Spellcasters Choosing Their Subclasses
For spellcasters, unlocking their subclass marks a fuller realization of their magical potential. But have you ever considered just how differently each full caster class goes about choosing their subclass? Where Druids just pick a Circle that they feel in harmony with, and Fighters decide which Martial Archetype they want to embody, and train accordingly, things aren’t so simple for Sorcerers and their Origins, or the Otherworldly Patrons that seem to choose their Warlocks, instead of the other way around. Let’s take a look at the full caster classes of the arcane, and the means by which they make this important decision.
Wizards
The Wizard schedules appointments with the Department Recruiter for each school of magic, listens closely to their pitches, and takes detailed notes for later reference. Then they weigh their own affinity for certain schools of magic against the prospects for future earnings. They act on logic and practicality, and are the closest thing to a modern university student choosing their graduate programs.
Department Recruiter: “The Abjuration program here at Karsus U is among the best anywhere, easily matching any such program outside of Thay. Remember, abjuration has several practical applications, and those applications are recharged easily and organically. And hey, Counterspell never really goes out of style, amirite?”
Wizard: (taking notes) “Mmm-hmm…”
Department Recruiter: (slaps roof of Arcane Ward) “Besides, this bad boy can fit so much fucking Abjuration in it.”
Sorcerers
Things are much more difficult for Sorcerers. Since their magic springs from their Sorcerous Origin, it might seem like their choice of subclass has been made for them. However, the same extreme attitudes that lead to cohabiting with dragons polymorphed into human-ish form, or interbreeding with Storm Giants can also lead to many other interests, affinities, fetishes, and irresponsible behaviors that create the Sorcerous Origins they pass down to later generations. Add this to the power and eccentricity that seems intertwined with mighty sorcerous bloodlines, and the need for skilled genealogists becomes clear. Every great sorcerous family needs one of these specialists, not only to record official events, like marriages, births, deaths, inheritances and the like, but also to keep meticulous track of rumors, scandals, extra-marital dalliances, by-blows, and “unusual interests.” The heir to a bloodline’s Sorcerous Origin through one ancestor’s Storm Giant wife might also be heir to another forefather’s Wild Magic affinity, thanks to her Slaadi lover, giving that heir some agency in choosing a subclass…IF a good genealogist is on hand to inform them of that fact.
Genealogist: “I mean, of *course* your ancestors, the von Drachenschtuppers have draconic blood in your veins, just like you do. But your…” (flips through a huge tome detailing a single century of the mighty bloodline’s deeds and eccentricities) “…great-great-uncle on your mother’s side also manifested… let’s call it an “affinity,” for clockworks, gearworks and, umm, automatons. And you could certainly decide to explore that legacy, instead.”
Sorcerous Heir, seeking a subclass: “Great-granduncle Klaus von Robutschtuppen! He did leave some very…unusual blueprints behind when he passed away. Hmm…”
Genealogist: (subtly turns to the blank pages at the back of the giant tome, quill in hand) “…and have you studied automatons in any depth, my Lord?”
Warlocks
Whether forced into the murky moral world of Pacts and Patrons by ceaseless ambition and a thirst for power, or simply struggling to survive in a hostile multiverse, almost every potential Warlock comes to meet their Otherworldly Patrons in a state of desperation and ragged malleability. Rare indeed is the Warlock who signs a Pact with a Patron whose outlook, morals, goals, or methods complement his own. For those lucky few, the potential for greatness can be staggering. It’s a Patron’s market out there, as prospective Warlocks learn all too quickly.
Edgelordio, unknowing candidate for Warlockhood: (to self) “Okay, Edgelordio, you just need to calm down and take stock of the situation. Let’s see…
“First, I’m trapped in an extra-dimensional prison that’s slowly filling up with Flumphs, and the Flumph-line is already up to my nose…
“Second, my family’s village lies right in the warpath of Skunk-Or the Fragrant, Troglodyte-tyrant of all al-Qadim, and his bloodthirsty Horde of Aromatic Extinction. If I can’t find help mighty enough to turn them aside, then my mother, my father, my eighteen elderly aunts and the neighbor-girl I’ve never had a chance to kiss are all doomed…
“And third, the arch-lich Vecna himself has accused my dog, Puppy-Paws McGuffin, of having piddled on his Carpet of Flying, and he has sworn bloody vengeance upon both myself and my dog!
Think, Edgelordio! There’s got to be *some* way I can get out of all this trouble in one, dramatic, backstory-related moment…”
(suddenly, with an arcane crackle and a singular whooshing noise, a perfectly round portal appears amidst the endless Flumphs, and an oddly round man, eyes pulsing with occult might, reaches through to grasp Edgelordio’s hand)
Edgelordio: “What? Who? How?”
Oddly round arch-mage: “Hello, young fella. My name is Otiluke, and you work for me now! Hope you like 1d10 Cantrips, and I really hope you absolutely love spheres!”
Edgelordio: “I guess…I mean I don’t mind them…”
Otiluke: “Hot damn, good enough! And awaaaay we go!”
(both pop out of existence, reappearing in front of a Notary Public, along with a 360 page Pact, to be signed in triplicate. Otiluke produces a quill and waggles his eyebrows)
Otiluke: “Eh? Ehhhhhh?”
BARDS
Music is a primal force, and the ability to work magic through it should never be taken lightly. On the surface, Bards may seem as mundane and straightforward when picking subclasses as Wizards do, but that is a misunderstanding. Certainly, Bards have many different Colleges to turn to, all united under the banner of this or that Bardic University. Yet their College recruitment directors aren’t given to the same sort of salesmanship to increase their student rolls the way the various schools of Wizardly magic do. Instead, their directors are genuinely motivated by what College will best help a Bard meet his long-term goals, strengthening the Class overall, and reinforcing certain aspects of Bardic reputation enjoyed by all Bards, benefitting both present and future Bards, and even other spellcasters in ways they don’t suspect…
Bard, choosing a subclass: “I mean, I’m just happy to be included! Nobody ever remembers that we’re full casters…”
Bardic College Director: “Eh, let them forget. That just makes our job easier.”
Bard: “And by ‘our job,’ you mean…”
Director: (winking) “You know exactly what I mean.”
(there is a moment of silence, then both bards shout the same thing at once)
Bard and Director: “GETTING HOT, INTERSPECIES ACTION!”
(High-fives and boo-yaas are performed)
Director: “After all, all those ‘XX-Souled” sorcerers have to come from somewhere, amirite?”
Bard: “I wonder if the von Drachenschtuppers have a djinni-fancying aunt yet…”
Director: “Ooh, a ‘von Djinnischtuppen,’ eh? I’d go for the College of Lore for that. Genies in general looove them some storytellers…”
