Love and Other Words | part one
PAIRINGS: Anthony Bridgerton x Female!Reader
WARNINGS: slow burn for romance, but a lot of smut, yearning anthony alert, friends to lovers, smutty smut smut, fingering.
WORD COUNT: 4,063k
this is my first smut pls be nice
-------------------------------------------------------- Anthony had been sat behind the large mahogany desk in his study for hours now, poring over letters and correspondence related to the vast Bridgerton estate. The responsibility weighed heavily on his shoulders, as it always did. The weight of his responsibilities seemed to grow heavier each day - managing the estate, guiding his younger siblings, navigating the treacherous waters of the marriage mart on Daphne's behalf. It was all becoming rather overwhelming He sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose as there was a light knock at the door before it opened to reveal his mother, Violet. She smiled softly at her eldest son, taking in the weary lines etched into his handsome face. "Darling, I thought you might need a break," She said gently, setting down a tray with tea and some small sandwiches. "You've been cooped up in here for hours. Surely the estates can survive without your constant attention for an afternoon" Anthony leaned back in his chair as he shook his head slightly, a rueful chuckle escaping him. "I appreciate your concern, Mother, truly. But there is simply so much to be done. With Father gone and now having to guide Daphne through her first Season..." His voice trailed off as he ran a hand through his dark hair, a gesture of frustration. "I cannot leave my duties, not even for a moment's rest. The future of this family rests upon my shoulders." He gestured to the stack of papers before him. Violet's expression softened with understanding, tinged by a hint of worry for her son's well-being. "Very well, Anthony." She nodded her head, turning to leave the study before pausing in the doorway. "The L/N's are coming for tea today. You will join us for that at least?" Anthony lifted his gaze once more, simply giving his mother a stiff nod in reply. "Yes, mother."
-------------------------------------------------------- It had been a few hours and Anthony remained busy as always, his head low and nose buried in whatever work he was busying himself with. He had been so distracted that he had even managed to drown out the loud shouts from Hyacinth and Gregory running down the hallway and the hustle of servants and staff alike cleaning the house for the dinner later on in the evening. Lost in thought, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a sharp rap sounded at the door. He cleared his throat before calling out for whoever it was to step inside. It was you, who opened the door. You offered him the same smile you always did, sweet and simple but it managed to captivate him all the same every time you did it. The two of you had been friends for years, ever since your mother became Violet Bridgerton's friend in the ton. That must have been ten years ago now, at the very least. "Y/N?" He said, surprise evident in his tone. A genuine smile curved his lips as he rose from his chair and moved to greet her properly. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" You stepped further into the study, a gentle smile playing on your lips as you curtsied politely. "Good day, Anthony. Your mother asked me to come and fetch you, We don't wish to eat without you." The dinner, of course. He had almost completely forgotten, if not for you he would have remained in his study, buried in the work he was sure would turn him grey by his thirties.
It was then when your eyes searched his face, a mix of concern and something deeper swirling in their depths as you stared at your childhood friend. "Are you okay? You look rather stressed." Anthony's expression softened at her gentle concern, a rare vulnerability flashing in his eyes before he quickly shuttered it away. "I appreciate your thoughtfulness, Y/N, truly. But I assure you, "I am quite alright. Merely… preoccupied with my duties."
He moved closer, drawn to your comforting presence almost against his will. The scent of your perfume, something light and floral, teased his senses and made his heart clench oddly in his chest. "You needn't worry yourself on my account. I am more than capable of handling whatever challenges arise."
