Peter Pettigrew

18 || Marauder || Order Member Former Gryffindor

[gideonprewett]

[hottestmarauder]

It was Moony’s words that solidified the truth for James. Wormtail and I, and that moment of realization on face. Realization that James should have hated him for having – except it was true. Because there was Wormtail, shrinking back from them like a – 

Like a rat. 

James’s hand moved of its own accord, and for as messed up as everything felt there was some comfort in the way Moony’s did, too. At least something was still working. That wasn’t on James’s mind for long, though, not with Wormtail stunned on the ground, the fear in his voice only reinforcing what James was slowly, slowly beginning to realize was the truth. The impossible, nightmarish truth. Because what could Wormtail ever have to fear from them? They would forgive anything, accept anything – except the unthinkable. The impossible. 

“Don’t you Prongs me, you bloody piece of shit.” He spat as he moved toward Wormtail, grabbing him off the ground by the collar of his shirt and struck by the fact that this was his second time doing that to someone tonight. Two different traitors, but this was the one that hurt people. For a minute James just stared at Peter, trying to make sense of the betrayal that he’d committed. Peter, who was always the most quiet of them. The most thoughtful, James always thought. The most easygoing, happy to go along with the group with good humor and a positive attitude. Meeker, perhaps, but bold when he needed to be, where it counted. And in other places too, it seemed, and finally numbness had been replaced by anger, stronger and more consuming than anything he’d ever felt. “Well? Got anything to say for yourself? And don’t fucking try to play innocent with me, I already tried everything I bloody could to convince myself it wasn’t you. So talk, before I fuck you up so badly you won’t be able to anymore.”

[hotterthanprongs]

All too often Sirius was a one-track mind person. Like now when he’d been so focused on what he’d done to Moony and his fears that both Moony and Prongs were going to be angry that he’d caused this he’d forgotten about the real cause of it all, Pete. Moony and Prongs didn’t and Sirius quickly scooped up Peter’s wand before pulling his own out and aiming it at him. He hung back, not because he wasn’t angry but because like always Prongs was in charge. There was some comfort in Prongs anger because it validated his own. Worm-Peter had betrayed them all, had gotten people killed. Had turned Sirius and Moony against each other and now was trying to do what, act innocent? It was hard to hold his tongue at that, hard not to yell at the other about being a bloody bastard. Even harder not to just start hexing him, fuck what he had to say for himself, Sirius didn’t care. Prongs did, and that was enough to stop Sirius, the only thing keeping his own anger from boiling over once again.

[abadrat]

It was terrifying not being able to move as the one friend —brother, he thought he could count on to give him a chance was pulling him off the ground. Pete had almost forgotten that Prongs had a temper that could match Padfoot’s. The other did a better job of keeping it under control and lately keeping it under wraps that it was shocking to see it. Scary to be on this side of it. With wide eyes Pete stammered trying to find something to say, not yet ready to give up being innocent. “What? I….I don’t…. It’s not….. It’s not my fault.” It wasn’t his fault. But it was clear that he’d gotten caught so he needed to change tact. He needed Prongs to understand, to protect him. “You-know-who came and he…he would have killed me, Prongs.” Maybe the Dark Lord reasoned with him instead of threatening him but Pete wasn’t an idiot, he didn’t really have a choice. While he heard Sirius’ mumbled, ‘then you should have died,’ he didn’t acknowledge it, instead focusing on the one he thought would understand and help him. “I was trying to save all of us! You’re my brothers!” Or he thought they were….they weren’t acting very brotherly right now as the other two just stood wands out while Prongs assaulted and threatened him. Sirius scoffing at his words, had he done something to protect them from the Dark Lord Pete wouldn’t have had to, but no he just ran. Pete continued to focus on Prongs, he just had to reach him, appeal to him. “I can’t believe you’re threatening me. I thought you’d at least hear me out.” Strong words but the tone he delivered them was an odd mix of hurt and pleading. Pete was the victim here, first with the Dark Lord and now with his own brothers.

