Barney’s Version by Mordecai Richler
1997, 417 pages
Before his brain began to shrink, Barney Panofsky clung to two cherished beliefs. Life was absurd, and nobody truly understood anybody else. Even his friends tend to agree that Barney is a 'wife-abuser, an intellectual fraud, a purveyor of pap, a drunk with a penchant for violence and probably a murderer'. But when his sworn enemy threatens to publish this calumny, Barney is driven to write his own memoirs, rewinding the spool of his life, editing, selecting and plagiarising, as his memory plays tricks on him - and on the reader. Ebullient and perverse, he has seen off 3 wives - the enigmatic Clara, whom he drove to suicide in Paris in 1952; the garrulous Second Mrs Panofsky; and finally Miriam who stayed married to him for decades before running off with a sober academic. Houdini-like, Barney slides from crisis to success, from lowlife to highlife in Montreal, Paris and London, his outrageous exploits culminating in the scandal he carries around like a humpback - the murder charge that he goes on denying to the end.
Kathleen: I HATE TO SAY IT (I don’t) BUT I REALLY DON’T FEEL LIKE THIS BOOK LIVES UP TO THE HYPE. This book seems to be universally adored, has been translated many times, and won the Giller Prize in 1997 but I just didn’t find anything to connect with in it. I found the plot and the characters consistently boring, and I really didn’t care if Barney murdered his friend or not, it could have been AT LEAST 100 pages shorter (HOW MANY TANGENTS CAN WE GO ON IN ONE BOOK? IS THERE NO LEGAL LIMIT?) and honestly, Barney is just an asshole. I don’t mind a disagreeable character as long as they have at least one redeeming quality, but I can’t seem to find one here. Most of the jokes in this book are made at the expense of women (mostly Barney’s first two wives), or minorities, or the people who work for Barney, and only very occasionally at the expense of Barney himself. The writing around Barney’s dementia was ALMOST interesting - Barney constantly tries to remember what you use to strain spaghetti (a colander) and the names of the seven dwarves (Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey, but Barney can usually only remember 4 or 5), but sometimes the writing becomes too scattered make me feel like it’s worth continuing for any reason other than to be able to rant about it later. The ending also felt insulting - there are almost as many holes in the logic as you would find in a colander.
Róisín: Okay so I had to double check when this was written and couldn’t believe how late? It seems way older. The tone of it is super 70s in a lot of ways but especially Barney himself. I feel like I actually really enjoyed the tangents and all the characters we meet along the way but at some point I just stopped caring about Barney (and his version)! To me the ending was a very like “The surgeon is his mother!” gotcha moment, but also I was kind of fine with it.
Kathleen: I get that this has a lot of EXCITING THINGS ABOUT CANADA including making fun of Toronto (which is Canada’s favourite hobby, next to making fun of people who live in Vancouver), but I’m just kind of over all of it. Also, too much hockey! And too many masturbatory fantasies about Barney’s teacher from grade school! And too many references to try and make Mordecai sound smart and well-read! No ones cares, Mordecai!
Róisín: Girl this was super lacklustre for the last book on the list. I could definitely have turned 30 without this one. (Or if I read it earlier in the list)
VERDICT: Should it be on the 30 before 30?
Róisín: I’m fine with it being here.
Kathleen: No! And, frankly, I’m annoyed that this was our last book! It is no one’s fault but our own but I am DISPLEASED!
OUR NEXT READ: We’re done! We can turn 30 now!