I just realized something about myself. I realized I’m not like everyone else. I mean it. Not like some cringy guy on crack on the street saying “I’m different from of all you”. But I mean it. I’m not the same of this world. I’m apart of the cosmos and stars. I think deeper than a lot. Call me arrogant and self absorbed but humans are the ones who made meaning mean anything at all. But I’ve experienced people of all sorts. People I wanted to be friends with and thought were cool but instead they were fucked too. I’m fucked up too but like I’m a depressed type of fucked up and keep to myself. But these people, they’re spirits (I don’t believe in souls. Spirits are energy which is just scientific. Energy) but they aren’t right. But I also don’t judge them. I’m my own god. I don’t judge them because I’m shit too. I don’t judge them because I realize they have families, things they care about, love, make them happy, things that hurt them too. Just like me. We are all connected. We are all the same. Humans are just another species of animal so of course we act the same. One life repeated in a next and next just with different fonts. Grow up, eat, sleep, innocent as a child, being a teen and broken, being a baby and broken, being a teen and happy, bad things happen to them, love sex, maybe a drug or two or having a drink, maybe celibate, maybe have kids, maybe never have kids, alone, old, die. It’s all the same. We all experience the same every life. So I can’t judge my enemies since we are the same. People where it’s just miscommunication, where two people are the same but opposites, you hurt them, they hurt you, you stay friends, you hurt others, you loose friends. We all go through pain and we share pain together and also pleasure and happiness. So I just understand their point of view. I’m hurt by those people who hurt me, but they had their reasons and some reasons aren’t good, some are bad. I’m just neutral about life now. Because nothing matters. We don’t have any significant purpose and there is no god. We’re just humans, animals, another species that has the smartest of brains and we created this world. We created it all, it’s beautiful and shitty. But beauty and shitty have no meaning if we don’t assign it. Nothing TRULY has meaning. If it did, why would all these bad things happen? Wouldn’t a god save us? But what do I know? I’m just 16 after all.