, far away, but for how long if this gets into the wrong hands?
"I really hoped it wouldn't end up like this," Ada says.
"Maybe you should have thought about that before treating us like pawns," he retorts.
"Look, I'm just doing my job," she argues, cocking her head.
"And I'm doing mine, so drop that damn gun!" Leon orders. "I'm taking you in."
Not even a foot behind you, the catwalk begins to collapse, and you're barely able to plant your feet as Leon tilts his head back to make sure you're okay. Over his shoulder, Ada catches your eye. "Hand over the sample," she orders. When you glance over the edge to the chasm below, she notices it, the contemplation on your face. She hisses your name like it's a warning. "Don't."
"Put the gun down, then," you say, and then outstretch your hand so the sample dangles over the abyss. "Or I'll drop it."
There's a moment when she's weighing her options. With a heavy exhale, she lowers her gun, and just as she does, a shot hits her in the shoulder. With wide eyes, you turn to see Annette leaning against a wall, gun in hand. "Now no one gets it," she mutters.
Then, the worst thing happens.
You feel the floor beneath you give. You're grasping for something, anything, as you feel yourself slide, barely managing to hook your fingers on the grates—the sample of the G-Virus clatters against the ground, rolling until it flies over the edge—falling down, down, down.
Leon clenches his teeth as he grips Ada's wrist. Behind him, he hears you gasp his name, and he peers over his shoulder to see you struggling to hold on to the failing platform.
"Let go," Ada urges as she stares up at him—like she knows the heartache he would endure if he allowed you to fall. "You can't save us both."
"No, I can save you both, I—" Tears gather in his eyes as he tries to haul her up, but the platform drops even more, barely hanging on now, and he hears your panicked noise as you feel your hold giving.
"Take care of yourselves, okay?" she says, and he doesn't even have time to protest as she slips from his grasp, and then she's falling down, down, down.
Leon doesn't linger—he can't, or he'll lose you too; instead, he's scrambling to the other side of the platform, grabbing you under your arms, and heaving you up into his. "I got you, I got you," he assures as he practically carries you to the elevator. "C'mon, we gotta get outta here."
"Ada?" you question.
He pauses—you hadn't seen her fall. "Gone" is the only thing he manages to say.
He doesn't see how your expression turns somber—how you wanted to be wrong about her.
When you reach the bottom, it's Claire's face that pops up on the control room monitor. You allow hope to bloom in your chest—you're so close.
The voice overhead keeps track of the self-destruct countdown, and you're moving as quickly as you can with your shotgun ready—there's no time to fight your way through the undead that are beginning to crop up; instead, you and Leon carve out holes for yourself to move through.
"Is this a fucking joke?" he grumbles as the Tyrant jumps down in front of you two.
"The worst fucking joke in history," you say, out of breath and entirely sick of Raccoon City.
You and Leon sit on the platform between the train cars, breathing heavily. "Thanks," he pants after you practically dragged him up beside you when he was trying to jump on as it was moving.
"Don't expect that feat of strength from me ever again," you joke weakly.
He lets out a huff of laughter, bumping your shoulders together in a way that makes both of you groan in pain. Your hands remain clasped, and his gaze drops — taking in the dried blood around your knuckles and how your fingernails are crusted with dirt and grime. They look the same as his, and he tightens his grip on you, swallowing the lump in his throat.
Then, your eyes catch each other's at the same time. For the first time all night, the world around you doesn't matter, and the only thing you can think about is the gentle slope of his nose and how soft his lips look.
He slants his head to the side, and his other hand comes up to cup your jaw. This time, you don't deny yourself; instead, you bridge the gap between you. The moment your lips touch, you can't think about anything else other than Leon Kennedy and the goosebumps that prickle along your skin.
The kiss starts gently, like he's afraid he's going to hurt you, but you can feel the desperation in the way he angles his body, and how his breath hitches in his throat. One of your hands grips the fabric of his uniform at his waist, as if trying to anchor yourself to him as you lick his bottom lip. He gasps out your name, and you can feel his touch becoming more insistent, hand sliding from your jaw to your neck, drawing you even closer to him, and soon it feels like you're trying to devour each other.
When you finally break away from each other, he breathes in deeply against your lips. "I've wanted to do that all night," he admits.
You don't know that anyone else has ever considered with such tenderness. It fans a flame inside of you that you did not know was lit, and you tilt your chin up, pecking him on the lips. "Me too," you whisper, cheeks flushed at the confession.
"So, got any plans Friday?" he questions, thumb tracing your jawline.
Tears well up in your eyes as you laugh. "No," you say as you sniff. "I think I'm free."
He smiles, slotting his mouth against yours once more, kissing you once, and then twice, before he nudges his forehead against yours. "C'mon, let's get inside."
Relief floods you when you see Claire standing inside the traincar, and she appears equally as relieved to see you and Leon. There's a little girl with her—Sherry—Annette and William's daughter. At Claire's behest, you examine Sherry, but besides a healthy dose of mental trauma from the events of the past few days, you give her the all clear.
When you all feel the train rock, you peek over to Leon, meeting his worried gaze from across the train car.
"You two stay with Sherry," Claire orders as she goes to investigate the noise.
William Birkin turns out to be pretty fucking persistent. You're holding Sherry while Leon tries to uncouple the cars that are being consumed by the mutated Birkin while Claire riddles it with bullets from a minigun.
"Got it!" Leon yells. "Claire, c'mon!"
As Claire jumps back across, you all watch as the traincar Birkin fused with is caught in the explosion of the lab's self-destruct. You can feel the heat of the flames on your face even as you move farther from it, but soon it becomes just a speck in the distance. A collective sigh of relief fills the air.
Sometime later, Claire sits on the floor next to you. You're leaning your head against the wall, eyes closed, teetering on the edge of sleep, being gently lulled closer and closer by the constant rocking of the train.
"I'm just resting my eyes," you told Leon, who smiled at you like he definitely didn't believe you before kissing your forehead.
When you feel her presence, you peek an eye open, humming an incomprehensible greeting.
"You were right," she says as she peers up at the ceiling. "Chris wasn't in Raccoon City."
You blink, letting your head fall forward before glancing at her from the corner of your tired eyes. "Got any idea where he might be?" you ask.
She nods with a tight-lipped smile. "Europe," she answers.
You find yourself thinking of Jill once more. If she got out of Raccoon City, you had no doubt she'd be meeting up with Chris. "When you find him, and if Jill's with him, can you let her know I made it out?"
"Of course," she says.
Silence falls between the two of you, and you look over to where Leon is occupying Sherry with a very riveting game of rock, paper, scissors. "Listen," you say quietly. "When we're clear of the mountains, if you want any shot at finding Chris, you need to get as far away from here as you can."
Her brows pinch together with confusion. "What, why?" she questions.
"There was just a large-scale outbreak of a lethal virus—the government is going to be picking up and vetting survivors to ensure they contain the spread," you explain. "You have a better shot of evading them by yourself."
Her gaze shifts to Sherry, who's laughing as she wins another round—you have no doubt Leon is actually trying his hardest to win, judging by the small pout on his lips. "What about her?" she asks. "I can't just leave her."
"We'll look after her the best we can," you say before sighing. "With her parents gone and what you told me about the G-Virus, they might put her into federal custody—"
"Wait, what?"
You shrug your shoulders, not with indifference, but rather the knowledge of an expected outcome. "With the vaccine that was used on her, she's a precious commodity to the government now." You can see from Claire's expression that your words haven't eased any of her worries. "It'll be alright," you whisper as you place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "We've survived the worst of it."
"Yeah," she nods. "Thank you. Take care of them, okay?"
You follow her gaze, stare catching onto the smile on Leon's face as he finally wins a round.
You're picked up by federal agents forty miles from Raccoon City.
There's no resisting—it's something you knew would happen. They take you to a government facility somewhere in the Midwest. They draw blood, collect saliva and hair samples—every part of you is poked and prodded before you're thoroughly interviewed about your time in the city.
You tell them what they want to know—you don't mention Jill, or Claire, or Carlos, or Ada.
And then you're given an ultimatum, and you know it's because you're more valuable to them alive than dead—but that doesn't mean they would have qualms about killing you.
They threaten your brother, they threaten Leon, they threaten Sherry.
You're not stupid, though. You counter their terms with your own—you're not operating at a net negative with this deal. If they expected you to work for them after threatening anyone they could think of, you're going to make sure you get something out of this and more.
You're allowed to talk to Sherry before they move her to another site, claiming she'd be put into state custody.
She's upset, reasonably so, but she's such a smart kid. "Will I get to see you and Leon?" she asks. She doesn't mention Claire—knows not to when there are cameras everywhere, and you hope Claire is halfway to Europe by now.
You nod as you smooth her hair back from her face. "Yeah," you confirm. "We'll be able to visit you. I made sure of that."
And you did; it is part of your agreement that you and Leon should be allowed to visit her at least once a month. If they think you're a soft-hearted woman for wanting to be there to comfort a child, then so be it, because that's exactly what you are. She’s a little girl who just lost her parents and went through something so unimaginably horrible that she needs people in her life who don't just view her as a test subject.
"Be strong, okay?" you say, even if it feels unfair to ask that of her.
She puts on a stiff upper lip, and you know she's going to be fine. "Okay."
They let you call your brother after that. The phone rings only once before he picks up, and when you hear his voice on the other end, you immediately burst into tears. You hear him say your name like a breath of relief, and then he starts to cry.
He never cried; not since he was barely knee-high, not even when your father died—especially not when your father died. He tells you he's been calling around for days now, trying to locate you using the hotlines set up for family and friends to find those displaced by the outbreak and who managed to evacuate.
