TVSTRANGERTHINGS
hello vonnie
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art blog(derogatory)
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
occasionally subtle
RMH
wallacepolsom
roma★
Not today Justin
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
JBB: An Artblog!
izzy's playlists!
No title available
Peter Solarz
sheepfilms
seen from Netherlands
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@3chosierra
I think one of the gentlest things in the world is when a friend just gets your weird little brain. like you say half a sentence and they finish it. you reference something incredibly niche from seven years ago and they’re already nodding. they understand your strange vocabulary for emotions that don’t have real words yet. it’s being seen and known and still loved. maybe especially because you’re known. god. what a gift.
turning twenty-two next month. Last summer i was seventeen. It turns out you were seventeen last summer forever. When i turned seventeen, the summer before that i was twelve.
I’m such a “yay <3” person like unironically a hip hip hooray type of personality
What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?
When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.
what they don’t tell you is you have to be so so careful when you listen to music because sometimes ☝️ it will reflect your experiences
Hi pooks
gmorning shnoockums < 3
So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"
While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.
Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.
Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".
So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.
"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.
"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.
Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.
The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.
The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"
"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.
"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.
"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."
It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.
"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.
Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"
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If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.
apparently there’s tiktok discourse about whether or not F1NN5TER is queerbaiting. there is no such thing as real people queerbaiting gnc cis people are not queerbaiting get off the internet i bite and tear and devour you ok?
Didn't we JUST go over this when 18-year old Kit Connor was forced to come out of the closet because he was accused of queerbaiting?
Finnster says he's a man and he just likes to challenge gender norms by dressing as a gamer girl.
He doesn't claim to be trans. He doesn't claim to be queer. He's just an effeminate man challenging what masculinity can look like. And anything he doesn't wish to share is none of our business.
Believe it or not cross dressers aren't queer baiting. They just have a gender expression that's outside of the norm.
-fae
for the love of god queerbaiting is a MARKETING tactic. made by people who make ADVERTISING for PRODUCTS. it doesn't apply to people.
I am truly in awe of the penis poll and the snail race (aiming to draw) and stuff like that. Not because Tumblr finally gave us polls and the first thing we did was use them as a medium for cooperative games that aren’t polls. But because they keep succeeding! The E poll aside (excused because I think a lot of the respondents didn’t understand the aim), these polls are really really good at getting the desired result.
Which is amazing when you think about it, because the respondents don’t see the result until they click. Until we participate, we don’t know how long the dick is! We don’t know how big the balls are! We have no idea which snail is ahead! We have to make a guess on what other users have done and behave accordingly. “Oh yeah, but there’s a lot of respondents, just using probability you can – ” do you know how much variation you get in probability? And yet every time I see those snails, they are NECK AND NECK. That penis always has appropriately sized balls that are approximately the same size, to within about 4% of the poll! You’d think everyone would play it safe and just make a dick, but no – people knew it needed balls, they made a guess as to whether other people were giving it balls, and the proportions worked out! It could’ve gone the other way; lots of people could’ve been like ‘oh I be no one is doing the balls’ and they could be massive balls with a micropenis. Or one testicle could’ve gotten all the attention by accident, and we could’ve had a single-ball cock on our hands. But respondents are predicting each others’ behaviour with amazing precision, giving us results far more precise than you’d expect from random generation over so many different polls! Those snails are at EXACTLY FIFTY PER CENT every time I see them!
I am so proud of our collectively drawn dick and balls you guys.
Honestly it’s starting to weird me out.
This is what I said, there’s got to be a fascinating game theory explanation
[ID: A screenshot of a post from Tumblr user brain-deadx0 with a two-option poll attached. The post reads, “Fuck it. Make this 60 40”, and the poll results are exactly 60 to 40 percent. End ID.]
Favourite vegetable?? Pls vote. trying to prove smth!!
1105 votes • Poll ends in 5 days 9 hours
🥕 carrotjesus Follow
OP clearly yuor followers are biased. Carrots are objectively better than broccoli of all things and i think it's problematic that you called carrots stinky it's really manipulative. also tomatos aren't technically a vegetable. maybe try thinking before posting passive agressive polls next time
🤡 jizzardtower Follow
shgdfdsg these tags. yes. chicken wings my favourite vegetable
✴ cadylady2002 Follow
Haha. I just realized the #eggplant looks a little like a d***. That is so #funny !!
👁 shreksbellybutton Follow
🦷 pigeonsarecool Follow
CHICKEM WIMGS
🍵 souperdouper Follow
shoutout to soup. won't stop making shoutouts for soup until one hears me and comes walkig over. i want soup.
i feel like a man lost in the desert having oasis hallucinations
fanfic writers will consume a whole ass franchise and be like "that was fun, now i will proceed to do it better"
#or worse. or weirder. or exactly the same but their blorbo is allowed to say Fuck
doomed by the narrative and haunted by the narrative and a secret third thing (narrating the narrative)
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I RESPECT
[ID: A screenshot of a tumblr tag saying “#Kuzco”. End ID.]
if this post gets over 10000 notes i’ll change my tinder bio to “just a sword grandma looking for her pikachu man”
I wanted to reblog this but the images from the original are gone
edited to include alt text. ID in the reblogs.
yall know what a dorcopsis is?
that’s an italian greyhound
[ID: Two photos of a dorcopsis, a somewhat large creature standing on two legs, with dark grey fur, a white belly, a dog-like snout, and a rat-like tail. The first picture is taken from the side. The second picture displays the creature head-on, and it is very chubby, to the point where its head appears comically small in comparison. End ID.]
people have the audacity to equate vanilla with “plain”. the fruit of a delicate orchid pollinated by hand. worth its weight in solid gold and beyond. the fussy black-and-cream jewel of the american continent. you sick son of a bitch. imagine a world without vanilla. no blondies. no pound cakes. no crème brûlée, no coke floats. no cream soda. no satiny new york-style cheesecakes. no warm apple pie à la mode. no velvety complexity to bring out complex notes in chocolate desserts. no depth of flavour in your cakes and cookies and milkshakes. all in just a few precious seeds or grams of paste or perfumed teaspoons of liquid black platinum. what you don’t understand could fill the library of alexandria seven times over and then some. you ungrateful bastard i’m going to kill you