[hotterthanprongs]

Sirius relaxed a little when he found out it was just Max and he’d only asked questions. Which he bloody well shouldn’t have because Moody told him to butt his big nose out of it. But at least nothing was done to hurt Moony. At least not by them. It was obvious he had and some of his anger came back on himself now. Sirius looked down at his shoes, ashamed at having doubted Moony. At letting Peter get into his head like that. “Cause you’re my brother,” he finally said before adding a soft, “if you still wanna be.” The insecurity he hid, or tried to hide, seeped into his voice at the end. Because that was a thing that could happen. Something Peter’s betrayal made clear. Unlike him and Reg who would always be brothers even when one or both of them denied it, the blokes could stop. They could just walk away. It was one of his fears and Wormtail’s betrayal had made it feel like a real possibility. Sirius couldn’t manage to look at either Moony or Prongs right then. This whole mess was his fault, he should have gone straight to Prongs instead of trying to handled it on his own.

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Remus was taken aback by Padfoot’s quiet words and the way he couldn’t seem to meet his eye. He seemed sorry – genuinely so – and it didn’t make sense. Not if he was the traitor. Not even if he was just trying to play Prongs. Nothing made sense anymore, not with this whole thing getting tangled up in ways Remus couldn’t even begin to make sense of. Why was Padfoot even here, if he knew both he and Wormtail knew what he might be up to? Didn’t he know? Remus couldn’t take this anymore. “Okay, what the bloody hell is going on? Because Wormtail and I – ” He blurted out but stopped short, looking from Padfoot’s dejected face to Prongs’ uncharacteristically guarded one to Wormtail – slowly edging away from them? What the bloody hell was he – ?

Oh fucking hell. Wormtail.

Wormtail, who told him about Padfoot, planted the idea that he was the traitor in Remus’s mind. Wormtail, who lived at his parents’ despite their offers for him to stay with the lot of them at Padfoot’s place, giving him hours upon hours completely on his own ever day. Wormtail, who had wanted him to stay hidden inside while he dealt with Padfoot and Prongs – and since when did they ever deal with Padfoot and Prongs? Realization hit him like a punch in the stomach, but that didn’t stop him from instantly raising his wand and non-verbally casting a disarming spell at Wormtail. At the same time a stunning spell flew from Prongs’s wand, also aimed at Wormtail, and it was that action more than anything else that hit Remus was the stark realization that after tonight, nothing was ever going to be the same.

But maybe he’d already known that.

[abadrat]

He should have moved faster but he was trying not to attract attention to himself. Peter was counting on Padfoot and his temper to distract the other two. Even after Padfoot deflated and went for the kicked dog look,honestly didn’t he get tired of being pathetic, he was still hoping it would be enough to hold Moony and Prongs’ attention. He just had to make it a little closer to the bushes and then he could turn into a rat and get the hell out of there. If only Prongs hadn’t forced him to put up wards around his parents’ house he could have disapperated. He should have moved faster. Fuck. In one instant he was disarmed and stunned. Peter’s eyes shifted from Prongs to Moony and back again, shock and dismay in them. He couldn’t believe his friends were turning on him without even hearing his side. “Prongs?” Disbelief that Prongs, of all of them, would turn on him clear in his voice. “Moony? What the hell?” He was caught and despite his previous firm belief that his friends would listen to him, that Prongs would listen to him, he was now scared. Peter was faced with all three of his friends pointing their wands at him. It didn’t make sense, they were all turning on him. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Maybe people had been right all along, maybe he wasn’t really a part of their group but a tag along. And now they weren’t even going to give him a fair chance they were just going to….he wasn’t sure what. Padfoot looked murderous, Moony looked sick, and Prongs….for the first time Peter wasn’t sure what was going on with Prongs. He was their friend didn’t that count for anything any more?

