I am Painis Cupcake...

I will eat you!! Unless, y'know, you wanna strike up a conversation, that's cool too. (Headcanon Painis Cupcake Ask and RP blog penned by Austin!) l Crossover/AU friendly l Not shippy l Non-selective l

[leviathan-sushi]

Keep reading

[rocket-hopping-simplton]

There is something to be said about those who work for man co.

Mainly that they are unhinged, in various ways, but that they are all undeniably unhinged.

Solly mae doe was no different. She felt she may be among the most insane of man co’s employees. She knew all to well the bullshittery they pulled, the games they played and lives they destroyed. And yet? Here she was, gearing up for another fight. She was smarter than anyone gave her credit for. Sure she wasnt 11 phds smart like the engineer, but she was observant, she dug, she made friends who would confirm her suspicions. Her bubbly nature, weaponized, to allow her to gain information she shouldn’t, by breaking down the walls of even the strongest of folks.

And it was the fact of her awareness to the darker side of mann co. That made her unhinged. And she couldnt help but feel camaraderie with the other mercinaries who also...knew this and yet still worked for this starving wolf of a company. 

She sighed and pulled on her clunky soldiers boots, and fastned the strap of granades to her chest. Ready for the day and for a fight.

[2fortcannibal]

A click rang out through the air. Sounding like...a shotgun being cocked?? Was some scumbucket trying to take her out before the match?! But then there was another click, then another, each sounding slightly different. And they all seemed to be coming from the same direction. What the hell was going on? What was making those sounds??

[2fortcannibal]

[[RP starter for @love-and-wars ]]

A series of loud clicks came from the ventilation system of the BLU base, emitted by none other than the notorious creature known by many as Painis Cupcake. He’d slipped in through an open vent on the outside of the base; air vents were wonderful entry points for getting into places you’re not supposed to be. He didn’t really care too much about the very high possibility of his loud clacking alerting someone to his presence…he’d just eat whoever tried to stop him anyway.

He reached a dead end eventually, and rather than turning back and leaving, he simply punched the vent cover obstructing him off its screws and hopped out of the ducts into….whatever room of the base this was.

[love-and-wars]

Kurt had frozen when he first heard the clicking in the walls, slowly following them as they made their way through the building before pausing in a large storage room. Whatever was in there seemed big, so he thought about running for some backup, but the vent flew off the wall before he could even move. The mass that came out was much larger that he had thought…

His hand went to his belt for his needle gun but he only found his ubersaw, and he didn’t want to get any closer that he had to. Still, he held it out in defense. While his face was serious he couldn’t hide the slight tremble in his voice. “Wh-Who’s there?!”

[2fortcannibal]

“Huh?” Painis turned to look at the Medic, his blank expression briefly flashing into a predatory grin, showing off his dagger-sharp teeth and the nearly-symmetrical scars marring his lips.

He drew himself up to his full height, easily towering over Kurt, and turned to fully face him, expressionless once more. He made no move to strike..yet…

Painis took notice of the ubersaw and visibly tensed, readying himself should Kurt attack. But for now he just…stared him down…

[love-and-wars]

As the stranger rose to full height Kurt became less sure that he would be able to take him on by himself, but he didn’t really have a choice now that he was seen. He risked a few steps into the room with the saw still pointed in defense. “I said, who is there?!” he repeated himself in an attempt to appear unafraid, “Answer the question!”

[2fortcannibal]

Painis gave a light chuckle and a smirk, might as well give his usual introduction.

He tilted his head up and to the side slightly with a clicking noise, pointed to himself and said, “I am Painis Cupcake.” before giving that same wide, unsettling grin. “And I would follow that up with ‘I will eat you’, but hey, I’ll give you a chance, Medic. Now you know my name, so…what’s yours?”

[love-and-wars]

Kurt’s face turned to confusion at the strange introduction. What a strange name. And did he say…I will eat you?

