Wade Wilson meets Spider-Man under unusual circumstances and blackmails/bullies/charms his way into friendship with the superhero. As their relationship deepens, Spidey inevitably becomes stupidly overprotective due to his past experiences. Wade is so helplessly charmed by it that he omits the tiny little detail that he’s also Deadpool and thus quite immune to harm.
When Spider-Man finds out, instead of getting mad, he gets even more protective when he realizes how regularly Deadpool gets shot, stabbed, and maimed.
(OR: The one in which Spider-Man falls for Wade Wilson first and Deadpool second, because Wade deserves some loving, too. This has been on my to-write list for way too long. So many fics, so little time!)
The first time Wade Wilson meets Spider-Man, Spidey is mostly naked.
Sure, he has his boxers on, and one of his legs is stuck in his red-and-blue Spider-Man suit, but Wade doesn’t really notice either of those pieces of clothing at the time. All he sees are the delicious abs, long limbs, and miles of pale skin, stretched over lean, functional muscle.
While Wade isn’t exactly a good guy by anyone’s standards, he does try to make a point by not being a total asshole. He knows, in his brain, that right now the only halfway decent thing to do would be to avert his eyes. Maybe he should even turn on his heels and walk away. In fact, Wade means to do just that, but it’s proving a bit challenging to tear his gaze off the hot, gorgeous twink, who appears to be undressing in the alley that Wade uses as a shortcut between his apartment and the nearest corner store.
The guy stares right back, frozenly, still mostly naked. His wide-eyed, horrified gaze is glued on Wade. His mouth moves as if he means to say something, but no words emerge.
“Don’t stop on my account,” Wade says accidentally, waving his hand a little in encouragement.
The guy lets out an indignant sound, raises his hand, and shoots a burst of sticky web straight in Wade’s face. And just like that, Wade’s brain finally catches on that he’s not just meeting the hottest guy he has seen in his life, but that that guy also happens to be Spider-Man.
“Waitwaitwait!” Wade cries out as he tries to struggle the sticky web out of his eyes. “It’s you!”
There are rustling sounds in the alley now. Wade wonders if Spidey is still undressing, if he’s going to be fully naked in seconds, and if Wade will miss the entire show. Or maybe he’s already leaving, ready to disappear into the city before Wade has had the opportunity to even process all this.
“I saw almost everything,” Wade corrects. “But that’s on you for undressing in a very public place.”
“It’s not a public place! Nobody comes through this way. Ever,” Spider-Man replies testily.“And that’s not what I meant, and you know it!”
Wade finally gets the web mostly out of his eyes. He blinks a few times blearily, and then he looks at Spidey. Except it’s not Spidey at all. There’s no sign of the superhero’s suit anymore. An ordinarily dressed guy (who happens to be extraordinarily cute) stands in front of Wade, looking all sorts of annoyed and embarrassed.
Wade means to say something clever and charming, something that will sweep Spidey right off his feet, but once again, staring dumbly is the best he can do.
“Holy fucking shit,” Wade says. “Spider-Man.”
“I am not Spider-Man,” Spidey denies quickly.
Wade tuts. “Lying is unheroic. I saw the suit. Among other things.”
“I just… I’m just a copycat!” Spidey lies unconvincingly. “I dress up as Spider-Man for fun.”
“Now, you see, if you had claimed that you’re a weird fetishist pervert, I might have believed you, considering the circumstances, but a copycat? Not with abs like those,” Wade points out. “I know I’m repeating myself, but holy fucking shit, Spidey. No wonder you can pull off skintights like that.”
“And you call me the fetishist pervert here?” Spider-Man squeaks. His face is turning an interesting shade of red. “At least I’m not the one—!”
“Hey, it’s you who gave me a free show!” Wade protests. “I’m just an innocent bystander who got an eyeful.”
Spidey adjusts his backpack. The embarrassed blush on his cheeks deepens, but he visibly forces himself to be cool about all this.
“You can’t tell anyone,” Spidey says. “As I said, this never happened.”
“If I pretend this never happened, what do I get?” Wade asks promptly, curiously.
Spidey makes a face. “Nothing, besides a good, warm feeling for doing the right thing.”
Wade snorts. “I don’t get warm feelings for doing the right thing. Gimme something, Spidey.”
enough about the timeloop I wanna hear about the post-timeloop.
person who just got over the horror of being trapped in a loop and settled into a comfortable routine...but then the timeloop breaks and they struggle to reacclimatize. person trapped in a loop for years who grieved their loved ones—who are suddenly back and acting like nothing happened (because for them nothing did). teenager who aged physically and mentally during the timeloop and now they're so much older than they're supposed to be. random strangers who were trapped in a loop together relieved to get away from each other at last, but feeling oddly bereft of familiar company. service worker who is pissed as fuck to have to go back to work
person who lost their impulse control suddenly living in a world that has consequences again. person who lost their brain-to-mouth filter and now just says things they can't take back. person with choice paralysis because the future was certain and safe and familiar for so long and now who knows what the fuck will happen next. gimme timeline re-entry dysphoria!
#can hear the david attenborough narration now#“there is safety in numbers- but even in flock the wild sabrina's are on edge- poised to defend themselves from even the slightest threat”#“the first disruption of their social bonding is a false alarm- merely a fellow sabrina eager to join the flock”#“the second disruption however comes as a surprise to everyone”#“have the sabrinas finally attracted an actual threat?”#“no. it's a lone miku.”#“this strange newcomer poses no danger to a flock of this size and seems in fact eager to join with them.”#“but the display dance the miku has learned is completely unknown to the sabrinas.”#“the flock takes a moment to study the interloper”#“and then. in almost perfect harmony”#“the sabrinas obliterate it” (tags via @a-dauntless-daffodil)
My favorite was on the week this happened, watching Sabrina after Sabrina post their POV of the event. And then the Miku posted. Oh, the yelling and the slightly different angles.
vaporwave
ellievsbear
pixelskylines
jbbartram-illu
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
dededos
2087
annaxmalina
yousharknotpass
