Archer

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i can feel my legs getting heavier every day

my head more unbalanced

my ribcage more frail

my heart slowing down

i can feel my body giving up

i can feel myself giving up.

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and so every night i take a shot of apple cider vinegar and lemon juice, drink a chamomile and peppermint tea, and take two extra-strength acetaminophen and two extra-strength ibuprofen. i wash it down with half of a stale vodka-diet iced tea. i dissolve twenty miligrams of melatonin under my tongue. i crawl into bed fighting light-headedness and a blaring migrain at 10:30pm, and finally manage to dissociate enough to fall asleep at 1am. in the morning i'll drink the same bland protein smoothie i've had every day for the past month, and walk to the same creek and back. i'll take too much caffeine and put too much effort into a workout. its been too many days since my last rest day. i'll eat the same yogurt and granola, and spend the next 6 hours panicking about dinner and my calorie count for the day. I'll allow myself to eat dinner, but spend too much time in the shower that night. and i'll repeat this.

just trying to shed a few extra pounds.

just trying to get to the lowest end of the normal BMI range.

i dont think i can be loved unless im skinny. because i cant love myself if im not.

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oof my teacher talks so slow

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i have this really funny idea that ill only ever be respected if im dead

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oh its so bad rn damn

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wait guys i totally forgot i stole some chains from a haunted house (accidentally) and i hung them up in my room tell me why i like it

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the juvenile urge to start playong fortnite again

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okay so maybe it IS a little fucked up that i kin jd

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hes moving, and im upset

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i keep finding pressed leaves and flowers and flower petals in my room

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the way that I'd rather die rhan acknowledge my eating habits>>>

♡♡

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I'm not afraid to die, I'm afraid I'll like it

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getting drunk alone at midnight is actually a coping mechanism shana

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im always borrowing what i cant return

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chandelier by will paquin

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oohhho ho ho its getting bad again

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almost k worded myself tonight♡♡ needless to say, drug addiction is the way to go