When you tell him you stayed to help, he lets out a watery laugh of disbelief. "Of course you did, you fucking idiot," he says.
You smile, cradling the receiver against your ear, and even though he can't see you, you nod. "Yeah," you huff out—shaky and tearful. "Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot."
You're not allowed to talk for long; you suppose they're worried you'll give away something if you speak for too long, but you tell him you're okay and that you'll call him again when you're able. You don't want to hang up, but when you do, you sit there staring at the phone for a long while.
With the proverbial collars firmly around your neck, they loosen the slack on yours and Leon's leashes. They put you up in a hotel for the night, promising that an agent will return in the morning to escort you to the airport for your flight back to the capital, though you have no doubt that there are several agents strategically stationed around the hotel, as if either of you would be stupid enough to try running.
You check in using fake names and IDs provided by the federal government, an extra precaution they claim, and receive your room keys—your room is a floor below Leon's, you notice as he takes his key from the woman at the front desk.
As you stand beside him in the elevator, he's silent, but so are you. You gaze at your distorted reflection in the metal walls of the elevator. This is the first time you've been alone together since you were picked up from a shabby gas station off the interstate. Something feels off—you can sense it from the way his eyes are downturned, how hopelessly he clutches the duffel bag filled with the personal belongings he was allowed to keep.
You wonder what they told him—what kind of deal they made him.
Your focus falls on him—he seems like a different person, you realize. Not just because he's no longer covered in sweat, grime, and blood, but there's something in the way he's standing.
You wonder if you look different, too—if this is what you'll be reduced to: the person you were before Raccoon City, the person you were during Raccoon City, and the person you are after Raccoon City. Your gaze shifts away, watching the numbers above the elevator door rise, until a tiny ding sounds, indicating you've reached your floor.
You step out of the elevator, preparing to turn to say goodbye to Leon, but he exits with you. "Leon?" you question softly.
The elevator door closes with a fwoosh, and his eyes stay fixed on the ground as if he can't bear to look at you. "Can I sleep in your room?" he asks.
Your heart twists at how small he sounds. "Yeah," you answer, and even though you want to reach out to him, you don't, as if he's a scared animal you're afraid you'll spook. "Of course."
He stays close behind you as you head to your room, a steady presence at your back as you unlock the door, almost guiding you inside, the cool blast of hotel air conditioning hitting your face immediately to counter the heat on your spine.
There's a thud as you toss your own bag to the floor near the entrance, and Leon does the same after closing the door, flicking the latch closed. When you turn to him, you find yourself being herded against the wall. You breathe out his name as his hands come up to cradle your cheeks.
He kisses you like he's drowning and you're air—like it's the only thing that will save him. It's desperate and heartbreaking. Your fingers curl into his shirt—it's baggy on his frame, a stark white color that almost feels clinical. He breathes you in as you exhale, tipping onto the balls of your feet to deepen the kiss.
"Thought I wasn't going to see you again," he whispers against your mouth, voice hoarse, and you note the tears welling up at his waterline.
His fingertips trace over the scrapes on your face, sliding down to your neck, where the skin is a bruised purple from where the Tyrant grabbed you in the parking garage. You see his chin quiver, and you reach up, taking his hand in yours and lacing your fingers together. "I'm right here," you murmur.
His nostrils flare, as if he's trying not to cry, and he kisses you again—harder this time, his other hand slipping under your shirt to rest on your hip as he pulls you close. You let out a shaky breath as he swipes his tongue against your lower lip, begging for entry with a whimper. When you open your mouth, he licks inside, eager to taste you, and nearly moans as he tilts his hips up into yours, and you can feel the hardening against your thigh.
The hand on your hip moves higher, careful as they brush against your ribs, and you instinctively flinch back from the touch. "I'm sorry," he apologizes quickly, starting to pull back.
You shake your head. "No, you didn't hurt me," you say, and stop him from moving away. "Just reflex."
Still, he's even more gentle as he traces along the edge of your bra, and when he kisses from your mouth to your cheek, then down to your neck, sucking at the sensitive skin there, fire burns hot in your core, and you gasp, eyes fluttering closed.
His hand slips past the waistband of your pants, and when he feels how wet you are, he leans his forehead against the junction of your neck, whining out, "Fuck."
There's no pretense as he yanks your pants down along with your underwear. You feel your cheeks heat up as they fall to your ankles, and he helps you step out of them before tugging his own pants down just enough to free his cock. He thrusts against you, wetting it with the slick of your cunt, and you can feel him shuddering at the sensation. When he grinds against your clit with the underside of his cock, you bite your lip to keep from moaning.
Grasping the back of your thigh, he lifts it up, forcing you onto your tiptoes with your other foot as he spreads you out for him. With another drag of his cock—a slow and arduous down and up—the tip catches at your entrance, and he slides in with one smooth motion.
It leaves you both gasping—Leon moaning out your name as he buries his head into the crook of your neck, and you clutching his shoulders, trying to find purchase on something as he starts to rock his hips—he doesn't even wince when you accidentally grip where he was shot, too focused on the way your pussy tightens around him.
The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the nearly dark hotel room, your own breathless moans and gasps joining in. A dizzying sensation builds in your abdomen and spreads through the rest of your body, numbing your toes and making it harder and harder to keep yourself upright, but Leon supports you, the muscles in his arms straining with each thrust.
A thin sheen of sweat coats his skin, and as he pulls you up just a little higher on the wall, adjusting the angle, your nose scrunches up with pleasure as you let out a small, choked 'oh'. His cock twitches at the sound, and he reaches up with his other hand to cradle the back of your head, preventing it from hitting the wall as his hips snap into yours, rougher now.
"Shit, Leon," you gasp.
"Say it again," he begs as he feels his balls tighten with his rapidly approaching orgasm, the way your cunt clenches around him with every drag of his cock edges him even closer.
"Leon," you moan.
He buries his nose against your throat, clumsily kissing your neck while softly whimpering your name, hips trembling as he cums. He doesn't stop until he's fully emptied inside of you, and as he gradually comes to a stop, he's left heavily panting against your shoulder.
You bite your lip, an ache still in your core at not having reached your own end, which he quickly realizes. "I—" he breathes out. "You didn't, I—"
You shake your head, fingers combing through his hair. "It's okay," you assure, wincing a bit as he carefully pulls out and lowers your leg.
"No, it's not," he murmurs as he kisses you, keeping you wedged between him and the wall.
"Really, it's—"
He drops to his knees before you can finish your sentence. Heat floods your face, a flush creeping up from your chest as you stammer his name. "Shut up," he says with no real bite to his voice as he spreads you with two fingers, licking his own cum that's dripping from you before you can protest further.
He groans as his nose nudges into the hair between your legs, tongue sliding through folds—the heady taste of you and him mixing together as his fingertips dig into your plush thighs. The coil in your stomach starts to tighten as he eats you out.
"Ah, Leon," you gasp when his tongue plunges into your cunt, like he's trying to lick out the rest of his cum. Your fingers weave through his hair, gripping it at the root. Even though he whimpers at the pressure, he doubles his efforts, noises growing obscene.
He's messy, his chin dripping down his neck with cum and saliva, and he thinks the scent of your pussy could drive a man to madness. What he lacks in technique, he makes up for in voracity, diving in like a man starved. When he throws one of your legs over his shoulder—his good one—he's practically whimpering into your pussy as he plunges two fingers into you, relishing in the way your walls flutter around them and how you moan his name.
"Shit, right there," you pant out as he crooks his fingers in a way that makes your toes curl. "Leon, fuck."
He can feel his cock twitching to life again—hardening against his inner thigh, and he reaches down, wrapping his hand around it, expediting the process. He whines when he feels the way you begin to tense, working his hand up and down his shaft as he hears your moans pitch up.
As you tilt your head back, your vision floods with white, hips grinding onto Leon's face, and he lets you—welcomes it. He doesn't stop until you're nearly sliding down the wall boneless, and only then does he pull away. Your chest heaves as you struggle to breathe in the aftermath, peering down at Leon, who is still on his knees, chin glistening and lips swollen from his efforts. You tug him by the collar of his shirt to get him to stand, and like an obedient dog eager to please their owner, he does.
He doesn't hesitate to press another kiss to your mouth, and you don't mind the taste on his lips as he does—your head still in the clouds from your orgasm. "Was that okay?" he murmurs.
You're nodding, eyes half-lidded as you hum out 'mhm'.
He smiles against your lips. "Can I fuck you again?" he asks, voice low in a way that sends a tingle straight to your cunt even having just cum.
When you bob your head, he pulls back just enough to shuck off his own clothes before pulling your shirt over your head, tossing it elsewhere in the hotel room. You giggle when he struggles to unclasp your bra, taking pity on him and doing it yourself, all the while he mutters an embarrassed 'shut up' into your hairline as he kisses your temple.
He walks you over to the bed, arms wrapped around your waist as he leads you from behind, kissing up and down your neck. Gingerly, he guides you onto the bed, taking extra care as he lays you down, being mindful of your ribs as he climbs in between your legs. Leaning down, he kisses you delicately—slowly, as if he can finally take his time.
You arch into him, feeling the thickness of him against your thigh, and he tilts his hips, giving you the friction you're desiring. He pulls back, fingertips tracing the contours of your cheekbones as he gazes down at you. "You're so pretty," he says, like it physically pains him.
Your face flushes. "Leon—"
"I'm serious," he murmurs against your lips as his hand trails down to cup one of your breasts, thumb rubbing over your nipple as it comes to a peak, leaving you sharply inhaling at the sensation. "So fucking pretty."
