8tynine

Just an ordinary person

[edgarhamas]

GAJAH DAN ANJING

Ini kisah singkat tentang gajah dan anjing yang hamil di bulan yang sama. Tiga bulan kemudian si anjing melahirkan 6 ekor anjing mungil. Enam bulan kemudian si anjing hamil kembali dan beberapa bulan setelah itu kembali melahirkan lusinan anak anjing. Pola seperti itu terus berlanjut. Di bulan ke-9, si anjing mendekati gajah dan bertanya, “Apakah kau yakin bahwa kau sedang hamil? Kita hamil di waktu yang sama dan aku telah melahirkan tiga kali, anak-anakku telah menjadi anjing yang besar pula, sementara kau masih saja hamil. Apa sebenarnya yang terjadi?”

“Ada sesuatu yang aku ingin kau memahaminya”, jawab Gajah bijaksana. “Apa yang aku kandung bukanlah anjing kecil, melainkan seekor gajah. Aku hanya bisa melahirkan sekali dalam dua tahun. Dan ketika anakku menapak daratan, bumi merasakannya. Ketika anakku melewati jalan, manusia berhenti dari kesibukannya dan memandangnya penuh takjub. Apa yang kukandung menyita perhatian dunia, ia sesuatu yang besar dan ajaib.”

… Jangan kehilangan keyakinanmu ketika kau lihat orang lain telah menerima jawaban atas doa-doa mereka sementara engkau belum.

Jangan jua cemburu dengan komentar-komentar orang tentang mereka yang sepertinya lancar sekali hidupnya. Jika kau memang belum mendapat balasan dari doamu sekarang, jangan kecewa. Katakan pada dirimu, “waktuku akan tiba, dan ketika balasan doaku turun ke muka bumi, manusia kelak juga akan mengetahuinya.”

[fatamorgananyata]

Wanita yang imajinatif suka membuat prolog. Di dalam pikirannya penuh dengan kerangka monolog. Lelaki pemenang adalah yang mampu menyusunnya menjadi dialog. Serta memberi gambaran cerita indah sebagai epilog.

😆 (via fatamorgananyata)

[8tynine]

Bahaya Smartphone

Cal Newport dalam bukunya Deep Work menyebut istilah : Shallow Work.

Shallow Work adalah sejenis aktivitas yang dangkal, kelihatan sibuk, namun tidak berdampak signifikan buat peningkatan skills dan income kita.

Salah satu contoh shallow work, menurut Cal Newport ya itu tadi : berjam-jam sok sibuk menghabiskan waktu untuk main game (seperti Pokemon Go, Dota, Class of Clans dan sejenisnya) via smartphone atau laptop.

Waktu yang sangat berharga, yang bisa dipakai untuk melakukan deep work dan deep thinking demi peningkatan skills, terbuang percuma lantaran berjam-jam dihabiskan untuk main game di smartphone.

Selain main game yang hanya buang-buang waktu untuk fun, contoh shallow work lain menurut Cal Newport adalah ini : terjebak dalam distraksi notifikasi onlie via smartphone.

Distraksi smartphone itu terus mengalir, always on, via notifikasi grup-grup WA yang diikuti, atau browsing status di FB atau Instgram, atau menghabiskan waktu untuk membaca berita online yang acap mutunya seperti sampah.

Itulah bahaya laten yang merampas waktu produktif kita. Waktu berharga yang mestinya bisa digunakan untuk meningkatkan skills dan income, terbuang percuma dalam layar smartphone yang destruktif.

Gangguan online tanpa henti dari smartphone seperti itu, menurut Cal Newport, acap membuat kita gagal melakukan “deep work” dan “deep thinking”. Deep work artinya menghasilkan karya yang wow, yang butuh fokus, kedalaman serta konsentrasi yang tajam.

Bahaya laten smartphone lain adalah ini : menjebak sel otak kita untuk terbiasa berpikir melompat-lompat – klik ini, klik itu, tap ini tap itu, scroll, scrol dan terus berputar seperti itu.

Smartphone mendidik kita untuk tidak pernah bisa fokus dan selalu “tergoda” untuk terus bergerak mengikuti aliran informasi online atau distraksi notifikasi.