Even as the words left his mouth, Anthony knew they rang hollow. In truth, the pressure of his duties and the weight of his family's expectations threatened to crush him at times. But he could never admit such weakness, especially not to you. At his response your brow furrowed slightly as you studied Anthony's face, seeing beyond the carefully constructed facade to the exhaustion and tension lurking beneath. You reached out, your fingers brushing lightly against his arm in a gesture of comfort and familiarity. "Anthony…"
Your voice was soft, laden with genuine care and a note of tender reproach. "You cannot bear this burden alone forever. Even the strongest of men need support sometimes." You took a step closer, your eyes locked with his, willing him to let you in, to share the weight he carried. " I am here, always. Not just as your friend, but as someone who understands and cares for you deeply. Please, let me help you shoulder this load, even if only for a little while." Anthony felt the warmth of your touch seep through the fabric of his sleeve, igniting a spark deep within his chest. Your earnest words and the unwavering sincerity in your gaze threatened to crumble the walls he had so carefully constructed around his heart. He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly tight with emotion.
"Your friendship means more to me than I can express. But this is my cross to bear, my duty to uphold. I could not possibly allow you to take on even a fraction of the burden I carry."
Despite his words, Anthony found himself leaning into your touch, craving the solace and strength he always found in your presence. Your heart ached at the raw vulnerability in Anthony's voice, the glimpse of the man beneath the stoic exterior. You squeezed his arm gently, holding his gaze with unwavering intensity. "We have been friends for years now, Anthony. You can talk to me, you know."
You then chuckled, rolling your eyes as she took a small peek at all of the work on his desk. Your gaze shot up to his before piling all the letters up and placing them in a neat pile in one of his drawers. "Forget about that. Let us focus on you. What do you normally do to relieve your stress?" Anthony watched in stunned silence as you efficiently cleared his desk, a bemused smile tugging at his lips despite himself. Your boldness and disregard for propriety never failed to both astound and endear you to him.
"Relieve myself?" He trailed off, realising he didn't quite know how to finish that thought. You were right, of course. What did he normally do to relieve stress? The answer that sprang most readily to mind involved the warm, willing body of a certain opera singer named Siena Rossa. But he certainly could not utter those words aloud, not to his innocent, pure-hearted friend.
A faint blush colored his cheeks as he looked away, trying to think of something, anything else. "I suppose I haven't given it much thought lately. My duties tend to consume most of my hours." You tilted your head, studying Anthony with a curious expression. "Hmmm, well maybe you should start giving it some thought." You suggested, moving to sit on the edge of his desk. Your skirts rustled softly as you settled yourself, crossing one ankle over the other. "What about riding? Or perhaps a round of cards with Benedict and Colin? Sometimes a bit of friendly competition can be quite helpful for the mind." Anthony's eyes widened slightly as you perched yourself on his desk, your skirts fanning out enticingly. He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the sudden tightening of his throat at the sight. Good God, what was wrong with him? This was Y/N, his dearest friend since childhood. He shouldn't be reacting to you like some green boy overcome by base urges.
Clearing his throat, he forced his gaze back to your face, nodding along as you spoke." Riding does help clear the mind, I'll grant you that. And I do enjoy a good game of cards with my brothers."
He took a step closer, drawn to your warmth and vitality like a moth to a flame. Your breath hitched slightly as Anthony drew nearer, his proximity sending a shiver down your spine. You uncrossed her ankles, letting your legs dangle off the edge of the desk as you gazed up at him. "Well, there you have it then. A change of pace is exactly what you need. And I'm sure your mother would be thrilled to see you enjoying yourself for once instead of working yourself to the bone." Anthony's gaze dropped to your legs as she shifted, the movement causing your skirts to ride up ever so slightly. He felt his mouth go dry at the tantalising glimpse of smooth skin. Dear Lord, he needed to get ahold of himself. These were hardly proper thoughts to be having about his longtime friend.
Swallowing thickly, he dragged his eyes back up to your face again, taking in the way your hair framed her delicate features, the sparkle of intelligence and caring in your eyes. In that moment, a dangerous realisation crashed over him. When had you become so breathtakingly beautiful to him?
He reached out, almost of their own accord, to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. His fingertips brushed against your cheek, lingering perhaps a moment longer than strictly necessary. Your eyes fluttered closed briefly at the sensation of Anthony's fingers grazing your cheek, a pleasant tingle radiating outward from the point of contact. When you reopened them, you found yourself staring directly into his intense gaze. Your pulse began to quicken.
