A Polite Melody

Hi there, I'm Enviri | early 30s | they/them | queer | disabled | freak | My blog name is in reference to my late dog Melody, who will always be part of me.

[a-polite-melody]

It’s legitimately triggering to me, getting people begging for money in my inbox. Especially the ways which some of them do it.

“$20-30 may not seem like much to you”

Oh??? You know my financial situation???

Fuck off.

If anyone’s curious why I basically never answer asks, it’s because my inbox is full of landmines for triggering stuff surrounding financial insecurity and I cannot handle it, and it only gets added to day by day with what are almost certainly 99% scams which are hoping to prey upon my empathy.

[bedroommystic]

much has been said already about the supreme court case and trans rights but today i'm thinking extra hard about trans kids who have been sent into the psych system for any reason, who have to bear the lack of autonomy innate to it but the extra sting of being denied the right to your name and your gender in sex-segregated facilities, by transphobic staff, etc.

i'm thinking extra hard about how we've ended up where we are, with trans kids at the center of so much hatred, because children are not seen as people with interiority or an ability to narrate their own experiences. we've decided it's alright to lock children up for horrible diagnoses that psychs throw around like they're nothing, to strip their autonomy completely and force them through humiliation, invasions of privacy, and endless torment by "professionals" whose power over every waking moment of their lives has no end. these things cannot be separated.

i'm thinking today of every trans child in a wilderness camp, in a residential treatment facility, in psych wards and PHP/IOP programs, especially those whose transness has been tied to unwellness. fuck the psych industry and the troubled teen industry and transphobia forever

[kedreeva]

Still trying to learn about breeding and animal husbandry before I start. Would you breed from a quail that hatched from the wrong end of the egg? Is that a genetic trait or do those things just sometimes happen?

It really depends on why it hatched from the wrong side, and whether it had trouble hatching from that side or not.

A normal, healthy egg from my own birds or shipped eggs that I set within 10 days and pops out on time with no issue despite pipping the wrong side? Sure. Weird choice bud but there's clearly not weakness there.

Same situation except I have to help it out? That's a cull. I don't keep ANY bird I have to help hatch. They are all culls.

Same situation except it only gets out over 24 hours later than everyone else? That's a cull, too. I don't keep ANY quail that hatch later then 36 hours past first pip. The only time I'll keep birds past the 24 hours mark is if the entire bag is late, not just one egg (like the EW last hatch all just randomly took 1 day longer.... weird but okay, maybe their section was in a weird colder spot in the incubator).

Shipped eggs where the whole hatch is struggling? It depends on how bad it is, but shipping can be rough on eggs, and if it's the whole batch, it's either the breeder's issue or a shipping issue (or an incubation issue, but the only "issue" my rock solid cabinet ever has is if we lose power for days), and I may consider helping the batch so I don't lose out on the cost of buying and shipping eggs. But so help me, if their babies suck too, I will wash the whole line and start over. But there's no way to know which way it will go in this kind of situation.

As for whether it's genetic or not... it's PROBABLY not. The usual reason for this is the chick can't turn to position itself (COMMON with shipped eggs, as loose or weakened air cells can give the chick a little too much space to grow and they grow a little too much to turn), OR it doesn't have the instinct to position itself (that would likely be genetic, and uncommon), OR the incubator was hotter than it should be and it didn't have time to turn right side up to reach the air cell before its lungs needed air. Those are mostly environmental problems, BUT a weak chick is a weak chick.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

This phrase has already entered my vocabulary re: media criticism where like. The viewer has a concrete view of what they expect a story to be based on the tropes and cliches they're used to seeing together, and when that doesn't happen, they judge it as a failed depiction of what they assumed it was going to be instead of judging it as what it actually is.

"This show is problematic because the hero didn't kill the villain at the end": When does he steal the bread?

"These two characters who were close friends throughout the series don't kiss at the end! What the fuck?": When does he steal the bread?

"This feels like it's missing a conclusion! Like, the protagonist does bad stuff and because of a critical decision he makes as a result of his major character flaws, meets tragedy in the end! Where's the part where he learns better and brings is love back from the dead and becomes a good guy and gets a happy ending?": When does he steal the fucking bread??

[thetetra]

I heard this out as "When criticizing something, you must judge it for what it is, not what it isn't"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this is why so many of us urge people to get a wider diet of stories

[nightwashh]

he has a name :(

[notgreengardens]

My cousin Throckmorton died?????

