i play bass in an emo band and a grindcore band and i write my own music and produce my own music primarily witch house
i like salem and emo and hardcore and metal and haunted mound and electronic music and stuff of that nature and just lots of music mostly
heres a rough list of artists i like: 50 calliber, salem, skrillex, sematary, ghost mountain, six ft ditch, swear to god, bladee, awakebutstillinbed, your arms are my cocoon, aphex twin, venetian snares, no retreat, earth crisis, shattered realm, cerebreal incubation, speechless at gunpoint, yung lean, internal bleeding, dr acula, chelsea grin, i hate myself, taste the steel, krutch, final resting place, hatebreed, torture, one second thought, alex g, edward skeletrix, devourment, mortal decay, ethel cain, i have dreams, the great redneck hope, tower of rome, i hate sex, kekht arakh, lifelover, bolt thrower, guttural slug, without remorse, jane remover, febuary, heavy heavy low low, kimj, chat pile, roy orbison, electric wizard, ayesha erotica, burial, devourment, dreamcrusher, ec8or, marietta, emmure, i set my friends on fire, holder, told not to worry, flowersforpersephone, ends in tragedy, the sawtooth grin, birth day, sufjan stevens, white ring, mazzy star, cocteau twins, orville peck, first day back, carpathian forest, e_death, fakemink, psychonaut 4, marjorie wc sinclair, cult member, alexisonfire, iwrotehaikusaboutcanabalisminyouryearbook, combat wounded veteran, city of caterpillar, orchid, the dillinger escape plan, train breaks down, crystal castles, klaxons, ecco2k, the sea the sea, life, saxon shore, and drowning the light. again, that list was a really rough assemblage and theres way too much but that was off the dome so its whatever
It was a cold autumn morning during September, 2008. Leaves had fallen down onto the ground and been mushed up into dirt and mud with the rain, the trees looking dead, fog surrounding the place and clouds beginning to form above in the sky indicating that it was about to rain. It looked like a scene from a horror movie. Zane didnât even wanna come here, his cheek was pressed up against the window. He let out a tired exhale, his breath fogging up the cold glass, he was wearing a thick jacket with a scarf wrapped around his neck and half covering his head, the heater of the car on, yet he was shivering, teeth lightly clattering against each other. This was terrible! His stupid mom was sending him over to live with his grandparents for a month or two, making him miss actual school for fucking catholic school. But his mom hadnât told him that, only the part where he was going to stay with his grandparents .. Zane wasnât fucking dumb though. âYou excited to go to your Nanaâs?â His mom excitedly exclaimed from the front seat, Zane didnât answer and continued to watch the trees pass, they were finally leaving the empty road and approaching the small town that was in the middle of nowhere.
Driving around to find a parking spot, the town wasnât so exciting if Zane had to be honest. A few houses, one church, few supermarkets and one big library that looked about a thousand years old.. eugh. He canât believe he has to spend 2 months in this dumpster. Itâs like he got sent back to the 80âs. Everything looked so dull and lacked color, the condition of the weather really topped off the depressing aesthetic the town seemed to be going for.
Stepping out of the car and unloading his bags seemed to take his mom forever.. he didnât feel like helping and watching her struggle to carry all his shit seemed like good revenge for making him stay here, ignoring all her complaints and begging for his assistance. Leaned against the car with a smug looking face. He was a piece of shit.
When they finally arrived at his grandparents house, having to walk around the town a bit, they were confused because all the houses looked so similar. They waited for a minute before someone opened the door, it was his grandpa. âThereâs my boy.â He happily took Zane into his arms, hugging him extremely tightly, almost knocking the air out of the boyâs lungs as he tried his best to snake his arms around his old man to hug him back. Behind the man came his grandma, looking as sweet as ever. She also hugged him, she was very small and fragile compared to her husband so it was a little weaker. Zane felt bad for her for no particular reason, he really adored his sweet old lady, loved the cookies she baked him and how she would always take care of him as a child when his mom was busy doing.. Shit. He didnât like thinking about it, his grandma really was the light in his dark childhood.
Walking up the creaky old stairs, there was a hallway that had dozens of pictures of other kids, including himself, hanging up on the walls. The wallpaper was lightly peeling off though not so much that it was noticeable, there were three doors, one bathroom, and two bedrooms, his grandma led him to the third door all the way to the back of the hallway where he assumed he would be staying. Opening the door slowly, he peeked inside and saw a plain old room, the same wallpaper, a desk and a bed that was decorated quite nicely. âWe havenât had any guests in a while!â She beamed, excited to finally see a new face everyday.Â
Zane smiled back at her and quietly murmured about how he was also excited to stay, turning his back to her and secretly rolling his eyes. He didnât like being mean to her but he wasnât all that happy about staying in this shitty old town.
