I think I'm so funny

[a-wandering-fae]

I have a lot of strokes of genius, because I'm a chronic masturbator and also really smart

[wintercorrybriea]

Versace 2002

[a-wandering-fae]

white and gold. next question

[dhbkiscbkyxcb]

the scariest thing about the new doctor who episode was the jumpscare of ruby having a boyfriend in next episodes preview

[phantomrose96]

He died doing what he loved. Being fatally injured.

[cosmonautroger]

[0v9]

[a-wandering-fae]

This bunny is so so clearly a dryad in disguise? It's whimsical demeanor? Dryad. It's semi-bipedal pose? Dryad. And most of all, that mushroom next to it? Literally called dryads saddle. The rouse is up bucko.

[a-wandering-fae]

What's stopping like amazing sculptors becoming the funniest paleontologists ever? Like if I could sculpt that well, I wouldn't use my powers to build guys with small dicks out of marble. I'd be making random shit from the floor and saying I'd unearthed a 'great breasted diplodocus' which is the 'only recorded fossil to have any fat tissue in tact, and the only known reptile to have had huge big naturals' and I think that should be more people's stance

[huffylemon]

[kettle-keen]

Some kid named Dylan put his name in by mistake and we all worked together to make this ominous message

[dhbkiscbkyxcb]

@a-wandering-fae

[a-wandering-fae]

This is very sensible. I'm a very scary person

[dysphoria-things]

free my man. he mightve done it but hey the other guy had it coming.

[blueberry0409-deactivated202503]

remus lupin

[dysphoria-things]

do NOT!!! put harry potter on my post about the united healthcare shooter

[a-wandering-fae]

Companies are gonna be so pissed when mice start using the Internet. Those little guys will accept the cookies but then be expecting milk too. Or so the saying goes.

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

the picture of dorian gray (1890) - oscar wilde

"fuck my yaoi life"

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

the picture of dorian gray (1890) - oscar wilde

"fuck my yuri life"

[rox-and-prose]

i love the french, i love the way they pronounce Rs like they're disgusted with them

[rox-and-prose]

the english meanwhile seem to have developed some sort of phobia about them

[ralkana]

When we were discussing the surgery I'd need for my sleep apnea, the surgeon told me I'd never be able to speak French properly because the French R is a uvular sound and I'd no longer have a uvula.

... that's okay? I'm not French? I don't speak French? I've always thought it was the weirdest thing for him to say!

[rox-and-prose]

Huh. Didn't know you could have French surgically removed.

[rox-and-prose]

sorry i just cannot get this out of my head. Like, "oh you speak french? i hear there's an operation for that"

[a-wandering-fae]

We really are just like computers. Like we can have our french language pack removed just like using "sudo rm -fr ./*" on linux to remove the french language pack! And in both it improves your life because you no longer are wasting energy on french!

[a-wandering-fae]

Breaking: object under so much stress it is undergoing plastic deformation.

[a-wandering-fae]

Did you guys know I literally invented lying?

[a-wandering-fae]

Had a dream where someone covered that B-52's song on a harpsichord and called it baroque lobster and it high key slapped but nobody has done this to my knowledge/findings and I now yearn for baroque lobster.

[a-wandering-fae]

Ok so it's been a while since I posted here but I have kinda a vent post/confession thing. I feel I'm constantly living in my own shadow. Attempting to live up to and meet the standards of who I once was and my deepest fear is that I have already passed the greatest day or the warmest hug or some other occasion in the syntax {positive superlative} {experience}.

For example. One random tuesday about 4 years ago at 3pm I wake up, groggy, discombobulated. I throw on a dressing gown and I stumble down stairs to get food. I spy some noodles on the shelf and an idea sparks within me. I pick the packet up. Fumble with it trying to open it before dumping its contents into a pan. I then pick my phone up and begin to film, Not the noodles as one would expect but my face. I filmed 15 minutes of me making plain noodles but filming only my face. It was the funniest shit ever. I will never top that. 😔

[a-wandering-fae]

So everyone knows vampires are unholy beings abandoned by god, but they can be made holy again with this one simple thing.

Sunlight and a collinder.

[a-wandering-fae]

I made an utterly terrible smoothie bowl today. Upsettingly it did pretty well. Perfect 300. Strikes every time.