10-lanterns-and-a-dreamcatcher

superheroes and fan fiction is slowly taking over my life

[aethirios]

What if, Peter glitches like 'Into the Spider verse' and he is actively dying/decaying in a molecular level and the only thing that is keeping him intact is Venom? (Like the current situation with MJ in the comics)

Ahh the potential. Here is a crack idea:

I can just imagine Peter and Venom kinda coming to a truce very begrudgingly. Venom wants to eat 'bad humans' and Peter having to reign it back cause hello? This is Gotham? And everyone is a candidate for that.

And maybe Peter passes out for a bit (exhaustion cause of a previous fight maybe?), and Venom decides they need food and completely takes over in full on Venom glory (cause Peter had stated no Spider-manning without scouting out the situation first and Venom can listen....sometimes)

That's how the bats find themselves surrounding a huge black monster with sharp teeth and a nightmarish long tongue and I imagine it going something like:

Dick: Easy there, big guy.

Jason: What the actual hell is that? Can we just start shooting already?

Venom: WE ARE VENOM.

Steph: Oh, great. It talks. Hey, ugly! What do you want?

Venom: NOT UGLY!

Steph: Wow. Sensitive.

Venom: WE ARE HUNGRY!

Tim: Hungry for what?

Venom: BAD HUMAN!

Dick: What does that even- yeah, nope. We're fighting that thing. Apprehend and then ask questions.

Jason: Finally. *Aims gun*

Steph: *sarcastically* You sure we can't get you something else, big guy? Really committed to the whole horror-monster aesthetic, huh?

Venom pauses.

Venom: ...CHOCOLATE.

Tim: Uh.

Jason: What?

Dick: Come again?

Venom: GIVE US CHOCOLATE!

A long silence follows.

Jason lowers his gun slightly.

Jason: Are we seriously negotiating snack preferences with the eldritch nightmare over there???

Dick: Apparently.

Venom: WE CAN SMELL CHOCOLATE.

Steph: You've got to be kidding me.

Venom: GIVE IT!

Tim: The fuck?

And so the bats watch this thing eat their whole stash of chocolates and transform into an ordinary looking guy.

And Peter opens his eyes to like 4 vigilantes staring down at him with very weird expressions.

[magnifyingdragon]

Now that brand new day is out I better see adult Peter in Gotham fics. I just want one fic where he’s not a teenager in Gotham struggling.

[magnifyingdragon]

I love Peter Parker in Gotham as much as everyone but I have a love hate relationship with fics that make Dick Peter’s dad, especially if dick tries parenting him. Like sir you’re in your mid twenties and this kid is fourteen and technically you’re not really his dad since he’s from another dimension.

[magnifyingdragon]

Now that brand new day is out I better see adult Peter in Gotham fics. I just want one fic where he’s not a teenager in Gotham struggling.

[aethirios]

Peter trying to open up to the Batfamily while hiding that he is Spider-Man by saying increasingly incriminating shit like:

______

“I mean,” Peter said with a shrug, “I used to sell pictures of myself for money. Maybe I should do it again.”

Tim nearly choked on his drink.

Steph blinked. “...What kind of pictures?”

Peter snorted. “The kind people paid stupid amounts for if I got caught in the middle of things.”

Duke’s eyes widened in horror.

Peter kept going, blissfully unaware.

“I mean, it wasn’t THAT bad. My... uh... sponsor made sure I was taken care of.”

Tim stared. “Your… sponsor.”

“Yeah,” Peter said casually. “Found me when I was fourteen.”

Dick’s voice exploded through the still-active phone call Tim had forgotten to hang up.

“WHAT.”

“Honestly, he kinda ghosted me after he was done with me though.”

Steph made a strangled noise somewhere between sympathy and fury.

Duke looked physically ill.

“To be fair,” Peter continued, “I DID crash his—”

He stopped.

“...Uh. I mean, I was involved in a plane crash. Uh. His plane.” Peter rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “He felt bad afterward and offered me a deal which i turned down?”

“What kind of deal?” Duke whispered.

Peter froze for a second too long before replying, “...An internship?”

Nobody believed him.

Not even remotely.

“After he died I spiraled a little,” Peter continued quietly. “Trusted the wrong guy.”

Tim’s stomach dropped.

Peter rubbed at his face tiredly.

“And then he uploaded a video of me to the internet.”

Jason’s voice immediately cut through Dick’s phone speaker, where he had been listening in on.

“HE WHAT?”

Steph slapped both hands over her mouth.

Duke looked ready to commit murder.

Tim had gone eerily still in the way Bruce usually did.