Oh well, he shouldnât judge so early, maybe the school won't be so bad..
-
Whoâs he fucking kidding, this place looks like an extremely depressing prison. Holy shit.
He waved his grandpa goodbye awkwardly, watching the man drive away with his hand out the window waving back. He turned around and took one more look at the school, it was essentially a church, dark and standing tall in front of him. It looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie, like he was gonna walk in and get torn to shreds by a big monster or have a vampire trap him inside and suck all the blood out of him. The weather obviously didnât help as it was lightly raining, his grandparents didnât have an umbrella so he had to go outside with only his sports jacket that could barely handle any rain, the wetness soaking through and he could feel his hoodie getting wet too, the clothing sticking to his skin.
When he went inside it was quiet, apart from the raindrops falling off his jacket onto the floor. He would've thought the place was abandoned, but it looked so neat, especially with its weirdly fancy doors and chandeliers everywhere that just seemed.. Unnecessary. He continued to look around the place with curiosity, not noticing that someone was coming up behind him. Zane jumped and turned around when he felt a light tap on his shoulder, he was about to throw a punch but lowered his fist when he was face to face with a wide eyed boy, who managed to grab his wrist with surprising strength, despite his lanky looking frame. âWoah now..â he raised his eyebrows and let out a little chuckle, startled by Zaneâs sudden movement.Â
Zane jerked his hand away from the boy's grip and took a step back; he didnât expect anyone else to be in the building with him. âWho the fuck are you?â Zane hissed, looking the other boy up and down. âAhh.. Youâre the new kid, right? Iâm Wren, my dad is a priest here at this school.â Wren smiled and put out his hand for a handshake, but Zane just looked back at him skeptically and didnât even try to reciprocate. He cleared his throat as he watched Wren awkwardly lower his hand, though the boy didnât break eye contact once, continuing to stare with those eerily enchanting eyes. âYeah. Name's Zane.. You know where the principalâs office is?â Zane scoffed dismissively, already looking around to try and find it himself.
Wren looked a bit confused âMhm.. It's on the other side of the school. This is the church, you know?...â Zane looked beyond the boy and.. Right. The ridiculous amount of benches which could probably fit the whole town inside. That made sense. Zane turned a little pink from embarrassment. He was walking around the church thinking it was the school like a fool. âDo you need me to help you get there? Or will you get lost again?â Wren teased, seeing how flushed Zane was becoming. âShut the hell up. I can find my way around. This place isn't big anyway.â He huffed, storming off out the church.
Wren watched him curiously, seeing him stomp towards the nurses office. He chuckled again, noticing Zane realise that he was going the wrong way. Frustrated, Zane suddenly turned around and bolted, crashing into the other man causing them both to fall onto the ground. Zane laid on top of Wren who gasped in surprise when he felt wetness soak from Zane's jacket onto his shirt. The pair scrambled to get back up on their feet, Wren whining about his clothes and Zane cursing while apologising. âHey! Youâre in a church!â Wren snapped, it seemed that was the only thing that made him angry throughout this whole interaction. Zane blinked and murmured another apology as he crawled off him.
As he went to look at Wren's face to apologize, he couldn't help but let his eyes drift down to his drenched shirt that was now see-through, the outline of his chest and abs now visible. Wren noticed Zaneâs stare and whipped his flannel closed, his mouth fell open and his eyes widened even more than before, looking like they were gonna pop out of their sockets. âGosh! What the h-â Wren yelled, his voice echoing through the building, as he abruptly stopped himself, now being the one blushing from shame.
Wren pushed himself up and walked off to the bathroom. âWait! Iâm sorry about that! I-I didnât mean-â Zane stammered awkwardly, raising his arms in defense and following him from behind. Wren slammed the bathroom door shut in Zaneâs face, making him flinch and hesitate to open it. The awkward silence only lasted a few seconds before it was then broken by a loud groan. Wanting to see what happened and just needing an excuse to enter, Zane opened the door. He found Wren wringing the water out his shirt, leaving him topless whilst sporting a red spot on his hip. Skinny bastard must've hit it on the sink somehow. Zaneâs gaze fell back on Wrenâs this time bare torso, having a more clear view on his chest and abs. He turned even redder than before, combing his fingers through his sweaty hair nervously.
