I go by Cici, and I'm in a long distance relationship. I am studying to be a counselor while I work full-time, my beloved is studying to be an aerospace engineer. We both enjoy playing video games and his separate hobby is programming stuffs, mine is writing and I'm interested in photography. I manage this page on my own and want to post about things that interest us and updates on our LDR relationship. (=^∇^=)♥︎
I’m stuck in this August haze, of things moving too fast, too slow.
I dread to see the results of a week, much less those of a year.
For as of late, it has been nothing but too much time spent on things of no value, and being afraid to make a leap into the unknown.
It will be four years soon... I don’t want to feel like I’ve wasted time.
Please don’t make me feel that way.
Regardless, I do what I can do on my own, because that’s all I’ve ever known, and that’s all I can do.
I dread to see the results of a week, much less those of a year, in this August haze.
“When I hold you like a flower, I hold you like an hour glass
I hold you like you're the only thing I love
When I hold you like a flower, I don't care how the hours pass
I hold you like it's the only thing I know”
Can’t sleep much, a lot happened today. We had a heavy conversation, and I know my insecurities are to blame for a lot of what has been going on.
I’m really grateful to have someone as patient as you by my side.
My insecurities have stemmed from a ton of childhood trauma, and my past relationships were the icing on top. You know these things, but I still struggle with them. What hurts the most is that I’m still fighting through them, and you have to deal with that fallout.
I appreciate the fact you haven’t given up on me, you never ran away.
It’s so new to me, the way you are with me.
I love you so much, I feel safe alongside you.
In 7 days, I’ll be in your arms once more. I’ll feel safe and warm once more.
I’m excited to see you again. I’ll show you just how much I appreciate you, I promise. We get to celebrate your birthday together again, and I really hope to make you that cake this time around.
I really hope everything works out in the end, with my new job.
We have a goal of closing the distance as soon as we can, after all.
LAX was the place. The place we’d see each other face to face, away from the pixels of a screen that allowed us to meet without meeting, to exist in the same time and space without doing so.
But not this time. This time, we would be sharing that exact time and space.
I was so nervous that morning, picking out what to wear, how to style my hair...
Would you even care? Would it be the same butterflies I’ve been feeling as we talked that would flutter, seeing you in person?
I hoped fervently as I drove to the airport that it would be the case.
Pacing in the terminal exit. Delays with customs.
No sign of you as my phone died in the middle of a fleeting conversation we had, the first one in a few hours since the start of your flight.
I had no idea whether I wanted to sit at the lounge or stand unwaveringly around, hoping that you’d pop up amidst the small crowds making their way out. As the last form of entertainment I had, my iPhone Nano played melodies through my earphones, probably in a vain attempt to keep my nerves in check as I stood on the lookout for you.
Nothing could really calm me from these feelings.
And then everything stopped.
Your light reddish brown hair was the first thing I saw, as you timidly walked to the center of the terminal, seemingly scouting the exit to find me.
Those butterflies were in full swing.
I had to get to you. Making my way to you, unable to find me from the sea of people that were also there, waiting in anticipation for their loved one, I moved to the second row, calling out your name. I waved over to you as you turned in my direction, our eyes meeting. You were so timid!
Your pace to me was quick, but careful; you were looking back at your luggage as you went.
I was just a bubble of emotions, running to you, hugging you all of a sudden.
You didn’t let go of your luggage, probably baffled that I had hugged you within minutes of seeing you in person. -smiles-
And so, we began two memorable weeks in Los Angeles; our first visit.
This year has already become another roller coaster ride.
It’s pretty wild, how life pans out sometimes.
You never know how things are going to work out in the end.
You don’t know what you’ll wake up to some days.
I am more confident now in my voice, I have learned quite a bit of lessons, and have become more grateful for my life.
In one month, I’ll be in the arms of my lover, with my health regained.
It will be tough, but.. I have fallen in love with my best friend, and I’ve survived everything life has thrown at me thus far. My resilience and strength will pull through.
We’re making plans again for this summer! He’s going to school, and I’m actively looking for a better job that will allow him to move over here later on, as well as having it improve my life situation. I am pushing for something that is still in the coffee industry, because this is what I truly love doing.
When I visited him during Christmastime, he was so happy.. He honestly couldn’t believe it, I had hid it so well and I had just come by as if it was the norm. It was something pretty magical, we couldn’t let go of each other when we hugged the first time, prompting his brother to tease us. :)
I can’t wait to see him again.
It’s always so cathartic to look back on the memories we’ve made.
Releasing those feelings of missing you through the distance, because we’ve done so much even while apart.
We’ll make it through this trial of distance, it’ll pass..
You are worth it.
It’s been a while since I posted here! A lot has happened since then.
I work as a barista now! It’s always been a thing I’ve wanted to do for a while now.. Coffee and tea are a huge thing to me, so this is something great. It’s an awesome job at a school setting, so I also get the vacation time I need to see him. : )
Even when I didn’t have this job, I went ahead and saw him last year. It was amazing. Sadly, it will be a yearly thing.. He’ll be here in the summer time again. I can’t wait.
Another upcoming thing is that I bought a flight to visit him during Christmastime, but he doesn’t know it yet. It’s going to be a surprise! : )
In 3 weeks, we'll see one another for the first time. We've gone through so much in the past weeks; I haven't posted much here. It's okay... The excitement and nervousness is huge, but it's happening.
5,518 Miles Apart @5518milesapart - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
romaincrisis
origamiaround
titsay
dededos
germansingergirl
theartofmadeline
kaledo-art
jacobvanloon
