Day one of Handsome Caitlyn week (Prince) I guess? :D
Itâs unfair really I feel like at this point no matter what I do she ends up so hot that Iâm scared to make eye contact mid drawing
If you're asking which one? The answer naturally is yes :)
Dug out this sketch for Tsukamaki by @venomwrites this morning and then my wife said it kind of looked like a magazine cover SO there it is
If you've read the story you know :D
If you haven't I highly suggest doing so!
Natasha the popular football team captain is dating the invisible nerd reader. Everything was going great until Natasha's fear for her fame gets in between. What happens when someone starts showing special interest in reader? Will Natasha finally put love over popularity? Or the invisible string finally break?
Warning - Angst, jealousy, anger?, sadness, smut, I guess there is none. Didn't proof read.
Words - 6.5k
A/N ; Hey Everyone!
Thank you for all the love you all are showing me. Please feel free to put ideas in my ask box.
Hey Anon! I hope you liked it, I haven't tried anything like this before and it was my first time, I still put my heart and soul into it despite the conjunctivitis eating me alive. Lol. I just hope you like it. It is 4 in the morning and I am only updating for you. Thank you for being patient. đ
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You watched from the bleachers as Natasha made a perfect dive in the air then coming back down on her feet with the soccer ball in her hands, her hair tied behind in a ponytail, her T-shirt was sticking to her figure giving you a view, you would be lying if you said you weren't scared of the dive hurting the redhead.
The other players hurdled around Natasha giving her pats of appreciation and the smile on her face made you jealous of the people surrounding her, they could be closer to the red-haired beauty, while you could only watch from far away.
"You will burn a hole in her head from the staring." Grace threw a crumpled piece of paper at Your head and you flinched before turning your head to glare at the younger girl.
"I wasn't staring," You said and stole one last glance at the team's captain before turning to your friends completely.
You all had a free period and you decided to spend time on the bleachers, talking and enjoying the weather and in your case the view of your gorgeous girlfriend running and saving the day.
"You kind of were." Hannah butted in and you gave a look of disbelief to your best friend while Grace cheered, she always enjoyed teasing you about your crush on Natasha, if only she knew about your relationship with the girl.
"Will you guys ever stop with this teasing?" You asked with a sigh, a little worried about blowing your cover and ruining Natasha's image, she has already warned you several times and even though you hated not being able to hold her hand in the hallways, sit with her in the cafeteria or kiss her in the locker room, you would still choose to have her in private than not having her at all.
"Not anytime soon," Grace replied with a grin and you rolled her eyes, throwing the crumpled paper from earlier back at her. "Did you even prepare for the test?" You questioned, deciding on changing the topic, your eyes momentarily searched the field for your girlfriend and your eyes met hers, you almost smiled until you saw the look on her face.
Her fingers doing the signal and you turned to your friends, "Shit, I think I forgot my assignment in my locker. I am gonna go get it. See you two soon!" You didn't even wait for their reply as you picked up your bag and ran to the empty auditorium.
You quickly tried catching your breath, running your hand through your hair, pushing up your glasses, you tried to look as presentable as you could for the arrival of your beautiful girlfriend. You didn't have to wait too long as the door opened and in came Natasha with her slightly wet hair, probably from the shower.
"Hey." You greeted her with a smile before rummaging through your bag, "I got you this." You held out a tiffin box containing the cookies you baked yesterday. Hoping it would drive off whatever the look she had given you on the ground.
"What's this?" Natasha asked with a raise of an eyebrow as she took the box from you, a small smile playing on her lips. "Are you trying to bribe me now, my little nerd?"
You rolled your eyes at the silly name before giving her a sheepish smile, "Maybe, will it work?" You asked batting your eyes at her and you watched as she let out a chuckle before moving forward to easily trap you against her and stage, putting the box beside your head.
"How many times have I told you to not hang out on the bleachers? Hmm?" Natasha asked as she nuzzled your neck, her lips tracing the skin and biting down harshly when you didn't answer immediately. You let out a gasp, your mind scrambling to formulate the answer. "A f-few times?" You replied, your voice so uncertain that it sounded more like a question, your hands reaching up and tangling in her hair, pushing her further in. Wanting her as near as possible, the smell of bodywash around you making you let out a sigh of content.
"More. You know I get distracted with you there baby." She pulled back a little to look into your eyes and you blushed at the innocent reason, no matter how many times you hear it or pay for it, it still makes you feel the most special person in her life. "Then people might get suspicious."
"Of course, why would the popular Natasha even glance at the lowly nerd like me?" You mocked and the redhead rolled her eyes, before going back to planting kisses on your neck, her hands undoing your shirt and you arched a little bit forward.
"I hate when you get sassy like this." She grumbled, her hand moving to your chest, pushing your bra down to get full access to your breast as she circled a nipple before pinching it in between her thumb and finger. You hissed arching forward into her touch. "Yeah then do something about it." You muttered leaning forward to capture her lips with yours in a passionate seal.
Natasha's expertise fingers squeezed your breast one last time before quickly working with the button on your jeans, her fingers diving into your heat, groaning when she noticed your arousal. "So wet already..." She observed pushing her fingers past your lips to circle the hardened nub making you let out small gasps and moans, trying to be as quiet as possible.
"O-Only for you." You said closing your eyes when her fingers pushed into your past your entrance pumping in and out with ease. "M-More, Fuck Natasha." You groaned, moving your hips forward to meet her languid thrust which increased when she added another finger.
"Tell me who does this wet pussy belongs to?" Natasha growled kissing your lips with a bruising force after you uttered her name. You could feel your orgasm building and the moment you thought you were there, she pulled her fingers out, leaving you high and dry.