Dalam jangka panjang, proses seperti amat kelam dampaknya. Sebuah riset neurologi membuktikan kini makin banyak anak-anak muda generasi digital yang sulit membangun konsentrasi panjang (misal membaca buku 50 halaman, atau menekuni sebuah pekerjaan yang menuntut deep thinking).

Attention span kita menjadi makin pendek – dan selalu ingin bergegas (mirip seperti saat kita asyik main smartphone).

Akibatnya bisa fatal : sel otak yang terjebak seperti itu jadi makin sulit diajak untuk menekuni sebuah problem sulit yang menuntut ketekunan dan konsentrasi tajam.

Daya kegigihan dan ketekunan kita untuk melakukan deep work dan deep thinking jadi makin redup dihancurkan oleh layar smartphone.

Cal Newport menulis : tanpa kecakapan dan ketekunan melakukan deep work, Anda hanya akan jadi pecundang, dan tidak pernah bisa menghasilkan karya yang cetar membahana.

Mungkin itulah fakta pahit nan kelam tentang “smartphone paradox” : smartphone yang kita pakai ini makin hari makin cerdas teknologinya. Smarter machine. Namun sayang, gadget yang kian cerdas itu kadang justru makin membuat penggunanya makin bodoh dan primitif.

Tanpa kesadaran untuk menjadi kreator yang kreatif, jutaan konsumen smartphone hanya akan selalu terjebak dalam euforia, persis seperti kegilaan Pokemon Go yang kini tengah meledak.

Artikel dikutip dari blog Strategi Manajemen - Yodhia Antariksa.

[thoughtsofla-deactivated2017050]

A few things I learned in life are that there are some things you’d never get over, some pains that would not pass, and some people you would never stop missing.

LA (via thoughtsofla)

[miring]

Berpihak Pada Trump

Pemilihan presiden di Amerika Serikat mulai memasuki babak baru. Dua orang sudah dipastikan maju menjadi calon presiden negeri paman sam. Pilpres kali ini akan menjadi gregetan sekaligus unik dan m…

alasan penting bagi muslim, kenapa harus memilih Donald Trump

[erstudio-deactivated20160906]

Adakah yang Lebih Tabah Darimu, Hujan?

Adakah yang lebih tabah darimu, Hujan?

Malam ini kudengar kau turun perlahan-lahan saat azan berkumandang. Kau sapa tanah yang merekah, yang merindukanmu sebab lama tak bertemu. Telah kau sapa tanah, namun mereka yang disebut pawang, malah ingin mengusirmu yang katanya membawa berkah.

Adakah yang lebih tabah darimu, Hujan? Kau banting dirimu makin keras, terpelanting, lalu mengalir, terkadang kau dicaci maki karena membuat banjir, siapakah mereka itu yang tega memakimu, Hujan?

Adakah yang lebih tabah darimu, Hujan? Meski kau telah jatuh berkali-kali, menghujam bumi, meski ribuan makhluk Tuhan mencaci maki, kau tak pernah ragu untuk kembali.

Duhai Hujan, sini, kemari. Temani aku dalam kesendirian malam ini. Menanti hari esok yang tak pasti. Ajari aku untuk jadi pribadi yang lebih tabah lagi.

Adakah yang lebih tabah darimu, Hujan?

Surabaya, 29 November 2014

[8tynine]

4 weeks - #1st~3mester

Bismilahirohmanirohim, Mulai minggu ini, pengen banget rasanya nulis pengalaman selama hamil yang kedua. Pengen lebih banyak nulis makna yang terartikan. Semoga nantinya tulisan ini bisa menjadi pengingat yang baik akan kebaikan dan rahmat Allah. Atau paling tidak, menjadi kenangan serta harta untuk anak-anakku baca. Aaamiinn.

[laninalathifa]

Ayo Hujan-Hujanan, Nak!

Oleh: Ust. Budi Ashari, Lc (parentingnabawiyah.com)

Ayo Nak, hujan-hujanan….

Karena ini bukan sekadar sebuah kesenangan bermain dengan rintik dari langit yang memang sangat menyenangkan. Juga bukan sekadar penelitian ilmiah tentang manfaat hujan, yang baru hangat dibahas hari-hari ini.