Something had shifted between them in that charged moment, a crackling awareness that sent heat rushing to your cheeks and pooling low in your belly. You licked her suddenly dry lips, watching as Anthony's eyes followed the movement, darkening with a hunger you had never seen directed at yourself before.
You suddenly cleared your throat, averting your gaze. "Your family are waiting.. 'Tony." Anthony's breath caught in his throat at the unintended intimacy of the nickname. He was now acutely aware of how close they were, the heat of your body seeping into his own.
"I… yes, of course." He managed, his voice a low rumble. "We should… join the others."
And yet, he remained rooted to the spot, his hand still cupped lightly under your chin, thumb brushing feather-light strokes along your jawline. The urge to close the scant distance between them and capture your lips in a searing kiss was nearly overwhelming. What would you taste like? Feel like? The thought alone made his heart clench. Your pulse raced as Anthony continued to caress your face, his touch setting your nerve endings alight with sensation. You knew you should pull away, put some distance between you, before things went too far. But you were frozen, utterly captivated by the smoldering intensity in his eyes, the barely restrained passion emanating from his every pore.
"Anthony…" You breathed again, scarcely recognizing the needy quality of your own voice. Your heart hammered wildly against her ribs as she spoke. "What is happening?" Anthony's control snapped at the sound of Y/N's breathless question, desire overriding reason. With a low groan, he surged forward, capturing your lips in a fierce, hungry kiss. One hand slid into her your, angling her head to deepen the kiss while the other settled on your waist, pulling you flush against him.
He kissed you like a man starved, pouring years of pent-up longing and barely acknowledged feelings into the heated press of his mouth against your own. His tongue delved past your parted lips to stroke along yours. You gasped into the kiss, shock momentarily overriding sensation as Anthony's firm lips claimed yours. But as his tongue stroked along yours, hot and demanding, you melted into him, your arms winding around his neck as you kissed him back with equal lust. Years of repressed longing poured out of you as you tangled your fingers in his hair, arching into his strong embrace. You could feel the evidence of his arousal pressing insistently against your stomach, making her squirm with need. When they finally broke apart, both breathing heavily, Y/N gazed up at him with dazed eyes, your lips swollen and glistening from his kisses. Anthony's chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath, his heart pounding a staccato rhythm against his ribcage. He stared down at you, scarcely able to believe what had just transpired between them. Your kiss-swollen lips, the glassy, half-lidded eyes gazing up at him with such blatant desire… it was almost too much to process.
"Y/N.." He rasped, his voice rough with want. "We shouldn't… I mean, this isn't…" But even as the words of protest formed on his tongue, his traitorous body betrayed him, his hips rocking forward to grind against your core once more.
Sanity warred with lust inside him, the responsible part of his brain screaming that this was madness, that he needed to stop before they crossed a line from which there could be no return. You whimpered as Anthony ground against you, the delicious friction sending bolts of pleasure shooting through your veins. You could feel the dampness gathering between your thighs, your body aching for more of his touch. "Please…" you begged, not even entirely sure what you were asking for.
One of Anthony's hands slid up from her waist to cup your breast through the thin fabric of your dress, kneading the soft flesh. You arched into the touch, your nipples straining against the confines of your corset, desperate for his attention. Anthony's resolve crumbled as you arched into his touch, your breathy plea igniting the last of his restraint. With a low growl, he captured your lips again, kissing you with bruising intensity as his hands roamed your curves greedily.
Breaking the kiss, he trailed his lips down the column of your throat, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin. His deft fingers worked at the fastenings of your bodice, desperate to bare more of you to his hungry gaze and questing hands. "You're so beautiful, Y/N." He murmured against her collarbone, his accent thicker than usual with desire. "I've wanted you for so long, even if I was too foolish to realise it until now." With shaking hands, Anthony peeled back the layers of your gown and stays, exposing the pale swells of your breasts to his avid gaze. He drank in the sight of you, committing every dip and curve to memory. "Exquisite," He breathed reverently, before lowering his head to lave his tongue over one rosy nipple.
