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@1000000-existential-fish
The documentation of a group of 1,000,000 existential fish living in an unidentified realm.
Brought to you by our friendly fish reporters:
Fish #1,000,000 (Bo the Sockeye Salmon) — he/him
Fish #2 (Rat Man the Mediterranean Eel) — he/xe
Fish #420 (Bupbup the Manta Ray)
Fish #358,535 (Kiegan the Anglerfish)
Fish #228,232 (Phil the Planehead Filefish) is tired of organizing files at his generic office job. "This is the 5th time I've been mistaken for a potato chip by my coworkers," says Phil. "My life is on the line every day."
A message from one of the reporters!
Fish #2 (Rat Man the Lamprey Mediterranean eel) says: “hhhhh.hii hi guys. Here I am. Emerging. From my rocks. Something happened, I’m an eel now. I quite like it I think. It’s still fucking Monday. I actually hate it here. Fuck all of you. Happy pride month!”
Fish #64,362 (Illiana the Yellow Perch) wants to know what constellations taste like. When interviewed, she claimed her biggest dream is to get a job at FAFSA (Fantastic Amazing and Fishy Space Authority). To reach this goal, she will begin street busking with her favorite instrument: the spoons.
Fish #806,134 (Minik the Oilfish) sold all his oil to a private company in order to buy himself a ticket to space. "Wait, we're not in a time loop?" stated Minik the day after his unwise financial decision. "But it's still Monday! Well, at least I got to see what lays beyond." Minik refused to further discuss what he saw in space when asked by our reporters.
Fish #274,705 (Lupe the Atlantic Wolffish) has embraced nihilism! “What does it matter anymore? Everyday I wake up, it’s a Monday. The next day I wake up, another Monday. I ask my wife what day it is, she says Monday. I do not care anymore.” Later on she was seen to be staring at her rock collection, longingly.
Fish #157,041 (Collaroy the Australian Bass) is reportedly sick of Mondays. "I woke up this morning, and it was Monday! You know what yesterday was? Fucking Monday! By god, it feels like the days are never short enough. I don't give a shit anymore; I'm cracking 10 cold ones tonight."
Fish #500 (Senex the Greenland Shark) misses his friends and is starting a campaign to make the fishing happen sooner. He will be waiting for members.
All 50 children of fish #25,234 (Temperance the Tigerfish) have gone missing. When questioned about it, she said: "They're gone? Well that's great! I'm sure they just wandered off too far and got eaten. Anyways, I'm gonna go gambling."
Fish #4,454 (Conner Daino) has stated that the fishing will begin at 12:00 am. All fish are in panic for the inevitable. He has also been wrong about this thrice. No, we don't know how he does it.
its happening.
A message from one of the reporters!
Fish #2 (Rat Man the Lamprey) says: "Have a joyous pride month everyfish! I will still have to take your blood though."
The funeral of Fish #999,999 (Matthew the Clownfish) has been held earlier today.
Fish #545,864 (Sadie the Chum Salmon) slept the entire time Fish #888,633 (Keres the Stripped Dolphin) whenever questioned about the loss of Matthew said "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" without further input. Fish #64,999 (Caius the Coelacanth) said "All according to plan." All attendants enjoyed the free hamburgers.
Fish #1975 (Bruce the Great White Shark) last words were, "Woah, respect"
Fish #249 (Bib Goby) has opened up a gun shop near Aqua Lake street, and when questioned about its legitimacy, she said "I'm a fish, why do you care?" She has been arrested for unauthorized use of a fire arm and battery against an officer.
this is your daily reminder to dump a glass of water out onto the ground and then eat the glass. take care of yourself please 🩵