Peter noticed the silence and finally started looking uncertain.

Determining he should probably just finish the story, he continued, “I tried to fix it, but I screwed everything up and lost everyone.”

The room fell into horrified silence.

Peter looked around. Realized far too late that he had completely obliterated the mood. And promptly panicked.

“ANYWAY,” he announced way too loudly, “I’m broke again. Maybe I should start selling pics again, hahaha—”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT,” Duke said instantly.

“No,” Tim agreed immediately.

Somewhere on the other end of the line, Dick had gone suspiciously quiet with a darkened expression over his face that spelt trouble for the people that hurt his family, and Jason didn't feel like stopping him anytime soon.

And Peter....

Well, let's just say, maybe it might have been better for him if they found out he was Spider-Man.

[sizvideos]

This campaign defies censorship in social media to raise awareness for early detection of breast cancer

[iamanemotionaltimebomb]

this is actually super fucking smartass of them

[snake-lady]

Reblogging as this is so important everyone! My mum had breast cancer and that shit is not nice so please check yourself ladies and gents! 💕💕💕

[tkthegoddess]

Always a reblog. 💋

[lyra-invisa]

I will forever reblog this when I see it because its so important

[antarcticconfessions-deactivate]

I love how it doesn't matter what expedition it is.

They all turn into excited kids when they meet penguins.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

The Penguin: GIANTS! no way! I’m gonna wave at them THEY WAVED BACK! Holy Shit they’re dancing with me! My Wife is never gonna believe this OMG I got to dance with a Giant today so cool.

The Humans: Penguin! No way! I’m gonna wave at it IT WAVED BACK! Holy Shit it’s flapping with me! I got to play with a Penguin today; so cool.

[number1wifemisser]

where's the joy and whimsy guy? Have they found this one yet?

[redmegarex]

@joy-and-whimsy-official

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

Who am I to deny a penguin some joy and whimsy 🐧

[gl00mt0mb]

Spider Shenanigans Part 2

Peter Parker’s ability to lie is completely unhinged and honestly contradicting

You’d think as New York’s mascot when it comes to vigilantism the guy would be able to keep a lid on secrets but it depends completely on the circumstances.

He’s one of those people who gets confused when called a lair. Because he didn’t lie? He just didn’t tell the truth. Nobody’s entitled to every aspect of his life? if they wanted him to tell them the that little detail then they should have asked? He also doesn’t get mad when people lie to him. Like obviously he understands what a betrayal of trust is but he truly believes there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie or two as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else.

The only difference is that his definition of a “little lie” is completely warped compared to others his age due to his extracurricular activities, also know as getting the shit beat out of him by megalomaniac supervillains every week. While his classmates are lying about cheating on exams and people, Peter’s lying about the giant red stain on the carpet and why he needs ANOTHER backpack.

Peter has the teenager compulsion to lie to authority figures about anything and everything. This is regardless if he has any actual reason to lie. Peter WILL with a straight face look at you dead in the eye and tell you nothing but fibs and falsehoods.

An officer wants to know why he’s out after curfew? Don’t worry about it? His name? Parker, mhm that’s his real name. That curfew wasn’t state mandated only strongly suggested by the NYPD? He can walk alone in alleyways at 2 in the morning if he wants too! there’s no law against takeing a stroll? Has anyone trespassed him? Has anyone accused him of loitering? Is he being detained? I’m that case he’s gonna continue to lay in this alleyway until he remembers how to walk. Also that fire escape was broken when he got here.

The school security guard wants to know the name of the kids he got into a fight with? No idea. Peter wasn’t wearing his glasses. he’s not even really that popular to be honest? Peter has like 1 and 1/2 friends ask anyone! It was all so confusing and suddenly he’s just so scared because those kids were so mean! Also he’s gonna be late for class so he should get going. He actually doesn’t even remember getting hit. Crazy how there are no cameras in this room... anyway he gonna leave now.

May wants to know why he looks like he got into a fight with Godzilla? Crazy story! He was doing some community service when this one guy he knows from that field trip to oscorp totally flipped out! Mhm, Connor had a mean right hook! He went completely off the rails. Peter’s not sure but he thinks he might be on some strange meds, not the prescribed kind! It’s totally fine though nobody else go hurt. Honestly May, the guy only has one hand how much damage could he really do? Also we should turn off the news right now. Save money on electricity and all that. Did Peter mention that he no longer wants to go to the reptile exhibit together?