Hal ‘sepele’ ini perlu dibahas karena anak-anak pasti senang hujan-hujanan. Sementara para orangtua hari ini cenderung berkata: “Jangan, nanti sakit, nanti masuk angin, nanti demam, nanti pilek…” Dst.

Apakah itu konsep parenting yang benar?

Dengarkan kisah Anas bin Malik radhiyallahu ‘anhu berikut ini:

قَالَ أَنَسٌ: أَصَابَنَا وَنَحْنُ مَعَ رَسُولِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَطَرٌ، قَالَ: فَحَسَرَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ثَوْبَهُ، حَتَّى أَصَابَهُ مِنَ الْمَطَرِ، فَقُلْنَا: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ لِمَ صَنَعْتَ هَذَا؟ قَالَ: «لِأَنَّهُ حَدِيثُ عَهْدٍ بِرَبِّهِ تَعَالَى»

Anas berkata, “Kami bersama Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam kehujanan. Rasulullah shallallahu alaihi wasallam menyingkap pakaiannya agar terkena air hujan. Kami bertanya, ya Rasulullah, mengapa engkau melakukan ini?

Beliau menjawab, “Karena ia baru saja datang dari Rabb Ta’ala.” (HR. Muslim)

An-Nawawi menjelaskan hadits ini,

“Maknanya bahwa hujan adalah rahmat, ia baru saja diciptakan Allah Ta’ala. Maka kita ambil keberkahannya. Hadits ini juga menjadi dalil bagi pernyataan sahabat-sahabat kami bahwa dianjurkan saat hujan pertama untuk menyingkap –yang bukan aurat- agar terkena hujan.” (Al Minhaj)

Ibnu Rajab dalam Fathul Bari menyebutkan bahwa para sahabat Nabi pun sengaja hujan-hujanan seperti Utsman bin Affan. Demikian juga Abdullah bin Abbas, jika hujan turun dia berkata, “Wahai Ikrimah keluarkan pelana, keluarkan ini, keluarkan itu agar terkena hujan!”

Ibnu Rajab juga menyebutkan bahwa Ali bin Abi Thalib jika sedang hujan, keluar untuk hujan-hujanan. Jika hujan mengenai kepalanya yang gundul itu, dia mengusapkan ke seluruh kepala, wajah dan badan kemudian berkata, “Keberkahan turun dari langit yang belum tersentuh tangan dan bejana.”

Abul Abbas Al-Qurthubi juga menjelaskan,

“Ini yang dilakukan Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam untuk mencari keberkahan dengan hujan dan mencari obat. Karena Allah ta’ala telah menamainya rahmat, diberkahi, suci, sebab kehidupan dan menjauhkan dari hukuman. Diambil dari hadits tentang penghormatan terhadap hujan dan tidak boleh merendahkannya.” (Al Mufhim)

Bahkan para ulama, seperti Al Bukhari dalam Shahih-nya dan Adabul Mufrod, Muslim dalam Shahih-nya, Ibnu Abi Syaibah dalam Mushonnaf-nya, Ibnu Hibban dalam Shahih-nya, Al Baihaqi dalam As Sunan Al Kubro. Semuanya menuliskan bab khusus dalam kitab-kitab hadits mereka tentang anjuran hujan-hujanan.

Masihkah ada yang menyangsikan bahwa hujan-hujanan itu dianjurkan?

Mengapa kita menuduh hujan yang berkah sebagai sumber malapetaka?

Kita sebagai orangtua tentu bisa mengamati kondisi anak kita di hari itu, saat hujan turun. Jika mereka tidak terlalu bugar, kita bisa melarangnya. Namun jika mereka sedang sehat dan bugar, mengapa kita larang? Tak usah khawatir. Hujan adalah keberkahan, kesucian, pengirim ketenangan, bahkan penghilang kotornya gangguan syetan.

Selesai hujan-hujanan, suruhlah mereka mandi, mengguyur kepalanya, minum madu, habbatus sauda’ dan lainnya. Agar kekhawatiran itu pergi. Dan keberkahanlah yang telah mengguyur kepala dan sekujur badan mereka.

Jadi, sudah siap hujan-hujanan?

[8tynine]

4 Weeks - Pregnant

Bismilah,

Mulai hari ini, pengen merekam segala kegiatan dan pengalaman selama hamil. Semoga perjalanan yang akan ditempuh ini menjadi perjalanan yang bisa diambil banyak hikmahnya. Dan semoga bermanfaat atau paling tidak, bisa menjadi kenangan untuk diri dan anak sendiri.