[pangur-and-grim]

they’re both so yucky, but they do love each other

[haunted-house-heart]

i was inspired by their ShapesTM

[bookhobbit]

i hate eating food in the summer. why are you making me do this. i should be able to pull a reverse bear gambit where i eat a lot of nutrients all winter and fall and spring and then i sleep all summer. alternately if it's hot outside i should be able to survive comfortably by eating fruit and lettuces and perhaps sometimes ice cream. there should be NO physical consequences for doing this when it's above, like, 65F or 18C.

[bookhobbit]

aestivation. they should let me aestivate. in the manner of certain tortoises.

[ahotknife]

where’s that article by james frankie thomas where he says like “prior to my transition there was only one kind of sex i wanted to have. and i thought i could never have it” because i am about to blow these people’s minds

[ahotknife]

i found it 😌 the article was published on Slate and here’s JF’s commentary on it

[ahotknife]

i have gotten some very odd anons about this post that i’m choosing to ignore. but i am going to double down on this. no i don’t care if girls watch gay porn or imagine themselves as a gay person or wonder what it would be like to have gay sex. so many people imprison themselves by thinking they could never be gay and/or trans. well i’m telling them they better watch out. being gay and/or trans is real. and it could happen to YOU. as a matter of fact i sincerely hope it does

[projectxa3]

from Anarchopuppy

#tbh i think the intense stigma against “straight” ppl “fetishizing” queerness keeps a lot of ppl in the closet

#theres no harm in exploring those feelings in private. indulge in the fantasy and see where it takes u

#dont be a creep to other ppl obv but that goes w/o saying #if id had the courage to confront the ache id feel when i thought abt lesbian sex and how id “never be able to have it” earlier

#it wouldve saved me a lot of time

[kedreeva]

..... watching someone's video of them handling a baby pheasant, stretching out one wing and then the other to show off something. The sound isn't on. I scroll up to read the post.

"My quail-"

oh no

[temporal-acquiescence]

i dont know much about quails but it's clear there's a big problem with what's going on there. Can you explain?

[kedreeva]

Well. she's handling a pheasant and calling it her quail. that's pretty much the entire problem. Definitely that is not a quail.

[badaxefamily]

What I'm wondering is how one mistakes a pheasant for a quail in the first place. To my knowledge quails, even wild species, are quite small while pheasants are large enough to be considered fowls, more chickenish in size. Even if one isn't familiar with the differences in appearance of the chicks, I would assume that a baby pheasant is larger than some adult quail?

[kedreeva]

The pheasant is also confused

BUT pheasants are nowhere near chicken size, even the big ringnecks. They're about the size of a bantam chicken. Which is still bigger than quail! And differently shaped. And. well. Look at that thing lol

I mean I totally get it, first time keeping quail (pheasants) and she very clearly cares a lot about them and is doing her best and I'm sure someone sold her the wrong thing. And newborn pheasants DO look a LOT like newborn quail and are really not that much bigger.

Like these are pheasant chicks

And here's some quail chicks

So I GET IT that she got babies that looked right and now....do not. But that does not stop it from being hilarious from the outside (in the "oh no" way) seeing a post talking about "my quail" only to get to the video and see a big ass pheasant being manhandled like a tame quail.

I hope that she is able to handle the situation with the advice given to her on the thread (including my own), and eventually get the quail she wanted in the first place.

[weirdstrangeandawful]

Out of sheer curiosity, what *is* the appropriate thing to do in that situation?

[kedreeva]

Well, you really only have two options; keep the animals and set up proper care for them, or find someone else who is already set up to care for them. Most people choose the latter, unless they already have setups that can handle them. In some cases, if you have the contact info for the breeder, you can take it up with them, but in this kind of situation it may not do any good. They either knowingly sold you the wrong thing (in which case they aren't gonna do squat about it), or they unknowingly sold you the wrong thing (in which case I'm not sure I would trust their judgement). BUT mistakes happen. Maybe the buyer grabbed the wrong birds, maybe the seller had multiple meet ups they mixed up, or multiple cages and misunderstood what the buyer wanted. Maybe she ordered from a hatchery and ordered the wrong thing or they mixed up packages. Who knows! So worth asking to find out, but personally I'd keep in mind that it might not go anywhere.