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Remus had been wide awake when he heard the knock at the window, but it startled him all the same. It was the same knock that had greeted him at his parents’ from time to time, but that felt like a different lifetime ago. Before Padfoot had turned on them, told him he was useless, told him to give up. Before the McKinnons started asking him questions they should have been asking Padfoot. Before he felt like he only had one real friend left. Even Wormtail seemed off, but he’d always been the most jumpy of the lot of them. With what was going on with Padfoot, he had plenty of reason to be worried. Remus didn’t know why they hadn’t both gone to Dumbledore yet, except for the fact that it was still, maybe possible he was wrong about Padfoot, and some stupid part of him couldn’t seem to let go of that hope. 

Especially now, with him and Prongs outside the window. If they were both here…that was a good thing, right? Prongs would never turn traitor, not even for Padfoot. Or was this all some sort of plot? A way for Padfoot to get to all three of them at once? In that case – maybe it made sense not to let him in, but it didn’t make sense to leave Prongs alone with him, either. Prongs would never do that to them. Unless it wasn’t really Prongs. Grabbing his wand, Remus nodded at Wormtail as he got up quietly, slipping toward the window and hiding in the shadows, ready to jump into action the moment he needed to. 

[hottestmarauder]

This wasn’t right. James knew instantly that something was off; Wormtail had never tried to keep them out, and it only increased the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. He wanted so badly for this not to be true, not to be real. “What the hell, Wormtail?” He hissed, moving closer to the glass and trying to peer around Wormtail to see what might be hiding inside. “You got a bird in there or something?” He didn’t, and James knew that. What he didn’t know was if Wormtail was going to lie about that or not. Whether Wormtail would let them in to talk to him, and stupid as that might be James couldn’t help hoping for it. If Wormtail let them in, there was still hope. There was still a chance Padfoot’s brother had gotten it wrong, that Wormtail was still on their side, that everything hadn’t been broken. 

He would never forgive himself, if that was the case.

He would never forgive himself either way.

He tapped on the glass again. “C’mon, mate, let us in. It’s important.”

[abadrat]

Fuck. Why couldn’t Prongs be easy like Moony. Though he’d have liked it better if Moony had left the room but he had a feeling that wasn’t going to happen. Peter felt like a rat in a trap. The comment about a bird irked him more than it would normally. He could have had a bird in there. Why did everyone always assume he was incapable of having a bird? Prongs tapping interrupted his mental rant. Right, he had bigger problems than a bird right then. Helplessly he looked over in the direction of Moony before looking back at the window. “Mum’s asleep. I’ll…I’ll come out.” Peter slid the window open and moved to crawl out of it before Prongs could start crawling in. This was better. He’d get them away from the window so Moony couldn’t hear and he could still pull this off. Prongs was harder but not impossible. He could do this. Yeah.

[hottestmarauder]

It was all James could do to hug Padfoot tightly and whisper a quiet “thank you,” to his best mate. Padfoot deserved so much more than that, but it was all James had in him right now, as he felt like everything else he’d every held dearly was crumbling to pieces around him. But he still had Padfoot. He would always have Padfoot, and that was one thing James was not going to ever let himself question again. Not for a second.

“Yeah. We’ll start at his house. Let’s go.” He pulled back to look at Padfoot a moment, serious, a silent understanding passing between them of what they were about to do. About what was about to happen. This, more than anything, would make everything real. This was the beginning of the end.

He gave Padfoot a nod and then led the way out of the house, grabbing his best mate’s arm and apparating them both outside Wormtail’s house. A shiver ran down his spine as he looked at the place they’d spent time at over summers, suddenly intimidating shrouded as it was in darkness. “C’mon,” he whispered to Padfoot, leading the way to the backyard. The same way they’d travelled when they came to get Wormtail to sneak out with them summer nights after they were all of age, and this felt like some sick, twisted version of that as they came to a stop outside Wormtail’s window. 