[edgarhamas]

Terlalu berlebihankah ketika banyak sekali Ulama menggelari Al-Aqsha sebagai jantung umat Islam? Saya rasa tidak. Ulama kita pasti telah menelaah berbagai literatur sejarah Umat ini semenjak Adam alaihissalam, kemudian menyimpulkan bahwa; Al-Aqsha memiliki tempat tinggi di jiwa Umat Islam.

Masjid Al-Aqsha ini, di masa dinasti Ummawiyah menjadi tempat pelantikan para khalifah. Termasuk beliau -Umar bin Abdul Aziz- dilantik menjadi Amirul Mukminin di bawah naungan Masjid Al-Aqsha. Karena Al-Aqsha memiliki gelar ‘Ramzul Imamah’; The Symbol of Leadership.

Sebab di Masjid ini juga Nabi Muhammad secara simbolik diangkat menjadi pemimpin besar para Nabi dan Rasul. Di tempat ini Rasulullah mengimami Nabi Nuh, Ibrahim, Musa dan Isa. Bahkan dikatakan saat itu Rasulullah mengimami shalat ratusan ribu Anbiya’. SubhanAllah.

Al-Aqsha yang istimewa. Jantung kita bersama, jantung Muslimin dari Papua sampai Pantai Atlantik, dari Rusia sampai ujung kutub Selatan. “Ketika berjaya Al-Aqsha, berjayalah Ummat ini”, hanya saja kita mesti menuju jalan yang panjang. Siapkan nafas panjang wahai kawan.

(Photo : Ottoman Archives, Al-Aqsha in 19th Century) (at Cairo, Egypt)

[8tynine]

langit akan selalu ada. Jadi,

Sia-sia Bumi membenci Langit, Langit akan tetap sama.

[iheartallah]

10 FOR 20 AT 40 – TEN PIECES OF ADVICE I’D GIVE TO MY TWENTY-YEAR OLD SELF NOW THAT I’M FORTY

Forty is a special age. It’s the quintessential age of mid-life. It’s older than ‘young’, but younger than ‘old’. It’s an age where one has typically finished jumping all the hoops that society and education and starting a family require, and where one now looks forward to thinking about the major accomplishments of life, and the legacy that one wishes to leave.

The Qur'an mentions forty as the age of reaching full maturity: “Until, when (man) reaches his maturity (ashudd), and reaches forty years of age, he says, ‘O My Lord! Allow me to thank the blessings that you have bestowed on me, and on my parents, and that I perform good deeds that are pleasing to you, and make my children righteous as well. Truly, I repent unto You, and are of those who submit totally to you” [Ahqāf; 15].

No wonder, then, that our Prophet Muhammad  actually began receiving inspiration and preaching his message at the age of forty. For forty years, he was merely being prepared for the real purpose of his mission: the call to Allah.

This is the year that I reach that important milestone of life. I do not know what the future holds for me, although of course I have my visions and plans. But it seems fitting for me to pause and reflect upon the last four decades of my life, and ponder over its ups and downs.

I remember vividly many of my thoughts and emotions when I was twenty. It was exactly twenty years ago that I graduated from the University of Houston, and left for the Islamic University of Madinah, beginning a new phase of my life. I began thinking, “If I could, somehow, give my younger self some advice; if I could address the young man of twenty, now that I am forty, and hope that he would listen to my advice, what would I tell him?”

These are the top ten things that came to mind. I hope those of you who are still in their twenties (and perhaps some of you who are older!) will benefit from it.

1) Don’t be so certain about your opinions and views.

Arrogance and cockiness define teenage years, and a young man (or woman) at twenty really is just a teenager, plus one. Views about how to live, about interpretations of religion, about how you would do things differently than everyone else in the world – those views typically stem from a naïve and inexperienced view of the world. You will realize that over-enthusiasm and strongly held opinions are the quintessential signs of being young. Don’t judge others who disagree with your views too harshly: you just might find yourself holding those same views a few years or decades down the line!

2) The most important source of practical knowledge is life itself.

