DEAD LIKE ME SENTENCE STARTERS
“I excel at not giving a shit.”
“Don’t flatter yourself, you’re not that interesting.”
“Sir / Ma’am, I’m gonna say this as politely as possible…I will fuck you up.”
“I just wanted to save her.”
“You can’t save any of them.”
“I’ve never seen such violence over such small potatoes.”
“I’m gonna kill that fucking baby.”
“Who’s been making grilled cheese sandwiches with the defibrillator paddles?”
“Now you made me mad! Now we can never be friends!”
“You’re a constipator, [name]. You disturb my shit and that’s annoying.”
“If Romeo had just masturbated a couple times a week he could have saved both those nice families a whole heap of trouble.”
“If I see someone running, I just assume they’re a loser.”
“I like knowing that the space between my ears is immeasurable.”
“I do not say this phrase lightly in this hallowed place: This is fucking inedible.”
“Call me a ‘little thing’ again and I’ll put this fucking dart right between your twinkling eyes.”
“Oh [name], this is nothing. You should have seen the tattoos I’ve had to have removed.”
“I don’t wanna fit in. I just don’t wanna stand out.”
“Human beings are simple, predictable clichés.”
“Speakin’ of death, let’s get to work.”
“Sometimes off-color language is the best way to convey an idea.”
“I’d bore myself to death if I weren’t already dead.”
“Ah, fuck that shit. They can blow me.”
“You gotta think about all things you like, and decide whether they’re worth sticking around for.”
“I am sorry for your loss. The things in life you won’t do, the people you won’t know and who won’t know you. But there’s this life, where you are loved.”
“You are so beautiful; and I love you. I just don’t like you anymore.”
“I don’t feel safe anywhere.”
“I’ve been having a fuck of a time lately, [name]. Just a world of pain.”
“Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize that your life is meaningless?”
“I was born to be a rock star, if I could sing.”
“I’ve been in crack houses with more style.”
“The first blow to the head was self defense. The other three blows after that were probably a little murderous.”
“You don’t mess with fate.”
“People die when they are meant to die. There’s no discussion, no negotiation, no wiggle room. Life’s done, it’s done.”
“Life’s too short, and death is too long.”
2087
romaincrisis
titsay
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
gummygunk
snowghoul
ellievsbear
tangentwithtanner
theartofmadeline