For a long moment James just stared, wished this were any other night and he was here for any other reason than to find out if Wormtail really was the traitor. He still could’t quite believe it, he realized, even though it was supposed to be true. How could he believe it, unless and until he saw Wormtail lying right to his face? How could he believe that was possible? “I need to hear him say it,” he breathed to Padfoot. “Just…follow my lead, yeah?” Not that James had any semblance of a plan as he reached out to knock on the window. The same knock they’d always used to indicate it was them, except tonight James was pale and shaken and felt like he was going to be sick. “Psst, Wormtail! It’s us. Let us in.” He hissed, hoping that as weird as this was, Wormtail would not assume it had anything to do with what they knew. 

[hotterthanprongs]

This was wrong. Prongs shouldn’t be thanking him. It was like their positions had been reversed and Sirius didn’t like it one bit. At least Prongs was still calling the shots, there was relief in that. Even if what they were doing was wrong. Wrong because this shouldn’t be happening. Prongs should have been the kind of bloke you didn’t betray. He was the kind of bloke you didn’t betray. Except Peter had done that. Somehow it had been easier to think Moony could than to think Peter had. Pete was a follower, more than the rest of them, and Prongs was the kind of bloke you followed.

As wrong as it all was Sirius didn’t hesitate to nod at Prongs’ words and the look that passed between them. This was it. It was real and there was no going back. After tonight the Marauders would be three instead of four. Or so he hoped, there was still unresolved things between him and Moony thanks to Pete. That wasn’t something to worry about. No, right now it was about Peter. He’d deal with the rest later.

For the first time Sirius felt nervous going to Peter’s house. Did his parents know? Where they involved too? Or was Peter lying to everyone? There were so many questions and all Sirius really wanted to do was hex him. Especially after Prongs whispered the thing Sirius was worried about, he needed to hear it from Peter. Pete the liar. Somehow he doubted he would but he nodded his understanding, hiding his wand but keeping it close because Sirius knew better than Prongs how dangerous liars could be.

[abadrat]

Moony coming over had been unexpected, and if he were honest unwanted. Peter had enough on his plate without Moony hanging around too close. But he couldn’t turn his friend away. Especially since it was his fault that Moony didn’t feel safe at his own place. Though his own fears had him wondering if it was just a ruse to keep tabs on him. That was stupid of course, both Moony and Padfoot had eaten out of his hand. Moony had even gone a little further and wondered about Prongs which insured he wouldn’t tell the other bloke. As long as Prongs didn’t get involved it would work out.

So of course Prongs had to show up. It had been a long time since he’d heard that knock. At least since last Christmas. He didn’t need the whispered words to know it was Prongs but the ‘us’ in those words made his heart sink because that meant it was him and Padfoot. Shit. With a nervous look over at Moony he went over to the window. “I uh can’t. But I can come out.” Yeah that’d work. He’d go out tell them some shit and they’d leave. Moony would stay inside. This was fine. Yeah…

Looking back over at Moony he whispered softly, “I’ll get rid of them.” Fuck.

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Wormtail looked like he regretted his insinuation about Padfoot, but it was too late for that. It had been made, and now Remus couldn’t shake it from his mind. Because it made sense – if he assumed all of the absolute worst things about one of his best mates. One of the people who’d kept his secret for so many years. Who’d become a bloody animagus for him. Who’d given him a place ot live. …Who’d nearly caused him to kill Snape in their fifth year. Because he was reckless. Because he did things without thinking. Because he didn’t care about consequences. “…Right,” Remus answered Wormtail, but the words felt even weaker this time around. Slowly he leaned back in his chair, disturbed by his current line of thinking but unable to shake it, as much as he hated himself for entertaining it at all. He was going to be bloody pissed at Wormtail when he talked to Padfoot and found out this was a big heaping pile of nothing – but the fact that he needed to talk to Padfoot at all had him hesitant, had him questioning everything he thought had been true for at least the past few months. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” he repeated again, some of his conviction returned though it felt uncomfortably close to wishful thinking. He stood up, frustrated, angry with himself and angry with Wormtail and angry with Padfoot and done with this entire conversation, even though he already knew for certain his mind would not be letting it go anytime soon. He could try, though, and with that in mind he snatched up the book he’d been reading before Wormtail showed up, heading toward the stairs so he could hide out in his room but pausing to look at Wormtail once more. “I’m gonna go read. You don’t need anything else healed, do you?”