"What the hell? Babe?!" You questioned, your frustration of not having a release and annoyance of it happening again, mixing together, "Why would you do that? How many times I have told you not to?!" You asked in disbelief and watched as the red head's smirk widened while she licked her fingers clean of your juices. You wanted nothing but to wipe off the evil smirk off her beautifully cruel face.
"A f-few times?" It took you a moment to realize that she had copied your tone from earlier and you give her a blank face and she laughed, "Oh come on! I will make up to you later tonight." She pecked your lips and you pouted at her when she started fixing you back up, putting your bra back in its place, buttoning your shirt and jeans. Her hand running through your hair, before pushing your glasses up and then pully your cheeks, cooing at you, "My adorable nerd."
"I hate you." You said blankly and swatted her hand away from your cheek and she rolled her eyes with an amused smile on her lips, "I love you too baby. Thank you for the cookies but I rather not take it with me." Natasha kissed your lips one last time before pulling away to lean beside you on the stage, taking out a cookie from the box.
"Why?" You asked in confusion, your brows furrowing together. Natasha snorted, "No one except you brings this kind of lunchbox, nerd." She pointed out holding a cookie up to your lips and your bite in annoyance.
"Yeah of course. Next time when I am over to your place, please explain to me that why," Natasha paused finishing her cookie and shutting the box again. "A grown-up young adult needs to have whatever this character is on their lunchbox." She grimaced at the image of ryuk and you rolled your eyes at her.
"Well, not my problem that you people don't have any taste." You grumbled around the cookie, your eyes taking in the red-headed beauty, the way she casually leaned on the stage, each action of her seems to pull you in further. The black leather jacket making her look more of a badass than she already was.
"It's a shinigami."
"Yeah that. You are crazy." She pecked your lips before tapping your head with the lunch box, not so gently then placing it in your hands. You pouted rubbing your head and watched as she took a step back, knowing she was leaving. "You aren't going to stay?"
"No, my friends must be looking for me."
"Yeah, the popular ones." You muttered in a sore tone and Natasha sighed, "Please don't start again, I am excited to see you tonight. Don't ruin it." She warned you before flicking your nose and kissing you one last time.
"You are my biggest bully." You pushed her rubbing your nose, watching as she let a laugh, giving you a wink before bidding farewell.
Leaving you behind with nothing but her lips on your mind.
----
You walked out of the auditorium after five minutes to not draw any attention. Sometimes Natasha's rules annoy you to no end but you knew it was just to not get people suspicious of you two.
"Nice lunchbox." You heard a voice from behind you and you turned around to see a brunette standing under the shade of a tree, with a juice box in her hand. You tried deciphering the tone of her sentence.
"Shinigamis are cool." She said pushing herself off the tree and walking closer, you instantly recognized the brunette as Wanda Maximoff, the cheer captain.
"I guess." You fiddled with the box in your hand as you tried figuring out the reason Wanda Maximoff was talking to you. "Are you nervous?" She chuckled and you blushed slightly.
"No. I just don't understand why you are talking to me." You looked up at her with much more confidence than before and she smiled at you, a genuine smile. "Are you a bully?" She asked genuinely and you frowned.
"No of course not."
"Then why can't I talk to you?" She asked in confusion and you looked at her as if it was the most stupid question ever. "You are Wanda Maximoff."
"Yeah, and you?"
"That's not the point. You are the Cheer Captain. Aren't you afraid that your popularity would go down if anyone sees you interacting with...me?" You pointed out, looking around afraid for the girl in question who only looked at you like you had said the most ridiculous thing ever.
"That's the most stupid thing I have heard today. Anyway, What's in the box?" She asked before stealing it from you, "Hey! Don't you have manners?" You asked and She laughed.
"Says the one who judges people on popularity." Wanda rolled her eyes, opening the box, "Ooh cookies! Can I try one? Please." She asked and you stared at her with wonder.
"You already stole my lunch box. What's stopping you from stealing the cookie?" You asked with a shrug, watching as she pouted adorably, "Well that was different. So can I have it? Coach didn't let us eat lunch today."
"Is that suppose to melt me?"
"Yes. Is it working?"
You rolled your eyes and waved at her in dismissal, "Sure. You can have it since the person I got it for, doesn't care about it." You muttered in a sour tone which changed instantly when Wanda let out a moan, eating the cookie in pure happiness.
"They must be stupid. This is so tasty. Where did you get them from?" She asked, in between her chewing.
"Yeah, They are. I baked them actually." You answered enjoying the appreciation, "You can keep it if you want. If being seen around with that nerdy box won't affect your popularity." You added and watched as Wanda grimaced at your words.
"Thank you and no it won't affect shit. I think it is cool." She waved the closed box around for emphasis and you gave her a tiny smile. A part of you wished for Natasha to be like this about you.
"Shit!" You cursed when you heard the bell, knowing your next class was on the other side of the building. "I have to go! See you around!" You ran toward the building, Wanda's laughter could be heard in the distance.
"Bye Bye, Cookie Girl!" She called after you and you couldn't help but smile at the name. Mentally, scolding yourself for saying you will see her around. She was the Wanda Maximoff. Plus Natasha would be mad if she finds out about your interaction with her. It was better to stay away.
---
Your blood boiled seeing Natasha and Bucky flirt down the hallway across you, your whole mood ruined. It ruined the moment when Natasha dropped you off four blocks away from the school. Natasha's insecurity about being seen with you was hurtful. You had started feeling insecure about yourself with how much she avoids you on school ground.
