musings

pretending to be a writer until i am one

[the-writers-bookshelf]

“Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.”

— Mason Cooley (1927-2002) American aphorist, academic (via macrolit)

[ladybluebottle]

Show up as you are this week. You are enough.🤍

[browndresswithwhitedots]

““She has no patina.” “What do you mean?” “Life’s made no significant mark on her, despite the fact she’s halfway through it. No real scratches or creases. It’s like whatever life has thrown at her, she’s impervious to it, she’s Kevlar. Her soul hasn’t been darkened or stained by what she’s experienced; but neither has it been healed or enriched in any kind of beautiful or interesting way.” “But isn’t that a good thing?” “No, for better or worse life should not leave anyone untouched. Our patina is what makes us interesting.”

— JONATHAN CARROLL

[a-museing]

I’m having so much fun writing. 

I finally started my novel yesterday and I’m surprised how much I’m enjoying it. And to think, this is as bad as the novel will ever be. 

[swiftful-thinking13]

dappled with the flickers of light...

[a-museing]

I’m researching locations to set my novel in and the one that I’m liking has a town called Bethel near it. I think that’s a sign.

[a-museing]

I used to share my opinions and thoughts so freely.

I’m starting to think it’s an age thing. Or maybe a lack of education. When we’re young we just willingly share our views because we think they are the right ones. Lack of real knowledge doesn’t seem to stop that. At least it didn’t for me. I remember being in high school and being told I was “too opinionated” because I didn’t agree with something some boy I was dating did. That has always stuck with me. 

---

I don’t want to offend anyone or cause conflict so I just keep to myself. I see both sides of the situation and the best in a person. 

Why rock the boat when the seas are rocking enough?

[hannahs-kudos-moving-deactivate]

Your writing matters simply for existing, even if you don't share it publicly.

[pandal0ve]

[cabinporn]

A-frame in Sullivan County, New York.

Contributed by Noah Kalina.

[everthesame]

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

[naznomad]

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

[hedwig-dordt]

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

[shredsandpatches]

DO A BARREL ROLL

[jottingprosaist]

#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??

Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

[mugsandpugs-deactivated20160917]

… guys

….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this? “HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”

… I mean. Comparatively…

[aphroditeinthetomb]

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts. So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.

[peccaviofthesparrow]

@master-of-strings

[teashoesandhair]

OK so I’m sure people are aware of this, but just in case you’re not: there is an annual ‘award’ given every year by the Literary Review for bad sex scenes in fiction. The above entry (sorry) by Morrissey won this illustrious award in 2015 (and yes, he threw a massive tantrum about it, because he’s Morrissey):

The best part of this is that the 2016 nominations were just announced, and OH BOY, there are some absolute crackers this year:

And in case anyone is interested, these are some of the entries that Morrissey beat to the top prize last year:

I agree. We are spoilt by fanfiction. 

[saanphoenix-deactivated20260411]

I don’t know who to laugh at more, the guy having an existential crisis before getting a blowjob or the one going, “Mmm. Papaya. Much more arousing than this nonsense.”

I will never fear about my porn again.

[anthonytheshuhite]

GO BACK TO SONGWRITING MORRISSEY

[arcticlucie]

If I ever write anything this atrocious, please, someone, anyone, smack me upside the head.

[disteal]

Come, sonny boy

[frootloopstruggle-deactivated20]

@sephet everything in this post is gold.

[seeminglyseph]

On days when I look at my writing and worry I have failed… I have not failed as hard as these people. jfc

[gehayi]

If you’re wondering who won for 2020, the answer is nobody.

Bad sex award cancelled as public exposed to ‘too many bad things in 2020′

[these-are-the-first-steps]

Oh my god ahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaah

[a-museing]

This is amazing. Makes me feel like I can write, no doubts now 🤣

[a-museing]

[a-museing]

I want to write so badly. I want the words to flow out my fingertips, filling the pages on the screen.

But I’m stuck somehow. Too much research is stalling the process. “Being ready” stops my being ready. It’s like I’m waiting for someone else to tell me how to do it, a guideline a ‘how-to’ on how to get where I want to go.

I’ve always had a hard time trusting myself. Believing that I have the answers within me isn’t something that comes naturally - though advice to others is simple to give. Do as I say not as I do, right?

[a-museing]

You are not my happiness.

s.b

[mirandaelizbeth]

[a-museing]

I've never chosen a "word of the year" or a mantra to live by for 12 months.

This year I did.

Clarity is what I chose.

I wanted to see things clearer in my relationship. I felt confused and like I could see the future but how I would get there was unclear.

So choosing clarity made sense. That was the goal.

[a-museing]

hey tumblr,

it’s been a while.