Tw: abuse, police brutality
Yesterday I was told I was no longer welcome in my home because of what I’ve been sharing on social media while being the daughter of a police officer.
There was no “kill all cops” rhetoric, or “shoot your local police officer” chants. Simply just that BLM has the right to protest, that things only got violent in Boston because of police trying to limit their right to protest (look up the order to go home, then the closing of MBTA stops and using force against those who didn’t go home fast enough). I also shared things about Target being able to recover, and that meme about corporations looting their customers on a daily basis.
While my mother tells me “violence is never the answer” I asked her why last year, she told me “he was trying to make you a better kid” when I asked why my father threw me down the stairs when I was 17, and then strangled me- all while she watched in silence.
She tells me I was “NOT abused as a child” 11 years after she got me a rag for the nosebleed I got in result of my fathers hand to my skull- because I lost the key to a padlock.
I was “NOT abused as a child” while I wake up from dreams of my sister and I being dragged from underneath my bed and then beaten for ??? I was probably 6 so it’s hard to remember his reason why.
Maybe there were no DCF reports, or bruises for my teachers to ask about. But the nightmares continue, of both witnessing and experiencing abuse.
I am no longer welcome in my home, I am unable to see my grandfather who is now in hospice. I am unable to have the birthday party for my stepdaughter who is turning 3 in 4 weeks because my fiancé and I live in a small apartment (it was only going to be grandparents and aunts/uncles with social distancing in use).
While this hurts, it is fine that I am no longer welcome in a home that promotes violence. A home with broken door frames from the force of my father busting it down. A home that promotes “All Lives Matter” while completely missing the point of Black Lives Matter. A home that says “I’m not racist but..”
I will continue to be an ally, I will continue to voice my opinion, and I will continue living where I am now.
I have been afraid to voice my opinion in the past years, and would try to excuse police behavior in the past. But I’m fed up with police brutality and people have the right to protest on the streets without fear of the enemy attacking them.
Remember: when you say “not all cops are bad” look at the statistics of self-reported domestic abuse by police officers. It’s better to say “not all cops are bad, only about half of them are.”
When you say “my uncle is a cop and he’s a good man” ask him what he’s done to bring justice to the innocent black lives that have been lost to police brutality, and what he will do to prevent more.
When you say that cop “feared for his life” ask the next black person you see how they feel when they’re jogging through the neighborhood, or selling a loose cigarette, or walking home from the convenience store with an iced tea and skittles.
Don’t be an asshole. Look at the message that’s trying to be sent.