In this specific scenario, pheasants take a LOT more space and different care than quail, particularly coturnix. Stuff like using blinders to keep them from killing each other in an enclosed space. Some new world quail like bigger aviary spaces, so depending on what kind of setup she has for the adults, she might be able to adapt it to hold the pheasants better for a while, while she makes new housing or finds them a new home. She might be able to trade someone that has both, or has quail but wants pheasants.

[homeofhousechickens]

How bad is inbreeding with chickens? Like if you had a large flock would you need to replace your rooster with a brand new one often to stop it from breeding with its offspring? Can half siblings breed?

Inbreeding is how you can quickly select for the traits you want in your breeding project or flock. There are correct ways and incorrect ways to do it. If you do it incorrectly you can see immediate nasty consequences quite quickly. With good breeding though you can use the same breeding group for years without outcrossing though it's not recommended to do that especially if your a beginner or already working with a limited gene pool

Basically you only want to breed from healthy birds that don't have any issues, this goes beyond deformities you also don't want to breed birds that don't thrive or struggled at all during the rearing process. You also have to pay attention to your hatch rates because if they get lower then normal that means your inbreeding coefficient is to high and negatively effected the viability and fertility of the eggs.

Here is a study you might find interesting

[trangoldin]

NYC Dyke March 2026

[kedreeva]

Bug helping Princess Roly Poly dig a dust bath in my lawn

[tboy-cock]

they updated the post now, but they fully deadnamed and misgendered missing person luca phoenix. i hope hes found. fuck transandrophobes

[tboy-cock]

a lot of people are bringing up the fact that describing him as a "brown haired brown eyed female" seems to be like sabotage because that doesnt describe luca at all. and to the person who said "gender doesnt have a look and trans guys can "look female" and still be trans guys" thats not what anyones talking about. luca does not look like a "female." luca has a beard and blue hair. when a missing person alert is made, the people making it are supposed to describe the missing person. "a white female with brown hair and hazel eyes" does not describe luca at all. not only are there no defining characteristics (theres tons of people who fit the description of "white female with brown hair and hazel eyes." luca is not one of them) but nobody who is looking for someone described as "female" is going to look at luca and think that he's the missing person. they could've said that he had short blue hair and a beard, and that wouldve been a good description, but imagine the picture wasnt there, and all you had for a description was "a white female with brown hair and hazel eyes." and then look at his picture. do you think that anybody would know that he was the missing person by that description alone?

its intentionally non descriptive. at best its someone being bad at their job, but more likely theyre trying to sabotage attempts to find him, probably because hes trans. if he was a trans man of color they probably wouldnt have even posted it at all

[vexatiousvic]

This is the point:

Nobody would be looking for Luca.

[johannestevans]

It's really funny when doctors and medical professionals don't like, meaningfully understand how comorbidity works. "oh, it's very unlikely someone would have all these rare conditions at once"

yeah. maybe that would be fair to say about say, discrete viruses. but about syndromes?

like. the conditions of the human body don't know that they're taxonomically discrete. they don't know that they have different names or lists of symptoms. if a human body has a consistent issue with say, its heart rhythm, or its inflammatory response, or its glandular response, or immune system

the reason that ehlers-danlos syndrome (EDS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), postural tachycardia syndrome (PoTS), IBS (irritable bowel), autism, and even shit like coeliac and PMDD or endometriosis overlap is bc like. these are largely inflammatory issues or issues with the fascia

It's not "what the fuck, how can this person have all these different things wrong with them", bc these are largely like. syndromic definitions of how x bodily issue manifests in different systems, structures, or organs of the body

many of these conditions change in definition over time

and that's bc they're studied and understood more over time where people more meaningfully understand underlying causes and issues, such as through hormone or genetic profiles, or largely like. immune response

it's also how "rare" conditions become understood as more common over time

idk like. not to be on my soap box on this specific issue but this is what happens when you don't teach medical professionals philosophy beyond the basic ethical shit. the reason philosophy is important to medical study is so you don't mistake etymological or philological issues for scientific ones

[madanimalscientist]

I got told by a -medical geneticist- that it was extremely unlikely for someone to have both celiac and EDS because both were so uncommon so therefore I probably didn't have both, despite clear physical evidence to the contrary. I pointed out that there's enough people out there that even with low incidence of both, even assuming there was no link, statistically there were going to be people with both just by basic probability and that 'rare' didn't mean 'doesn't happen. I also pointed out I had 2 younger half-sibs with celiac and a cousin with celiac, T1D, and EDS-h, so odds are that no it wasn't as unlikely as she thought especially given that kind of family history.....She did not in fact care for my attitude. I didn't care for her lack of understanding of her own job, so the feeling was mutual.

