541

Hematolagnia.

[541lvr]

Personal cute facts~. Mhm, introducing myself. ㅤꨄ︎

꒰ Personal .꒱

He/It ꒰ Androgynous .꒱ , Kutay

I'm a photographer, and in three years I'll be a bartender. I like taking dark aesthetic photos.

ꨄ︎ . Demiromantic.

꒰ More personal .꒱

I have strange obsessions. They affect my life more than they should. For example, my hair. I've been growing it for years. The straighter it is, the blacker it is.. the better. Ah, I have a disgusting obsession with clothes. If I notice even the smallest flaw, I can never wear them. That's why buying clothes is difficult for me. My style is different. To me, "special". I don't want to wear clothes I don't like. Being forced to wear them drives me crazy. I also hate the sun. And bright places. ꒰ Nyctophilia .꒱

It's not pleasant to always talk about the things I hate. I want to talk a little about the things I love too. I love the smell of vanilla. I love scarves anything that covers my neck feels good. I always have a bandage on my neck.

꒰ ꨄ︎ . ꒱

I like it when people have different,weird or creepy tastes that are unique to them, being yourself is more valuable than trying to be like someone else. And, I like showing my thoughts. I write whatever I feel so that someone can understand how I feel. It's valuable.

꒰ Warning .꒱

Gøre, S♡dism, M♡soch♡sm, Stalking, St♡ckh♡lm Syndrome, N♡crøph♡l♡a, Obsession, Trauma, Ab♡se, Forcing, V♡ol♡nce, N♡n-c♡ns♡ns♡al, De♡ths and C♡⁠nn♡⁠b♡⁠l♡⁠sm.

[541lvr]

I want to break my darling. I want him to become dependent on me, I want him to be nothing without me. I don't want him to be able to do anything without me. Not even go to the bathroom. And no matter what happens, I want to be the one who loves him. The one who comes home every evening, cooks for both of us, feeds him like a my baby, bathes him, and changes his clothes. Even like that, he'll know he's wanted. Loved, desired.

I'll be a good boywife for my husband.

[541lvr]

Ah, I believe love changes people. It makes them sick. People who claim to be cold and heartless can end up loving someone more than themselves. Someone who says they don't care about anyone can end up thinking about the person they love until their head starts throbbing, until they can't think straight anymore.

[541lvr]

I know I'd feel better living an isolated life, as long as my darling loved me obsessively and intensely. That's my freedom, that's what I romanticize.

[541lvr]

i would let you wear the teeth and knife one , need to find some more outfits that'll go well with them , so far only one outfit for the teeth and star clip

Ah, how kind you are.

Hmm, you need emo or grunge clothes.

Like this. I love them.

[541lvr]

I literally had a dream last night that you were my dad it had to be the weirdest dream ive had in a WHILE

Was I your dad? what was happening in your dream? Hmm, let me guess. Daddy iss♡⁠es?

[541lvr]

i love them so much , want to get more

Ah, I like the kn♡⁠fe and teeth one. How cute.

[541lvr]

well i guess cutecore would also be all bloody and cute , want to get band tees , but i don't like summer dresses , but i can check out dark gothic type dresses like you suggested , maybe when i got back to the mall one day , or go to a dark boutique , kinda found one where i live

i can show the hair clips when i get back from the lake !! i do like lace things

Ah, I hate cute things. They disgust me.

Mhm, you can show me, dear.

[541lvr]

Keeping my darling at home by force. I'll make him love me, need me. Ah, that's normal. I'll keep him with me forever through psych♡⁠l♡⁠gic♡⁠l pr♡⁠ssure,c♡⁠erc♡⁠on,ab♡⁠se, and manipulation. My precious marks. My precious bru♡⁠ses all over his body. He won't need a phone. He won't need to go outside. Bunnies are always obedient, and they can't leave without their owner's permission, right? Ah, true. They can't. He'll wait for me in our bed with his collar on, just like a cute little pet, forever.

[541lvr]

i love alt / grunge / ect dark aesthetics , i used to own lacy underwears , i wouldn't say im picky , but i don't wear like wearing dresses as much i love wearing skirts , i want to buy more pretty skirts and leg warmers , i accidentally worn my new leg warmers upside down , only because i was too excited , even worn my new fishnets i bought today , sadly it ripped some but i guess it looks pretty , i know i want a belly button piercing , saving up to get one !

I have black lipstick and dark red lipstick that's a mixture of lip gloss kinda , i only wear mascara , chapstick then had a lipgloss and make it dark , i have eyeshadow but i don't wear it much , my hair clips are pink and goes well with my shirt since it had black and pink on it , it's a my melody and koromi shirt , gonna change it into a crop top off the shoulder tomorrow possibly , going to the lake tomorrow ! <3

Ah, how bad. You don't like dresses? you should try vkei or victorian style dresses, dear.

Pink hair clips and a my melody/kuromi shirt? you're like a cute little kid. Ah, way too "cutecore".

[541lvr]

ew exes , i hope you're okay , and took a picture of you ?? that's so fucking disgusting , im sorry kuki , you're a good friend too !

i love lemon flavored sweets ! can make a lemon flavored cheesecake for you now sigh , went to hot topic and Spencer's , got a dark outfit for once , i like dark outfits , most of my outfits are light and bright , was gonna get cross like clips but i saw black but it was too much diamonds on it , don't really like much shiny things

i don't really have a type of style or aesthetic

used to have a type in guys , a weird type

what type of person are you into or do you not have a type ??

Ah, dear. I remember your style was a mix of different things. It's cute that you can wear whatever you want, whatever you like. Ah, I like talking about fashion.

