Valentine's Day
I've been thinking about this shit since this morning and I don't think I'd be able to sleep without writing it or posting it here or somewhere, so here I am.
Yesterday was Valentine's day and, of course, our school has a lot of activities prepared for us. Since our class schedule is in the afternoon (1pm), they told us to go to school at 11 am if we wanted o participate in their activities. And, as usual, one of the booths was a wedding booth.
When I got to the school, I immediately saw my friends/classmates and then we roamed around the building where the booths were prepared. As we finished booth sighting, we went down already because we do not want to participate in any of them.
As we went to the court, we saw our classmates, there were four of them. They were another group of friends and we were asked if we had seen our top 1, which happens to be my crush.
We told them where we saw him then we were told that they were planning on having their friend, my girl classmate, and my crush joins in the wedding booth.
Of course, as a martyr, as I was, I cheered for them. I supported their plan up to the wedding ceremony. I even watched everything in their mock wedding.
What hurt me the most? Was the fact that he kissed her on the forehead when the fak pastor told the magic words—"You may now kiss the bride."
For goodness sake, I even had a picture of it because I was faking my support through taking pictures too when, in fact, I want to have a memory of that unfateful day.
But that doesn't end with that. During our class, our president went into our classroom with a paper bag and told us that it was for my crush. Apparently, someone gave it to him through our president. Then our teacher revealed that there were really many students who were eyeing and interested in him.
I feel like I lose just by the thought that he has a lot of admirers. Sino lang ba naman ako?
I know, I am not pretty. I am not sexy. I am not tall. I am not that smart. I am not good enough. There are people way better than me that's why I feel sad. Though, I don't have plans on making a move or confessing my feelings lol.
AND, when we were going out of the school, I found out that he had another wedding TO A GRADE 11 STUDENT. And that student was gay.
I really can't believe the charisma of that guy. He's not that handsome. I actually even feel that he's gay. But the fact that he attracts even gays??? I cannot...
So, to sum t all up, I just wanna say that I am sad and felt bad for not being able to speak my feelings, for faking my support, for being a martyr, and for knowing the fact that I don't have a chance to him. huhu.
I wish I would be able to forget him already. I know I don't stand a chance but I wish he notices me. *teary eyes*
