Hi there, I'm Enviri | early 30s | they/them | queer | disabled | freak | My blog name is in reference to my late dog Melody, who will always be part of me.
Itās legitimately triggering to me, getting people begging for money in my inbox. Especially the ways which some of them do it.
ā$20-30 may not seem like much to youā
Oh??? You know my financial situation???
Fuck off.
If anyoneās curious why I basically never answer asks, itās because my inbox is full of landmines for triggering stuff surrounding financial insecurity and I cannot handle it, and it only gets added to day by day with what are almost certainly 99% scams which are hoping to prey upon my empathy.
Iām being a responsible pet owner and bringing both dogs to the groomer today for a professional de-shed bc itās supposed to be 100f the next few days and i have barely made a dent by brushing at home. rip my wallet.
I'm eternally grateful that polyamorists have created or popularized a lot of terms to describe common experiences such as feeling joy at seeing your partner happy in another relationship (compersion), societal pressure to follow a specific progression or series of milestones for a relationship to be considered Serious (the relationship escalator), and a partner of your partner (metamour).
anyway. this post brought to you by the acquaintance who asked if I was "fluid bonded to both my nesting partners." next time just ask who I'm fucking.
I agree and it especially rubs me the wrong way when it's used like a euphemism for "having sex." Just say sex. If you mean unprotected sex specifically then say unprotected sex.
I could be wrong, but I suspect "fluid bonded" SPECIFICALLY came out of gay male culture in the wake of the AIDS epidemic. But given the awkward steps queer vocabulary has been making lately, I would not be surprised if the polyam crowd picked it up as a cute way to say "fucking" and not, like, "we have made specific informed decisions about our shared sexual health."
It's definitely existed as a term for a while now, so I wouldn't be surprised, but weird stuff happens when one community's slang escapes containment and loses its context.
It absolutely came out of AIDS-era safe sex culture and it does have a specific meaning beyond simply "fucking". fucking doesn't mean fluid bonded: you can be fucking through barrier methods, for example. you can also be fluid bonded with someone you aren't fucking, for example by sharing sex toys. It's an infectious disease harm reduction term intended to clarify levels of risk sharing between people, rather like "quarantine bubble" was.
Genuinely, fluid bonded is just a quarantine bubble for your genitalia. Totally cromulent term that has its own specific meaning, and anyone using it just to mean "fucking" is betraying that they don't know what they're talking about with this terminology.
i hate when rich people condescend with the whole 'money can't buy happiness' argument like listen. just because buying your fourth car didn't fill the void in your deluded disconnected-from-reality life doesn't mean not having to worry about food/ bills/medicine wouldn't greatly improve the mental health of literally everyone else on the planet
Fun fact: they've done studies and money DOES buy happiness, but it tops out after a certain amount (nowadays around $500,000)
So yeah, having food / bills / medicine & a fair amount of leisure covered by income DOES buy happiness, but excess wealth depletes the effect exponentially.
Another way of putting this is that money doesn't buy happiness, but relief from financial worries ABSOLUTELY buys happiness, and there is a dollar value on that.
Belphie was getting saggy from the heat (it's 35C today), so I brought him in off the catio and locked the door, and now he's scratching at it and crying. little guy wants to get cooked so bad!
I don't have a ton of photos of this species: this sweet old man was the only one anywhere near me. He's since passed, so I wanted to get photos of him online. All he wanted to do the times I saw him was relax in the sun, so that's how we'll remember him.
The Animal Photo Reference Repository is an independent, permanently open-access project and funded entirely by donations. Artists creating derivative or transformative works (without AI) have blanket permission to use all photos in the repository as references.
I can't believe this is even a debate but even if someone's disability is genuinely fully caused by their own actions they still deserve accommodation and community
Yes this applies to substance use yes this applies to reckless behaviour yes it applies to purposefully injuring yourself.
If someone disables or injures themselves on purpose to such a large degree then they need aid regardless of how you feel about their actions
Hereās a community reminder that the New York Post is owned by Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox News, and is generally considered to be an arm of the far rightās propaganda machine.
They just do a slightly better job of pretending theyāre centrist or liberal than Fox News, because their goal is not to sway conservatives, but to sway everyone to the left of the far right.
i think that, when it comes to discussions around bigotry, way too many people are happy to approach it as a competition - a way to prove that their perspective is the correct one.
i think that, instead, there are ways to approach it that do not come down to arguments about who's right and who's wrong (and thus, a bigot), but instead take into account the fact that the topic is nuanced and complex enough that from different perspectives, it can look very different. that conversations around these topics should be approached not with the intent of "prove the other party wrong" or "prove i am right", but that people should be willing to listen in good faith and go in with the intent of walking away with a more nuanced and informed picture of things, due to having gained something from the conversation.
ultimately, a lot of the models and frameworks we use to discuss queerphobic and gendered forms of bigotry are attempts to describe a complicated, hypocritical, and contradictory set of systems that have complicated, hypocritical, and contradictory motivations behind them. is it any surprise that they struggle to capture the whole picture, or that it can look very different from different perspectives?
there's a couple examples of the kinda stuff im thinking about under the cut, which i put in because this post was getting kinda long.
for reference, im gonna be referring a lot to sexism (about the treatment of men and women), cissexism (about the treatment of cis people and trans people, and heterosexism (about the treatment of people who are straight and people who are not).
here is an example of what i'm thinking about above;
many people seem to regard "sexism" and "misogyny" as more or less synonymous, when i would regard there as actually being some nuance.
i would describe "misogyny" as being about the ways in which the box society has called "men" is broadly elevated above the box society has called "women". meanwhile, "sexism", i would describe as being more about the ways in which those boxes are constructed, what they're shaped like, and the ways in which people are punished for failing to conform to their assigned box.
or, to summarise, sexism is the way in which two boxes are out of inward-pointing spikes, and misogyny is the way in which one of them is set above the other.
the thing is, while seperating them is useful for breaking experiences and how society treats people based on gender, they also overlap to a significant degree- and "misogyny is a subset of sexism" is a view i would struggle to argue against.
for a broader example- i would argue that, while it is useful to consider cissexism and heterosexism as broadly independent from eachother and sexism, and doing so can allow for more nuanced discussion about people's experiences and their intersectionality, they are both heavily rooted in sexism.
a lot of society seems to regard orientation and a person's body needing to be "correct" for their gender as necessary parts of correctly conforming to it, i think. consider how frequently stereotypes and bigotry towards cis gay people lean towards portraying gay men as feminine, and gay women as masculine, in ways intended to be degrading. the way that trans people's bodies are so frequently used as "proof" they aren't really their actual gender.
here's the thing; while, to my eye, much of this has roots in sexism... i would be kind of surprised if there were not decent arguments for viewing things the other ways around here- that sexism and heterosexism are rooted in cissexism, and cissexism and sexism are rooted in heterosexism- as well as each of them being similar and overlapping but independent. and while i consider much of cissexism and heterosexism to be fundamentally based in sexism, that does not mean i consider them to be subsets of it.
Having a speech impediment is honestly such an odd experience. What do you mean Iāll use writing whenever possible because when people hear my voice they automatically assume Iām unintelligent and much younger than I am instead of listening to my words and realizing my potential?
Okay but word cousins is a real as fuck thing to call them. If they rhyme or they have the same starting syllable or they live next to each other in my mind they are cousins and at constant risk of being swapped for each other. Speech impediment gang we deserve one thousand dollars per stutter
A Polite Melody @a-polite-melody - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