Bending down, he takes it into his mouth, eagerly sucking on it, enjoying the way you squirm beneath him. When he pulls himself away with a pop, the warmth of his saliva mixed with the cool air of the hotel room sets your nerves on fire, as you grind up against him, whimpering his name.
He kisses his way back up to your neck, nipping at your jawline before slotting his mouth against yours. "This okay?" he asks as he slides his cock up and down your cunt.
"Want you to fuck me," you pant out.
He's happy to oblige, but he eases in this time, savoring the feeling with a slow and deliberate thrust, and when he bottoms out, you both exhale with relief. "You feel so good," he whines as he pulls out and begins an unhurried pace.
It's still enough to leave you gasping as your nails dig crescents into the skin on his forearms. You're still so sensitive, and it's almost embarrassing how quickly you feel yourself building back up to the precipice of release. "Leon, please."
He stares at you like you might disappear from underneath him—like the heartache is inevitable. "Tell me what you need," he murmurs as he props himself up on one elbow, so he can kiss you properly while he fucks you.
"Touch me," you moan into his mouth. "Please."
His hand dips down to where you're joined, two fingers circling your clit in earnest, and he feels you clench around him. "Fuck," he groans as he speeds up, just slightly, but it's enough that you feel the tingle all the way up your back.
Each slide of his cock in and out of you pushes you closer and closer to your end, and he starts to softly murmur into the crook of your neck as his own release approaches. "So good," he whimpers. "You feel so good, I'm so close."
As his fingers work your clit, the white-hot tidal wave of your orgasm crashes down on you suddenly. "Leon, I'm—" Your words get caught in your throat before you can finish the sentence, thighs tightening around his hips as he keeps thrusting, gasping and moaning against your throat as he follows closely behind you.
You can feel the warmth of his cum as he fills you once more, hips stuttering to a stop as he pants. Your skin is sticky with sweat, and you feel like you can barely keep your eyes open. As he carefully pulls out, your body unwinds, and you're left with a pleasant ache between your legs as he collapses on the bed beside you.
He delicately tugs you to him, like he can't stand to not be touching you, and he buries his nose into your messy hair, inhaling deeply. You're both quiet for a while, breaths slowing, and the gentle whir of the air conditioning fills the room in the wake of your pleasured moans.
"Was that okay?" he asks again. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
You grab the hand he has around your waist, lacing your fingers through his, and tuck yourself even closer to him. "It was great," you murmur. "And no, you didn't hurt me."
You can feel him nod into your shoulder, and you know there's still more he wants to say—something hanging at the tip of his tongue. You don't push; instead, you gently rub your thumb against his, as if silently reminding him that you're here.
The silence stretches every which way around you until—
"Are we going to be okay?" he questions—so soft you thought you might have misheard him.
You peer over your shoulder at him, seeing him already gazing down at you. "Do you want the truth?"
He tries to smile, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Don't gotta sugarcoat it."
"Not for a very long time, I don't think," you reply.
His grip on you tightens, and his lip wobbles, as if he expected that answer but hoped it would be different. Tears fill his eyes and reflect in yours. Silently, you both begin to cry as you realize you've survived—and now you have to learn to live with it.
lowkey not sure how to do asks but maybe leon x m!/gn!reader w a nauseous re4 or re9 leon…(ur choice!)..bonus points for leon being vulnerable and going up to reader cause his bellys upset n he doesnt wanna be nauseous alone..ahh idk
Settled
Re4!Leon x Gn!Reader
On a lazy afternoon while you work from home, Leon stumbles into the living room after sleeping in a little too late. But…something else seems off, too. Leon never turns down brunch.
Word count: ~2.7k
Tags/Warnings: re4!Leon, gender neutral reader, light angst, hurt/comfort, sickfic, reverse-comfort, physical whump, mentions of nausea (NO vomiting), soft content, stomach ache, cuddling, vulnerable!Leon, caretaker!reader, minor separation anxiety.
A/N: Anon, you have, in fact, successfully sent in an ask because this prompt had me in a CHOKEHOLD today. Nausea’s such an unwillingly vulnerable side to bring out in front of someone it’s just ghhhuhhhhh. re4!Leon ended up being easier to bend for this but I’ve got a juicy post-re9 idea sitting in my head now where reader helps Leon through some bad nasty side effects from elpis (if anyone’s actually interested?? lolol). For now, I hope this appeases your hunger! 🖤
You were filing a chain of overdue work reports when you realized Leon hadn’t gotten out of bed yet.
He came in late last night, late enough for you to already be showered and under the covers, the book you were halfway done face-down and abandoned somewhere in the duvet. You knew Leon was wired coming home when you woke up the next morning to find a tall glass of water on your nightstand. Your book was closed and bookmarked next to it, your reading glasses folded gently on top.
When you rolled over that morning, you spotted him sleeping soundly on his stomach, bangs pressed into the pillow he’d been clutching. Leon had been kind enough not to wake you when he returned, even if you wouldn’t have minded him wrapping his arms around your back and burying his face in between your shoulder and neck.
It was rare for both of you to have so much off-time together, but with the overflow of reports you had to get in and the big mission Leon had finally wrapped up, things had aligned nicely.
Well…nice enough for Leon. He could lounge around in bed all he wanted, but your supervisor would throttle you if your work wasn’t done and sent in by the end of the week.
When you’d gotten out of bed that morning, Leon hadn't woken up. It was rare, watching him sleep so deeply. He usually had the nerve to stir and roll over, complain about waking him up or pull you into him before you could leave. Instead, he kept his eyes closed peacefully, an arm curled under his pillow and the other pressed soft against his stomach.
You wished you could watch this rare side of him for hours. But you knew you wouldn’t get any work done from bed—not when sleep was so tempting. Sighing, you left him untouched and didn’t bother changing out of your pyjamas as you trudged over to the living room, where your mountains of paperwork still lay on the coffee table.
The time flickered by as you marked up, signed, and sealed each form. You cradled another cup of coffee in your grasp and the last of the muffins you’d baked earlier that week as you worked on.
You didn't bother looking at the watch sitting flat on the table. You hadn’t noticed how much time passed by since waking up. Not until you heard the bedroom door creak open from deeper down the hall. Leon’s half-asleep footsteps wandered into the living room. You glanced down at the clock and realized that the morning had long gone. By the time you saw Leon’s head poke into the room, it was well into the afternoon.
He must have been extra tired, you thought. Leon was usually up before you after a longer assignment. He winded down best the morning after, when you were more awake and the two of you could do something relaxing together.
“Rise and shine,” you spoke without looking up, scribbling down a few more notes for the paper-clipped pile of jargon sitting in your lap. “What time did you get in?”
“Four,” Leon murmured from across the room. You hummed in acknowledgment. He’d gotten more than eight hours this time around. It had been awhile since that happened.
“You were sleeping so soundly, I almost wish I took a picture.”
Leon ignored your teasing about his beauty sleep, heading into the kitchen. You heard the water running, but not the hum of the obscenely expensive coffee maker you splurged on last summer.
When Leon emerged, he had a tall glass of water in his hand. He drank half of it, setting it down on the coffee table, far enough away from your stack of paperwork. He sat down, quieter than usual. You wanted to poke fun at his sleepy silence, but figured he was just being considerate as you trudged through your work.
You flipped the page as Leon settled into the couch, staring off at nothing in particular. He held himself just inches away from you, knuckles brushing against his lips, other hand resting loosely against his abdomen.
“Want coffee?” You asked absently. Leon shrugged from beside you, muttering something you couldn’t quite hear. “If you give me until the end of this stack, I can make us brunch.”
Leon seemed to sink further into the couch at the mention of food. You registered it as a tired yes until your arm came out to wrap around his shoulder. Leon stiffened, his heart thumping nervously in his chest and pulsing through his back. You pulled your arm back and froze. The numbers on your page didn’t seem so pressing once you really realized how little Leon said since coming in.
You pulled your eyes away from your work, noticing only now that Leon looked far from relaxed. He looked like he was holding something back, shoulders hiked up to his ears, face set in a glassy frown.
“You’re quiet today,” you said, rubbing your hand up and down the curve of his spine. You expected a classic one-liner, some kind of joke about how you worried too much. Instead, Leon let out something in between a sigh and a groan.
It was enough to officially set you off.
You set your papers down and leaned into him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into you. Leon seemed overwhelmed at first by the touch, before reciprocating the gesture more gently. He swallowed against your collarbone, his forehead sticky with sweat.
“Hey there,” you kissed the top of his head, smiling when he seemed to melt into your touch.
“Hi,” was Leon’s muffled response, breath hot against your sweater.
You knew Leon wanted to talk. He wanted the attention. Otherwise he would have spent the rest of the day alone, which…would have been okay too. But it had taken a long time to get here. Too much of swallowing down feelings and squashing old habits. You were both guilty of it, but what you loved most about Leon was how much he was willing to work at it. Leon worked so hard at everything he did.
“Doing okay?” You finally asked.
“Who says I’m not?” Leon quipped softly. You could tell by his voice that he didn’t feel like himself. Sweat stuck to his forehead, and you felt his breath jump as you let your fingers run through his hair.
You sighed, half-amused, and pulled him closer into your embrace. You let him rest his head against your chest, your legs tangled together.
“Because you never turn down brunch,” you murmured. “Today’s a slow day. I’m here if you need me.”
You squeezed Leon softly, feeling his exhale come out in short bursts through his nose. It always took a fair amount of coaxing to get him to admit what was on his mind. He’d been deployed for a while, but it wasn’t a field mission. Nothing violent. Nothing that might have set him off, unless there was something you didn’t know.
Leon swallowed again, breathing in sharply when he did.
“I just…I don’t feel good, I guess.”