He huffed in annoyance, figuring Painis was just another wack-job hired by Mann Co. Placing a hand on his hip he gave Painis an icy cold glare only the Top Bitch of the base can pull. “Kurt, Kurt Nadel. What the hell are you doing in my vents?” 

[2fortcannibal]

Painis simply chuckled at Kurt’s response, he found the medic’s confusion amusing. He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at the attempt to intimidate him, It would take more than that to get him to leave.

“These are your vents, huh maggot? Well, didn’t see your name on ‘em.” The Freak clearly wasn’t taking Kurt seriously. He figured this scrawny medic couldn’t do much in the way of harm to him, even with that ubersaw.

[love-and-wars]

Kurt rolled his eyes at the childish response. 

“Idiot, I’m not here for word games. You’re trespassing,” not yet realizing Painis was less human than he looked Kurt walked up to push his finger into his chest and continued to glare up at him, “You’re lucky I’m giving you a chance to walk away, some people are aren’t that nice.”

[2fortcannibal]

Painis’ expression briefly went to surprise at the poke, but quickly turned into that wide, open-mouthed grin, giving Kurt a good look at his sharp teeth. The medic had made a fatal mistake; he put himself within grabbing distance. And Painis wasted no time in gripping hold of both Kurt’s arms. “I don’t think you know what you’re dealing with~” The Freak said with an almost giddy-sounding chuckle.

[2fortcannibal]

[[RP starter for @love-and-wars ]]

A series of loud clicks came from the ventilation system of the BLU base, emitted by none other than the notorious creature known by many as Painis Cupcake. He’d slipped in through an open vent on the outside of the base; air vents were wonderful entry points for getting into places you’re not supposed to be. He didn’t really care too much about the very high possibility of his loud clacking alerting someone to his presence…he’d just eat whoever tried to stop him anyway.

He reached a dead end eventually, and rather than turning back and leaving, he simply punched the vent cover obstructing him off its screws and hopped out of the ducts into….whatever room of the base this was.

[love-and-wars]

Kurt had frozen when he first heard the clicking in the walls, slowly following them as they made their way through the building before pausing in a large storage room. Whatever was in there seemed big, so he thought about running for some backup, but the vent flew off the wall before he could even move. The mass that came out was much larger that he had thought…

His hand went to his belt for his needle gun but he only found his ubersaw, and he didn’t want to get any closer that he had to. Still, he held it out in defense. While his face was serious he couldn’t hide the slight tremble in his voice. “Wh-Who’s there?!”

[2fortcannibal]

“Huh?” Painis turned to look at the Medic, his blank expression briefly flashing into a predatory grin, showing off his dagger-sharp teeth and the nearly-symmetrical scars marring his lips.

He drew himself up to his full height, easily towering over Kurt, and turned to fully face him, expressionless once more. He made no move to strike..yet…

Painis took notice of the ubersaw and visibly tensed, readying himself should Kurt attack. But for now he just…stared him down…

[love-and-wars]

As the stranger rose to full height Kurt became less sure that he would be able to take him on by himself, but he didn’t really have a choice now that he was seen. He risked a few steps into the room with the saw still pointed in defense. “I said, who is there?!” he repeated himself in an attempt to appear unafraid, “Answer the question!”

[2fortcannibal]

Painis gave a light chuckle and a smirk, might as well give his usual introduction.

He tilted his head up and to the side slightly with a clicking noise, pointed to himself and said, “I am Painis Cupcake.” before giving that same wide, unsettling grin. “And I would follow that up with ‘I will eat you’, but hey, I’ll give you a chance, Medic. Now you know my name, so…what’s yours?”

[love-and-wars]

Kurt’s face turned to confusion at the strange introduction. What a strange name. And did he say…I will eat you?

He huffed in annoyance, figuring Painis was just another wack-job hired by Mann Co. Placing a hand on his hip he gave Painis an icy cold glare only the Top Bitch of the base can pull. “Kurt, Kurt Nadel. What the hell are you doing in my vents?” 

