she blow my dick like a cello

[isuggestkillingyourself]

[tactfulsaboteur]

[psybomb]

Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

[cidham]

amir khusrow (1253–1325 CE)

[cherepashkadrabbles]

This is back on my dash! And listen, I love to see Amir Khusrau getting appreciation, but this translation ignores a lot. The original rhymes! And scans! And does playful things with register! And conveys a tone of affectionate banter between the two speakers, not least because it has them both addressing each other as sakhi (translated above as “girl”) in the last two lines. I think taking some liberties with line order is worth it to preserve more of the rest—and I think there’s a better translation of sakhi. And so:

He only visits once a year, I splurge big on him when he’s here, His kisses make my tastebuds tango. Who, bitch, your man? Nah, bitch, a mango.

[itsybitsyjoltik]

we can’t keep letting him get away with this

[anceh-atsiome]

[tothechaos]

we need to find the beating heart of The Job Market and we need to plunge a holy gleaming blade into it. its the only way to be free

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Tried to tip a tumblr blog at 1am and it was such a suspicious transaction it immediately put a full fraud freeze on my account

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

-

Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog

Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?

Me: no I was just on tumblr...on purpose

-

Caah: and this person asked you for money?

Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if I tipped them"

-

Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *

Cash: okay I don't think that can actually happen though..

Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny

-

Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?

Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* ... I have no idea who this person is

I think in the end Cash decided there was no saving me from myself

[dungeon-moss]

[solarifle]

"we have to accept the fact that the r word is coming back" NO WE DONTTTT NO WE DONT

[anarchopuppy]

sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it

[sexhaver]

lmfao the Scots in town for the World Cup have made a pilgrimage to Boston's world-famous Cop Annihilating Slide

[sailatina3]

Orgasm denial. Orgasm anger. Orgasm bargaining. Orgasm depression. Orgasm acceptance.

[toskarin]

doing the "we are the daughters of the witches you couldn't burn" thing in a catholic country making it somewhat unclear what I'm getting at

[maniculum]

Trying to parse whether this reblog is making:

An extremely inaccurate assumption about how widespread witch trials were in the early modern period

An extremely specific point about the prevalence of different execution methods (most accused witches in Britain were hanged, not burnt)

A radical claim about the ontology of nations (technically the “United Kingdom” wasn’t created until the 1800 Acts of Union, therefore nothing prior to that date happened “in the UK”)

[toskarin]

this is an excellent question but your phone may have a concussion

[phlegmaphoto]

[epellucid]

via

[inadvertently-biblical]

Trinity and Mel who each had plans they were looking forward to fall through and who each got upsetting news they weren't prepared for but who found a friend in each other. Trinity and Mel who are growing together.wl

[brarchives]

sabryna oliveira at the backstage of glamour brasil

[isqineeha]

Give Me a Poem (2009) أعطني قصيدة

Iraqi Artist SADIK KWAISH ALFRAJI صادق كويش الفراجي

[evildilf2]