You blinked back your surprise. The admission still sounded like he’d rather gargle glass, but you expected more pushback, a cutting remark or a quick subject change.
You could feel the heat radiating off his face and arms and felt a pang of sympathy in your chest as you stared down at Leon’s half-melted form. He must really feel rough if he was so ready to admit it.
“You’re not feeling well?” You sat up straighter, gathering the rest of him into your arms until you straddled his upper-half. Your hands swept his body up and down, as if trying to pinpoint the parts that hurt. “You wanna tell me in what way?”
You knew the difference by now, between a spiral of guilt, a bout of burnout, a physical wound, and the flu. But that was usually because Leon would conceal it until he couldn’t and came staggering toward you leaking with honesty. This time felt different, like maybe he was finally testing the waters of trust between the two of you and coming before things got bad.
“It’s really not a big deal,” Leon muttered into your upper arm. “Felt off going to bed and…you weren’t there when I woke up, so I just…”
He just didn’t want to be alone, you realized. Was that his way of telling you that?
Leon sounded so painfully out of his element. You knew it was hard for him to admit he just wanted someone around. He once told you after a few drinks that asking for what he wanted felt like he was jinxing it. It tore you up just thinking about it.
“You do feel a little warm,” You let your fingers fall from his hair down to his forehead. When you trailed down his chest through his t-shirt, you didn’t catch how his shoulders shivered a little against you. A fever might explain the lethargic symptoms, the loss of appetite. Maybe a case of the chills?
Your speculations halted when you brushed across his stomach and he flinched. You felt his abdominal muscles tighten, body tense as a painful-sounding hiccup wracked his chest. You felt Leon swallow instinctively against you, and your brain clicked with the realization.
“Your stomach doesn’t sound too happy,” You ghost a hand over Leon’s back until he seems to settle. Your heart plummets at the frustrated noise that came out of him.
“Yeah,” you watched him grit his teeth and breathe a little too shaky. “Yeah. Maybe that’s it.”
You slip a gentle hand beneath his shirt, warm hand on his even warmer skin. Leon curled into you, trying to stay silent as you traced comforting circles over his churning stomach. He hiccuped again, this one resulting in a thick burp. He stared up at you with a face so mortified, he looked like he’d rather be dead.
Oh, Leon.
“That sounded like it hurt, honey. Are you nauseous?” You asked, knowing damn well that Leon didn’t want to talk any more about where exactly his weak points of the day were. He nodded, eyes a little glassier. You pressed on. “Do you think you’ll be sick?”
Leon shrugged at that. He’d taken to breathing slowly through his nose, some kind of grounding technique he’d probably picked up from training.
“Sounds like you picked something up at work,” you tried to sound as neutral as possible. He didn't like coddling unless he was at the end of his rope. You didn’t want to push him any further. “You should sleep more. I can set you up in bed.”
“But you’re warm,” Leon muttered back, and your heart nearly skipped a beat. It was rare to see Leon so clingy. He tensed in your arms when his stomach flipped on its side again. He tried to backpedal, even if it was already too late. “I know you’re working today. S’okay. I can…”
“Stay right here?” You finished his sentence, though maybe not with the intended words. “I’m almost done for today. Why don’t we both sit tight for a bit?”
“…whatever you say.”
Leon’s head fell softly back onto you, one arm cradling his stomach while the other one curled around your waist. To appease Leon’s strange complex about needing others, your work was back in your hands within minutes. You didn’t want to risk asking him if he’d eaten anything weird. Whether food poisoning or a bad bug, the outcome would probably end up the same.
As you annotated with one hand, Leon had migrated downward, squished between your side and the couch cushion. He rested his head on your stomach, trying his hardest not to audibly react each time his body sent a dangerous signal down to his belly. You scratched the top of his scalp with your free hand, migrating down to rub softly at his upper back each time he muffled an uneasy burp into his fist.
When your stack of papers was finished, Leon was boneless pressed into you. Even asleep, he still held that frown that you’d always known as his hardened default.
Setting down the last of your work, you slipped off the couch and into the kitchen. As you waited for the kettle to boil, you rummaged around the medicine cabinet for the Tylenol and thermometer. The fact that Leon couldn’t stop shivering made you wonder if his upset stomach came with a fever, too.
The kettle hissed, and you poured the hot water into a mug bagged with ginger-lemon tea. When you came back out, Leon was sitting upright on the couch, arms wrapped tentatively around his stomach. His irritated face softened when he saw you.
“Have a nice nap?” You asked, grabbing the big blanket folded on the other end of the couch. You draped it over his shivering shoulders and sat down next to him. Leon grunted in response, nausea making him sway a little to the side.
“Fine.”
He sounded gruffer, like he was actively trying to shake off the clinginess from before. Once you were back down at his level, you turned Leon toward you and stuck the thermometer in his mouth.
“Open up.”
“N’t n’cess’ry,” he grumbled, the metal stick under his tongue muddling his speech.
“Pretty necessary,” you countered once the thermometer beeped a little too urgently. The fever was mild, but it was there. You passed him the Tylenol and the rest of his water from earlier. “This’ll make you stop feeling so hot. Can you stomach taking it?”
“You think I’m a kid or something?” Leon swiped it from your hand, clearly frustrated with how bad he felt. You didn’t miss the way his body convulsed after swallowing the pill. You could see him starting to detach, even if you knew that wasn’t what he wanted.
After drinking the tea in slow sips, Leon fell back into the couch, holding himself with a tired frustration. You waited for him to turn and look as you before you brought an arm around his shoulders again, pulling his head to rest lightly against the side of your arm.
“Sorry,” Leon finally muttered, a little breathless. “I’m not being fair.”
“You get a free pass. I’m sorry if you felt alone when you woke up,” you pressed a kiss to his forehead. Leon’s breath faltered at that. You knew you hit the nail on the head.
“Six years working as an agent, and I’m taken out by this,” Leon chuckled, a sarcastic smile on his face. His breathing started to return to normal. It hopefully meant the nausea was finally subsiding.
“Sickness doesn't discriminate,” you joked. “If it means I can get you in one place for the day, I’m not complaining.”
You shift your back up against the couch’s arm, opening yourself up so Leon can rest his head on your chest, body straddled between your open arms and legs. When you rubbed a soothing line from his upper back and down to his stomach, you kept yourself from giggling as Leon’s noises of approval vibrated against your skin.
“…m’taking you out for dinner once this is over. G’tting you whatever y’want…” Leon barely got out of his mouth, eyes closed and body limp. Of course he wanted to take back control. You knew it made him feel less exposed after vulnerable situations. You’d let him have his way tomorrow when he felt less gross.
Leon pushed through so much. You felt grateful that he came to you this time to get through it.
“Live through this first,” you snorted, holding him close as he finally drifted off.
Your work lay untouched for the rest of the afternoon. For Leon, your paperwork could wait.
A/N: and that’s itttttttt. There needs to be more sicky Leon in this world. And also I’ll never get enough of big spoon reader x little spoon Leon. Like…..he’s been through enough I just wanna hold himmmmmm
And of course, send asks, reqs, headcanons my way if we’re living on the same wavelength!!!!
Its so hard to find Luis Serra fics and I read yours multiple times.
I was wondering if i could request a resident evil where Luis is alive and in the future helping Leon out in RE 9 but he gets distracted by his wife wearing his lab coat. Thanks
Thinking about Luis helping Leon find a cure for the T-Virus in RE9...
A/N: Hello, love! Thank you so, so much for requesting Luis. I love him so much, but no one ever seems to like him as much as Carlos or Leon. I actually have another two fics lined up for him. I've been dabbling in working on, hoping someone would show interest in content for him. If you have more requests for Luis, please send them in when requests reopen!
CW: 2k words, Established relationship between the reader and Luis (married), AU in which Luis survives RE4 and Leon get's him a job at the DSO, Luis is helping Leon find a cure for T-Virus, Takes place right before RE9 would take place, Spanish petnames galor (I'm not gonna list them all out we all know Luis goes crazy with that shit and I will always write him like that), Domestic fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF.
"Mi amor, you’re still awake?" Luis’s voice carries from the doorway, half-amused, half-concerned, as he toes off his shoes with a tired sigh. The lab coat draped over the couch arm catches his eye first, his spare one, the one he keeps by the door at home for emergencies, before he spots you, curled under it like a makeshift blanket, glasses askew on your nose, hair spilling over the cushions.
The apartment smells like overcooked pasta and faint citrus from the half-finished mojito abandoned on the coffee table. You’d promised yourself you’d stay up until he got home, but the clock on the wall reads 2:17 AM, and the documentary you’d put on for background noise had long since given way to static. Luis crosses the room in three strides, kneels beside the couch, and brushes his thumb over your cheekbone. "Dios, you’re gonna give me a heart attack one day," he coos fondly, but there’s no real scolding in it, just warmth.
You blink awake, disoriented, then light up like a firework the second your brain registers him. "Luis!" The name bursts out of you, giddy, as you fling your arms around his neck. He laughs, catching you, his stubble scratching your temple as he presses a kiss there, then another to the bridge of your nose, then your forehead, relentless. "You’re home, you’re home- how’s Leon? Did you- ?"
"Shh, shh," he soothes, but he’s grinning, cupping your face in his hands like you’re something precious. "Leon’s holding on. Stubborn bastard." His thumbs swipe under your glasses, wiping away sleep crust, and you wrinkle your nose at him. "But you- mi vida, mi estrella- you should’ve gone to bed."
My life, my light.
You don’t answer, too busy mapping the exhaustion on his face, the dark crescents under his eyes, the way his shoulders slump forward like gravity’s doubled. The lab coat slips off your shoulders as you sit up, and Luis’s gaze drops to it, then back to you, his smirk lazy but bright. "Stealing my clothes now, cariño? Should I be flattered or concerned?"