Ah, I do have a type. I like stern, masculine men. I mean their face. In style, I find men who dress in vkei/grunge/goth/dark attractive. Lately, I've been drawn to mafia style. Dark gothic suits are beautiful.. Ah. I love victorian/gothic suits. A black umbrella, long coat and dark suit.

Ah, I want to talk about makeup too. I only wear black eye pencil. For my lips, blackberry lip balm. Rarely, I wear lipstick. I like deep bl♡♡d-red lipstick.

Ah, I'm also thinking about getting an eyepatch. But I have side bangs covering my left eye, you know. And I want to buy more dark colored lace und♡⁠rwear, Ah. The things I want are always so expensive. Dark purple looks so attractive on und♡⁠rwear.

[541lvr]

What are the last 5 songs you listened to?

Ah, what a cute question. I'll check for you, dear.

꒰ 1 .꒱ Sweet Illness of Mine — Lifelover ꒰ most recent .꒱

꒰ 2 .꒱ Drown — Strange Boutique

꒰ 3 .꒱ When You Sleep — My Bl♡♡dy Valentine

꒰ 4 .꒱ Gyroscope — Boards of Canada

꒰ 5 .꒱ Alice Practice — Crystal Castles

[541lvr]

i just wanted to show some appreciation and say i love your blog <3 ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ i struggle to find yanblrs i really connect with, but i've come back to yours time and time again. thank you :D

- 🌌

I'm glad, my dear. Thanks. ♡

[541lvr]

i feel the same way with documentaries , they always have like a long tale or how or why the person became a killer , and yes like a kid , happy , at least i am getting to know a lot more of your likes and dislikes , kuki , i enjoy that , it means im getting to know you as a person , not like a obsession , no , trying to find more ways to explain , i like orange juice , my favorite ice cream is green tea , don't like actual tea , too sweet for me , i don't like overly sweet things , but i can give you a slice of cheesecake if you want me to !

tell me kuki , how's your week been going , mine is a lot less stressful , but i rather know how's your days been ♡

Awh.. Milo, thanks, dear. You're a good friend.

Ah, I like documentaries too. They're interesting, and they keep my attention. Mhm, eating cheesecake together would've been cute. Hmm, orange juice is too sweet. You should try fig juice, or grape juice. Fig juice tastes like wine. I like it. But grape juice will always be my favorite. Ah, I like cookie, caramel, and lemon ice cream. I've never tried green tea ice cream. I hate tea.

My days have been normal. I've been playing a lot of games. I met up with my closest friend yesterday. Ah, pfft. I saw my "ex". He noticed me too. He took a picture of me, then tried to talk to me. It's disgusting. If those people hadn't been there, I would've seriously str♡⁠ngled him. Ah, I really should've smashed that phone with my boot, pfft.

[541lvr]

i see , i see , i always had that question pop inside my head , was just curious , was meaning to ask you , but my depression has eased up some , even getting more out of the house , going to the mall and the thrift store , gonna buy some clothes probably , maybe , and some sweets ! i love sweets !

i think you like bitter things , you seem like the bitter type , don't know why , but i do like some bitter things , my favorite sweet is cheesecake , maybe coffee cake , i adore coffee , i sometimes drink monster energy

im just rambling again , skipping my ADHD pills so i can't take it tomorrow and it already worn off hours ago , watch all the evil dead movies , now watching happy death day and gonna watch the second one , i love horror classic movies and sometimes horror movies from the early 200's to the late 2010's and then the early 2020's , i like old mask slasher movies the best , but i like the rob zombie Halloween movie

Your depression fades, and you become like a little kid. Happy. And you talk so much. ꒰ It's okay .꒱

Ah, I like thrift stores. Cheesecake, Mhm. I love it. Coffee cake tastes good, but it's a little bitter, pfft.. Hmm, my favorite monster is the black one, but I've tried the others too. Do I seem like the bitter type? true. But I don't like bittersweet desserts at all. I hate chocolate milk, chocolate cake, and anything chocolate. Fruity, creamy things are much better for me. I'd rather have a milkshake or grape juice than coffee.

Ah, medication.. Mhm. I haven't watched the movies you mentioned, dear. I only watch psychological dramas. Movies that are close to sn♡ff interest me. I think they leave a much stronger impression than horror movies.

[541lvr]

hihi kuki , still on my vacation but been watching horror movies for three days straight, when to the water park and then the creek (gotten a bunch of pretty big bruises on my legs and one on my arm, sad they're fading), big boulders literally did a number on me, kept tripping and sliding, then went into another creek and just basically floated down a stream for a few hours with my cousin and her friends

i always wonder, are your posts just like for someone randomly or someone you're attached to heavily , im just curious that's all , i do like to know what's on your mind , don't know why

Hai, Milo.

I hope your depression has eased a little, and that you're feeling better. You probably are, I can feel it. Ah, my poor dear.. pats.

As for your question, I mostly write about things I've experienced, or my own feelings. The posts where I use "He" aren't about anyone. I'm not thinking about anyone when I write them.

[541lvr]

The thought of him talking to other people, of other people being able to see him, makes me sick. I feel like I'm going to thr♡⁠w up all my org♡⁠ns and choke on my own bl♡⁠♡⁠d. Ah, I'll make him eat the org♡⁠ns of every person he talks to.

The only thing on his mind should be me. Ah, eyes on me. Every time he disobeys me, I want to leave him in a bathtub filled with water, Mhm, ti♡⁠d up by his hands and legs, watch him str♡⁠ggle in the water. His life in my hands. The only thing that little, adorable mind of his should ever need is me. He can't live without me. Ah, or else he will d♡⁠e in my hands.