[abadrat]

It wasn’t hard to pick up the weakness in his answer. Peter could practically see the wheels in Moony’s head turning. Connections finally being made. Even Moony’s repeated words didn’t shake his confidence that he’d gotten to Moony. “No, I’m good. Thanks, mate.” A distracted, sad sort of smile accompanied the thanks as if he too were mulling over what had been said. As soon as Moony disappeared upstairs Pete leaned back finally relaxing. One down. Padfoot would be easier. Lately he was quick to anger, more so than normal. There was a good possibility he’d get more of a verbal lashing from the other then he’d gotten from Moony. But unlike Moony it wouldn’t take too much to plant the seed in his head. He was certain neither would go to Prongs with their accusations because James wouldn’t stand for something like that. Both blokes would be far too afraid of losing that friendship to do so. Which meant that both would be cautious and wary, there would be no talking to Dumbledore or anyone else. Not until they were certain and they’d never get that certainty since both were innocent. It was perfect. They’d stay busy with this for a while and Peter would have some leeway. By the time it all came out, it would be over and Prongs would help him mend fences.

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Friendliness. A word that should have been harmless in any other situation, and yet hearing it now made Remus’s skin crawl. For as long as he’d known Padfoot he couldn’t ever remember seeing him be friendly with the younger boy. And he’d thought for certain after what happened when he was out on that mission with McKinnon would destroy any lingering ties he felt toward Regulus – as much as he’d always insisted there were none. Remus had never seen them as a threat before. Maybe he’d been wrong. But that didn’t make it any easier to hear the next words Wormtail said. “Oi! We’re not thinking anything, Wormtail,” Remus hissed at his mate, casting a glance over his shoulder as if someone might have come in while they were talking, and hating that he suddenly felt like he couldn’t be completely open in the one place he’d ever been able to be. Then again, Wormtail had a point; he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t being open anymore. Remus hadn’t given much thought to whatever it was Padfoot was up to, but if even Prongs didn’t know… “Maybe they’re unreleated,” he felt compelled to state, even though there was little conviction to his words. Remus let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand over his face. “Alright, we’ll just – ….I’ll talk to him. Without letting him know about anything you said. Maybe it’s all just some big misunderstanding.”

[abadrat]

Peter looked completely chastised and sorry for the words he’d said. Except he wasn’t. Moony’s reaction to them gave him hope. That was not the actions of a bloke who believed one hundred percent his mate wasn’t up to no good. Looking over his shoulder as if he didn’t want to be caught out. Pete had him. It wasn’t sure enough to make him worry about smiling, but he had him. “Right. Sorry, Moony,” Peter mumbled back making sure to look guilty for suggesting it. Not terribly hard because he did feel a little guilt. But that guilt was a bad taste he could swallow down, the knowledge that they were all going to live keeping him from wavering. It was too late now anyway, Peter was a traitor all he could do was see it through, cling to the hope he’d survive. At Moony’s words, a noticeable lack of conviction in them this time, Peter nodded a little too eagerly like he too was desperate for it to be true. His eyes giving away that he too lacked conviction, difficult to pull off since Moony was right but as worried and uncertain he was right then not too difficult. “Right,” he half-heartedly agreed. Moony’s decision made him let out a sigh, passed off as being worried and frustrated like Moony was. In fact it was actually him being frustrated that Moony was still insistent on talking about this at all. At least he was going to not bring Peter into this and if history was any indication bringing up Regulus to Padfoot in any way was going to end up badly. Maybe this would go his way. “I’m sure it is, has to be, right?” Again Peter looked over at Moony letting his nervousness and fear show, using it to his advantage even if it wasn’t nervousness and fear about Padfoot being the traitor. Moony didn’t know that.