Sweetheart.
"Both," you mumble, fingers already plucking at the wrinkled fabric of his dress shirt. "You smell like antiseptic and coffee." His laugh is a rough, tired thing, but he leans into your touch when you push his hair back from his forehead. "When was the last time you ate? Actually ate, not just- " you gesture vaguely at the empty energy drink cans littering his lab reports on the kitchen counter "Energy drinks and ashy protein bars."
Luis opens his mouth, then closes it when you narrow your eyes. "...Lunch?" he tries, and you groan, shoving at his chest. He catches your wrist, presses a kiss to your palm. "Ay, don’t look at me like that. You know how it gets when we’re close to a breakthrough."
"You’re worse than Leon," you grumble, but you’re already swinging your legs off the couch, tugging him toward the kitchen. He follows, compliant, his fingers laced with yours. The fridge light paints his face in stark relief as you rummage for the Tupperware you’d packed hours ago, arroz con pollo, his favorite, now cold but still edible. Luis makes a noise behind you, something soft and wounded.
You’d wanted to surprise him.
"You made this?" Luis's voice cracks as he watches you pop the Tupperware into the microwave, his fingers tightening around yours. The hum of the appliance fills the silence between you, the faint scent of garlic and saffron beginning to seep into the air. His thumb traces circles over your knuckles, a silent thank you, a silent “I’m here” even if his body is still halfway to the lab in his head.
You don’t answer, just press a Gatorade into his other hand, the one not currently clinging to you, as if you might vanish. "Drink. Now, babe," you order, nudging the bottle toward his lips until he obeys, the corners of his mouth quirking up around the rim. The microwave beeps, and you turn to grab the food, but Luis catches your waist and spins you back toward him. His nose brushes yours, his breath warm and sweet from the drink. "Te quiero," he coos, the words soft against your lips before he kisses you properly, slow and lingering, like he’s memorizing the shape of your mouth all over again despite years of marriage.
I love you.
The first bite of food is a revelation. Luis moans, shameless, his eyes fluttering shut as he chews. "Dios, I forgot what real food tastes like," he mumbles around the fork, already reaching for another bite. You snort, stealing a piece of chicken from his container just to watch him pout. "You’re lucky I love you," you grumble, but there’s no heat in it, just the same fond exasperation that’s been there since the first time you dragged him out of his lab to eat proper food.
The kitchen is too small for two people, really, but neither of you moves. Luis eats like a man starved, and you lean against the counter beside him, your hip brushing his, your fingers carding through his thick, wavy hair just to feel him sigh into the touch. His free hand finds your thigh, thumb rubbing absent circles through the fabric of his stolen lab coat. "You’re gonna crash soon," you murmur when his eyelids start to droop, his head lolling toward your shoulder. "Bed?”
Luis shakes his head stubbornly, even as his body betrays him, his shoulders sagging forward, the fork wobbling slightly in his grip. "Can't," he mumbles around another mouthful of arroz con pollo. "Need to review the latest viral sequences before- " A yawn cracks his jaw mid-sentence, and you press your lips together to keep from giggling.
"Before you faceplant into your microscope?" you finish for him, plucking the fork from his slack fingers. He blinks at you, slow and owlish behind his smudged glasses. "Luis. You've been awake for thirty-six hours. That’s a new record, honey."
"Thirty-eight," he corrects automatically, then winces when you pinch his side. "Ay, okay, okay, yeah, bedtime." He lets you tug him upright, his arms looping around your waist as he stumbles into you. His nose bumps against your temple, his breath warm and uneven against your curls. "But you're coming with me," he murmurs, half-plea, half-command.
You don't argue. The bedroom is dark, the sheets cool when you tumble into them, and Luis collapses beside you with a groan. He's asleep before his head hits the pillow, his arm slung heavily across your stomach, his face smushed into the crook of your neck. You card your fingers through his hair, still slightly stiff with curl gel, and listen to his breathing even out.
The quiet settles over you both like a second blanket, broken only by Luis’s slow, even breaths against your collarbone. His fingers twitch against your hip, some residual instinct from surviving Spain, before stilling again. You press a kiss to the top of his head, his hair smelling faintly of disinfectant and his own stupidly expensive cologne. The clock on the nightstand reads 3:02 AM, but you’re wide awake now, your brain buzzing with the leftover energy of seeing him home safe.
____
Morning comes too soon. The sunlight filters through the curtains, painting stripes across Luis’s back as he stirs with a groan. He blinks up at you, bleary-eyed and disoriented, before his face crumples into something unbearably soft. “You stayed,” he rasps, his voice rough with sleep. His thumb brushes your cheek, like he’s checking you’re real. “Thought I dreamed you.”
You huff a laugh against his palm, your fingers curling around his wrist to keep him there. "Where else would I go, idiot? I’m your wife." The morning light catches the gold in his eyes, the exhaustion still lingering but softened by sleep. His stubble scratches your fingertips as you trace the line of his jaw, memorizing the way his breath hitches when your thumb brushes the corner of his mouth.
Luis exhales through his nose, a half-laugh, half-sigh that ruffles your bangs. His fingers trail down your arm, pausing to fiddle with the cuff of his stolen lab coat still draped over your shoulders. "You look ridiculous in this," he murmurs, but his voice is thick with something that makes your ribs ache. He tugs at the collar, pulling you closer until your foreheads bump. "Like some mad scientist's beautiful assistant."
"You are a mad scientist," you remind him, but he's already rolling you onto your back, his weight a comfortable anchor as he noses along your jaw. His stubble rasps against your skin, his breath hot where it ghosts over your pulse. "Luis- "
"Fuck the lab today," he growls against your throat, and the vehemence in his voice surprises you both. He freezes, then pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, his own wide and startled behind his crooked glasses. "I mean- not fuck it, obviously, but- " He huffs, frustrated, and collapses onto his elbows beside you, his forehead pressing into your shoulder. "Dios, I can't even insult my own workplace properly anymore."
You bite your lip to keep from laughing, but your shoulders shake anyway. Luis lifts his head just to glare at you, but there's no heat in it, just exhaustion and fondness and the lingering panic of a man who'd almost lost too much already. His fingers find yours on the mattress, threading together tightly. "I need this to work," he says quietly, his thumb pressing into the hollow of your palm. "For Leon. For everyone."
The admission hangs between you, raw and unguarded, the first time he’s said it out loud since Leon collapsed at the DSO three days ago. Luis’s fingers tremble against yours, and you squeeze back, hard enough to ground him. “I know,” you whisper, pressing your lips to his knuckles. The taste of antiseptic lingers on his skin. “But you can’t save him if you’re dead on your feet.”
Luis makes a noise low in his throat, half-protest, half-surrender, before rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling. The morning light catches the silver streaking his temples, the lines around his eyes deeper than they were a month ago. “I had the sequence right there, y’know?” he mutters, dragging a hand down his face. “But the viral load in his bloodstream, it’s adapting faster than we can…”
“Hey.” You straddle his hips, your knees bracketing his waist, and press your palms to his cheeks until he meets your gaze. His stubble rasps against your skin. “You’re the smartest person I know. If anyone can outthink this thing, it’s you.” His breath hitches when you lean down, your curls curtaining his face, and brush your nose against his. “But even geniuses need showers. And coffee. And maybe a break from smelling like a Petri dish.”
He huffs a laugh, his hands settling on your waist, thumbs rubbing absent circles through the fabric of his stolen lab coat. “You’re a menace, honey,” he murmurs, but he’s already tilting his chin up to catch your lips in a lazy kiss. His mouth is warm, still sleep-soft, and you can taste the lingering salt of last night’s arroz con pollo. God, you missed him.
c/w: 6k wc, wedding date trope, friends to (possible) lovers, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cheating, levi's smoothness has your brain short circuiting
Just as expected: you’re hating every second of it.
You love your family, you really do. Doesn’t matter how loud and overexcited and nosy they are, it’s always nice to take a few days off to travel back home. Sometimes it’s for birthdays, minor special occasions, surprise visits. Nothing was spontaneous about this specific occasion, though. Train tickets were bought months in advance, your dress picked facetiming your mom (she insisted), your arrival highly anticipated by aunts and uncles and cousins and old friends all coming together for the most significant event of the century: your little brother’s wedding.
To be absolutely honest, the day had a good start. Waking up at dawn didn’t bother you, not with the nutritious breakfast your mom had prepared and the excitement stirring behind your brother’s tense smile. The wedding was agreed to have a mix of traditional shinto-style (to please the bride’s family) and more laid back, western-style influences, something your family has always been accustomed to, given your dad’s roots.
The ceremony held at the shrine was emotional even for you. Hiromi looked gorgeous in her uchikake, gold threads and foil with motifs of waves and cranes standing out on a bright crimson base. You watched them drink the sake and exchange cups first, then vows and wedding rings. It was so hard to process than the man getting married was the same kid who once pooped himself in his crib at daycare and then proceeded to take off his diaper to play with the poop like it was play-doh. Sweet, sweet memories.
Everything started going downhill at the fancy hotel where the reception was set to be held.
The convention room is blinding in its beauty: white pillars, draping fabrics, pretty fairy lights and elegant floral arrangements compliment the venue and the minimalist but luxurious style your families decided to go with. You’re not foreign to wealth, your parents have worked hard to grant you and your sibling a comfortable life and you’re grateful for them. What you don’t like about your family, is how for your aunts and uncles and cousins, everything should constantly be tied to money and profit. Which is why they all turn up their noses when you reply to the dreaded “what’s your job again?” question. Which is why, at every family reunion, you’re forced to sit with your younger cousins and take part in the salary conversation (they could literally compare and brag for hours about raises and bonuses and working overtime and paid vacations). Which is why Aiko, already CEO of a join-stock company at her young age, had first introduced you to one of the employees from the financial department.