Being completely transparent Peter’s not even that good at lying, he just doesn’t care that you know he’s lying if you can’t prove it. He’ll walk away mid-conversation if he doesn’t like the topic. He will tell you the most outlandishly obscene things if he thinks it’ll distract you long enough. He will let you scream at him for ten minutes straight demanding answers while zoning out. He doesn’t even care if you have that shit on video. It was AI! Are we sure that wasn’t a Skrull? That’s literally not even him in that video! The degree of avoidant behavior Peter displays the second superhero’s get mentioned is enough to send a therapist into psychosis.

Yet somehow, Spider-Man is an even worse liar than Peter.

The cool thing about haveing a secret identity is that no one can fact check anything you say. Unbeknownst to most, Spider-Man also just tells the truth an alarming percentage of the time. Under the all the distractions, comedy and vague wording is typically the truth.

This leads to nobody knowing if Spider-Man is ever being serious or not. The guys a well known vigilante and people trust him but he enjoys quips and jokes so you have to hold the slightest bit suspicion with everything he says incase there’s a punchline.

Spider-Man will refuse to tell you his blood type while you try to help him not bleed out in a dumpster because that’s how seriously he protects his identity. Spider-Man will send the Daily Bugle clickbait emails containing hate comments about himself for shits and giggles. Spider-Man will just say insane shit for the purpose of breaking tension and getting a few laughs. You really have to take him with a grain of salt.

Only issue with this is obscene and comical occurrences just happen to him regularly enough as it is. Which means superhero’s and vigilantes have to actually pay attention to what he says incase it’s true.

————

Spider-Man: Always carry a bottle of raid with you! Don’t wanna end up like me, bitten by a radioactive genetically modified spider that your super spy parents made in a laboratory while on a field trip! Forced by an unwavering moral compass and immense grief to take the mantel of justice, becoming a voluntary child solider.

Civilian: hahaha! You’re such a jokester Spidey!

Tony Stark : *horrified slow blink *

——

Spider-man : Woah you not even gonna ID me? I’m offended, really I could totally be one of those youngsters! Anyway, No drinks for me! Don’t wanna be swinging under the influence.

Bartender: hahaha no problem Spidey!

Jessica jones: *skeptical side glance*

——

Police officer: You signed the accords Spider-Man! It’s the only reason we’ve let you operate so long unchecked. You have to submit to-

Spider-Man: Nah.

Police officer: What?

Spider-Man: that’s not legally binding.

Police officer: … yes it is?

Spider-Man: No it’s not.

Daredevil: *confused glaring sounds*

Spider-Man dead serious: that’s not legally binding. Nothing I sign is legally binding.

——

Spider-Man: My webbing? Oh thanks! Yeah I actually just break into this one high-school at night and steal their chemicals to make it-

Reed Richard: …

Spider-Man: -yeah! It’s really not that complicated. The webbing I mean! it’s based of the webbing of a spider and it’s honestly just a lot of polymers, proteins and other stuff.

Reed Richard : …

Spider-Man: the issue was getting enough pressure to shot the liquid out before it oxidized, and since I was like 14 when I started developing it the hard part was finding the right parts while dumpster diving-

—

Spider-Man showing selfies he took while on patrol to a journalist: And that’s where i fought an alien. and that’s where I got jumped by an overgrown lizard. And that’s where I cut a ferry in half. And that’s where my Ex-girlfriends dad dropped a warehouse one me-

Karen Page: Hahah Spider-Man’s so silly!

Spider-Man: That’s where I fought Captain America, the winter solider, Ant-man and the falcon-

Karen Page:… didn’t that last one actually happen?

Spider-Man: oh! and this one’s from when that nice Dominican lady give me a churro. Good times…Do you wanna see a photo of me getting hit by a train?

—

[gl00mt0mb]

I think one of the few collective joys in middle and high-school is when your all reading a book in class so everyone in your grade understands you’re silly little literature references instead of it being only two of your nerdy friends

This is even more intensified when your in advanced classes in my opinion. (Such as one Midtown Peter Parker)

Now I present Spider-Man squinting into the distance as a villain approaches and just starts to drop Shakespeare lines “Something wicked this way comes…” Spider-Man says ominously as the vulture flys towards him

Imagine if in the middle of Ultrons little monologue Spider-man just mutters “…Okay Macbeth don’t forget about your Hamartia” while rolling his eyes

A common thug starts to piss Spider-Man off but he’s in-front of a bunch of elementary schoolers so instead of flipping the guy off Spidey just yells “I BITE MY THUMB AT YOU!” While the criminals being dragged away in shoke

Moonknight is spotted talking to the moon and Spider-Man just whispers under his breath “If the others heard me talking out loud they would think that I am crazy. But since I am not crazy, I do not care.” While quoting the old man and the sea and everyone looks at Spider-Man as if he’s the one off his rockers.

