flux capacitor.

21, dazed & confusedintelligence intrigues me. I strive to be the better version of myself. Pop culture, potstickers, and clothes. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

[500daysofkayla]

chem.

There is no denying chemistry. It is literally coursing through your veins as you interact with others. It’s the most natural thing you can observe. 

Having chemistry with someone doesn’t come along very often for me. So when it does, I have no idea how to handle it, because there are so many other factors to consider when deciding whether to pursue something or not. 

But, as a note to myself, I think I shouldn’t overlook how much chemistry is a part of my life. 

[500daysofkayla]

firsts.

at the same time, I feel like me being so lost right now is a blessing. Reflecting on my current situation, I just kind of switched my perspective. I was just thinking “I have no Idea what I’m doing, this is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this”

And I’m actually thankful that I still have “firsts”. I still have so many first times ahead of me. First kisses. First dates. First college graduation. First time actually getting an A on a calc exam. First time doing something crazy at a bar. 

I have yet to experience so much that it made me stress a little less about the uncertainty of the first i’m going through now. 

[500daysofkayla]

self control

Okay, and here i thought I had good self control. But when it came down to it, I opted for the route that goes against so many of my morals. fck . 

[500daysofkayla]

stupid.

I feel truly stupid. 

In every sense. 

Naive, academically inadequate, ditzy...I thought by now I’d gain some perspective. But every time I’m through with what I think is a defining moment-- a turning point-- I get around the corner from that supposed turning point and I get smacked in the face. 

[500daysofkayla]

the head and the heart.

I’m practical. I’m calculated. I like to plan things out. I only do things when they make sense; and, at times I’ve admittedly judged people for being so stupidly rash because they just had to follow their heart. 

So to this day I haven’t made a decision with my heart solely in mind. Now that I think about it, I have not made one big life decision based on what I really wanted to do. I guess it’s because I’ve always thought about the steps following my decisions, and the repercussions of doing something with the heart leading the way are often overwhelmingly daunting to me because the heart is so fucking stupid. 

But lately I can’t really ignore my feelings. This gut-wrenching thought crosses my mind every night. But if I even thought about taking action, everything would just go to shit. I’ve tried to ask for advice, but everyone just advises me to do the right thing and keep doing what I’m doing–things will get better….and yet.. I still have this feeling that something isn’t quite right, and that I know what would make it better. 

The problem is that what would make me truly happy would screw over a handful of people. I’ve already done that once before, and for the same fucking reason. So do I take action or stay put? 

[500daysofkayla]

They say give an addict a pack of cigarettes and tell them to smoke it in one sitting, they’ll get so sick of it they want to quit. Well, i hope something like that happens. Although I don’t smoke cigarettes, I hope that soon I’ll get so sick of my vices that I’m liberated from their white knuckles.

[ahurtlamb-deactivated20200202]

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I bet they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize there are more important things than what people do all day.”

(via stability)

[pussysista-deactivated20170521]

[woodmeat]

this world dont deserve tpain

[500daysofkayla]

this is why i love tpain

[quotemadness]

Acting like you don’t care is not letting it go.

Penelope Douglas (via quotemadness)

[500daysofkayla]

Trying to get comfortable in my own skin~

[500daysofkayla]

What a shame that you vibe with someone who you used to be

[grace--upon--grace]

[thehappynegro-deactivated202501]

[studybuzz-blog]

white + studyspo! || more on my studygram

[500daysofkayla]

this is sexy

[rumineely]

Rumi in the Elara dress 🌟

[thelovewhisperer]

People think they know you. They think they know how you’re handling a situation. But the truth is no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you’re lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don’t know what’s going on inside your head—the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn’t their fault. They just don’t know. And so they pretend and they say you’re doing great when you’re really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.

Follow for more quotes about life (via thelovewhisperer)

Hm

[500daysofkayla]

Timing is everythjng

Maybe we're on the same wavelength but a different frequency.