Floch Forster was certainly attractive, a real gentleman who’d take you out for fancy dinners, casual dates and fun rides on his flashy, red porsche cayenne. You liked him but your family had always liked him more, your brother going out for drinks with him, your dad inviting him over more and more frequently to watch baseball games or ask for help for the restoration of his old kawasaki ninja, a project he’d been working on for a while.
In the end, the relationship simply didn’t work out and you broke up with him in the most amicable way possible, the time spent together still worth cherishing. You were just too different from each other: his interests not matching yours, his friends way too stuck-up, his parents looking at you like you were some kind of gold digger.
But that’s when he became petty, cruel even, mocking your dreams, deriding your aspirations, sharp edged phrases and words thrown your way so harshly they still dance around your brain from time to time.
Are you surprised by his presence at your brother’s wedding? No. You knew he’d be invited, they’re still friends and you never really told your sibling how the separation actually went down. Is it shocking that he’s here with a pretty brunette anchored to his arm? Also no. He might be an asshole but he’s hot and rich, two qualities weighing pretty damn heavily on the bachelor scale. He’s also the main reason why you’d asked your painfully stoic, blasé friend to accompany you to the reception.
Yes, it was both a childish and desperate move, but you were willing to take drastic measures to save face before your very much extended very much elitist very much expectant family after the fatal phone call with your mom where you’d suddenly blurted out that you’d bring a special someone with you to the wedding.
Your love life (aka currently a big big void made of emotional unavailability & crippling loneliness) was yet another topic open to be attentively scrutinized by those around you. Normally you don’t mind, you really don’t, but just this one time you wanted it to be different. As much as you try not to let it get to you, the facts are that your younger brother is now married, your hot rich ex boyfriend has probably already proposed to his new girlfriend, you still haven’t been given the raise you were expecting and it plainly just sucks to be alone at weddings. It’s the fourth one you have attended on your own now and you can tell by your aunt’s sympathetic gaze and your cousins’ knowing giggles that you’re not gonna be able to push the he had to attend an emergency meeting with external partners lie any longer.
Frustration makes your stomach churn. Why couldn’t he have indulged you just this once?
“Oh, come on”
“No”
“Please!”
“Still no”
“I can beg”
“You’ve been begging for the past ten minutes”
“I can beg better?”
Levi’s resolute glare didn’t soften like it did on the rare occasions when he accommodated your requests.
“Why do you even need this?”
You heaved a deep sigh over his obstinacy, index finger lazily tracing the edge of the steaming cup in front of you. You’ve always been a coffee person but his is the only tea you’ll drink.
“D’you want the honest answer or the pathetic, moping one?”
He raised an eyebrow with a far too evident interest that had you rolling your eyes.
“Both”
“Well, if you must know, it’s because I’m a lame, lonely, disappointment of an adult who’s scared of facing her family’s overcritical comments and knowing glances at her younger sibling’s wedding” you paused to take a deep breath “that and the fact that I already lied and said I was gonna bring someone and my perfect ex everyone loves so much is gonna be there”
Levi slowly took a sip from his own cup, the classic bergamot flavor notes lingering with tantalizing velvety softness on his tongue.
“They both sound pathethic and moping to me”
You shrugged with a weak smile.
“They’re both honest, too”
“You’re gonna be fine” he pushed the little plate of shortbreads towards you.
“Did you hear the part about my perfect ex?” nevertheless, you accepted the cookie offer and, much to your friend’s horrified expression, dipped one into your tea prior to taking a bite.
“Give him my love” Levi ignores your frown and, more importantly, the annoyance he felt listening to you belittling yourself so blatantly.
“Okay” a defeated sigh leaves your lips as you take another cookie “not sure why I thought you’d get it”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Mouth still full, you gestured vaguely with your hands, tiny crumbs attached to your fingertips catching his attention for a split second before you speak again.
“Why would you? You’re a functioning adult. Should’ve asked someone as fucked up as me, maybe Reiner from the marketing department will—”
“A functioning adult?” Levi cut in, tone oozing with skepticism “that’s new. You usually refer to me as the clean freak with a stick up his ass”
“Which you are” your clarification is met with another glare “but you wouldn’t understand what being lame means”
“How so?” he challenged, eyes narrowed and some sort of weird warmth in the pit of his stomach he didn’t know how to shake off.
“You have your shit together, Levi. M’sure your family wouldn’t shoot sympathetic gazes your way if you showed up to your brother’s wedding on your own”
“I don’t have a brother”
“Not the point” you let out an obnoxious groan as you slightly pushed the empty cup away and dropped your head to rest on your overlapped arms, forehead pressing on the soft fabric of your sleeve. Levi sat still, grey eyes fixed on you.
“You’re not lame, idiot” no one else would’ve been able to tell that his tone had gone softer “I’m not dating anyone either and you still think I’m a functioning adult”
Exasperated, you turn your head so that your cheek is now pressed to your wrist as you glare at him.
“But that’s your choice. You don’t like anyone. While I had three of my coworkers come to my desk just to ask who the handsome dude passing by to bring me a homemade bento box was”
Half a smile dripping with smugness tugged at his lips, one that caused you to roll your eyes again.
“Don’t even” you warn, already gagging at the idea of him considering to visit you at work more often “forget I said anything. I’ll handle it”
As Levi inched across the table to flick your forehead and then got up to collect your cups, you had to quickly whisk away the thought of how much your family would have genuinely liked someone like him too.
On second thought, it’s not really fair to blame him. You might not be a greatly functioning one, but you’re still an adult. You can face something as trivial as the disappointment of multiple generations of your family, right? Either way, it would’ve felt wrong. It would’ve been awkward. Levi is stiff, way too cold, the opposite of cordial. He would hardly be credible as the good friend he actually is, let alone pass for a boyfriend. Has he ever even dated someone? You’re sure he has, given how weirdly popular he is. Yeah, there was one girl, what was her name again? Petra? Ugh, he hardly shares anything truly personal with you anyway. Sure, you can guess he’s a good partner. Handsome, kind, talented enough to cook killer meals, maybe even good in bed. It just wouldn’t hurt him to be a little more… amicable. But maybe that’s what women find attractive? The fact that he’s like this weird, interesting secret thing to continuously discover and unwrap until it suddenly turns into the perfect, passionate lover any woman wants to end up with?
The champagne you’re downing at the hotel bar is proving to be a wonderful ally, although your mind currently seems to be wandering a little. Or it was, at least until a familiar, awfully close and quite frankly unsettling voice causes a harsh return to the pathetic reality you’re trying to escape.
“Drowning your sorrows in alcohol? You haven’t changed at all” the venomous smile on his face is so painfully familiar it has your insides twisting right away.
“I’m really not in the mood, leave me alone” you mutter, not even sparing him a glance as you stubbornly focus on the golden bubbles popping in your freshly filled flute.
But Floch takes a seat right next to you and elegantly orders two martinis.
“Shaken, not stirred” he adds, to live up to yet another clichè. You can hardly suppress a snort.
“I would argue you already are. Alone, I mean” the rhythmic drumming of his fingers on the mahogany counter distracts you for a few seconds. When your gaze finally meets his, the fake sympathy glistening mischievously in his amber eyes almost has you barfing on the spot.
“Where’s your trophy wife? Is she even legal?”
Unperturbed, Floch smiles sweetly at you.
“She reminds you of yourself, doesn’t she? A young dove in need of rescue, held captive by the wrong guy” he inches closer, smile growing wider “but she’s nothing like you. You’re too exhausting to love, no one in their right mind would choose that”
And just like that, memories that cut as deep as razors make their way back to you right then and there.
If you really want to lose weight you shouldn’t eat the free bread at restaurants.
I feel like you’re faking this just to make me feel guilty.
You’re not that attractive anymore, you know that?
I’m sorry you feel that way.
Could’ve done so much better than you all this time.
Now I don’t feel so bad about having cheated.
The flute in your hand might very well shatter from how tightly you’re holding it, knuckles white as two drinks gracefully slide in front of you. This is exactly what you wanted to avoid, not him entirely but letting him know that he can still get under your skin.
“Fuck you” in a final, desperate attempt at playing off your discomfort as indifference, you hold him level in your gaze, a boldness so weak it has him chuckling.
“Am I interrupting something?”
You both turn to your right, the shock laced into your features comical enough to be met with a patient, slight smile.
Levi looks nothing less than dashing in his black suit, hands buried in the pockets of pants you wouldn’t even think he’d own. Since you’re pretty sure the alcohol has you hallucinating at this point, you open your mouth to voice your surprise, Floch’s presence long forgotten and filed away at the back of your mind. But right before you can sabotage yourself with dumb, unnecessary inquiries, Levi takes a step forward and with one, swift motion, cradles your cheek in his hand to gently press his lips to your forehead.
“Sorry I’m late” he murmurs, fighting back another smile before the dumbstruck way you keep looking at him.
“We haven’t met” Levi’s eyes follow the voice and flicker to the person sitting next to you. That’s when you snap back to reality once again. Goddamn, maybe the champagne wasn’t that good of an ally after all.
“We haven’t” he replies and Floch introduces himself, offering a hand that never gets shaken. Levi gives him a nod instead, a silvery gaze cold as steel you’ve never seen him direct to anyone. Perhaps that’s why it makes you shiver.
“Should we go? I’d like to meet your parents” his voice is kind as he looks at you again and you accept the support of his hand to hop down from the barstool. He doesn’t let go as he guides you away from the hotel bar and lightly squeezes your hand even if it’s cold and clammy.
