Since it’s June and Pride Month, I want to share mine and Ariana‘s story. My name is Amanda. My birthday is July 9th, 1996, and I’m a cancer. Ariana is my girlfriend! Her birthday is November 19th, 1993, and she’s a Scorpio, for those interested.
Before I met Ari, I would say I wasn’t the best person I could be. I was doing things I wouldn’t consider things I personally should be/ wanted to be doing. August 11th, 2020 I decided I wanted to change myself. I decided I was stronger than addiction. I struggled there on after for about a month or so. Summer was calming down and so was I. I was in bed a lot. Cried a lot. Regretted a lot. All in all, mentally I was down and slowly climbing up. Also, I had broken up with my ex not too long before all of this, like July-ish? Anyway, I was trying to be a hoe… emphasis on the “trying.” I say this because Ari decided to show up September 5th, 2020. It’s funny, you can tell when I met her because my camera roll goes from selfies of me and pictures of weird Amanda shit to screenshots of her and pictures with her. We had a grand time ever since then. Hanging out, getting to know each other more, digging deep into each other’s minds and hearts and just learning about one another.
This sounds amazing, right? Like how does this sound like a story to read? Just keep reading.
Nah really, she was married. She was trying to figure out herself (maybe I’ll talk her into writing her side to all of this because maybe someone needs to hear it!) We’re going to call him X. I don’t feel it comfortable within myself to out him because we are civil! X had left to be stationed in a different country for a year or so. Ari was looking for girl-friends really. People she could hang out with and also people who were interested in her business! She was a health and life coach at this time so she wanted new clients. She was dipping into her sexuality a little bit too 👀
I will say Ari has always known she was a little gay, but she was married to a man. She also had two little girls, ages 1 and 3 at the time. So even the thought of changing this lifestyle was hard as ever. Well, here I come. I’m interested in her business AND interested in her. With a lot of work within their marriage, the thought of polyamory was spoken into existence. Now, before this I had not done much research in this subject and I was overall sad. I was sad I wouldn’t get Ari to myself, I was being selfish in a way. Ariana would just say “be patient.” Patience is something I’m learning within this life time, and this was going to be a huge lesson for me. From this time until March 11th, 2021, we were a poly couple. It was called a V type situation in the polyamory world. Ari was the tip and we were her points. X and I had no relation other than being civil for the children, which I’ll probably talk about later. X had been doing his own thing while being overseas during this time and ended up falling in love with a girl he met. March 11th is the day they decided it would be best for them to no longer continue with their marriage and they would be separated. I, as you could believe, was over joyed, but I also knew this was a whole new thing that was coming into mine and Ari’s relationship- the hurt and pain from this. She was hurt for a while and may still be a little hurt from the pain he caused. I wouldn’t blame her. He admitted to cheating on her their 10 year marriage with over 20 people and mentally and physically abusing her during that time too.
Ariana is one of the strongest people I have ever met. Going through all this and coming out on top. She was never really allowed to do anything she wanted because X never really let her. She’s very spiritual and full of wisdom and knowledge that needs to be spread to people. People need to hear her story of coming from nothing and building her own empire.
As mentioned, I’ll talk about my babies: The CHILDREN! I LOVE these two little girls with everything in me. The oldest is about to be 5 now and the youngest is about to be 3 and I’ve been there from the moment I stepped in. I met them and at first sight I knew they were going to be a big part of my life. I never take my eyes off of them, I take the oldest to and from school, we have day dates where I hang out with each one individually, and much more is done with them. Since X has been overseas, he has visited one time in the past almost two years, and the youngest was almost scared of him. He calls almost everyday, except the weekends when him and his girl are getting drunk, but since the babies are young, their attention span to talk on the phone is about five minutes and what does a 3 year old say on the phone? I just know I’m supposed to be in these girls lives for some reason. And I’m learning A LOT from them and I HOPE they’re learning a lot from me as well.
I felt MANY emotions throughout this entire process. I have felt the saddest I’ve ever felt in my life at one point. I was so angry. There was a point where I thought Ariana and I couldn’t be together at all because obviously she was married and maybe even wanted to try to fix her marriage, but there was something about Ari that I just couldn’t shake. I knew I not just wanted her but I needed her. If y’all believe in past lives, keep reading this paragraph, if not, you can skip down 😂 but I strongly feel as if we were hippies in the Woodstock era and I died from the same thing I struggled from, but BEAT, in this life time. I was obviously a man with long beautiful blonde hair and a rocking cool beard and she was my beautiful flower girlfriend with an amazing flower crown and danced all the time.
Ariana and I started dating in real life on September 21st, 2020. Today is June 19, 2022 and I’m happy to say that it is also Father’s Day and I’m celebrating and being celebrated as well. It feels nice to be noticed and acknowledged as almost a father figure in these girls lives. I love Ariana so much, man. Like, it’s so much. I’ve never felt anything like I feel for her. I moved in with her and her girls a while ago and X stays overseas still. I have an amazing job as a dog bather/ almost groomer.
I’m not sure if I’m ✨really a female✨ I just want to be Amanda. I am just whatever I am, I honestly don’t have a gender so I’m sure I’m more non binary than anything and that is me coming out, again, as I guess both female and male.
I love everyone and I hope those who read take something away from this! There is hope at the end of the tunnel and love is there when you least expect it. I never knew like… I could be loved as much as Ariana loves me. I feel beyond loved- more love than I ever could imagine getting from someone. We raise the girls together, we date, we communicate so well, the trust is unreal, and the other stuff is what I would consider my perfect. I would take this roller coaster over anything else because my TROPHY is Ariana. I absolutely love this woman with everything in me. My advice: just wait. It’s just right around the corner.
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