Continuing from the last point, realize that the single greatest source of wisdom is learnt by living life itself. No matter how many lectures you attend, or books you read, or how deeply you contemplate or think, nothing substitutes the wisdom gained from simply experiencing the world around you. In order to be a good spouse, you need to learn to navigate the ups and down of a marriage. In order to be a good parent, you need to have your own children and learn to take care of them throughout their stages of childhood. In order to be a good human, you need to experience the good and bad of humanity.

‘Facts’ from books are great, but they must be shaped and seasoned and tested on the playground of life. Appreciate that you might not be in the best shape to judge everything, especially since you might not have experienced those things before. Through experience, and trial and error, one’s methods for dealing with all types of problems are refined.

A corollary of this piece of advice (and if I had more than ten in this list, this would be number eleven) is: Respect and benefit from those older than you. Perhaps you know more than an elder about a certain matter (or, to phrase it more precisely: perhaps you think you know more than them about a certain matter), but no matter how knowledgeable you are about quantum mechanics, or investigating sahih hadiths, or understanding the latest psychological theories from your textbooks, you simply cannot match the wisdom of your grandmother when it comes to navigating the intricacies of human interactions and raw emotions.

3) Friends come and go; family stays.

Many young men and women act as if their friends are more important than their family. They will show more concern about hurting their friend’s feeling than their family’s. Much of the conflict at that age, in fact, comes from the frictions of interacting with and arbitrating between family and friends. Yet, as anyone older than you can tell you, your friends are not a permanent fixture of your life. They will come and go into and out of your room of life, and every few days or months or years, you will look around that room and realize that an entirely different set of friends are standing where once another batch stood. But, lurking in the background, never actually disappearing (until death!) are your family members. These are the permanent fixtures in your room of life, not your set of friends.

True, problems with parents, siblings, uncles and aunts, cousins and so forth are extremely painful, and all families have their internal disputes and major problems. It is absolutely normal to have intra-family fights (particularly, for some bizarre reason, during and concerning marriages!). And it is normal, although not Islamic, to go for long periods with minimal or no contact with close family members. Yet, in the end, blood is thicker than anything else, and you will always be connected with family. Time heals all wounds, and even the worse of family arguments are healed (thankfully, family tragedies or celebrations act as catalysts in that regard). So never overlook your family for the sake of friends.

Having said that, and on a more cheerful note, in all likelihood the best set of friends you’ll ever have are your college friends. College friends will always have a special status in your life, maybe because you were all young and lonely and single and naïve and at the prime of your youths, thrown together due to circumstances beyond your control, facing the ups and downs of a new environment away from home. Or maybe that special bond is the result of some type of unstudied scientific byproduct of the hundreds of times you all had to eat takeout pizza late at night and share cheap Chinese food together. Whatever the reasons – banal or mystical – no set of friends will have the status of college friends. But once again: even they will go out of your lives, some never to be seen again, others once every few decades, and a small handful with whom you’ll remain in touch with forever.

One final comment about families: make sure you soak in as many memories as you can from your family elders, because you never know how long they will be with you. One of my greatest regrets in this department is that I didn’t get to know my grandmother as well as I could have. I never met two of my grandparents; a third died when I was only ten. It was only my paternal grandmother (who lived with us until she passed away, when I was twenty-two) that I got to know somewhat. But as a teenager, I would always be irritated when she began reminiscing of the ‘old days’. I would internally cringe every time she began a story that I had already heard a hundred times, yet I would still have to pretend as if each time were new to me. I never cared to ask her for more stories, or more details. ‘When will she stop!?’ I would internally ask myself as I fretted to get back to my TV show or college homework. It was only after I matured, and she and everyone of her generation passed on, that I truly realized my loss. How I wish now that I could have learnt more about her, and her childhood. She talked to us of British soldiers in her village, of her parents and in-laws (my great-grandparents), of the ways of purdah in rural India, of distant relatives long gone from this world, of incidents that took place almost a century ago, and of the interesting customs of the time. Now that she has been gone for two decades, I vividly remember much of what she said, but I wish for so much more. How I wish I had quizzed her for more details, more incidents, more stories. Now that I reflect upon her stories, there are so many unanswered questions: questions that I never bothered to ask because at the time, I really didn’t care to know, but now, have no answers to because I didn’t care to ask them.

4) Habits developed now typically stay with you.

