Finally finished this 😭

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@100daysofvoidscreaming
Finally finished this 😭
WHAT DO THEY MEAN CONCAVE!!! HE IS FLAT!! SO FLAT!! AS A BOARD!! PAPER MORE CURVY THEN HE IS!!
fighting the flat ass allegations
2022 months as songs
Janruary: Can I Get the Real Stuff, Guerilla Toss
February: The Workers Song, The Longest Johns
March: the Free Life, Turbowolf
April: JU$T, Run The Jewels
May: Creature, Half•AliveJune: Vacant Lot, the Growlers
July: Kid Midnight, IRONTOM
August: Virus, Priest
September: Star of Rio, Night Flight Orchestra
October: Come Out Biting, People Soup
November: 1, Mob Choir
December: BUMAYE DUB, KMFDM
People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.
An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.
Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.
It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…
It’s an ant again.
Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.
This is madness.
Thank you for this good PSA because I’m still seeing sincere, published, professional writers doing “ahhhhh oh no this monster was SO UGLY i’m mentally ill now!”
We work together, we're underacheivers, and we work together on lives
The lives of others, we are practioners of a particular brand of compassion
Sometimes, we save those lives, other times we save bodies
You can keep anyone alive, we have such a selection of machines as to keep your body working long after you're gone
I love the dead
You do too, but not in the same way
There is
Something fundamentally different about us
You were made to be this way and I have known no other version of me
You did not always love the dead, but I always have
And this is unfortunate for you, you did not have to be this way, you did not have to have this life
Yet you you sought after purposely
Because I guess we both seek trauma, it seems no one else will and someone has to
Boredom is probably not a bad thing to feel
That means I'm uncomfortable with how things are and I have enough energy to feel that way
I don't just feel like I'm treading water, which is weird
I am bored nathan
Bring me your ghosts
Bring me your dead and let me live this trauma for you
I have forgotten my own already
And am too tired to create new ones
Which is why
I've been asking for yours
Nathan
Stand Master: Lil Nas X
Stand: Old Town Road (localized name: Ancient Village Path)
dead or dying.22
(l to r) marylou: dead – janet: dying – the mud-one: dying – jackie: dead
when the mud-one was 13 marylou went away for a long time and when she came back she didn't remember anything
What does this mean? Why is this account so ominous?
my internal monologue when Ancient Egypt is mentioned: [don't talk about imhotep and the first codified diagnostic manual. the fact you know so much about it is deeply weird and nobody cares about medicine that much]
That sounds fascinating and I want to know. Please.
@karmaphone @hellolovelyscientist @lamiabelladonna
I have been enabled, and By Jove I Will Deliver.
The year is 1862, and antiquities dealer (and forger) and self-made Egyptologist Edwin Smith steals a papyrus from an antiquities seller in Luxor. I could go on a whole separate rant about European colonialists treating culturally significant artifacts like grab 'n go bags and have done so here.
Anyway, Edwin's pilfered scroll gets translated in 1930, and it turns out have been a transcript from about the 17th century BCE of a papyrus written by a man named Imhotep, a vizier in the court of King Djozer who practiced neurosurgery, and made forays into astronomy and architecture too.
Now, Imhotep was wicked smart. As in "when the Greeks met him they incorporated him into the pantheon as a magician of Ascelpius because they couldn't figure out how he had such a comprehensive understanding of the human body and treating it's ills" smart. His scroll was a record of treatment of 48 cases, ranging from fractures of the hand to open abscessed wounds to trauma injuries to the skull. Side note: a lot of medicine during this period was considered to be the work of occult phenomena, and so a lot of treatments involved charms to ward off malignant spirits and incantations to aid in curing them.
What's remarkable about the Edwin scroll is that it is the first recorded account of medicine without the attachment of spiritual or occult phenomena as the root cause or a means of treatment; it's a purely scientific endeavour, complete with an anatomical glossary, diagnosis, summary, method of treatment and prognosis for each injury and illness.
It's the first evidence-based, scientific diagnostic manual.
The most significant case is Case 45, concerning a patient with “bulging masses — they may be compared to the unripe hemat fruit which is cool, and hard to the touch” in the breast. These masses are malignant tumours, the manifestation of breast cancer, and provide us with the first ever recorded case of cancer.