“How are you here? When… why?” you whisper, still unable to shake off the shock of his sudden, unexpected presence.
“Stop asking dumb questions and play your part”
That’s more like it, you think. Thank god for the infuriating, irritating tone and impatient glare. Their familiarity will certainly be enough to ground you despite the warmth you can still feel on your forehead, right where his lips were pressed a few seconds earlier.
But then he looks at you again, head slightly tilted to the side, eyes slowly taking in your figure so blatantly, in a way so uncommon for him, it has the same warmth from before exploding in your chest as well.
“You look very nice, by the way”
Fuck being grounded, apparently.
The champagne is no longer buzzing in your veins but it might as well be since your mind feels all over the place and you haven’t had a single second to collect your thoughts. Not in the middle of so many introductions, your mother’s obnoxious questions, your very much tipsy aunt’s inappropriate jokes, the microphone you had to approach and the speech you had to give in front of hundreds of people, one of them always focused on you with such intensity you won’t have to rewatch the videotape at family reunions to know that words came out ungraceful and wrong.
To be honest, the most unsettling thing is how smoothly the whole thing is going. It’s not weird, it’s definitely not awkward and he seems to be in complete control. Staggered, you’re left watching with wonder floating in incredulous eyes, a Levi you don’t think you’ve ever met before. It’s so effortless, the way he speaks to people he’s never met before and manages to come off as interesting, witty, charming. He’s smiling, he’s even respectfully offering elegant chuckles to uncomfortably personal questions and stories you just know he doesn’t actually think are funny.
As you dine at the table filled with curious old friends and noisy cousins, for the first time able to stay silent as all the attention is directed towards someone other than yourself, a weird thought crosses your mind. Levi, your friend Levi, fits so well. He’s perfectly at ease around chatty strangers, bold roses, tea lights and candles in clear metallic holders. How’s that even possible? The Levi you know, your Levi, curses under his breath if his usual barista tries to make small talk. He grunts if the cashier at the cinema chirps an overly excited hope you enjoy the movie, sir. You literally know he’s once replied to one of his clients’ email with please stop hoping your email finds me well, it never does.
So who’s the person sitting next to you, warm knee flush against yours underneath the table, features relaxed, pink tinted cheeks, courtesy of the cabernet sauvignon you’ve been served? It has your head spinning, the thought of him enduring a 4-hour train trip (he hates trains) to reach a town he’s never been to (he hates Kobe and its humid, subtropical climate) to attend a wedding (he hates social gatherings) as your date. What had him changing his mind? When did he change it? How is he so good at coming off as this bundle of… of… confidence and magnetism and graciousness?
He’s been impeccable so far, going as far as to bring a shugi-bukuro envelope with 50.000 JPY inside as a wedding gift.
Isn’t that what they’d expect from the groom’s sister’s partner?
Clearly, you have every intention of giving him that money back. As soon as you recover from the sudden and absolutely unexplainable embarrassment you feel every time his eyes flicker to you during a conversation or the shudder that runs down your spine when his hand gently presses on the small of your back to guide you from one table to the other, as different family members and friends of yours excitedly motion you to approach them.
It doesn’t have anything to do with him specifically, you tell yourself. It’s just the shame you must be feeling at carrying out such a pathetic act in front of everyone, it’s the awkwardness of having forced one of your closest friends to go out of his way to support your stupid, childish plan that now has you feeling all weird and vulnerable. Levi is not being his usual self and that makes you uncomfortable because you’re not allowed to be your usual self in turn. No sarcastic remarks, no witty comebacks, not a drop of the usual teasing you enjoy annoying him with.
It’s not him, it’s the whole setting. That’s what you tell yourself when Levi asks you to dance.
“Why?” you come off as defensive and he furrows his brows, confused.
“Because it’s what couples do at weddings?”
“We don’t have to” you’re not sure what you’re doing at this point “you can’t even dance”
He huffs at that, inching a little closer to casually lift the strap of your cocktail dress, cool fingertips barely brushing the skin of your arm as they guide the thin length of fabric up to your shoulder. The simple, intimate gesture stirs something in you.
“Are you coming or not? He’s watching”
You follow his gaze and meet Floch’s, three tables to the left. At this point the thought of him seems so worthless, so distant in time, you don’t even care about his judgmental glare anymore. But you don’t have the chance to make that clear, because your date whispers a soft “come on” so close to your ear his voice seems to trickle down your spine just to make you shiver and then offers his arm as an invitation for you to get up.
Regular you would’ve mocked the gesture, called him a victorian ghost or something. Current you, on the other hand? Apparently she’s accepting the support of his arm and can barely register Aiko’s excited squeal as she follows him all the way to the different couples already filling up the middle of the convention room, too disoriented to even remember she is the one who can’t dance. Still, the upbeat rhythm of the song being played is familiar enough to give you a false sense of security: you can wing it. Until you can’t. Because right as you position yourself in front of your friend with a tense smile, the familiar beat is abruptly taken from you. The music doesn’t stop, it just has the audacity to change into an excessively romantic, exceptionally slow, sappy track.
But Levi doesn’t look as dazed as you. He doesn’t waver as he pulls you close with one swift motion, right hand warm on your back while you barely have the time to balance yourself, fingers tightening around the fabric of his jacket, right above the shoulder.
“You’re being weird” he clasps your other hand, one eyebrow raised in that overcritical way of his.
“You’re being weird” you parrot back.
“What d’you mea—fuck” he curses as quietly as possible when you stomp on his foot, looking down for the first time to notice how weirdly and out of step you’re actually moving.
“Shit, sorry!” you, on the other hand, are not as quiet and attract the unwanted attention of the couple dancing nearby.
“What exactly are you doing?” Levi’s tone is familiarly mocking, which takes some of the weird awkwardness away.
“I’m not really good at this, okay?” you retort, praying your harsh reply remains private this time. Amused, he hums.
“No way”
“Shut up” you whine and accidentally step on his expensive leather shoe again, hard enough to make him hiss.
“Just follow my lead” Levi gives your left hand an impatient squeeze and you scoff with a theatrical ugh.
“Sexist”
He rolls his eyes but says nothing because you comply and honestly try to keep track of how he’s moving, intensely focused on not trampling on his foot again.
“Hey” his voice is dangerously soft once again “eyes on me”
Reluctantly, you look up from your feet and take a deep breath.
“Why are you this tense?”
“M’not a good dancer” you blurt the words out, as if to convince yourself. He’s noticed, of course he’s noticed. Idiot.
“Okay” Levi stops for a moment and gently grabs your wrists to guide your arms around his neck. He then positions his hands on your hips and applies the slightest pressure to guide your movements. “Better?” he asks and you know he’s just wondering if this is easier for you, but the dryness of your throat seems to be taking over your ability to speak. You resort to a simple nod as he sways to the beat, feet barely lifting while stepping from side to side. You get accustomed to the movement after a while and manage to move your body slowly back and forth, the comfort of not feeling like a wooden block allowing you to relax a little.
“How are you so good at this?” it almost sounds like you’re accusing him, must be why he cracks a smile.
“Took a few classes with Hange, they were obsessed and had no one else to go with”
You’re finally able to let out a genuine, incredulous laugh.
“I’m sorry, what? So you just joined? Goodness of your heart?”
Levi shrugs.
“They had to buy me lunch for a month. Totally worth it”
There’s mirth glistening in his eyes when the pressure of his hands changes slightly, the left one tightening on your waist to subtly guide you in the opposite direction. Has he danced like this with Hange as well? If yes, did they feel as flustered and ridiculous as you’re feeling? Probably not, because they’re friends and friends should not experience the weird body reactions you seem to be having at the moment, goosebumps blossoming underneath his fingertips, the staccato of your heartbeat, blood wooshing in your ears. Fuck.
“Tense again” his eyes are narrowed now, but not in his usual, threatening way. He’s studying you, looking for something he can’t seem to pinpoint amidst your dazed expression and sweaty hand. He would’ve been grossed out by anybody else’s palm but this is you, so Levi can’t really bring himself to give a shit.
“I’m sorry” you murmur and the sudden, sheepish route catches him off guard. You’re avoiding his gaze, eyes focused on something, somewhere over his shoulder.
“For what?”
“This whole charade” you whisper the last word, head hanging low just an excuse not to look at him “I’m so pathetic you felt bad enough to drop all your plans, come all the way here, be perfect and nice to everyone, spend so much money and I can’t even dance…” you sniffle, horrified by the sensation of being on the verge of bursting into tears in the middle of the dance floor.
Levi is silent long enough to prompt you to timidly look up from your shoes again. You’re worried he’s gonna be mad because what the hell, this is what you wanted. You asked him to do this for you and now it’s too late to whine about how sorry you are. But he doesn’t look mad. His features are unreadable as you return his gaze, which stirs a whole new kind of nervousness in you.
“I’m going to twirl you” the gentle warning takes you by surprise as Levi takes your hand from behind his neck, steps back a little and lifts your arm above your head. A bit stiffly, you turn around under it.
“Again” he prompts, arm already guiding you through another twirl. You comply, so clumsily a chuckle slips past your lips and Levi cracks another smile as you balance yourself against him, arms around his neck once again.
“See? You can dance” he mutters with a tone so soft it makes your heart squeeze.
“Please” you scoff, voice still a little broken that just won’t. Do.
Levi hums to himself, like he does whenever he’s trying to come to a decision.
“Let’s dip”
Your eyes comically grow in size.
“Let’s not?”
“I’ll do all the work” he playfully gives your hip a light squeeze to emphasize his words “you just have to let go”
“I’m not exactly good at letting go” you hope he can sense the warning in your tone but all you get is another eye roll.