I have had the great fortune (or misfortune!) of studying twenty-two years continuously as a student at various universities (two undergraduate degrees and four graduate). What I found remarkable was that the habits I developed while studying for my very first degree pretty much stayed with me throughout my two decades of study (with, of course, modifications and developments). And the same went for my routines and other life-habits: how I dealt with early marital spats dictated my future navigation; how I reared my first child influenced my later habits with my other children, and so forth. True, I picked up some habits along the way (I never drank caffeine early on in my life; now, I am addicted to one freshly-brewed quality tea every morning, and one freshly-ground espresso drink every afternoon), and dropped others (I used to love sleeping on the floor, and felt it gave me a better sleep – obviously that is a habit that only single people can practice!), but by and large, my 'routine’ and lifestyle has remained the same.

Hence, be extra vigilant of your habits at this age, and realize that the hard work and good habits that you incorporate earlier in your life will help you throughout the rest of your life. It is easier to develop good habits at a younger age than to drop bad ones later on in life.

5) Take advantage of your health and energy while you can!

Wisdom and maturity might increase as you age from twenty to forty, but alas, strength and power does not! Looking back at those years, I can’t believe how much energy I had. I could get by on small quantities of food (or even skip meals without any adverse effect); didn’t require much sleep; had no trouble falling asleep; and could rough out the worst of conditions. I took my health completely for granted.

How much energy I had! Looking at people older than me, and seeing their aches and pains and arthritis and diseases, it never occurred to me that each and every one of those elders was at one point in their lives as young and vibrant as I was. I could never imagine myself with those problems.

Yet, as the years turn into decades, slowly but inevitably time begins to catch up, and you no longer can be as vigorous, as vivacious, as energetic, as you once were. Knee joints begin to hurt, back pains become more common, sleep becomes an issue, you can no longer skip meals so easily ….and the list goes on, and continues to grow, year by year.

Indeed, it was none other than our Prophet  who reminded us to take advantage of our youth before we become old.

6) You’ve all heard of the adage 'time flies’. Life will teach you how true that really is.

I have such vivid memories of those years, and yet they seem so far away. At times, when I recall memories from those years, I am startled to realize that fifteen or twenty or twenty five years have passed since then. How could two decades have gone by so quickly? Where did that time all go?!

And I know that as I grow older, I will also look back at these very years that I am currently living in in the same way.

Do not procrastinate what needs to be done today until tomorrow. You want to fill up your time with matters that will benefit you religiously, and worldly. Accomplish much, aim high, get things done, and you will live a full and wonderful life. Waste time, and you will end up watching the years fly you by as you stand bankrupt of any lasting good. The choice is yours.

7) Life will get tougher, not easier.

We tend to exaggerate our problems at a younger age, thinking that no one has it worse than us. Looking back, I am now amused at what I considered to be 'huge’ problems (the first time my first car broke down, I quite literally felt as if my life had come to a halt!). For those of us who live in stable family environments, away from war zones, with adequate financial stability (meaning: we will not starve to death no matter what happens), it is a very safe bet to say that the most painful problems of our lives are yet to come.

I say this not to make our young men and women depressed, but to make them put things into perspective. One of the most painful moments of most people’s lives comes when they see their children extremely sick or in some type of threat. At that moment, nothing that has ever happened to you as a twenty-year old could ever have been a serious problem. So, when you are tense about that exam or having missed a paper assignment or going through a tough patch with someone whom you love, take a deep breath, and realize that life is not all that bad!

8) The single most important decision of your entire life will probably be made in this decade: the choice of a spouse.

I cannot imagine a decision that will have more impact on the entire rest of your life than choosing the partner whom you intend to spend the rest of your life with! Your careers may easily change, and the field that you initially studied for typically becomes a launching pad into an entirely different trajectory. However, 'changing’ spouses is not something that anyone willingly undergoes, and choosing a life-partner will have an immediate and a long-term effect on you. It will influence your character, shape your religion, bring you untold happiness and sadness and joys and pains, affect the genes of your progeny, and dictate the nature of the rest of your life (and even afterlife).

