[3xitplan]

i can hear you calling my name

down the dark hallway

and you are nothing still

all the same

a black hole of suffering

that you did create

watch me as i blossom

in the waste of your decay

[3xitplan]

I tear out the tattoo

I scrape

I dig

I fill it with mud

I remember the smile on your face

I forget the taste of your lips

Your phantom finger trace

Lost forever

In the dip of my hips

[3xitplan]

I give it all to you

Little bird

So few

Make it out of the arena

To find love

So true

Let us do it all again

In the summer

In the end

When this life is over

My love

My friend

[3xitplan]

You used to touch me like I was holy

My muscles would melt into your quiet ease

You would count the stars running down my spine

Whisper love in my ear like a new dawn breeze

You would remind me of the beauty

That I hold to your despise

You used to touch me like I was holy

When I felt like I could not survive

[3xitplan]

I wake up drunk

And my first thought

Is not of you

But you stand before me

Screaming out

For crumbs of anything

Shards of glass

Tears of nothing

For something new

I remind you of our suffering

How you handed it with glee

Through an unhinged door

Ripe with regret

For him and her

Or them and she

Hanging from our family tree

You tumble with yourself

Still hoping for a little more

The old us

Or a new we

Now left to rot

On an empty shore

[3xitplan]

what the hell are we waiting for? when love is a cheater behind a red door. we grab the leftover love as we fake it. remnants from a better off before. we blame the other for questioning the moment. the actions we say we deplore. we sacrifice self for the ego of others. choke down tears like a chore. we remain stoic under pressure. suffer quietly alone, just for lore. we sell ourselves to the silence. smile when blood hits the floor. we die slow for penance. and tell our secrets to the whore.

[3xitplan]

Pull the trigger

When you talk about them, I wanna gouge my eyes out with a pen. I wanna jump from the highest roof I can find. I wanna slit my wrists in front of your eyes. I wanna kill kill kill your spirt, your pride. When you talk about them.

I wanna know the you, you were to them.

I want the youth, the truth, the you from back then. I want red rocks, nights in tents, and shows with no end. I want the you that they got, or was it all pretend?

Are you the you, you are now, or just better to tend?

I want the you, you were before, from better than when.

I want the you, you are to me, another girl* friend.

[3xitplan]

He fights against the powers that be

Just to defy silently

But the pushers arrive quietly

To deliver his heart back to me

In the silence I hear our history

Love so sweet it welcomed thee

Into the arms of us and we

[3xitplan]

Maybe in another universe

The sum equals the whole

And the planets stop spinning

If just for a moment

To open their arms

And welcome us home

[3xitplan]

He smelled of ash and pine

Wrapped around my pinky

Parked in the driveway of my mind

Sweet daydreams filled the days

Of when his mouth discovered mine

I miss the him from before

My fall turned into a crime

[3xitplan]

You were the sun

In the western sky

Bright and glowing

Like the white of an eye

But now the light burns out

Upon the seekers of the why

While my world keeps spinning

Always reaching for the high

[3xitplan]

one toad in the hand

is worth ten in the garden

wrap her up in cellophane

as her heart begins to harden

wash away the sins of the day

deliver her to the warden

bury her in your mothers backyard

her love is our pardon

[3xitplan]

Little boys

I am dried flowers

Hanging on your wall

That you forgot about

From last October’s fall

And you reach out for your sake

When life feels too real

But you never consider the quake

Left upon your heel

I remind you to be kind

To the pillars who hold you up

While you walk amongst us blind

But we always fill your cup

[3xitplan]

I watch you fade into the nothing

I smell the fear on your breath

Sickly

Sweet

Like a slow burning death

I hear the words

Caught in the back of your throat

Mangled

Tangled

Prophetic phonetic

Semantic bullshit

Choking

Coughing

I feel you slip off the boat

Siphoned into the undertow

You tread the water

In slow motion

Like you borrowed time

Grasping

Reaching

For anything that’s mine

[3xitplan]

The bleeding heart drips sap

Into my healing hands

Red and black and sticky

Like the love

You’ll never feel again

From a distant

Foreign friend

I steal back what’s mine

While you’re left alone

Dying slow

In someone else’s bed

[3xitplan]

dirt stew is now masala

spring sprung upon morning dew

cardamom sprinkles the quiet bystanders

there’s nothing else

just me and you

twilight edges the clouds for show

blankets the knowing from seekers told

colors blotted fresh and new

midlife lovers on a shelf