Im Just Tryina Get My Conk Sunked

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[migmildrim-blog-deactivated2020]

[peachypalm]

[patrickjmccormack]

[pissvortex]

me when i cook something using a wooden spoon

æh yës… myë Dwærvën Brjëw…. Händ Chürnëd….

[primordialsandstonedevice-deact]

movies are so weird people hang out like twice and theyre all like “im in love with you” calm down maybe

[actuallygodzilla]

*sweeping heaps of debris into the path of the oncoming roomba* eat well, my son

[corporation-cats]

[thursdaytgirl]

The shining is barely even a horror movie men just be like that

[clayjokes]

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

[scatterbone]

[likeitaughtyou]

[666ter-deactivated20171116]

WHAT!!!!!

[nocanonhere]

This sounds like one of those late night bumps that would come on adult swim back in the day

[menalaus]

love

[emmilions]

[heartbeatemoji]

im both of them

[aidn]

why does it seem like the other arctic monkeys don’t want to dress like that and monkey leader just makes them

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

CHOOSE YOUR FIGHTER

Snowseph pro: has nose con: wears sunglasses at night

Gurdy pro: height intimidates opponents con: looks like a sex toy

Gurdy (alt. form) pro: scary! con: scary :(

Girthy pro: lorge con: none. he is perfect

[artbymoga-deactivated20200516]

[justjames]

I love:

Big dogs

Small dogs

Fluffy dogs

Soft dogs

Tired dogs

Energetic dogs

Just dogs

[ughchekov]

this girl at work was like “would you date a guy shorter than you?” and i said “nah fam.” and this other guy was like “don’t you think that’s kinda shallow?” and i looked him dead in the eye and said “i’m a lesbian, carl.”

[70years]