"What crawled up your ass and died?" Grace asked standing beside you and you turned to give her a sharp glare.
"A vermin." Your sharp tone catching her by surprise and she quickly raised her hand in surrender and you let out a sigh, trying to calm yourself but it being a difficult task when you can hear your girlfriend's flirty laughter just down and across the hallway.
"You sure you are okay?" She asked and you nodded, letting another sigh out. "I am fine. Just tired." You glanced one last time at the popular duo before turning to your friend completely.
"Didn't sleep well?" Your mind instantly was filled with flashes of Natasha and You and a smile formed on your lips. "A little but it's nothing."
"Sucks! You know I finished the series you recommended!" Grace started talking about some anime and your mind wandered to your relationship with Natasha. Just a few days ago Natasha left you on one of your date nights to hang out with her friends, claiming if she didn't, they would get suspicious. The way she was being so paranoid was giving you anxiety.
And now the attention she was showing to Bucky, you watched as her hand twirled around her hair strand. Okay she was flirting. That is her move. You would know because of the million times she used it on you. You didn't understand what was up with her lately, she was becoming someone else entirely.
You remember the time when things were different, you and Natasha used to hang around each other all the time until she joined the soccer team and got new friends while you stayed where you were, nose buried in books. You almost wished you had listen to her and join those cool clubs she asked you to. Maybe then things would have been different.
"What's up with you? Are you even listening to me?" Grace snapped her fingers in front of your face and you snapped out of your train of thoughts. "I am sorry.. I am just not feeling well." You ran a hand through your hair.
"Do you have a fever?" She placed her hand on your forehead and shook her head, "Your temperature feels okay. Do you want to go to the nurse? The hot one?" She wiggled her eyebrows at you suggestively and you laughed pushing her away.
"No.. I will be fine." You reassured and Grace let out a sad sigh, "Plus I don't want to watch you flirt with the nurse while I die there in pain." You pointed and she rolled her eyes.
"How rude. Let's go now." She started dragging you to your class and you stole one last glance at Natasha and Bucky deciding to talk to her about it later.
---
"Are you kidding me?" You asked sharply, not even believing what you were hearing from her. Natasha looked blankly at you. "I am not. It is important."
You scoffed a laugh, shaking your head in disbelief, "For what? Another boost to your popularity? So that you can create more distance between us?" You questioned and watched as she let out a sigh before rubbing her face with her hands, her eyebrow twitching, clearly a sign of frustration. Any other time you would have stopped pushing her at the slightest sign of her annoyance but you didn't care. You were tired of being her second choice.
"It isn't like that. My friends are suspicious, he will just work as a beard for me." She said running her hand through her hair in frustration. You shook your head, "Are they even your friend if they are judging you on your every move?" You asked and Natasha moved closer to you, taking your hand in hers. In some sort of way to calm you down with physical touch but something in you keep bubbling in the form of anger.
"Baby, it is just until graduation."
"I don't care. I feel disgusted being your dirty little secret! I hate it. I hate your friends! I hate how you make me feel every time we are around each other in school." Your voice raised a bit and you felt your face heating up from blood rushing to it. "As if you are ashamed of me."
"Stupid me! You are ashamed of me!" You said and pulled your hand away from her hold, stepping back. The physical proximity only making you feel angrier at her, at yourself, at this situation. "You know that's not true, I love you." Natasha looked into your eyes with her jaded green one, a pleading look in them.
"Really? Then let's go kiss in the hallway in front of all your stupid friends." You challenged and Natasha looked away, "That's what I thought." You whispered, your eyes stinging with unshed tears.
"Y/N, please. I can't lose my captaincy, my reputation. It's important to me." She stepped closer and tried reaching for you again as if she wanted the physical contact this time for herself, to comfort and reassure herself of the situation being under control but you instantly took a step back avoiding her touch, knowing it was from done.
"More than me?" You bit your bottom lip to stop it from trembling, "Of course not. They are two different things." Natasha shook her head quickly.
"Yes, but they have a direct cause and effect relationship." You argued and wiped at your cheek when a tear slipped from your eye, "You should choose what's more important to you."
"Please don't do this baby. This is ridiculous. You don't want me to hang out around Bucky? Fine! I won't. Happy?" Natasha asked, her face turning into a scowl indicating her temper but you refused to back down.
"It isn't about him anymore. I want to be able to love you freely. I want to be able to sit beside you in the cafeteria, I want to be able to hold your hand and walk you down the hallway to your class, I want to be able to kiss you without feeling disgusting or ashamed of ruining your reputation." You moved closer to Natasha, taking her hand in yours kissing her knuckles slowly. "Don't you want that as well?"
"Not at the cost of everything I have worked for." She answered in a soft whisper filled with remorse, panic rising in her eyes and she opened her mouth to deny you but it was too late. You dropped her hand, tears falling freely down your cheeks now. "Then maybe we aren't just meant for each other."
"Baby please don't say that. I swear I am not gonna hang out with him anymore." Natasha grabbed your hand again in hers and you tried pulling away but her grip just tightened. "It isn't about him anymore Natasha, I have told you, what I want." You said and watched as the determined expression of hers faltered slightly.
"You will bring him up again in few weeks and I won't be able to say no then and will just cry on my way back home." Natasha's own eyes started filling with tears at the prospect of where things were going, she refused to let her tears out and you pulled your hand away from her grip, this time the red-head let it go.
"Let me make this decision for myself when I can." You whispered, your own tears falling freely now, you watched with a dull ache in your chest as Natasha's shoulders shake while she hung her head low. She was trying to hold back her cries.
