[ki55ed]

this bee stuck its tongue out at me today

[ki55ed]

[ki55ed]

Living in a city sucks sometimes cause like where can I go to scream

[ki55ed]

I’m ripping everything off. Sometimes it feels like I’m taking things too far… that by getting rid of all my vices I’ll somehow discover a truer version of myself. not sure what exactly I’m hoping to find but I hope it’ll bring me closer to finding the reason that I’m here. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m meant for something important… I’m sure thats some sort of American Christian upbringing programming at work but i can feel it deep in my bones. A lot of people tell me that no one truly knows what they’re doing… I’m sure thats true to an extent. But I’d like to know what I am doing. Just hoping all this self-restriction(?) pays off for something or that there is some sort of internal reward or awakening. I guess that’s kind of dumb to expect and I might be setting myself up for disappointment but it’s worth a shot. I’ve got nothing but time anyway… it only takes one day to reverse years of progress so I can always self destruct in the end if everything goes to shit.

[ki55ed]

I still remember everything like it was yesterday, though I try not to think about it so much anymore.

[sacred-portal]

[anticbrvtalist]

Lee Miller, "Hotline to God", Strasbourg, 1945.

[moneybytheton]

[maxcapacity]

i’m doing important work

[road0flife]

[your-desert-heart]

[ki55ed]

once ki55ed, twice shy

[ki55ed]

Why do we feel so hopeful for the ability to change at night yet so completely reset by morning?

[ruraltears]

[dream-sequence]

[unplaces]

S Eddy St, Pecos, Texas.

[ki55ed]

quitting drinking was one of the best choices I’ve ever made in every aspect of my life. It was and is really hard that I lost a lot of my social life because I don’t want to surround myself with alcohol and unfortunately that was the scene i was in. But I’ve been spending a lot of time with aloneness lately. Reminds me of when I first moved out here with my mom and I had no friend, except I was so scared of everything back then. I have so much more support in my life now with my loving partner by my side which I couldn’t be more grateful for. But back then I had to put myself out there so I guess I need to do more of that now. You never grow by being comfortable… and there are a lot of things I’ve wanted to try. I want to be a part of something. And I want to help someone else. I don’t think I would’ve ever felt like this had I continued doing the same shit i was doing while drinking all the time. Anyways… wish me luck!!