[vaspider]

Lol I definitely have both.

[hasufin]

I think many medical professionals are very narrow-focused on their specialty, forget the rest of the body exists, and don't think of it all as an entire system.

I recall reading the book A Slow Death: 83 Days of Radiation Sickness. It's about a nuclear worker who received a lethal dose of radiation due to a prompt-critical accident while making nuclear fuel. As the title implies, he died over the course of 83 days.

What struck me about the book was, it's pretty clear his DNA was just shredded and nothing was really replacing itself effectively. His organs and systems failed at a rate consistent with their typical cellular lives. At each step of this, they brought in specialists to manage the problem: he wasn't producing erethrocytes, they brought in hematologists. His stomach lining was breaking down, they brought in gastroenterologists, &c. Each one had this faith that if they kept him going past this crisis, his body's natural healing would take over and he would get better. But looking at his body as a whole, it was obvious from very early that was Just Not Happening. Each specialist was looking at it as "Oh no, my one part is failing, I need to get him through this and the rest of his otherwise healthy body can pull him along!" except the whole damned body was going because that's what a lethal neutron flux does. And somewhere around day 30 or so they should have said "I'm sorry, this is not going to work, we are switching to palliative care" and he could have died a week or two later, but that's not how specialists think.

The body doesn't know we've divided it up into organs and systems and specific types of cells. It's just a body and each part affects everything else.

[lifewithchronicpain]

Yeah I have a cluster of diagnosed conditions that are comorbid and it was like a cascade, one problem, then another, till I’m permanently disabled. :/

But I also want to point out that people have a horribly understanding of percentages. If a condition affects only 1% of the population, then at 8 billion people on earth, that’s 80 million people with the condition.

[transandrogyny--turtlebug]

Whoever tagged one of my posts recently as "maybe you're fat because you're disabled" really shifted my perspective big time. Ive always had people blame my weight for my pain, but that's not even true. It just confirmed what I was feeling, so thank you

[softerseasons]

I think this is something important that often gets lost in fat liberation discussions that I've personally seen, though I'm so sure it has been said a lot and I'm just not in those particular circles.

It does not matter why someone is fat, they deserve respect and basic human dignity as much as any other living person.

However, when you dig specifically into the attitude of "well you're a Bad Fat bc it disabled you", the people using this argument to make people hate themselves (bc let's be real, that Is a major goal of it) often can't comprehend or accept the reality that becoming or being disabled, or getting temporarily sick, can often lead to weight gain, due to the simple nature of how our bodies work.

We tend to have this mental image that if you're seriously ill that you won't be able to eat and you'll waste away, but the human body is a complex organic machine and it does not run on simple binaries, ever. It is not "Sick = 0, 0 = Lose Weight". The body has a million ways to lose control of the efficiency of its own processes, and many of those lead to weight gain.

And that's before even getting into the really obvious stuff like how restricted movement leads to a more difficult time being in a calorie deficit while still being properly nourished (you know, like, common sense 101 stuff). When you add the complexities of each individual human body to that...

Well, this wouldn't need to be discussed at all if people like that actually cared about fat people, though. It's definitely an understanding that has helped me, though, with my own compassion for my own body and the way it holds on to fat, even in the moments when I am still overwhelmed by the way society has taught me to feel about myself due to my size.

[softness-and-shattering]

Im not convinced caloric deficit is something to strive for anyway.

If weight loss was a goal, if maintaining a certain weight was a goal, caloric deficit doesnt even work for weight loss. The body isnt a calorie in calorie out calculator, energy and digestion is a super complicated process. Fat people can die of starvation and malnutrition, can have eating disorders including restrictive ones. Without becoming skinny in the process. The whole calorie exercise weight loss weight gain model is total bunk. Maybe it seems to work that way for some people sometimes, its certainly not universal, and gaining and losing weight in constant attempt to be smaller is what causes all sorts of heart problems etc associated with fatness - its not the fatness its the instability.

Second Im highly unconvinced that "caloric deficit" can possibly coincide with nourishment. If youre nourished there cannot be deficiency, there has to be enough.