[2fortcannibal]

Painis simply chuckled at Kurt’s response, he found the medic’s confusion amusing. He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at the attempt to intimidate him, It would take more than that to get him to leave.

“These are your vents, huh maggot? Well, didn’t see your name on ‘em.” The Freak clearly wasn’t taking Kurt seriously. He figured this scrawny medic couldn’t do much in the way of harm to him, even with that ubersaw.

[2fortcannibal]

[[RP starter for @love-and-wars ]]

A series of loud clicks came from the ventilation system of the BLU base, emitted by none other than the notorious creature known by many as Painis Cupcake. He’d slipped in through an open vent on the outside of the base; air vents were wonderful entry points for getting into places you’re not supposed to be. He didn’t really care too much about the very high possibility of his loud clacking alerting someone to his presence…he’d just eat whoever tried to stop him anyway.

He reached a dead end eventually, and rather than turning back and leaving, he simply punched the vent cover obstructing him off its screws and hopped out of the ducts into….whatever room of the base this was.

[love-and-wars]

Kurt had frozen when he first heard the clicking in the walls, slowly following them as they made their way through the building before pausing in a large storage room. Whatever was in there seemed big, so he thought about running for some backup, but the vent flew off the wall before he could even move. The mass that came out was much larger that he had thought…

His hand went to his belt for his needle gun but he only found his ubersaw, and he didn’t want to get any closer that he had to. Still, he held it out in defense. While his face was serious he couldn’t hide the slight tremble in his voice. “Wh-Who’s there?!”

[2fortcannibal]

“Huh?” Painis turned to look at the Medic, his blank expression briefly flashing into a predatory grin, showing off his dagger-sharp teeth and the nearly-symmetrical scars marring his lips.

He drew himself up to his full height, easily towering over Kurt, and turned to fully face him, expressionless once more. He made no move to strike..yet…

Painis took notice of the ubersaw and visibly tensed, readying himself should Kurt attack. But for now he just…stared him down…

[love-and-wars]

As the stranger rose to full height Kurt became less sure that he would be able to take him on by himself, but he didn’t really have a choice now that he was seen. He risked a few steps into the room with the saw still pointed in defense. “I said, who is there?!” he repeated himself in an attempt to appear unafraid, “Answer the question!”

[2fortcannibal]

Painis gave a light chuckle and a smirk, might as well give his usual introduction.

He tilted his head up and to the side slightly with a clicking noise, pointed to himself and said, “I am Painis Cupcake.” before giving that same wide, unsettling grin. “And I would follow that up with ‘I will eat you’, but hey, I’ll give you a chance, Medic. Now you know my name, so...what’s yours?”

[2fortcannibal]

[[RP starter for @love-and-wars ]]

A series of loud clicks came from the ventilation system of the BLU base, emitted by none other than the notorious creature known by many as Painis Cupcake. He’d slipped in through an open vent on the outside of the base; air vents were wonderful entry points for getting into places you’re not supposed to be. He didn’t really care too much about the very high possibility of his loud clacking alerting someone to his presence…he’d just eat whoever tried to stop him anyway.

He reached a dead end eventually, and rather than turning back and leaving, he simply punched the vent cover obstructing him off its screws and hopped out of the ducts into….whatever room of the base this was.

[love-and-wars]

Kurt had frozen when he first heard the clicking in the walls, slowly following them as they made their way through the building before pausing in a large storage room. Whatever was in there seemed big, so he thought about running for some backup, but the vent flew off the wall before he could even move. The mass that came out was much larger that he had thought…

His hand went to his belt for his needle gun but he only found his ubersaw, and he didn’t want to get any closer that he had to. Still, he held it out in defense. While his face was serious he couldn’t hide the slight tremble in his voice. “Wh-Who’s there?!”