"You said you wouldn't push me into making us public." Natasha pointed out, her jaw tightened, a fire in her teary eyes, you knew exactly what she was doing, covering her emotions with anger. "Don't go there, now." You pointed out and flinched when Natasha cut you off with a yell.
"I will go wherever the fuck I want!" You stepped back with a sigh, wiping your cheeks, you wished she had acted a little bit maturely but you didn't blame her either. It was just how she was, she would cover her pain with anger just like she knew how you were, too stubborn to go back. "You promised!"
"I did! But that was when you didn't constantly make me feel like I am walking around you on eggshells! That was when you actually treated me like a person instead of a low-class nerd who would ruin everything for you! But you are too attached to just let go!" You yelled back, not caring if any passerby were to hear you, picking up your bag, you turned to leave.
"I hate you." You heard Natasha's cracking whisper and refused to look at her, knowing you might crumble seeing her crying. You left the room leaving behind Natasha to pick up the shards of a broken home that once was yours.
----
It has been a few days since your break up with Natasha and things had been eventful. She has gone from trying to get your attention to ignoring you to giving anyone you talk to looks filled with hatred and jealousy. It doesn't draw much attention because most of the people you interact with are the nerds and geeks, who are the usual target of bullying. Natasha's strange behavior passing off like that.
Just yesterday she has pushed past a guy so harshly that he was slammed against the locker next to you, only because he was talking to you and was too close for the redhead's liking. You almost wanted to go after her and give her a piece of her mind but controlled yourself for her and your sake as well. She was just grieving. It would be okay, you had reassured yourself.
What Natasha failed to notice was, her giving so much attention to people around you, has brought the attention of other kids in her clique to notice you. It wasn't anything bad but just the usual, being called nerd here and there which the redhead had failed to notice, being too busy pushing people away from you.
Your friendship with Wanda had grown as well, the only person Natasha couldn't just scare away. The cheer captain was always around the corner, pulling you into any conversation about baking. Could you even name it a friendship? More like an acquaintance.
"Hey Cookie girl." Speak of the devil. Wanda leaned against your locker and you glanced over at the brunette dressed in her cheerleader uniform, the skirt revealing her long creamy legs.
"I told you it's Y/N." You rummaged through your locker for an extra pencil, forgetting yours at home. "And I told you, Cookie sounds better." Before you could deny the girl, she spoke again.
"Anyways! Guess what I got you?" You turned to her, watching as she held up your lunchbox in her hands with a smile on her lips. "My lunchbox?" You asked a little confused and amused at the antics of the other girl. The stares around you two are not so prominent anymore.
You still remember the first time Wanda approached you on your locker, gushing about how her locker is just two lockers away from yours and how she was finding it out now. The people in the hallway had stopped whatever they were doing to stare at you two as Wanda continued to chatter next to you. You almost felt scared for the girl but nothing seemed to happen to her as she was there again the next day, and the day after.
Unbeknownst to her, a certain redhead would seethe fire everytime she would caught you smiling or laughing at something Wanda had done.
"You are one dumb cookie." You rolled your eyes at the half-hearted insult and Wanda opened the box revealing choco-chip cookies inside. "I baked them! Trying your recipe, tell me how they taste." Apparently you were too hesitant for the her liking because she took the matter in her hand, feeding you the cookie herself.
You chewed softly, feeling stares on you, you glanced around catching the jade green eyes, a familiar fire in them. Natasha was peering over you two from her locker, wearing a simple denim jeans and while t shirt, her soccer jacket on top of her shoulder, her grip on the handle so tight that her knuckles were turning white. "So?"
"It isn't bad.." You started, the cookie wasn't actually so bad. A little underbaked in the middle, giving the feel of eating cookie dough once you start chewing. The sides were a bit hard but everything else was tasty. Now how do you tell this to the bubbly cheer captain without hurting her feelings.
"But it isn't good." Wanda said grimly, her smile falling and you instantly shook your head, "No no! It is..good. The taste is immaculate. It is just the texture, it is under-baked in some parts like when you lay it down to bake, do you.." Before you could continue, a figure loomed over you two, slender fingers taking the half-bitten cookie out of your hand.
"It tastes shitty," Natasha said after taking the bite of it and throwing it in Wanda's open tiffin. "No, it isn't." You tried defending but it was in vain as the two girls stared each other down.
"So now I know it does taste good. Thank you, Natasha." Wanda replied shutting the box with a sigh, "I was gonna give them to you but I guess I need to improve my skills first."
"No, they are perfect, Wanda. Almost like cookie dough and I love cookie dough!" You reassured and winced when Natasha elbowed your side, you shot the red head a glare, rubbing your side, her eyes were fixated on drilling holes on the side of Wanda's head.
"Why do you have Y/N's lunch box?" Natasha asked Wanda, a edge in her voice and you wondered why the bell wasn't going off, you didn't want Natasha to scare Wanda away as well. The brunette has been nothing but sweet to you.
"How do you know it is her lunch box?" Wanda asked back and caught Natasha off guard. "Anyone can spot a nerd's lunchbox." She replied but her voice wasn't much convincing. You weren't going to lie, this one actually hurt. Here you thought she would learn from mistakes.
"Then why do you care so much?" This time it was you, who asked the question and it was evident in the red head's face that she knew she had hit a nerve. "Y/N." Her voice was a bit softer and you uncrossed your arms, taking Wanda by her arm, "Let's get out of here," Wanda let you guide her, with an amusing grin on her face, knowing not many people could talk to Natasha like that, there must be a story behind it.
