delusional girl.

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@999666whocares
delusional girl.
i guess i like him more than he likes me.
the contrast between yesterday and today is huge. he winked at me, waited for me and left together…what did i do wrong????
i sent him a message saying have fun tomorrow. ig he will leave me on read. i will remain kind. if i did something wrong it is probably a misunderstanding. if only he knew how much i like him…? life will go on eventually.
i think he hates me……i try to dissect what i did wrong. what did i doooooooo????
life is lil too much these days. i deserve some rest.
i cms today oops. i have been thinking about it alllllll week. i hope my thoughts about it can rest now.
i will carry these thoughts with me all my life time.
why is eating so difficult.
love is way too complicated for me.
i feel stupid facing him tomorrow. he probably thinks im a weirdo, which i am ofc but i just want him to like me. but whatever i will just go to work and do my job and go tf home. i should just accept the fact that it will never be mutual.
unrequited love.
🥺
i guess i said something wronggggg something. i guess he doesnt like me. im doneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i say for the 100th time hahaha. i just like him so much.
i said something weird to him via text and he hasn’t replied back for a week. i think he thinks im a super weirdo haha. but the weird thing i said was the truth.
i keep talking about him to my friend and i neeeeeed to stop. im trying so hard to forget him and remind myself he doesn’t like me. idk its just so unclear. maybe my other colleague was right and he likes the bachelor life.
oopsie started a streak with cms. today was so disappointing again. im soooo sure he thinks im a fucking freak stalker weirdo.
im gonna fucking cms on my wrist when im home im so fucking done.
work is hard and this fucking dude is giving me the most ridiculous and inconsistent vibes and it drives me insane.
i did a tiny cut because he gave me an answer that indicates to me that he doesnt want to hang out alone with me. sad about it. i think i need to get over this crush but i have such a soft spot for him. so maybe it wont go away but at least i can tell myself the feeling would NEVER be mutual.
whatever i need to focus on myself. make myself happy and learn new things!