Wren turned himself away from Zane, whining about him entering without his permission and telling him to get out. Zane only came closer, closing the door behind him and trying to inspect the bruise that was sitting pretty on Wrenâs hipbone. âGo! I told you to leave me alone!â Wren feels Zaneâs big freezing hands on his hips, trying to turn him around. His breath hitches from the cold biting his skin. âCâmonn.. Lemme see..â Zane mumbled, dropping his usual cocky tone. Even as he felt the other man start to shake under his touch, he insistently kept his hands there, wanting to see the bruise fully. Despite being gentle for probably the first time ever, he didnât realise how intimidating he was. Towering over the other man and pushing him into the corner, Wren was probably scared as hell!
Due to his more âgentleâ nature now, he started to notice more details about Wren. How his lower lashes were particularly long, how his eyebags seemed to frame his face, how the stubble above his lip moved as he was whispering- whispering? Zane paused, moved forward, and blinked. Now studying his face fully- âWhy the hell are you praying?â
Wrenâs gaze slowly lifted up to Zaneâs face, stopping his prayers, the bathroom falling into a dead silence. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, neither of them daring to utter a word. Zaneâs face kept inching closer to Wrenâs, the latter's eyes darting around the room, trying his best to avoid Zaneâs eyes, and hoping he would go away soon. Zane luckily moved away like Wren wanted but now he was looking at the bruise on his hip, which was way more humiliating than him staring at his face. âPretty nasty bruise.â Zane muttered, his thumb lightly caressing over the fresh red wound, making Wren struggle to hold in a whine, his back hitting the cold tile and dropping the wet shirt from his hand to cover his mouth. Wren definitely shouldnât have done that, the mischievous look on Zaneâs face after he made that noise terrified him, and he was right to be scared. Zaneâs palm sharply pressed hard on the bruise, driving Wren further up the wall, his eyes now welling up with tears. His trembling and fear from earlier had now transformed into thrashing and anger. Why was he even angry?? Lord knows.
The more Zane continued to harshly play with the bruise, Wren got more and more aggravated, starting to kick at him, trying to get him to stop. âMmh.. Zane-â Wren yelped, moving his hand from pushing Zane away to cover his mouth again, stifling his whines. His eyes sealed shut, He secretly didnât want Zane to stop at all. His skin turned a light pink and sweating profusely, he hated that he liked this, God would never forgive him for this. Zane finally stopped after assuming that Wren wasnât enjoying this as much as he was, only to feel Wrenâs hand wrap around his wrist to stop him, not saying a word. He opened his eyes and gave Zane a pleading look, silently asking for him to keep going.Â
Zane grabbed the boyâs waist again and dragged him off to a stall, locking the door and closing the distance between their faces. Wren gasping for air and clawing at Zaneâs chest, their lips messily and hurriedly moving together. Zaneâs hands left the boyâs waist to grab at his soft brown hair and hold his jaw tightly, he was trying to ground Wren so that he wouldnât fall onto the ground, his knees were giving out and he had no idea what to do with his tongue. Was he supposed to lick Zane? Was Zane supposed to be biting his lips so aggressively? He just tried to copy whatever the other was doing.
They pulled away after a minute or so, Wren was completely red in the face, tears staining his cheeks and his lips bitten raw. It really was a sight to behold. Zane was glad his mom made him move to this place.
âY-you are a sick pervert.â Wren sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand and felt more tears blur his vision as the realisation of what he had just done settled in. He shoved Zane out his way and unlocked the door, rushing over to his discarded clothes on the ground and picking them up, putting the wet t-shirt and flannel back on. âWhatâs wrong now?â Zane groans, a little annoyed this time that he got interrupted once again.Â
Wren just couldnât face him, he couldnât shake off the feeling of dread and disgust, like he had been violated even though he wanted Zane to touch him and kiss him. God doesnât approve, God would spit on him right now, God is never gonna forgive him for doing this. His acts this evening were equivalent to the acts of Lucifer, defying God in such a way he deserved eternal torment⊠Or rather Judas, his kiss of betrayal meant there was nothing else in his destiny but to hang himself. He could feel his chest getting tighter, he clutched the cross on his necklace and tried not to let the tears spill.Â
âCan you talk to me, man?â Zane put a hand on Wrenâs shoulder but the boy shook it off, working on buttoning up his flannel instead, trying to replace the feeling of hot skin on skin with his clammy hands on the cold buttons. âJ-just.. Go away, man..âÂ
Zane stared in disbelief, how come he was just making out with this dude and now all of a sudden he wants to storm out like a grumpy girlfriend? It didnât make sense to him, but he didnât feel like stopping the boy would do any good either. He watched him gather himself up before exiting the bathroom, leaving Zane confused and a little hurt.
Fic by Me and my best best Owner @buckesshot ))