You could hear the slam of a hand on a locker behind you, making you wince as you left with Wanda, leaving behind the red head to deal with her jealousy.
"What was that about?"
"It's...a long story."
---
You walked into the classroom, usually you would have sat in your usual place, a seat which gave you and Natasha easy access to interact with one another, hidden from the prying eyes of people. Benefit being that none of Natasha's friends were in this class so she could occasionally seat just behind you in the back of the classroom, next to the wall.
You smiled sadly at the memory of being paired with the red head for the quiz, how she flirted with you, pretending to be meeting you for the first time. You blinked away the memory and the stinging of tears in your eyes, you were still upset at what happened between you two but after crying for three days straight, you were finally finding your footing. Now you only cry at night, if it can be counted as an achievement.
Come to think of it, the only two emotions, you were capable of feeling these days were sadness when Natasha wasn't around and Anger when she was around with that hesitant smile of a kicked puppy. Not to mention the way she would play with her hands or rub her neck, her eyes constantly searching you. It was becoming particularly awful for you because you didn't know how to react, your anger getting best of you each time.
Similar to right now, the red head stared at you, her hand nervously tapping against the desk stopping and pointing subtly toward the empty seat in front of her, her green eyes softly pleading similar to a puppy wanting a treat. You hadn't expected her to be in the classroom so early, she was usually the one to trudge in late after the bell had rang, maybe she was early to see you. You almost felt your anger dissipating but you shook the feeling away. You gave Natasha a blank face before moving to sit with Sandra, the girl Natasha hated dearly because according to the red head, Sandra only flirts with you while you thought she was just being nice.
"Hey Babe, what pleasure do I owe to have you sit near me?" Okay, she might be a little bit over friendly but the look on Natasha's face was worth it. "Hey Sandra," You said shyly, your eyes darting toward Natasha who was throwing daggers at the blonde girl's head.
"How is the debate club going?" You asked and watched as the girl dived into a enthusiastic conversation about the tournament they were planning to win. You laughed and nodded at the right time, your fingers touching the side of your ear every once in a while, playing with your hair. You smirked when you watched Natasha's knuckles turning white around the pencil. Just a little force and the poor stick would break in two, her arms muscles flexing underneath her sleeves and you licked your lip subconsciously.
"That sounds really fun. I wish I could tag along to see that play out." You said before moving your hand to Sandra's hair, a tiny feather was stuck to it. "Sorry, you had something." You said, your cheeks tinting as well as a full blown blush covered the girl's face. "O-Oh that's..Than-"
"Move." Natasha's cold voice interrupted the poor girl and you turned slightly to stare at the red head, ready to give her an earful but the look on her face had you thinking twice and damn that eyebrow raise directed to you. It sent shiver down your spine.
I was here first, Romanoff. Maybe If you had shown a little bit of respect, I would have considered." Your eyes widen at the guts of the blonde girl. You didn't expect Sandra to react like that but you doubt her caring about Natasha's reputation.
"Respect? To -"
"Natasha, please." You interrupt her quietly, your hand squeezing her wrist lightly, you didn't want to create a scene and hurt her precious popularity. "Why don't you come sit with me? I have to ask you some maths question." Natasha turned to you and you could clearly see the lie, Natasha was way better with numbers than you. In fact it was her who often helped you out with problems.
"I don't want to.." You whispered and watched as Natasha's face fell, she had turned to you with much confidence and you knew the rejection must be hurting but you were too. You were rejected a thousand times by her for friends, for her parties, for her popularity.
Then why the ache in your heart got stronger as you watched her chew on her bottom lip, nodding a few times as if she was making herself understand the reality and the gravity behind the simple rejection. Her eyes watery as she turned away, trudging back to her seat with a crestfallen look. Her head down as she stared at her lap. You felt your eyes watering as well, the remorse and the pain increasing with each passing second, you could no longer bear to see her.
"I a-am sorry, I have to go." You got up picking up your bag, you left the classroom, the bell going off indicating the start of the period and you didn't have the heart to sit in that room with someone else after rejecting to sit with Natasha. It was either her or no one.
---
"Get out of my way." You were pushed hard against the locker by someone and your assignment sheets fell down the binding opening and your pages scattering on the floor. Your arm throbbed in pain and you could imagine a bruise forming there. One look at the scattered pages that you spend hours putting together even missing out your breakfast for it, your anger got the best of you.
"Fuck you!" You yelled loudly and the hallway grew quiet, the chatterings dying down slowly as they watched the commotion. "What did you say?" The girl asked, from her jersey you assumed she was someone on Natasha's team.
"Y/N.. Leave it." It was Hanna, who bend down to quickly pick up the pages. You bit your lip and didn't bother replying, hoping the girl would let it go as well but instead she approached you, her hands raising up her sleeves, kicking the pages from Hanna's hand mutteringthe word 'nerd' as an insult at your friend. "Cat got your tongue?"
"Get a pair of glasses if you have trouble seeing people in the hallway. I am sure one of the 'nerds' could let you burrow their." You said with a sickly sweet smile, air quoting the word 'nerds', some of the people snickering in the crowd. The girl's face got red in embarrassment.
The girl raised her hands pushing you back into the lockers with so much force that the sound of the slam made the people around wince. You groaned in pain, the handle of the locker dug into your back harshly, tears welled up in your eyes. "Why don't I break yours first?"
"Get away fro-" Before you could say anything, an unxpected fist collide with your cheek, the ring digging painfully in your bone, your glasses falling on the floor. "Like that?" You could hardly make out her words, your cheek was throbbing so painfully, you could feel a trickle of blood from where her ring had made contact with your skin.