There’s a moment of dead silence as the police aren’t sure if Spider-Man made it out of a building that just collapsed and when he walks into frame and is asked how he made it out alive he just goes “I may not be as strong as I think, but I know many tricks and I have resolution” like the annoying little fucker he is

It’s even funnier if you can’t tell whether or not he’s quipping or quoting. Someone tells be to be serious and Spider-Man just goes “I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood.” Nobody can tell if he was quoting Holden from Catcher and the Rye or just being a little shit

I also head-cannon he gets unreasonably sulky when nobody gets the reference and unreasonably happy when someone does. Bucky makes a Gandalf reference and Spider-Man’s neck fucking swings off the hinges to turn and look at him with unbridled enthusiasm

[skppstr]

this is what it would look like if DC locked in and let me do a blue beetle cover

[thefuckingduckgod]

Saw someone say that most intelligent alien life forms are likely prey animals, so I wanted to add something after falling down the humans are space orcs rabbit hole for the millionth time.

Humans are predators right? But in our day to day lives we don’t really act like predators very often. Very few of us actually have an experience with hunting, with one exception; bugs. Especially flies or mosquitoes.

Imagine you board a ship and all of your crew mates are life forms from other planets, all of them just so happen to be prey. You’re an engineer and general aren’t seen as very threatening. You’re the first human the crews ever had on board so they have no reason to think you would be. That is until somehow a fly gets onto your ship.

It’s meal time and this fly just will not stop bothering you. No one else seems to be doing anything so you decide to be the one to kill it. You go dead still and track it with your eyes, watching to see where it lands. Once it does you move slowly until your hand is directly above it, holding your breath before slamming your hand down. Finally the pesky bug is gone and you can go back to eating. To you it’s no big deal. I mean it’s just killing one bug right? But when you look up after rubbing the dead fly off the table with your shirt, everyone’s staring at you with a look of shock, horror, or fear.

After a minute or two everyone seems to unfreeze and go back to what they were doing, still nervously glancing over their shoulders at you every minute or so.

After that your crew mates seem to always be slightly on edge around you. Listening to you more often than before, and letting you lead in situations where violence might need to be resorted too. While it’s not technically your job on explorations, you in no way mind being able to protect your crew.

Plz tell me how to tag this is my first time posting something I actually spent time thinking about.

[stealingyourbones]

Peter Parker dimension travels to Metropolis. Not MCU Peter, but 616 late 20s Peter Parker who can forge his identity and works for Lex Corp, initially not realizing it’s a bad company, but when he does he continues working for them to slowly yet surely make plans to expose and dismantle the company.

[buddie-romance]

thank you ao3 for being an archive and not an algorithm. thank you for letting me like things without consequences, thank you for being free with no ads, thank you for having lawyers to defend our freedom of speech. thank you tag wranglers. thank you to all authors and thank you ao3

[vivantea]

artblock's still pretty bad but managed to finish an old wip (don't tag as mcu)

DON'T REPOST MY ART TO OTHER WEBSITES | K0-FI

[ancientdreams-in-a-modernland]

Spider-man in Gotham, but he is super pissed at Bruce.

Not because of anything serious.

Just because 'i have a Bruce too, Dr Bruce banner. He is way smarter than you, you furry. He actually has a doctorate. Did you finish med school? I thought so.'

[cowniluf]

Holly molly mother of spring, I'm making a fanart of my fav fanfiction (again.) ,uhh I might say I'm making comic strips but idk what scene I should use, the scene all is so much I can't even chose one to make 😭 but, look at the cover I made for the beautiful fic

Go check the fanfiction out! You shall be proud of the peak

[teamredsoverworkedpremployee]

tony regrets everything. logan regrets nothing.

steve: *fighting bag guy of the week's goons* where's the backup you called, tony?!

tony: *fighting beside him* they'll get here any minute!

clint: *with minor dread in his voice* who did you call?

from outside the building: *muffled sounds of music and punches*

clint: WHO DID YOU CALL

tony:

team red: *bursts through the window, DP carrying a boom box that is loudly playing "Cherry Bomb"*

DP: what's up, party animals! need some asses kicked? butts saved? bad guys slowly but surely burned to death by the absolute fire of my superior music taste?

DD: *tired* i'm sorry about him

peter: logan paid us five hundred dollars to take him off their hands and honestly neither i nor dd are loaded enough to pass that up

clint:

tony:

steve: what the fuck

tony: who the hell is logan