What High-Value Men Seek in Women...🤍
A few weeks ago I sat my boyfriend down and asked him to explain exactly what he and his highest-value friends actually look for in women. (Yes, I know the term "high value" is very subjective, and while I consider Tucker--a twenty-something hedge fund director from family money quite high value, you may not feel the same way. Take everything as it applies). Anyway, it was an incredibly enlightening conversation and I'm SO excited to summarize the main takeaways for you all. So with that said, here are the top qualities that "high-value men look for in the ideal girl.
Intelligence and ambition.
At the top of Tucker's list was, unsurprisingly, intelligence. To quote him directly, "My friends and I are only into girls that are super smart and career-oriented. Yeah, the idea of dating a model is enticing but looks alone get boring after a while. If she's not on our level intelligence and career-wise, she's not dating material". So the old wives' tale of wealthy men being intimidated by brains is completely and utterly false. Above all, high-value men are attracted to girls that are highly educated, work top-notch jobs, have engaging and complex hobbies, and are able to run circles around the average person from an intellectual standpoint. I spent my entire first date with Tucker discussing capital markets and later, he told me that my ability to hold such a complex conversation was what convinced him that I was the one. So if there's one thing you work on during your leveling-up journey, let it be your knowledge. Intelligence is sexy.
Effortless beauty.
According to Tucker and his friends, effortless beauty refers to a natural and unforced attractiveness that emanates from a person without them appearing to put in excessive effort. It's a quality that goes beyond physical appearance and encompasses an overall aura of charm and allure. It could be seen in a woman's natural glow and healthy complexion, her genuine smile, or her relaxed and positive attitude. Effortless beauty trumps aesthetics in the eyes of a high-value man because, again according to Tucker, "Men don't know anything about makeup or fashion so there's really no point in spending hours getting dolled up before dates. Yes, we appreciate long hair, nice bodies, and pretty smiles but beyond that, everything's pretty much lost on us. A woman's feminity and charm will ultimately determine whether or not we're into her."
Challenge.
If there's one thing Tucker pressed during our conversation, it was that high-value men like women that they have to earn so to speak. In his words "If I'm into a girl and she immediately makes it clear that she's available and ready to jump into a relationship, I'll only see her as an option. Now if I'm into another girl that makes it clear I'll have to prove that I'm worthy of her time, I'll see her as the one." Why? Because men who have achieved success in various aspects of life, such as career, personal development, or financial stability, will always appreciate a girl who knows her worth and demands respect. The challenge of figuring out how to prove their worthiness is often wildly exciting to men who never really have to work hard for anything.
Adaptability.
Tucker has told me several times that his favorite aspect of dating me is my ability to seamlessly make myself at home in every setting he brings me to (I can just as easily shake hands with the portfolio managers at his fund on a swanky rooftop as I can drink beers and crack jokes with his friends at the Knicks game). Tucker spent a very long time explaining that he and his friends are only willing to date a woman that has the intellect, charisma, and self-awareness to blend right into whatever setting they bring her to.
Silliness and spontaneity.
When I asked Tucker for personality top picks, all he had to say was "Ultimately, we just like girls that are carefree and spontaneous. None of the dark feminine, vixen crap--that gets old quick." A carefree spirit often implies a sense of spontaneity, fun, and a willingness to try new things. To me, being carefree and lighthearted means laughing until my stomach hurts at the dinner table, waking up on a Sunday morning and deciding to go on a road trip to find the perfect beach picnic spot, and having zero qualms about making a fool out of myself just for the thrill of it. And when a guy works 80 hours per week and has to be serious 24/7, the ability to just have fun and act silly is seriously appealing.
Warmth and affection.
Last but certainly not least, high-value men are not exempt from needing a good dose of love and care just because they're wealthy and powerful. When a man feels warmth and affection from his partner, it establishes a sense of safety, trust, and intimacy within the relationship. And a strong sense of security and vulnerability is extremely important for a man who feels like he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders every day. Tucker would KILL ME if he found out I was revealing this, but after a very bad day at work (and when you work at a hedge fund, trust me when I say that a bad day is a BAD day) he actually requested (a bit sheepishly) to cuddle in bed for a few hours in silence. And with his head resting on my chest and me lightly running my fingers through his hair in the dark, I quite literally felt the life come back to him. So trust me when I say that your ability to make a man feel loved, cherished, and cared for will ultimately reflect your ability to maintain a peaceful and mutually beneficial connection.
I may make a part II, but that's all for now :)
Lovingly, Elle