[2fortcannibal]

“Huh?” Painis turned to look at the Medic, his blank expression briefly flashing into a predatory grin, showing off his dagger-sharp teeth and the nearly-symmetrical scars marring his lips.

He drew himself up to his full height, easily towering over Kurt, and turned to fully face him, expressionless once more. He made no move to strike..yet...

Painis took notice of the ubersaw and visibly tensed, readying himself should Kurt attack. But for now he just...stared him down...

[2fortcannibal]

[[RP starter for @love-and-wars ]]

A series of loud clicks came from the ventilation system of the BLU base, emitted by none other than the notorious creature known by many as Painis Cupcake. He’d slipped in through an open vent on the outside of the base; air vents were wonderful entry points for getting into places you’re not supposed to be. He didn’t really care too much about the very high possibility of his loud clacking alerting someone to his presence...he’d just eat whoever tried to stop him anyway.

He reached a dead end eventually, and rather than turning back and leaving, he simply punched the vent cover obstructing him off its screws and hopped out of the ducts into....whatever room of the base this was.

[2fortcannibal]

Open Sterter!

!!MAJOR WARNING FOR GORE/CANNIBALISM. This is Painis we’re talking about here!!

[love-and-wars]

Keep reading

[2fortcannibal]

Keep reading

[love-and-wars]

Keep reading

[2fortcannibal]

Keep reading

[love-and-wars]

Keep reading

[2fortcannibal]

Painis simply gave an irate grunt at Miles’ threat. He had no plans of obeying this man, and currently just wanted him off his back. “I’ll keep that in mind...” He grumbled, lowering his voice to a barely audible mutter before snarling, “Maggot...”

Without another word, he dropped onto the floor and...slid on his belly out of the spawn, making a rapid-fire clicking as he went...what the hell was this creature!?

[2fortcannibal]

Open Sterter!

!!MAJOR WARNING FOR GORE/CANNIBALISM. This is Painis we’re talking about here!!

[love-and-wars]

Keep reading

[2fortcannibal]

Keep reading

[love-and-wars]

Keep reading

[2fortcannibal]

Painis huffed, starting to grow agitated. He honestly felt like Miles was babying him. Clearly this guy had no prior knowledge of him, because anyone who knew who Painis was would stay out of his business, lest they end up as another meal for him. Plus Miles was being way too...nice...to have had any knowledge about Painis before they met. “I guess, maybe.”

[2fortcannibal]

“HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MAGGOTS!”

[[mun as Painis himself for Halloween! irl i’m a fat fuck, lol]]

[2fortcannibal]

Painis’ thoughts on other Soldier-based Freaks

Rubberfruit- “That’s my mom, do I even need to say anything?”

Soldine- “WAYYY too serious, he needs to loosen up a bit.”

Robosol- “Creepy. The way he acts like a total robot weirds me out.”

Uncle Crusty- “He’s nuts, but I don’t mind him.”

Crack Cupcake- “Asshole...”

Demented Soldier- “Also an asshole, but unlike C.C. I don’t have a personal vendetta against him.”

Soljah- “He’s weird and kind of annoying, but he’s not too bad a guy.”

Assbox- “Also a weirdo.”

Solgineer- “Good friend of mine actually!”

Trashmann- “Who?”

Robot Cupcake- “Ugh. Ate him once, regretted it...”

Painis Vagicake- “WE. DO NOT. SPEAK OF THAT THING.”

[ouranhighschoolroleplay]

Send 💓 for my muses reaction to yours listening to their heart beat.

[justmorerpmemes]

Extremely Exhausted Starters Part 2

“You’re nodding off… hey, come on, you need sleep.”

“I can’t… you’re going to have to carry me.”

“Hey, you passed out. Do you remember what happened?”

“No more today, you’re at your limit.”

“I’m can’t move… I’m too tired…”

“You’re starting to ramble, you need rest.”

“What was that over there…? Did you say something?”

“Nap… please? Nap with me?”

“My subconscious isn’t exactly allowing me to get some damn sleep.”