"Y/N!" You could make out Hanna's voice and you tried prying the girl's hand away from your collar. "What the hell are you doing?!" You could recognise the cold and demanding voice of Wanda, she approached the scene her eyes darting from you to the girl, "Y/N, are you okay?" She came to your side and before the girl in front of you could say or do anything more, all you saw was a mass of red hair, pushing the girl away by the collar slamming her against the locker next to you.
You winced when Wanda traced your cheek, from the look on her face you could imagine your condition but you needed to focus on the bigger issue in front of you.
"Natasha!" You tried to get her attention but it was too late as the sound of a fist connecting with a bone was heard, following by a painful cry. Wanda moved you away from the duo.
"What the hell?!"
"How dare you touch her?!" Natasha's voice rang in the hallway, her hand colliding with the girl's nose this time, you watched as everyone took out their phones to record, Natasha slamming the girl by her collar on the locker again. "Natasha stop!" You grabbed her arm, trying to pull her away.
"Why do you care?!" The girl spat and Natasha pushed the girl in the locker one last time and you pulled her back, she reluctantly followed, you could hear the murmurs of the students around at the question.
"Because she is my girlfriend!" Natasha yelled loudly, looking around as if she was addressing the whole crowd, your heartbeat started racing as the whispers grew louder and louder.
"Are you okay?" Her eyes traced your injured face, tilting up to examine better, as she gently caresses your other cheek, you stared at her in surprise and managed a hesitant nod. She leaned in placing her lips on yours in a soft peck. From the corner of your eyes you could see Wanda's amused smile and Hanna's shock expression.
"What's going on in here?! Move!" The blusterous voice of a teacher could be heard and just your luck, it was the teacher who hated Natasha's guts.
Her eyes darted from Natasha to you and to the girl leaning against the locker holding her bloody nose. "Take Ms. Kimberly to the nurse. You come back to Dean's office." The teacher pointed to someone in the crowd before turning to Natasha and you, "Ms.Y/L/N and Ms.Romanoff, follow me to the Dean's office."
Natasha squeezed your hand interlocking her fingers with yours as she starts following the teacher, taking you with her. The murmurs growing as looks were exchanged between the students. "Rest of you! Off to class!" You watched as people started scattering away, clearing the hallway.
Natasha squeezed your intertwine hands and you looked at her, her jade green eyes, conveying so many messages and you squeezed her hand back in reassurance, you saw a smile forming on her lips and you felt a small smiling appearing on yours as well, despite the pain in your cheek. Your words from that day resonating in your head.
I want to be able to hold your hand and walk you down the hallway...
----
A/N: Hope you all liked it.
Feel free to drop in ideas or just send anons telling me about your day! I would love to hear anything from you all.
2am - city lights from a high rise, dusty book piles, tired eyes, writing stories, indie concerts, procrastination, denim jackets, classic movies, writing in a diary, impulse shopping, plants on the window ledge
5am - evening drives, dark circles under eyes, neon lights, vivid dreams, broken handwriting, 90s music, leather jackets, tousled hair, late night phone calls, silver necklaces, flannel around their waist
10am - soft blankets, lover of routine, acoustic songs, good grades, bullet journals, pastels and plants, sweet coffee, freshly baked bread, cat washi tape, cozy apartment, long winter coats over turtle neck jumpers, tote bags
1pm - yellow socks, doodles, doc martens, strawberries in the garden, sunflower daydreams, pictures of clouds and best friends, a handful of flowers, peach slices, paint smears on clothes
5pm - gold sunlight, peach ice tea, whispered secrets, swimming in the lake, roses on the wall, french pastries, learning foreign words, soft voices, bike rides and summer picnics, wax stamped envelopes
7pm - dreamy sunsets, evening laughter, cursive handwriting, glossy makeup, soft lighting, photo booths, cherry ice cream, sparkling ocean waves, vintage mirrors, sweet tangerines on a balcony, flowers in a bath
11pm - scented candles, unwanted nostalgia, existential questions, sadness without reason, sitting in the dark and watching the stars, associating songs with past lovers, soft heart, oversized jumpers
(A/N: Hello. I donât know if itâs too long, but Iâm sorry. My hands just kept typing and typing. Hope you will enjoy. Have a nice day/night.)
Under Your Nose
Natasha Romanoff x Reader (GN)
Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of blood and injuries, Talking about mature themes.
Words: 16.5k+
âCan you fucking slow down?âÂ
The wind was annoying. Just like your companion. The person you were sent on a mission with. To fucking Russia. Donât get me wrong, you have nothing against Russia, but that specific place you were sent to seemed to be entirely covered in snow. And to make everything worse, you couldnât reach or at least see that safe house for what felt like hours by now.
âItâs not my fucking fault you have short legs and canât keep up.â You said, fully annoyed and not in the mood of keeping up with her shit.
âAnd itâs not my fault that youâre a dickhead who canât slow fucking down.â She replied in the same tone as you.
You closed your eyes briefly, not stopping your walk, wanting to get away from this situation as fast as you could.
