For Lone Star Weekend at @911lonestarweek
Day 3: Found Family/“We’ve got your back, no matter what.”/Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: TK/Carlos; Firefam 126 Feels
Summary: 2.04 're-write': Instead of getting advice from his parents, TK goes to his crew to get some help after the farmer's market fiasco.
“I freed some more space in your closet, Carlos,” TK bites out, hating that he says something so hurtful when he can see the pain in Carlos’ eyes, but his instincts are telling him to fight and then flight right away. He wants to make Carlos feel every iota of pain he is - every ounce of not being enough, of not mattering as much as he thought. It’s vindictive and has self sabotage written all over it, but he can’t stop the words from tumbling out.
He leaves the condo, slamming the door, and waits on the stoop for a minute, just in case Carlos comes out to beg him back - to say he does love him, no supposedly necessary.
Carlos doesn’t, though, so TK texts the first person he can think of.
<b>Can you come pick me up? At the end of Carlos’ street.</b>
TK walks to the end of said street, his duffle thumping against his legs every few steps. His brain is trying to process over emotion coursing through his body.
Marjan beeps as she pulls up next to him, Paul and Mateo in the back. TK gets in the front seat and even though he wants to, doesn’t slam the door. Marjan has yelled at his habit enough times, and he’s just thankful they’re here to get him.
“Thanks Marj. But did you have to bring the whole crew?” TK asks, nodding to his friends in the back and raising an eyebrow at Marjan.
“Almost, we’re going to go hang out at the last essential member’s place,” Marjan says with a quirk of her own eyebrow.
“Aww, man, really? He’s going to cause some sort of violence,” TK whines, even if flickers of supportive joy are curling in his belly.
“We can’t get all the hot goss without our big bro,” Mateo pipes up from the back and the car laughs. TK feels some tension seep from his shoulders and is glad he texted his best friend. He squeezes her elbow a little and she glances over and winks at him before putting her eyes back on the road and then turning up the music to belt along to Beyonce. The whole car joins in, and it loosens another muscle in TK.
They pull up to Judd’s place in no time and they all traipse in through the side gate to the back patio where Judd is already waiting with chips, veggie and fruit trays, drinks, and dessert on the table.
He and Grace are swinging gently to the music playing and laughing and TK’s heart twinges a little. He thought it would be that easy for him and Carlos. TK sincerely thought he would be where Judd and Grace are in a few years.
Judd pulls away from his wife and comes over to TK, crossing his arms and peering down at him.
“What’s wrong? Am I beating you, him, or your dad up?” He drawls, and TK knows he would do it without a moment’s thought if TK asked. They’ve come a long way from when he first moved here and TK has never felt more supported.
“Nobody,” TK says dejectedly and Judd just looks at him in that no bullshit away.
“Son, you know I don’t like talkin’ about things, so you best hurry up and explain.”
TK sighs and tells them everything. They’ll pry it out of him anyway and he needs some unbiased (kind of) opinion. An outside perspective on where he messed up. On why he wasn’t enough.
TK talks about how he ran into Carlos’ parents, thrilled to be able to meet them, and was then introduced as his friend. The winces from his friends tell him it’s okay to feel the uncertainty he did.
“I can help beat him up?” Mateo offers and Marjan smacks him. TK laughs, but it feels hollow.
All he wants is to rewind back to this morning and what they did before the farmer’s market and entice Carlos into staying in bed just for a little longer to do more unprofessional things. He doesn’t know where they stand and it’s slowly tearing him up.
“TK, do you love him?” Grace asks in that no nonsense voice of hers. Grace has been a saving grace, pun fully intended, at helping build and keep the relationship up. Carlos and her get along and it’s nice to hang out as a full group without Judd bowing out to hang out with his wife instead. Though, he does do that many a times as well.
“Yes,” TK says without hesitation. That was never in question.
“Do you think he loves you?” She continues and TK pauses for a split second, but he knows, deep in his soul, that Carlos does. From the kisses in the morning, to the packed lunches, to the random texts, to taking care of his mooching friends.
“Yes,” TK says resolutely.
“That’s a good start, honey,” Grace says and it truly is.
“Did you ask for an explanation?” Paul asks, astute as always and TK doesn’t look him in the eyes as he shakes his head.
“I was just so angry. And scared. What if this meant he’d never talk to them? Was he trying to hide me? Am I not enough?” TK’s voice breaks just a little at the last word, his self-doubts rearing their ugly head.
“You are more than enough,” Judd says firmly, like there’s no other option. TK wishes Judd could climb in his head and shake some sense into that self-deprecation.
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you need to communicate,” Marjan says, waving away TK’s questions. “We can talk about me later, but anyone who has even a single brain cell can see that you two are crazy over each other. You have some sort of cosmic magnetic pull, and if you weren’t one of my best friends, I’d be so jealous.”
They all laugh at that but everyone seems to be in agreement.
“If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t put up with us,” Mateo says, and again the others murmur in agreement. “And we’re glad he gives us a place to hang out, even if we have to put up with y’all’s lovesick routine,” he finishes, wrinkling his nose.
“Grace pretended I was a study buddy,” Judd says and Grace sighs, like she’s heard this story one too many times.
“I’ve said sorry a million times, Judson!” Grace says, pretending to be outraged. Judd laughs, but continues.
“I don’t even know what my sorry ass could help her study for, but she played it off as such when we ran into her Mama at the bookstore one day. It took some needling, and a lot of confusion, but we talked about it and came out stronger. We all have insecurities, even superwomen like my Gracie here.” Judd says, nudging his wife a little as she blushes prettily. TK loves how in love Judd is with her. They’re definitely relationship goals.
“One thing I learned early on was that Grace is worth it. Every fight, cent, argument with her Daddy, breaking of relationships with bigots, was worth it. I can handle the whole world against me as long as I have my wonderful wife by my side. So you gotta ask yourself if Carlos is worth it,” Judd finishes and Grace kisses his cheek and holds his hand.
“Who knew you were such a romantic, Judd?” Mateo asks.
“Everyone!” Is the choral response.
“I think you should try and talk to him.” Paul tells TK. “I have a feeling that the insecurities stem from feeling unsafe in your position, thinking things were golden and realizing it was fools gold, but you need to clear the air. That man would lasso the moon if you asked and it’s easy to see he’s head over heels in love with your sorry behind, so I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.”
Everyone else nods along.
TK takes a few minutes to think about it. He doesn’t want to break up, and doesn’t even like this feeling of unknown between them. The way Carlos looked at him right before he left keeps swimming in his brain and someone who thought this was just for fun wouldn’t have looked like he’d been punched in the gut.
“We’ve got your back, brother, no matter what,” Judd says and TK smiles, looking around at his found family. One member is missing, and he’s hoping he can get Carlos back to join them soon enough.
“Marjan, another favor?” TK asks, widening his eyes just a little to make them the lethal puppy eyes Carlos complains about.
Marjan groans and swipes at him but jingles her keys.
“Let’s go, lover boy,” she says, linking her elbow with his.
“Judd, I’ll be back in a few to show you who’s boss at Mortal Kombat,” Marjan calls over her shoulder.
“You wish,” Judd shouts back.
“You’re the best,” TK says to Marjan and she laughs.
“You know it, Strand. And don’t you forget it. You’re lucky to have a bestie like me.”
TK laughs, but it’s absolutely true.
“The luckiest,” TK says with as much sincerity as possible.
“Okay, enough mushy talk,” Marjan says with mock disgust. “Let’s get you to your man!”
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