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Padfoot. Fuck. Remus felt like he’d just been punched in the gut. Like he was going to be sick. Like his world was crumbling to pieces – but no. It wasn’t. It wasn’t what he and Wormtail were thinking. It was something else, it had to be. There was no part of Remus that doubted what Wormtail was telling him – because there was no fathomable reason as to why Wormtail would make up something like that – but there was a piece they were missing. There had to be. There were plenty of reasons Padfoot would be talking to his brother. Maybe they’d run into each other. Had a row. Padfoot was probably going to storm back home in a rage any second now. But Wormtail wouldn’t look so bloody freaked out about something like that. Wouldn’t be telling him not to tell Dumbledore. Remus looked up at Wormtail again when he trailed off, the word traitor hanging heavily in the air between them. It wasn’t Padfoot. It couldn’t be. And in that case, wouldn’t it be better for Dumbledore to hear about something weird going on from them, before he heard about it from someone else? He ignored Wormtail’s words about Prongs, because he wasn’t ready yet to start fully committing to that line of thinking. In fact, he still hated himself for the way it was even there at all, nagging at the back of his mind. “We’ve got to talk to Padfoot,” he decided. “It’s – this is Padfoot we’re talking about, Wormtail. I’m sure whatever you saw was just – …nothing.” Remus frowned slightly, his voice losing some of its conviction because Wormtail certainly didn’t think it was nothing. “That idiot brother of his was probably just trying to freak you out, didn’t want to let on that Padfoot was threatening him or something. We’ll just ask him about it when he gets home, he’ll clear everything up.” And if he didn’t, well – that would answer their question, too.

[abadrat]

Damn it, was it really too much to ask of Moony to just jump the conclusion he was laying out for him? Pete felt like he was grasping at straws to keep Moony from ruining everything. He was trying to save them all and his mate was not cooperating, at fucking all. Damn. His eyes grew wide and uncertain as Moony decided they had to talk to Padfoot. But he heard that slight loss of conviction, a lifeline in all this mess. A lifeline that Pete was gonna cling to till he could hang Padfoot with it. Just temporarily of course. They were brothers. Whatever he did could be undone. The incident with Snape showed that. If Moony and Prongs could get over Padfoot nearly exposing Moony’s secret and killing Snape they could all get over him making them think each other was the traitor. It was for a far better reason than Padfoot’s temper getting the better of him. This was to save all their lives. He didn’t enjoy any of this, it was really fucking stressful saving all their skins. But after this they’d all think he was a hero and they’d be closer for it. And alive. Yeah. “If…If you think that’s best, Moony. I’m sure you’re right. It was probably nothing. I probably just misunderstood the friendliness between them. I’m sure when we ask him about it he’ll be happy to tell us all about what really happened. He’ll probably laugh at us for even thinking it could be something else. There’s no way he’d get mad at us for even thinking he might be… well you know.” Peter looked over at Moony as if he was being completely serious. Even managed a relieved smile at the thought of Padfoot setting them straight. Padfoot who wasn’t even there, fuck. Oh but wait… “Maybe he’ll finally tell us where he keeps disappearing to. Since he’s been so secretive lately.” All of that said with nothing but innocent wondering. He certainly wasn’t trying to put Padfoot in a bad light. Or not trying to look as if he were actually.