Imhotep knew that a tumour that has hot to the touch was a sign of infection (the inflammatory immune response produces tumor (swelling), rubor (redness), dolor (pain), and significantly to this calor, or heat). Infected abscesses could be treated with draining and a topical poultice. In the section for therapy for Case 45, though, there's one single, haunting line:
“There is none.”
In 2500BCE, well before germ theory, aseptic technique, chemotherapy and antibiotics, a surgeon picked up a scroll of fresh papyrus and provided us with the first ever codified, scientific diagnostic manual for injury and illness, and the first written record of the emperor of all maladies that we call cancer.
That's pretty fucking dope.
(If the cancer aspect is something you're interested in, I highly recommend The Emperor Of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee. It's a record of the diagnosis and treatment of cancer from the days of Imhotep to the present day, and it's a fascinating read)
5/25/2021
Afraid of college?
Talked to kade today, that was nice. Reality has never been objective for anyone. Everything is subjective, some things just have stronger anchors than others. Humanity is very confusing.
I have been effectively trampled. Lots of things contribute to this perception, but I keep coming back to being stuck here.
I have never hallucinated ▪︎ sleepless
Straggling thought: I often feel insane. I don't know if this is due to being made to feel this way by my upbringing, my actually being insane, or something else. I dont think I've ever truly lost grasp on my faculties. I have had instances where I feel very distant from myself, but I feel I can always snap myself back if nesscesary. The confusion that results from anxiety, however, is a wholly different beast. The line between confusion amd delusion seems so arbitrary and subjective that I'm inclined to say I'm sane. Though I know, deep down, there is something peculiar about my mental processes, I dont think this creates a disturbance on the order of insanity; at least not yet.
Friend lot: my fish is dying
Things to do:
Wake up in the middle of the night and take thomas lunch because I guess that's my life now
Are dread and anxiety different emotions? • progressing
Straggling thought: im having a lot of difficulty processing things lately. Today (2/24) has been better, but the last few weeks have felt very fuzzy. I wanted to start doing this again to help me keep track of my emotional trends. The last few weeks have been fuzzy but the last few months have made me feel like I'm back in high school. Right now I feel like I have very little control over my life and I just want to remember, or perhaps find, my motivations.
Friend lot: I miss my friends, I think often of the time I spent with my friends in highschool. I miss them but I think I may miss the passion and love I felt for them moreso than the people themselves. I'm a much calmer person now, I think part of that is natural maturity, however, at least some of it is exhaustion and disillusionment. I feel left behind because it seems, from the outside looking in, my ex friends are happy.
Mental stock: currently, sleep deprived but alright. More motivated than I have been feeling (thus I'm writing this).
Things to do:
Take my medications as prescribed
Exercise
Slowly ease into meditation on my life and goals (this will come later I think, as my mentality improves relating to 1 and 2)
If I had to give months songs I discovered in 2020
I was going to do this but then I realized I literally don't remember anything
It is going to take me years to develop the sense of self, confidence, and ability I never did
Update: I have still not developed that sense of self, but I do think I am much more calm; although that makes passion quite difficult
if you are in a situation where you are worried this could happen to you, or are in any situation where you’re worried your landlord (or anyone for that matter) will try and break into your home while you’re out, it might be a good idea to invest in one of these:
it’s an electronic keypad lock you can add to basically any door. you can get it for 40 bucks on walmart, which is the cheapest i could find for this type of thing. you can install it yourself (all you need is a screwdriver) and it’s battery-powered. there are lots of way cheaper tools that can prevent people from getting in while you’re INSIDE the apartment, but this is about as good as it gets for an external lock that will prevent people from getting in while no one is home. it’s a good way to secure your amenities, belongings, and pets.
note that adding this lock will not alter or damage the door in any way, but might still be a violation of your lease. if you are already rent striking and your relationship with your landlord is tenuous enough that you think you need this, adding this probably can’t make things worse, but it’s still important to be aware of.
This video is an incredible resource on making doors hard to get thru
is there anything more inhuman and grotesque than an angry landlord
hello this is my favorite video ever please please
el muchacho monday