He suckled the sensitive bud, alternating between gentle laps and firmer pulls, coaxing it to stiffen further against his lips. His other hand continued its sensual exploration of your newly bared skin, mapping the dips of your waist and the flare of your hip.
Lost in a haze of sensation, Anthony pressed open-mouthed kisses across the valley of your breasts and up the slender column of your throat. He nipped at your earlobe before growling lowly, "Stand up."
You nodded as he commanded you to stand, your legs trembling as you obeyed and slid off the edge of his desk. The cool air of the room brushed over your newly exposed skin, making your nipples tighten further. You could feel the slick evidence of her desire trickling down her inner thigh as Anthony circled you slowly, drinking in the sight of her.
Reaching out, he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your skirt, slowly dragging it downward. The fabric pooled at your feet, leaving you bare before him. Anthony's breath caught at the glorious sight of your nudity, his cock throbbing almost painfully in the confines of his breeches. "Magnificent." He groaned, grabbing you and pulling you flush against him. You gasped as Anthony's hands gripped your hips, pulling your naked body against the clothed hardness of his own. You could feel the heat of his arousal burning through the fabric of his breeches, the rigid length pressing insistently against your lower belly. Your own body responded instantly, fresh waves of moisture flooding your core as your inner muscles clenched hungrily.
Your own hands slid beneath his coat, pushing it off his broad shoulders and onto the floor. Next came his cravat, unwinding quickly to pool atop the discarded garment. You splayed her palms against the crisp linen of his shirt, feeling the thundering beat of his heart beneath your touch. Anthony's heart pounded wildly beneath your exploring hands as you divested him of his outer garments. Each brush of your fingers against his heated skin left trails of tingling sensation in their wake, stoking the inferno raging inside him. Unable to resist, he captured your wrists, guiding your hands to the fall of his breeches. His meaning was clear - he wanted, no, needed her to touch him, to ease the ache of his throbbing arousal. You whimpered as Anthony guided your hands to the front of his breeches, your fingers fumbling slightly with the buttons in your haste to comply with his demand. You could feel the heavy ridge of his erection straining against the fabric, making your mouth water with anticipation.
As soon as you had him freed, you wrapped your fingers around his thick shaft, stroking him from root to tip. Anthony shuddered against you, his hips bucking involuntarily into your touch. Encouraged by his response, you began to pump him steadily, marvelling at the silken steel of his flesh, the bead of moisture already gathered at the slit.
While one hand continued to work his impressive length, the other slid beneath his shirt to explore the ridged plains of his abdomen and the taut discs of his nipples. Anthony groaned gutturally as your hand wrapped around his aching cock, your inexperienced but enthusiastic touches driving him wild with lust. His hips rocked into your fist of their own accord, seeking more friction. The dual sensations of you pumping him steadily and your other hand mapping the planes of his torso pushed him closer to the edge embarrassingly fast.
"Y/N.." He panted, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. "If you keep touching me like that, I won't last." His own hands weren't idle, one tangling in your hair to angle your head for a searing kiss while the other dipped between your thighs to cup your dripping sex.
He groaned into your mouth as his fingers encountered the slick proof of your arousal, two digits easily sliding into your tight, wet cunt. You cried out sharply as Anthony's fingers penetrated you, the sudden invasion sending a shockwave of pleasure rippling through you. Your inner walls clenched tightly around the welcome intrusion.
"A-Anthony!," you gasped, grinding shamelessly against his palm as he pumped his fingers in and out of you.