âCalm down, act like sheâs not here.â You mumbled to yourself, trying not to give in your anger.
is there anything you wish you had known before starting T? are there any effects that you dislike? sorry if this is too personal, i'm just trying to make sure i'm making a good decision. i'm agender but i want to present more masc but i'm scared that i'll end up hating the effects of T even though there are some things that i really really want from it. also, i love your art!
no worries im honestly fine with talking about almost all transition/gender related stuff! im gonna talk (p non-explicitly) about sex and body stuff so iâll put this under the cut
there arenât any effects i dislike. when i started there were things that i was very nervous for because i thought i would hate them but ended up loving them. i prefer almost everything i experience on hrt, or i donât care about it, so for example i LOVE my voice now & i love the way T makes me feel emotionally (both physiologically and psychologically), but i donât care about having facial hair because i always shave it but itâs not that much of a hassle and sometimes stubble is cute. i donât care for the body hair either bc i was already basically as hairy as a cis man pre-T, i even liked my old leg hair better because the texture was less coarse. the only thing i like better not on T is sexual sensations, but honestly i dont have sex so it doesnât matter lol. i was v scared for bottom growth and was certain i would hate it but it actually rules i love it (i donât love that i need like three times as much lube now tho cuz ur ability to naturally lubricate goes way down) also this was one of the most uncomfortable changes at first cuz it makes the clit very tender and sensitive and it will rub against your underwear and be really uncomfy with friction, so make sure u have soft underwear and loose pants. sorry for talking about my genitalia but tbh there is nowhere near enough information about trans bodies and its one of the least discussed aspects of hrt.
however, i was not always this content with taking T! it was a rocky start! thereâs nothing that bothers me now, but when i was first starting, a lot bothered me. i was SO sweaty for NO reason, my voice HONKED like a third of the time i opened my mouth, i was VERY ANGRY very quickly, and i was so so hungry!!! snacking forever!! all of these things mellowed out over the first few months, iâm back to not sweating very much and being able to speak like a human person and my anger is actually significantly more manageable than it was pre-T because it comes and goes easily which means i no longer fester deep frustration and anger all the time. i think my appetite leveled out but itâs still higher than before, i gained a couple pounds but it wasnât a lot.
i donât want to pressure or sway anyones decision to take hrt, but i would say that your body and mind are so very capable of adapting to new things & even if you end up not liking some parts of hrt you will be able to deal with them and move on, and most of the things that are nerve-wracking end up being fine. its super super scary to try taking hrt since so much is permanent changes to your body. but you can always take a low dose to make the changes happen slower, and like i said you get used to things way easier than you think you will.
i was really really really scared and uncertain when i started T, but iâm so glad i made the jump to do it! i could never have imagined how much it would improve my life! there were so many things i was terrified of - doing irreparable âdamageâ to my body, regretting it, being read as male, certain specific physical effects, etc. i also didnât know anybody irl who took T, just my beautiful lovely trans woman friend who started E years ago while we were friends, so seeing her go through the process inspired me a lot. we r both so sexy now like we were sexy before but honestly hrt has made us unstoppable & i love it for us. i definitely couldnât have done it without her support. iâm getting off track, my point was that i didnât know anybody on T so i couldnât see firsthand what it was like, i was basically my own experiment, and it was so scary. but eventually i reached the mindset of âiâm so fucking miserable and something needs to change and iâm not 100% certain itâs this but i need to try because i canât spend the rest of my life wondering about it and if i do end up hating it iâll just fucking deal with it from thereâ i would def recommend being more certain than i was but i do think theres a lot about hrt you just wont know how youll react to until it happens. above all my fears, i just wanted it, and all my fears were very surface-level (what if i hate my body [i already hate my body] what if i hate how people percieve me [i already hate how people percieve me] what if it makes me miserable [iâm already miserable] what if i regret taking it [what if i regret not taking it or i miss out on an opportunity to be happy] )
i cant tell you if T is the right choice for you, but i can tell you that i also had fears and uncertainties before starting, and that if you do end up hating it youâll be able to adapt.
A/N - This story is part of a series called When The Deal Goes Down. You should probably read those first. Or donât, be a rebel. This part contains bad puns, medicine balls and some jump scares.
Part 1 - Clones and Horses
As the next week passed, you entered into a new routine with Natasha. There was a freedom and an ease that came with being able to be more yourselves in open spaces. The weekdays began to bleed together as your own schedule gained some consistency. There had been no more missions for Natasha either and you revelled in the peaceful magic of becoming each otherâs shadows. Little things made your day, every day. You could see the same was true for Natasha.Â
Natashaâs new hobby was undoubtedly reading, you gave her another book after she finished your copy of Jane Eyre. Ever since, and at the most unexpected moments, the book would appear.Â
During an extended Shield meeting, Natasha had huffed a sigh, propped her feet insolently on the boardroom table and started flicking calmly through the first few pages. Mariaâs lengthy speech on the necessity of preparedness had faded resignedly at the sight of her. Natasha had ignored the pointed stares of the rest of the room, even Bruce clearing his throat, letting their roll over her like waves on rocks.Â
A/N - I wrote this backwards so more Natasha as it goes along. Itâs includes jealousy, drinking, cookies and swearing.
Total Word Count: 6.8K
Part 1 - Hawk Eyes Everywhere.
Youâd been staying in the Avengers compound less than a week. Fury had seen your potential immediately upon your recruitment to SHIELD as a rumoured enhanced being. With your abilities to both turn invisible and to float being pretty passive, it wasnât surprising that heâd wanted you around real Avengers so that you could work on making these skills more weaponisable. You tried to be friendly with the other Avengers when you could fit socialising around the strict training regime youâd immediately been placed on.Â
From the start youâd clicked with Natasha in a way that you could tell was as rare for her as it was for you. It was flirty and it was forward, but it wasnât really anything official yet. You could tell that your natural closeness with Natasha was noticeably strange, even uncomfortable, for the other Avengers, especially Clint. This was one of the reasons that youâd so readily agreed to Natashaâs insistence on being nothing more than friends around the others.
