itās the little things š¤
Hi guys!! This is considered part 10B!
Iām hoping to get some questions answered within this chapter and the next and throw in a couple surprises hehe
Thank you all very dearly for your continued support after my hiatus. Love you all so so so much! :)
this is so short and iām so sorry
Warnings: Cussing, Mentions of violence, some sexual mentions but no smut
Taglist: @gaymistakeboi @batw3nch @thedevillovesflowers @almightywdm @ghostslittlegf @sketchyfandomgirl @under-the-dirt @clear-your-mind-and-dream @darkangel4121 @vreselia @llemessii @stargaliz @rockcollector3000 @nottrosaxx @azu21 @kaoyamamegami @vicktorfan @ghost-is-my-bbg @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @salsasvault @itr-00
āSure, why not?ā You lazily wave your hand as you move aside to let her in. Thereās nothing she can say to make your situation any worse anyways. You donāt sleep, you donāt eat and youāre in a constant state of disrepair. Anything that comes out of her mouth couldnāt possibly hurt you when youāre so numb.
She stands awkwardly fiddling with her fingers, nervous. āI just wanted to talk to you, but first, are you okay?ā
āIām here.ā You shrug. āWhat did you wanna talk about?ā You slink onto your bed, putting your elbows on your knees.
Tia takes in a big breath before letting it out all in one gust. āI know what you saw, and I know what you must be thinking. If I was in your shoes, Iād probably so furious Iād cut the manās balls off.ā She chuckles softly, āBut making you wait this long for an explanation, let alone leaving you without one in the first place is simply cruel on my part and I cannot apologize enough.ā
You donāt say anything, whatever explanation sheās trying to offer you, you donāt want it. Nothing can let what happened between her and Price be a write off.
āWhen I was hired, I kept in contact with John most of the time, and so when a problem arose, I had kind of a lapse of judgement. He was the only person I could think of that would help me.ā You raise an eyebrow at this.
āAre you really trying to justify your affair with Price just because of a momentary lapse of judgement?ā Your voice, albeit it quiet was cold with venom. āYouāre kidding me right? If this is all youāre here for then youāre more than welcome to leave.ā You go to stand but her hands shoot out in front of her.ā
āAffair?! No! Wait! Just- please let me finish.ā When you donāt respond, she takes it as permission. āDid John ever tell you how he found me?ā
āNo. I guess he never did.ā The realization hits you like a brick. āWhy?ā
āHe got me as a recommendation from Commander Frederick in Infantry. Iām his full time nanny in the summers. Therefore, I knew the 141 and who John and you were.ā Your eyes widened as you sat up a bit straighter. āSo when the job came up, I figured it was a good chance to ask John for some help. Boy, help.ā She separated the last two words, as if she was almost ashamed.
āBoy help?ā You quizzed her.
āYeah, thereās a guy on this squad that Iāve always admired and I thought John would be able to help me with figuring out how to talk to him. I just never actually told him who the guy was. I figured heād never let one of his men be distracted by a relationship.ā She smiled a bit.
āSo I saw you two almost kiss because he was āhelpingā you learn how to talk to a guy?ā You sounded almost sarcastic when you said it.
āIt sounds stupid but you were 19 once, so maybe youāll understand. Iāve never been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, let alone slept with anyone. The most Iāve got is holding hands with a boy on the playground in grade school. I needed all the advice I could get. I didnāt wanna look like a novice if I ever got a chance with this guy.ā
āWho is this guy?ā Forget everything else she said, you needed to know if the name sheād say was really someone on this team.
āI donāt know him really, Iāve just seen him about. I hear people call him Johnny?ā You canāt help but let out a snort as she says his name.
āMohawk? Staulky and tall? Scottish accent?ā You giggled through the words, which was also the brightest youāve felt in weeks.
āYes!! You know him?!ā Hope lights in her eyes.
āI do, but Iām sorry to say heās not open to relationships anytime soon. He got burned by someone a while back and heās still dealing with it.ā Leaving out the part where heās currently a baby, everything else you said was entirely true. You also left out the part where you were that someone.
āOh, well thatās okay. At least I have an answer. Can you ever forgive me? I know I kinda blew up your entire thing with John.ā She fiddles with her fingers again.
āI can forgive but I donāt know if I can forget. Iāve been to hell and back in the matter of 2 months and the one person I had left walked away from me.ā You sigh and that crushing weight comes back again.
āHey, donāt do that.ā She squats down in front of you. āIf thereās anything I know about John, itās that you were the only thing he ever talked about. I know more about you than you would think. He loved you with his entire being. He didnāt walk away because he wanted to, it was because he thought he had to.ā She smiles and grabs your hands. āI know my opinion means nothing, but I would talk to him. Just let him explain it to you.ā You nod as she stands up.
āIām really glad I got to talk this out though, itās a weight lifted from my shoulders. I have to go catch a bus back home though, I hope things get better for you.ā She smiles softly before heading out the door to your room.
What just happened? Price wasnāt having an affair? Tia wasnāt trying to seduce him?