You weren't quite sure what you needed, only that the coil of tension in her lower belly was growing tighter and tighter, threatening to snap at any moment. Your own movements grew more erratic as you stroked Anthony, your grip tightening reflexively around his pulsing cock. Anthony could feel your inner muscles fluttering and clenching around his invading fingers as he thrust them deeper, curling them to stroke that special spot inside you. The wet sounds of your arousal filled the room, mingling with their panting breaths and needy moans.
"That's it, love," he encouraged hoarsely, adding a third finger to stretch you further as his thumb found your aching clit, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. "Let go for me. I want to feel you come undone."
He increased the pace of his thrusts, fucking into your soaked channel with purposeful strokes while his thumb rubbed firm circles on your clit. His own release was building rapidly.
You moaned high in your throat as Anthony added another finger, stretching you impossibly full. The combination of his fingers plunging deep and his thumb rubbing relentlessly at your clit was too much.
"Oh God-" you sobbed, your hips jerking erratically as you chased your climax. "Anthony, please!"
Your strokes on his cock became frenzied, twisting and squeezing as you felt his own release barreling down on him. You could feel his shaft pulsing in your grip, the bead of moisture at the tip smearing across your fingers. "Come with me," you pleaded, your voice raw with need. "Please."
The coil inside you snapped suddenly, your orgasm crashing over you in intense waves. Anthony felt your walls clamp down around his fingers like a vice as your climax hit, the rhythmic pulses of your inner muscles milking his digits. The erotic sight and feel of you coming undone, coupled with your desperate pleas, proved to be his undoing.
"L-Lord, Y/N-!" he moaned out your name, his own release overtaking him. Thick ropes of his seed spurted from his cock, painting your stomach and breasts as he jerked in your grip. His hips bucked erratically, riding out the intense waves of pleasure that seemed to go on forever.
Finally spent, he slumped against you, his forehead coming to rest on your shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. His fingers remained buried inside you, gently massaging your walls as the aftershocks rolled through you. You clung to Anthony as the last tremors of your release faded, your body moulding perfectly against his. You could feel the stickiness of his spend cooling on your skin.
Anthony lifted his head from your shoulder, his dark eyes meeting yours. In their depths, you saw a variety of emotions - satisfaction, confusion, fear, and something else you couldn't quite name.
You gave his cock a small squeeze, running your finger along the tip to collect some of the pearly liquid that was still spurting out of him on the tip of your thumb. Anthony shuddered as your finger collected the last drops of his release, the overstimulated head of his cock twitching at the light touch. He watched, transfixed, as you brought your thumb to your mouth, your pink little tongue darting out to taste him.
"Christ, Y/N," he groaned, both aroused and unsettled by the intimate gesture." What are we doing? This… this changes everything." Even as he said the words, he made no move to pull away from you, his arms remaining loosely wrapped around your waist. You swallowed hard, tasting the salt and musk of Anthony's cum on your tongue. You knew there was no going back from this moment.
"I don't know but.." You gently lifted your hand, cupping his cheek with a soft look on your face. "I-I don't want to stop.."
Your gaze flickered to the mess on your stomach, his fingers still buried inside of your cunt, his cock still twitching in your hand. Anthony leaned into your tender touch, his eyes fluttering closed briefly as your palm cupped his cheek
"God, I, I… Y/N." he started, his voice rough with emotion and residual passion. "We've known each other for so long. You're my best friend, my confidante. To cross this line…"
Despite his words, he made no move to extricate himself from their intimate position. If anything, he seemed to draw you closer, as if instinctively seeking your warmth and comfort.
"But God help me, I don't think I can bear the thought of stopping either. Of going back to pretending that there's nothing more between us than friendship." Anthony's gaze drifted down to where your hand still held his softening member, then to the pearlescent streaks painting your stomach and breasts. Evidence of their passionate encounter, marking you as his in the most primal way possible. The sight stirred something possessive and protective in his chest.
"We should clean up", he murmured reluctantly, pulling his fingers from her. "And talk. Really talk, for once. About what this means, where we go from here."
He brushed a tender kiss against your forehead, then reluctantly disentangled himself from your arms.
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