As a person who was going into Islamic studies, I knew that I needed to find a life partner who would be willing to sacrifice much for me. I am very fortunate to have been blessed with a wife who has always supported me in my efforts, and I am extremely grateful to Allah that I have 'my Khadija’! But I can honestly say that many, many of my friends who wanted to become students of knowledge or otherwise benefit their communities, were forced to abandon their plans because of spousal issues. And the same goes for other choices that you will have to make: spouses must sacrifice for each other, and who sacrifices what for whom will decide the both of your fates.

So, be picky, and look at the most important criterion: character. Beauty truly is skin deep, and what really counts is good manners and religion. When you are all alone with your spouse, with absolutely no one to help or support you, nothing will bring about a better relationship than the both of you fearing Allah for the consequences of your actions.

9) Your obnoxious behavior will come back to haunt you, while your love and kindness will always benefit you.

Sadly, people (especially family) don’t forget. Yes, they might forgive, but they don’t forget. If you hurt someone, or do something stupid or rude, it will always be remembered, and occasionally brought up. One harsh incident might cost you an entire relationship,

As Maya Angelou said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” One incident in which you humiliated a friend, or were caustic to a family member, will always affect your future with that person. And an incident where you showed your mercy, or kindness, can win over someone as a true ally for as long as you live.

So be wise, don’t act rashly, and err on the side of mercy.

10) No one – and I mean no one – will ever love you, or care for you, or be as concerned for your welfare, as your parents. Cherish them in every way possible for as long as you have the opportunity to do so.

It is one of the saddest aspects of growing up that children, and especially teenagers, treat their parents in a rude manner. We are all familiar with the Quranic and prophetic commandments regarding good treatment of parents. Unfortunately, for many of us, those commandments do not seep into our hearts at a young age (and for a few unlucky ones, never!).

I have said many times in my talks, “You will never understand the love of your parents until you become a parent yourself, and it is only then that you will realize all that they did for you, they did out of love.” Even if you don’t have children of your own, however, try your best to give them the love and kindness that they deserve, and honor them with kindness.

It is true that all of us are at times extremely frustrated with parental expectations, or parental advice and rebukes, but our religion teaches us to control that anger and not express it verbally. 'Zip it up!’ I advise my own teenager when I see he is about to get irritated with his mother (or me!). 'Talk to us when you’ve calmed down. It’s okay to feel angry, it’s not okay to show it.’ (Alas, that advice doesn't always work on him!!).

No one knows how long one’s parents will be around; take advantage of their presence, to earn your place in Paradise, and to have the best memories of serving them for as long as you live as well.

Now that I’ve passed this milestone, I ask Allah that He blesses me and my family to see many more positive milestones in my life and in theirs.

O Allah! Allow me to be thankful to you for all that you have bestowed upon me, and upon my parents! Bless me to continue to do good deeds that are pleasing to you! And make me from your righteous and beloved servants! Ameen.

Source: http://muslimmatters.org/2015/06/02/10-20-40-ten-pieces-advice-id-give-twenty-year-old-self-now-im-forty/

[jalansaja]

Pikiranku terlalu liar jika hanya kau kenali lewat nalar. Terima saja kenyataan bahwa seringkali aku bisa lebih gila dari sekadar yang kau duga.

(via jalansaja)

[8tynine]

Ibu

Saat teman-teman perempuan aktif mengabarkan perjuangan mereka melahirkan anak-anaknya, menjelaskan rasa sakit dan pengorbanan atas perubahan fisik. Saat mereka membagikan kisah pengorbanan itu yang kemudian disusul ide tentang pentingnya kesadaran suami untuk menghargai istri dan melakukan lebih banyak aksi untuk kebahagiaan istri sebagai balasannya.

Disaat itulah saya mengingat, tak ada satu pun kisah perjuangan yang ibu saya ceritakan untuk kemudian mengharapkan apresiasi atau penghargaan dari bapak melainkan harapan agar anak-anaknya terus berjuang, menjadi pengingat untuk anak-anaknya agar tidak menyia-nyiakan perjuangan Ibu.

“ Ingat Mba! Ibu itu susah payah saat ngelahirin kamu, Ibu yakin kamu bisa lakukan yang terbaik, bisa jadi anak pinter!” begitu kira-kira kata Ibu saat saya mulai malas belajar dan memperlihatkan tanda-tanda menyimpang dari “track” yang telah Ibu saya jaga.

