by the grace of the empire

@0raculums-blog

Or some similar obligatory nonsense. I am the first and only Helmseer of Her Imperious Fleet, and I had to argue very prettily for permission to pursue a hobby in blog curation. Please note that this blog and its contents are under constant surveillance and may be subject to modification by imperial censors. [README]

34 posts

Posts

I don’t know what a human infant name is called before humans receive our titles (I remember “Doctor” and “Mister”), but I know what I’m calling it now.

#Screaming human infant designation.

Screaming helpless infant designation.

Mammalian live birth name? Eugh.

I don’t remember my hatchname, for instance.

a1ntnorest replied to your post:There are humans all over this site. It’s like...

chr1stmas?

Yes! Thank you. It’s been. A long time. I don’t think humans live as long as I do, so I’m beginning to forget my early life.

#a1ntnorest #reply

There are humans all over this site. It’s like Human Perigree’s Eve, or whatever it was called.

#Candlemist? Choremass. I don't remember.

This might as well go here. The Imperial Court is submerged in a water-like substance. I have to wear an armored wetsuit and an air tank. The helmet is also for my protection.

After assassination attempt number two, they stopped taking chances.

((art commissioned from tumblr user waywardking!))

When will my helmet stop ruining my hair for the rest of the day?

#I run around with constant helmet hair/bedhead.

[REQUEST RECEIVED. PERMISSION GRANTED. TALES OF THE EMPIRE HAVE BEEN DEEMED ACCEPTABLE.

DON’T FUCK IT UP, HELMSEER.]

I am going to look into getting official permission to tell the story of Earth’s subjugation. Perhaps an edifying angle, an example of how things can go when there is not large-scale resistance? An ode to the might of the Empire? Hm.

Regardless, I’m going to the helmsblock to dream victories for a while. Later.

It’s nice to know that humans exist in other universes, though. I’m not sure if there are any left in mine. It’s been an uncertain time since I left Earth, but it feels very long.

I need to go make a few very useful prophecies and get the chess privilege back, at least. I’m the only one who sees him besides the Empress, and fuck her.

The mess hall mutiny was glorious, though. We had the entire First Imperial Flagship incommunicado for an hour. The Empress nearly had to flee her own ship.

#And then a lot of people died. That is not an activity I will be engaging in again.#murder /#death /

Let the record show that I am very sorry, interaction with another human drove me briefly space-mad.

#Or something.

[IMPERIAL JUDGEMENT REPORT

PRIVILEGE OF CHESS WITH HELMSMAN: REVOKED! ASSOCIATING WITH LOWBLOODS IN MESS HALL: REVOKED! LEAVING QUARTERS: REVOKED!

HELMSEER, YOU WILL NOT REGAIN THESE PRIVILEGES UNTIL IT IS CERTAIN THAT YOU WILL NOT CAUSE ANOTHER MUTINY.]

[WE ARE ABLE TO SEE YOU ON A LIVE FEED. THE RUDE GESTURES ARE NOT HELPING YOUR CASE.]

[COMPLAINT LODGED.]

#!RUDE CONTENT CENSORED!

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