idk man

I am going to drop out of reality and become a fictional character. There is nothing in your head that the sorting hat can't see.

[anxietyproblem]

[licensetocannibalize]

hannibal, critiquing other serial killers:

[books-n-quotes]

“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.”

— Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet In Heaven (via books-n-quotes)

[alisonzai]

[shadow27]

[witchofprose-deactivated2020041]

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

[sofarawaytae]

[paprika]

[spacedlexi]

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

- dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer - sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

[topsiders-tanlines]

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

- rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

[dashaibo]

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

[frowningfox]

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.

[futurist]

Why can’t you accept that she may be living a good, honest life? That she’s an attentive mother and good mom?

[radio-girl1]

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

[meladoodle]

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

[meladoodle]

[meladoodle]

i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

[auburngal]

If you don’t reblog cauliflower granddad, then you’re just a mean person.

[fate]

thanks for sharing (2013)

[anxietyproblem]

[kwikemart]

“hey wanna come over and get drunk or someth-”

me:

[brainstatic]

Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother’s grave so maybe step it up.

[bandydear]

Mary Shelley carried her husband’s heart around and lived in a crypt after he died. No one will ever be as goth as Mary Shelley.

[whereshadowsmakeshadows-deactiv]

Filling out course evaluations for classes you did shitty in