“Yeah, I noticed” his tone, unlike yours, is weirdly serious “d’you trust me?”
Oh, well, putting it that way surely isn’t fair.
“Unfortunately, you’ve given me a reason or two to do that” you heave another sigh, defeated. Another smile tugs at his lips.
“I’m gonna do it slowly” he reaches behind his neck to grab your hand again, while his fingertips rise from your hip to your upper back.
“Twirl” Levi gently spins you again and his touch is featherlike when it glides down your side, grazes your stomach and settles on your lower back as you turn around, warm palm pressing firmly against it. The hand holding yours anchors your arm around his neck, then finds place on the nape of yours.
“Now, relax” it’s barely a whisper, so close you can’t hold back a shudder he pretends not to notice.
You soften your knees and then, with a movement so swift and natural, you’re turned to the side and pressed flush against him for a second, nestled in his embrace before you shut your eyes and Levi gently dips you, one of his strong arms secured around your waist to support your weight, the hand sustaining your neck tightening around your hair for a moment so brief you think you’ve imagined it.
He pauses as if you weigh nothing, then slowly brings you up again and you open your eyes, brows furrowing right as he lets completely go of you and the warmth of his arms is taken away so abruptly.
“You okay?” you didn’t think you’d be the one asking the question but something seems to be bothering him as he returns your confused gaze.
“Yeah. Can we take a break?” still weirdly well mannered, you find yourself thinking as you agree to make your way to your table again. Only he stops you right before you can take a seat next to Aiko, who’s blatantly gushing over you’re not sure what, precisely. Is it him? Or the weird dance that had you looking like a complete fool in front of everyone?
“How long before the cake?” he politely asks your cousin and she shrugs, not even attempting to hide the wide grin stretching her lips.
“Maybe around ten minutes”
“Permission to steal the groom’s sister for around ten minutes?”
Aiko’s chuckle isn’t enough to distract you from the tightening of your chest, something not entirely unpleasant swarming around in your stomach when he slips his fingers in between yours.
“Permission granted” she winks and you still, for the life of you, cannot understand why your heart flutters as you follow him outside the room, away from the party and the music and the chatter and all those happy, proud glances you’re no longer able to return because of how embarrassed you are by your own lie.
“Where are we going?” you bring yourself to ask, finding it exceptionally odd that he’s waiting for the elevator.
“My room”
“What? Why?”
Levi turns his head to look at you, eyebrows furrowing at your strangled tone.
“I forgot the wedding gift on the nightstand”
“Oh” you let out a nervous chuckle “right. And why d’you need me for that?”
“You look like you’re about to throw up, thought you could use a few minutes away from the crowd”
Well, he’s not wrong. But that doesn’t mean he gets to know.
“Dunno what you’re talking about” you flash him a fake smile and he skeptically hums as the doors open and you step inside.
Of course his room is located at the top floor of the building, where all the suites are. One thing about Levi is that he likes treating himself: whether it’s shopping from brands that produce top quality loose leaf teas, selecting premium suiting fabrics or always ordering the most expensive red wine at a restaurant, his taste is impeccable. He travels first class and only stays at 5-star hotels, so you really shouldn’t feel the guilt pangs stinging like needles in your throat when he swipes the key card through the magnetic reader and swings the door open. You shouldn’t feel so bad while taking in the king size bed, the LCD tv, the additional area with armchairs and a whole sofa, the private balcony. But you do. And when he turns to look at you, still standing by the door with a heartbreaking, bashful expression taking over your features, Levi clenches his jaw.
“What are you doing?” you ask as you watch him slide the balcony glass door.
“So many questions” he prompts you to precede him with a slight tilt of his head.
“What about the gift?”
Levi hates seeing you so defensive, so upset. He’s not used to that weird self-consciousness, not when you’re with him at least. Didn’t he come to obtain the exact opposite of what he’s getting? Isn’t he here to shield you from embarrassment, uneasiness? Why are you persisting in your stubborn shame?
“I get around ten minutes, remember?” he attempts a smile your tense features choose not to mirror. You sigh softly instead and, still uncertain, accept his invitation.
Outside the air is cool, a balm for your feverish skin. The balcony furniture includes two wooden armchairs, one small coffee table and a small couch. You plop down on the latter, not even having the energy to properly appreciate the beauty of a sparkly Kobe right at your feet, silhouettes of skyscrapers standing out against the night sky, the flickering lights of the harbor shining in the distance, tower so familiar you’d recognize it from a mile away. It’s home.
“So” Levi makes himself comfortable next to you, the breeze gently combing his hair back “wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
Plenty is wrong, the most urgent matter being the overpowering attraction you’re feeling for one of your closest friends. It’s fine, no use lying to yourself any longer. Maybe it’s always been there, underneath all the teasing and the jokes and his rare smiles that always felt like small victories you got to collect and preserve in your memory at the end of each day, when you’d often replay the hours spent together as pretty movie frames in your mind right before drifing off to sleep. But it’s easy, playing weird feelings off as regular familiarity that comes with friendship. You just didn’t think this night would make things feel so different, so good.
He’d be a great actual date, a wonderful actual boyfriend too, probably. He’s already a wonderful, actual friend. One that dropped everything to rush to the rescue of annoying, silly you, seemingly an adult but really a scared excuse of a grown up who can’t confront her family on a matter as trivial as not being in a relationship. It’s mortifying, really. You wouldn’t think it’d feel that humiliating, especially not in his presence.
Slender fingers delicately close on the fist you don’t realize you’re clenching. They’re warm as they try to make their way underneath yours, a silent plea for you to let go of the fabric clutched in your hand.
“I already told you” your hand lets go at last and slips easily from underneath his touch, the silk of your carefully picked cocktail dress wrinkled already.
“You feel guilty about me dropping all my plans, coming all the way here, beng perfect and nice to everyone, spending so much money…” he’s being playful but the teasing doesn’t elicit the eye roll or chuckle he was hoping he’d get. Your head just hangs lower, chin almost pressing to your chest, as if you’re trying to curl into yourself.
“About that, you’re gonna accept a complete refund. Train tickets, this room, wedding gift, everyth—”
Levi cuts you off by grabbing your jaw and turning your head towards him, eyes narrowed in a familiarly impatient gaze. He can’t believe the nonsense you’re sputtering out, the weird formality of it all.
“Stop that” his voice vibrates with determination and words are forced to die in your throat as he inches closer, grip loosening ever so slightly “you keep looking at things and seeing the opposite of what they are”
“So what, you didn’t spend a fortune to be here?” you challenge and he sighs, as done as a person can humanly be.
He lets go of your jaw but you don’t pull back.
“You asked me to be here”
“And I’m trying to apologize for it!”
God, you’re wearing him out.
You get up from the couch and, out of frustration, rest your back against the railing, palms behind you pressed on the cold, metal edge. Levi is looking at you so intensely you’re tempted to turn around and just take the view in to calm yourself because this is going downhill enough to become a fight and fights with Levi are never pretty. You should know.
“Remember the reasons you put forward to try and convince me to come?” his calm tone is such a sharp contrast to his hardened features, it takes you by surprise.
“Pretty sure I called myself lame and pathetic quite a few times” you shoot him a frown.
“Yeah” he gets up as well “then I end up actually getting here and guess what I found?”
You let out a dry laugh, one with not an ounce of humor embedded in it.
“A version of me worse enough to be brought in your room to hide?”
Two well measured steps and Levi is in front of you right as you cross your arms in defense.
“The version of you I already know” he retorts, exasperated “beautiful, intelligent, clumsy. A functional adult with a family that loves her very much”
“You’re drunk” you breathe out but it’s yours the head that’s spinning. Somehow, Levi knows. At least that’s what you guess when he steps closer, arms effectivey caging you against the railing as he slightly leans forward.
“Hardly” he mutters, pensive, and you swear his eyes flicker to your lips for a second “you don’t see things for what they are. I didn’t see a perfect ex, just a self entitled asshole. Didn’t meet hypercritical family members, just old-school people who are unyielding in their affection for you. I could’ve stayed home, honestly, you seem to be bothered by me the most”
“I’m not bothered by you, don’t be fucking stupid” you blurt out, saliva levels down to zero at this point. What is he even doing? Why is he so close, why does he smell so nice and where the fuck is that wedding gift?
“Ah, there she is” Levi offers a soft smile “had me missing her all night”
He then moves a strand of hair away from your forehead and the pads of his fingers linger on your temple, then barely graze your skin as they travel all the way down to your cheek and along your jaw.
You’re unfamiliar with this version of him. It’s a version that compliments the one that’s met your family and friends, the wedding date you’ve been lucky enough to score. This version knocks the wind out of your lungs and has your knees weak.
But then something happens, the snap of invisible fingers and, just like that, the magic wears out. Your skin is left burning and his arms set you free as he takes a step back and shoves his hands in his pockets.
“I had a good time so enough with your guilt-ridden bullshit”
You’re barely able to catch your breath, still dizzy from the change of the overall mood. Perhaps he’s right and you’re the drunk, hallucinating one.
Levi slides the balcony door again but goes back inside first this time, leaving you little to no time to pull yourself together or calm the pounding of your heart. He collects no envelope from the nightstand before you both leave the room, a burning sensation churning in your stomach as you follow him down the hallway, feeling utterly boneless when you stop in front of the elevator. Maybe that Petra girl did have a point.
“There’s still one thing you probably haven’t noticed about me” right as a ding echoes in the empty hallway he turns his head to look at you, standing a few feet behind “I’m a terrible fucking liar. Wouldn’t convince anyone if I tried”