Tak ada satu keluhan pun yang ditujukan untuk mendapatkan lebih dari yang beliau dapatkan dari Bapak. Yang selalu saya terima adalah keluhan untuk membuat saya merasa bersalah dan “berpikir” akan merasa bersalah jika saya menyia-nyiakan waktu (malas belajar, keliaran ngga penting, dan banyak main). Ini bukan berarti tidak menghargai teman-teman yang telah menjadi Ibu. Saya sudah beberapa kali menyaksikan perjuangan seorang ibu yang mengandung dan melahirkan. Sakit dan pedihnya. Meskipun saya belum merasakan sepenuhnya perjuangan mempertahankan bayi dalam kandungan dan melahirkannya dengan segala upaya. ijinkan saya bertanya,

“Perlukah seorang Ibu mengeluh dan mengemis apresiasi semacam itu dari seorang suami?”

Saya meyakini bahwa Allah Maha Adil, jika pun nanti suami tidak menghargai perjuangan saya.. saya yakin Allah tetap menghitung perjuangan dan pengorbanan saya sebagai istri. tak perlu juga menghitung-hitung berapa besar pengorbanan itu karena tak akan ada yang Allah lewatkan.

[muhzulfikar-deactivated20170520]

Perjalanan hidup mengajarkan apa arti cinta. Pengalaman hidup mengajarkan siapa yang berhak untuk dicinta. Dan ujian hidup mengajarkan siapa yang benar-benar mencintai kita.

(via muhzulfikar)

[edgarhamas]

Yang ditandai merah itu, adalah; jika Kekaisaran Jepang memenangkan Perang Dunia II, dan langgeng kekuasaannya hingga hari ini. Niscaya luaslah apa yang mereka kuasai; dataran Cina, semenanjung Indocina, dan kepulauan Nusantara. Besar.

Dan bayangkan jika mereka tetap menjajah kita hingga hari ini. Ada kemungkinan perjuangan para Ulama dan santrinya makinlah kentara, batalion-batalion mujahid bersiaga di bukit dan gunung-gunung. Hanya berandai, mungkin begitu adanya.

Negeri kita akan jadi negeri seperti Pattani, atau Rohingya, dimana muslim yang taat akan diberangus karena dianggap merongrong kekuasaan. Ah, dipimpin oleh bangsa sendiripun kini umat Islam ditekan.

Alaa kulli hal, inilah yang dinamakan harapan, Allah hapuskan penjajahan di negeri kita, dan memberikan kesempatan bagi kita untuk berdiri di atas kaki sendiri. Berdiri dengan kekuatan sendiri. Sayang, sampai kini kita belum mendiri menegakkan badan sendiri, belum tegap dihadap bangsa-bangsa dunia.

Tetap ada harapan. Bangsa kita ini bangsa optimis, paling optimis nomer 2 setelah Cina, rilis para Surveyor. Pun kita punya proyeksi, menjadi negeri yang menjembatani “kebangkitan Islam, bonus demografi, dan zaman adidaya Asia”.

Bismillah. Wallahu A'lam

[miring]

Laa ikrooha fiddiini qod ttabayyanar rusdu minal ghoyyi

tidak perlu menyuruh, meminta apalagi memaksa seseorang harus beragama atau beragama islam. tidak ada paksaan dalam beragama karena sudah jelas mana yang haq dan batil. saat ayat terakhir Al Quran turun, itulah yang menjadi tanda zona demarkasi keimanan. hanya Alah yang bisa memberi hidayah, bahkan nabi pun tidak mampu memberi hidayah pada keluarganya (nuh -istrinya) (ibrahim-ayahnya) (muhammad-pamannya). pada tahap berikutnya bahkan Allah melarang mencaci maki tuhan agama lain, melarang mencaci maki sesembahan orang lain selain Allah. (via miring)

Jangan mudah menghakimi seorang yang berbeda dengan kita. Setiap manusia pada dasarnya berbeda-beda, entah itu sikap, karakter, bisa juga budaya. Hormati perbedaan dan jangan cepat memutuskan melakukan kekerasan. Kelemah lembutan biasanya lebih mudah diterima. Usahakan jangan etnosentrisme, usahakan jangan rasisme.

Beda pendapat itu biasa. Menghormati pendapat orang lain itu luar biasa.

(via rantingkecil)