I said one thing and then edited stuff in where was I -

Some meds cause weight gain. Inability to exercuse or move due to pain causes weight gain. Sometimes. Its a factor, not a simple math equation. Some people just are fat, just have that body type. Most people gain weight as they get older and their metabolism slows. Weight and size are neutral, our body size and shape differ as do our faces as do our fingerprints and our personalities and our favourite songs and worst fears, we're organic so we're all unique its just how it is.

Most importantly, whatever reason anyone is the shape and size that they are, we all deserve respect and dignity and treatment, including when sudden fluctuations in size or weight might be signs that something is off or needs adjusting. We deserve to be listened to and taken seriously and not dismissed. We deserve to be nourished. We deserve healthy relationships with our bodies with food with movement, we owe each other the same grace to not nitpick each others food and movement choices and clothes and bodies.

Im yes and'ing, Im agreeing and taking it further - weight and size have all kinds of factors, and are all morally neutral, and we all deserve to eat and enjoy food without worrying about "deficit", and we deserve zero discrimination for any of it, and care when necessary. Its not "what can we do we cant lose weight", its "bodies are great, and unless youre worried the gain or loss is a specific symptom or reason to worry, its a neutral thing that bodies change over time."

[mulchmouth]

Im going to hold your hand when I say this. It is not realistic to expect yourself or your family to be able to survive solely off of food you have foraged or grown in a garden. People with more knowledge and experience have tried and failed. What do you think happened to all of those communes in the 60s? Most of them failed. Famine and malnutrition have been constant companions to humanity until industrialized farming and food supply lines came along.

It feels like a uniquely American capitalist take to assume these traditions will make you completely self sufficient. You need a lot of people, a lot of time, a lot of knowledge across a lot of subjects, and a lot of luck to provide for everyone's nutritional needs.

So should you even bother trying to be more self sufficient with your food? I argue yes. Foraging and gardening are fun and will teach you so much about many things. They are deeply rewarding activities that can supplement your diet. There are herbs I haven't bought in years because I grow my own. There are dishes I can only make with foraged ingredients because I can't get them in stores.

You may not have the power to do everything, but that doesn't mean your efforts are wasted. Getting 5% of your nutritional needs from food you have grown or foraged, even for a season, is a massive accomplishment.

[rosstmcd]

It takes approximately 2,000 calories a day to fuel the average human. A family of four needs roughly three million calories in a year. You're not going to get that from a backyard truck garden and a couple of chickens.

But you can get variety, flavor, and vitamins even if the bulk of your calories are coming from somewhere else. And if you grow more of something than you need, it gives you something to trade or gift to other people.

[bitchesgetriches]

I have chickens, bees, fruit trees, and an absolutely massive garden... all in a major American city. My spouse also hunts and fishes regularly.

In a good year, these efforts account for maaaaaaybe 15% of our food intake.

We still rely on grocery stores for the majority of our calories and nutrition and that's ok. It doesn't mean the garden is a waste of time or that hunting is a waste of effort.

The first eggs all of my niblings ate as children were from MY chickens, that I lovingly raise in a healthy, humane environment. I start every morning with a mug of black tea sweetened with honey from the bees that industriously pollinate my garden. I can't remember the last time I bought salsa, marinara, or bone broth, but I had to build new shelves to store my abundance of canned food only last week!

Growing or foraging your own food is not a wasted effort even if it only replaces a tiny percentage of your grocery store haul. It's an enriching (and time consuming and difficult) hobby that's good for you and good for your community.

[transcyberism]

secured credit cards are the ultimate scam and it's actually fucking gross that you basically have to get one in order to build credit if you have any demerits on your history at all. like oh yeah I carefully saved this lump of cash by spending responsibly. let me just lock it up in a thing that charges me interest for borrowing my own money instead of paying me like any other form of investment would. It's literally parasitic. my bank has probably made at least $1000 off me in interest fees at this point, probably a lot more than that. for the privilege of having them hold $1000 for me and give me a little of it when I want on a piece of plastic. but I had that already, it was called debit card and it was free...

[transcyberism]

AND they still fuck your score if your utilization is too high! Like great I could have just kept that $1000 in my bank account but because it was On Plastic you're telling me you're gonna hold it against me that I spent it on shit I needed? You're telling me when I didn't have a job for a year I was supposed to just leave that be while I was losing weight from cutting my grocery budget? See that nice 10% utilization, $900 available balance staring me in the face when milk and bread and cereal and some cold cuts so I can eat breakfast and lunch next week is $30, and do nothing? Otherwise that means I'm a Risky Spender and I can't be trusted with loans? For being fucking hungry?