"You're gonna be awfully sorry, little theyfab, when the day comes that medicine can provide trans fems and trans women with the ability to menstruate and give birth! Then you won't be able to weaponize your AGAB by [checks notes] bringing up the fact that you still have gynecological needs!"
Listen to me: I genuinely, wholeheartedly, with my entire being hope that anyone and everyone who wants the ability to give birth is someday able to make that dream a reality. When that day comes, I will genuinely be ecstatic for everyone who's able to have that procedure they've been waiting so long for. When transandrophobes say this to me, I imagine they must think this is something I'm opposed to, but I'm not! If having the ability to give birth or menstruate would be gender-affirming for you, then I'd really like nothing more than for you to get that ability. Truly. And I don't say this to be like, "then you can finally understand my pain!" Like, no, I want trans people to get whatever gender-affirming care would make them the happiest. I understand that the pain is worth it when it makes you the truest, most actualized version of yourself. When that day comes and if I'm still alive, genuinely come abduct me in my sleep and just take my uterus. Steal my womb. My eggs are all yours. I'll be first in line to donate all this shit I don't need or want.
But the thing is, right? We aren't bringing it up to be mean. When we bring up the fact that a lot of us still have gynecological needs, or that many of us are still capable of getting pregnant, or that not all of us can get gender-affirming care, let alone healthcare that's still typically seen as being "only for women," it's not because we want trans fems and trans women to feel bad. We were accused of not having it as bad as trans fems, of having systemic privilege comparable or equal to pericis men, and we're providing examples of how that's just not true. That's all.
And maybe it's hard to hear, if the ability to menstruate or give birth is desirable to you, that we'd prefer not to have it, or that it causes problems for us. We aren't saying anyone is bad for wanting what we don't. All we're saying is that it's one of the ways in which we absolutely don't have male privilege. Especially those of us who don't pass or are staying closeted for our own safety.
But I think that's not really why there's pushback against this. It just can't be refuted that trans mascs and trans men are not cis men. We're men or possess masculinity, yes, but we're not cis men. And, as far as a patriarchal society is concerned, men who are not cis aren't men at all. We won't be treated like pericis men by most unless we pass well enough. Even then, the second we're outed, that all collapses.
Society at large still sees me as a woman. A lot of people who themselves are transgender still see me as a woman, too. I feel like trans mascs are held to a weird standard where no amount of gender performance in any direction is enough. If we present too masculine, we're "scary," but if we're not masculine enough, we must not want it that badly or we're "misgendering" ourselves for nefarious purposes.
And I think the idea that trans mascs have identical privilege to pericis men is so alluring because if it were true that we're indistinguishable from pericis men, that would mean it's okay and morally acceptable to not give a fuck about us (I mean, pericis men still deserve a space in the queer community, but conveniently nobody worth humoring is trying to argue that they don't). Our gynecological needs are inconvenient because it pokes a hole in the idea that we're invulnerable and not worth the effort of including in trans activism, but it can't be denied that many of us still have those needs and are still vulnerable to transphobia and sexism. So, rather than try to debate what anyone can plainly see, transandrophobes pivot and frame it as us trying to hurt the feelings of people who can't give birth. It's just one of many things that blatantly contradicts this idea of us being the final boss of toxic masculinity with the power of male privilege in our testosterone warhammers. The only strategy against it is to attack the character of anyone who points it out.