“I can’t lift it without shaking…”

“You’re too weak to stop me from stopping you.”

“I don’t even have the energy to be defiant… I must be messed up.”

“Standing up is about all I can do.”

“You can tell me all about how tired you aren’t while I carry you to bed.”

“It’s been three days… does it make sense now?”

“Whatever you need me to do so you’ll stop and rest, I’ll do it.”

“Don’t force my hand. This is your last chance to stop yourself.”

“Your health is deteriorating. Take a break or I’ll make you.”

“You’re wrong, I’m fine. I know I’m fine… I’m fine…”

“Telling yourself that you’re okay doesn’t make it true. We need to get you safe and rested.”

“Yes, you did it and you’re alive, shut up. I was worried half to death you idiot!”

“Tired enough for cuddling huh…”

“You shush… shhh… shhhhuuushhh…”

“Oh great bed rest warden, may I be allowed freedom from my prison today?”

“You’re shaking, and sore. I can see the exhaustion in your eyes.

[2fortcannibal]

EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

bold whatever applies to your muse.   italicize the things that only somewhat apply / are verse dependent.   REPOST, DON’T REBLOG.

been cheated on   | been bullied   |   had your heart broken |   broken someone’s heart   |   told a horrible lie   |   been betrayed |   been framed / set-up   |   stolen something of value   |   overdosed on drugs   |   been drunk |   cheated   |   bullied   |  been publicly humiliated |   punched someone in the face |  been beaten up   | broken a bone   |   been admitted to a hospital   |  put someone in the hospital   | had a near - death experience   |   been drugged   |   done drugs  |   smoked   |  been arrested |   been homeless  |   been forced to commit a crime   | died and came back to life |   kissed someone you weren’t attracted to  |  bled severely |  killed someone  |   been forced to kill someone   | had an attempt on your life   |   made an attempt on your own life   |   lost someone |  loved someone  | watched a loved one die |   failed to save / help a loved on   | felt helpless |   watched your world die / disappear  |   had your life’s work stolen /  destroyed

gone without food for over three days | gone without sleep for over three days |been tortured / questioned |   been shot  |   been stabbed   |   been poisoned   |   been held prisoner   |   been trapped |   been buried alive   |   been held hostage   |   held someone hostage   |   been stuck in a different world / universe / time  |   been abused by someone who should have loved / appreciated / valued you  |   had a panic attack  |   had night terrors   |   been in a car accident   |   lost your job  |   lost a fight   |   had sex with a stranger   |   been divorced   |  been abandoned   | passed out from pain |   cried yourself to sleep  |   spent a whole day in bed   |   hurt yourself |  taken your anger out on yourself |   taken your anger out on someone you love |   been used   |   been manipulated  |   felt used | manipulated someone else   |   had your memories / mind wiped / stolen or tampered with |   been taken over by a hostile force   |   been terrified   |   played a cruel game on someone   |   been forced to smile   |   felt too many things at once | laughed when you felt like crying   |   been in denial  | been denied   | faced your demons Tagged by @monmuses Tagging: Swipe it from me

[2fortcannibal]

“*Yaaawwwwwnnn.....*”

[2fortcannibal]

“Oh god, oh fuck, OH GOD, OH FUCK-”

[[Some doodles based on screenshots from a couple Gmod/SFM videos!]]

[2fortcannibal]

Shere Khan - How intimidating is your muse? Are people often correct when assessing their power? + TE-KA - Is your muse misunderstood? (for Disney Villain headcanons :eyes:)

[[Shere Khan: Most people actually underestimate Painis, he initially doesn’t seem very threatening and his goofy-ass name doesn’t exactly instill fear, but he’s definitely a force to be reckoned with.]]

[[Te-ka: Yes, actually! Most see him as just a mindless monster, but he’s fully sapient and able to reason, even if he is still a little dimwitted. Also despite being an awful cannibal, he does have a heart and some semblance of self-control.]]