 âBye guys.â You called out to Clint and Natasha as they crossed the gym floor, passing by the punching bag that you were ineffectively trying to hit. Theyâd come in from the target range outside, halting their conversation as soon as they spotted you and Steve in the corner. You were pretty sure that you would continue to be the topic of conversation as soon as they left the gym too.Â
You tried not to mind so much. It was Natasha who was having to dodge questions from a friend as protective as Clint. Sheâd been apprehensive about meeting him in the gym this morning, even though sheâd played it off. Now, it seemed like he had no hesitation in making his points, you watched him gesturing emphatically as their conversation resumed out of your earshot.
Steve distracted you enough by giving you a go on the treadmill at a pace so blinding that at first you had thought you were having a heart attack. His explanation about muscle development seemed a bit sketchy too, but you held your tongue knowing that heâd gotten all of his from a science experiment. Nonetheless, you had a feeling his goals for your fitness were based on some super soldier standards rather than mere mortals like yourself.
Your session blew through lunch time and eventually, when his stomach rumbling became clearly audible, Steve finally agreed to let you go.
After a quick shower, you scrounged some tortilla chips and guacamole from the common room fridge and snuck back to your room. You decided immediately it wasnât going to be enough and settled on ordering food in instead. Jarvis was happy to put in a delivery order, which impressed you more than it should have, given he was an AI designed to be helpful.
You decided to knock on Natashaâs door before sending in the order. It felt criminal to order food and not ask others if they wanted something too. The door was ajar and so as you knocked on it you also pushed it forward. The immediate tension that you felt in the room was viscerally unbearable. Natasha and Clint were both sitting on the small sofa. Theyâd clearly halted mid-argument at the sound of your arrival.Â
Clint gave you a look full of distrust while Natashaâs seemed both guarded and a little uncomfortable. Your first instinct was to examine the scene more granularly, thinking illogically that the severe tension must be coming from an unwanted physical situation. But they sat like any two friends would. Maybe that was part of the tension you could sense; the disconnect between their body language and the feeling in the air.Â
Natasha raised an eyebrow at you pointedly and you remembered why you had intruded.
âSorry for interrupting, I was about to order food. Either of you want in?â Your voice told them how aware and confused I was by the scene Iâd entered into.
âNo, weâre fine.â Natashaâs calm reply had the subtext of âGet The Fuck Out Now Pleaseâ and you complied immediately. You didnât know how to deal with the look youâd received from Clint, nor hearing your name among the loud voices that rose up when youâd retreated back down the corridor. Jarvis told you quietly as you walked that your order was put in. You headed back to your room, grabbed a book and walked down to the entrance area of the compound to await the food.
More than anything, you wanted to get far away from whatever the fuck that was. There was an enclosed garden in the middle of the entrance foyer surrounded by glass walls. You headed out for some air and sat in the egg shaped chair that floated there. Drawing your legs up and trying to focus on the words in the excellent book that you couldnât appreciate at all.
Jarvis informed you of the large pizzaâs arrival and you headed out. There was a guy there working security. Which was a little bit ironic, given the nature of the building. You offered him a pizza slice and he took it eagerly. Before long you were enjoying the normalcy of a conversation with the two women at reception and the security guard.
Rosemary on the front desk was an older woman, originally from England and you wandered through a conversation on British vs American culture and how nice it was that the Great British Bake Off was popular in the US. The other woman at reception was in her early twenties, Ella was undoubtedly trying to flirt with you. You let her, not reciprocating, but not letting the moment get awkward either. Talking in a group helped keep the conversation flowing anyway.
You left an hour later, barely eating any of your own pizza and not really minding. Youâd successfully reduced staff productivity and were now feeling much happier. The awkwardness of Clintâs reaction to you was tempered when you remembered there was a world outside the Avengers, impossible as that sometimes seemed. Youâd even walked away with Ellaâs number, and Rosemary had promised to email you during the 9-5 working day. She was stuck staring at a computer anyway.Â
You planned to head back to the common room, still wanting to avoid the residential part of the compound. The incident with Natasha and Clint had moved further from your immediate concerns. There was an old bean bag that you planned to face at the sunset as it came through the large windows in the room. A perfect place for reading.
You had forgotten that your particularly late lunch meant that it was now already other peopleâs dinner time.Â
Clint, Steve and Bruce were hunched over the breakfast bar - that was used for every meal- eating some rice dish. Noone seemed to have been cooking but a large serving dish sat on the kitchen counter. As they saw you enter, Bruce waved you over.
âGrab some of Pepperâs rice thing. She just sent it down, so itâs still warm.â His mouth was full as he spoke and you readily took the offer of such good food. You didnât want to sit near Clint though, feeling very wary of him and his effect on Natasha earlier and the possible impact of his opinion on you. Instead, you ate standing, leaning against the opposite kitchen counter to keep facing him. It was an unusual act of defensiveness from you, clearly picking up some of the Avengerâs paranoia. You tried not to read any of their faces and focused instead on eating the delicious food.
Steve finished first, ending his impression of a starving animal.
A/N: I would just like to say, the first thing I thought of when listening to this song again was @wandaromanovaâs âMemoriesâ and âI do.â I recommend yâall go check those out if not for the song, then for the magnificent angst. Anyways⌠back to the regularly scheduled angst :)
Angst Week Masterlist
âNatalia.â
It wasnât an easy thing to spook Natasha. Sheâs been through hell with her training, and if the Red Room had ever done anything helpful for her, it was train her to be the best. And the best meant never being caught off guard.
But the sound of her name ringing behind her definitely made her heart come to a stop.
Because Natasha hasnât heard that voice in years.