You picked up your bag and didnāt even care about how you were dressed. Laswell had the boys, and you had a mission.
You were gonna get John back.
The car ride to his base was quiet, the first time in months your head has truly been calm. The radio was off and the sounds of the traffic around you was the only sound that reached your ears.
Your senses only came back to you when you pulled up to the gate and flashed your ID. You remembered the building Laswell told you John was staying in.
Pulling up, you froze. Both hands were still on the steering wheel, the AC still blowing cold air as it hit you. Youād been on auto pilot for so long, it was almost as if your body brought you here without your consent or control.
Reorientating yourself, you took in your surroundings and filled your lungs with air, taking the moment to regain your control. Then, you shut the car door, walked into the building and found Johnās room.
You said a silent prayer that Laswell told you the right one as you knocked. Footsteps sounded on the other side after a minute, and when the door finally opened, there he was.
āY/N?ā You felt tears building behind your eyes, but you pushed them back as you stared at the man you loved. The man that you had so little trust in, that youād assumed he had an affair with a 19 year old. John, the man who had shown you so much undying love in recent months, was right within your reach. āAre you okay?ā
After hours spent explaining what happened to you after he left the mission site, your talk with Tia and where youāve been mentally, tears were streaming down your face. It felt good to finally let it all out to John, to clear the air after so much miscommunication.
āWhy didnāt you talk to me sooner?ā He reached over to grab your hand, giving it a squeeze. āI wouldāve explained everything. Iām so sorry youāve been going through this alone. I shouldāve come to you instead of running away from the problem.ā
You took a deep breath, steadying your voice. āI didnāt know at the time. My brain never let me think of that as a solution. I was grappling from Snyder did, what I saw with you and Tia, Soap being in the hospital-ā A shuddering breath left you as you continued. āI was so in over my head that my judgement was fogged. I felt so alone. Simon was the only one who halfway understood what I was going through.ā You laughed softly, āIf you count grunting and sleeping on my chest as understanding.ā You shook your head as tears fell harder.
John closed his eyes as he sighed. āIām stuck here for a few more months until I can request a transfer back. How about you let me take one of them. I can take Gaz, split the load? I talked to Laswell about it, it was her idea.ā
Your eyes shot up to him. āReally? Youād do that?ā
āAre you serious? Weāve been in this together from the start. Iāve left you drowning for months, itās about time I start helping again. With limited room here, I can only help so much though.ā Looking around, you cringed at how truly small the room was. It made you thankful for your suite back at the compound.
āI can have Laswell bring Gaz tomorrow morning. I have some paperwork that needs to be filed. Laswell wants me to sign a few things and give a full written report on the deployment start to finish.ā John nodded.
āThatās fine, Iāll call her later this afternoon. Are you going to be okay driving back? I can follow you there?ā
āItās okay. I could use the alone time actually.ā You smiled to reassure him.
He squeezed your hand again to return the sentiment. āDonāt ever be afraid to call. I know itāll take some time for us to return to what we had, but Iām hoping we can start with baby steps.ā You tried to hide your smile at that.
āNo pun intended?ā You laughed as he shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose.
āIām happy to see you smile.ā John brought you in for a hug. āIām serious though Y/N. I want you to ask for my help if you need it.ā
āI will John. Thank you.ā You backed up a little, looking at him. āIām willing to take small steps towards healing us.ā
āWeāll do it together. Iāve got to go do firewatch. I wish you could stay longer.ā John ran his hand down your arm. āPlease get back safely.ā
āI will. Iāll let Laswell know youāll be calling her about Gaz.ā With that, you both bid your goodbyes.
Driving back to the compound was quieter than the drive to John. Something in you felt off, like something was wrong.
Your internal instincts were churning in your gut, but you couldnāt put your finger on it, so you brushed it off as left over adrenaline from working up the nerve to talk to John.
Arriving back at the compound, Laswell was nowhere to be found. All that was left of her was a note taped to your door saying āLeft to run Gaz to Price early. The other two are down for a nap. Theyāve only been alone 10 minutes by the time you arrive back.ā
You go to open the door, but hear a crash like someone knocked over furniture. You reach for your concealed weapon in your boot, ready to kill whoever is in there with Soap and Simon. Quietly and slowly, you opened the door, getting into the mindset that you need to clear this room.
Looking around, you see Simon asleep in the playpen, which meant whoever this asshole was had Soap. āWhoever you are, you better come out and surrender that baby back or youāll be dead on sight.ā You called out into the room with authority.
āY/N? Is that you?ā You almost dropped your gun at the sound.
āCome out with your hands up!ā Your voice was shaky as it came out. You kept telling yourself your mind was playing tricks on you.
āPlease tell me whatās happening?ā Your gun fell out of your hands and onto your mattress, luckily somehow not going off.
āYouāre not real.ā You shook your head, running to grab Simon and get the hell out of there.
āOut of everything going on, Iām- Y/Nā¦what happened to you?ā You felt like you were gonna be sick. āYou look like youāve been through hell.ā The figure stepped closer, and as a hand came to rest on your face, you finally let their name slip out of your mouth.