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Remus jumped at the immediacy and intensity of Wormtail’s exclamation, eyeing his friend in a wary sort of surprise. Going to Dumbledore seemed like the obvious solution to anything Wormtail might have seen, any threats he might have received, and his mind darted back to the way Wormtail had asked if they were alone just moments before. Before he could say anything, though, Wormtail was speaking again, and Remus’s eyes flew open even wider. Padfoot? What the hell did Padfoot have to do with any of this? The knot in the pit of his stomach grew as Wormtail kept talking, at the desperation in his mate’s voice and the unspoke accusation that lay in his words. Padfoot’s brother. His Death Eater brother. But what did Padfoot have to do with that? Unless…the traitor. Except – it wasn’t Padfoot. It couldn’t be Padfoot. And yet…hadn’t Wormtail said it was Padfoot’s idea they all go out the day the inferi attacked headquarters? Immediately Remus felt sick, not just at the thought of Padfoot having anything to do with the leak but also at himself even entertaining the thought. What would Prongs say, if he knew what Remus was thinking right now? Swallowing hard, he leaned forward and looked at Wormtail with a steady gaze. Whatever was going on, he needed to hear it straight before his mind started to go to even worse places. Wormtail was just overreacting, surely, worried about people jumping to the same conclusion Remus himself almost had, and already he hated himself for it. He would tell Remus what really happened, then they would go to Dumbledore – or Moody, even – and they would know what to do. And Padfoot would be fine. They would all be fine. And yet, still there was that knot of dread in his stomach as he asked quietly, “What did you see, Wormtail?”

[abadrat]

Fuck. He’d been hoping Moony would jump to the obviously conclusion that he was hinting at. Padfoot would be a lot fucking easier. But still Moony was easier than Prongs. He could do this. This could still work. This had to work. The desperation for it to work would probably help sell it. “I…” Pete looked down as if he didn’t want to say when really he was fucking desperate for something good. Lying was fucking hard. “Padfoot,” he settled on going for it all. if Moony wouldn’t jump to the conclusion he was laying out for him on practically a fucking gold platter damn it, then he’d just have to spell it out. Looking back up at Moony he swallowed hard as if this was difficult for him when in reality he was just fucking nervous the other wouldn’t buy it. “He didn’t see me, it wasn’t till after he left that Regulus saw me.” The fucking little brat that was going to get his if Peter had any say in it. “I dunno what they were talking about but if we tell Dumbledore right now with all the talk of a traitor….” Scared Peter looked back down as if worried about Padfoot. He knew exactly what would happen if they went to Dumbledore and he was not gonna let that happen. Chewing his lip nervously he looked back over to Moony. “Prong’s would hate us.”

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

“’Course,” Remus answered, concern still coloring his face and his voice as he sat down opposite Wormtail. Concern that only increased at the way Wormtail answered his question. “What?” Remus asked, his face pulling into a frown. “No, it’s just us,” he answered easily enough, though it left an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Why should it matter if the other blokes were here? There were no secrets among them – or so Remus had thought. He leaned forward, his concern and uneasiness increasing as Wormtail began. He’d seen something he wasn’t supposed to. Instantly Remus’s mind was flooded with questions, but then – a warning. “Who’s he? What did you see, Wormtail?” Whatever danger there was, Remus knew that if Wormtail just kept it to himself it would only get worse. Lead to something that could harm them all, depending on what he’d seen. Not to mention – “Whatever it was, we’ve got to tell Dumbledore. He won’t let them make good on that threat, mate. None of us will.” There was nothing but conviction in Remus’s voice, then, because he meant it. None of them was in this alone, even if there were times Remus thought the rest of them would be better off if he was. He was far better at lending support than taking it.

[abadrat]

“NO!” His answer shot out of him, fear clear in his eyes. Dumbledore knowing anything would be a quick trip to Azkaban for him. No Dumbledore had to stay out of this. Quickly he tried to cover it up. “I mean I..I could be wrong. We can’t get Padfoot in trouble with Dumbledore.” Peter looked over at Moony eyes wide as though he’d said more than he meant to. “We can’t tell anyone, Moony. We gotta keep this between us.” Desperation flooded his voice because he was desperate. Though desperate to save his own skin not Padfoots. Even though saving himself would lead to Padfoot, lead to all of them, being saved. “Padfoot’s little brother hexed me.” His voice was quiet, shaky, as he told what happened. “He’s the one who said he’d kill me if I told, which is why I..I think I saw something.” Peter just needed Moony to start thinking that maybe Padfoot could be the traitor. And to not tell anyone. The mention of Dumbledore had wrecked havoc on his already frazzled nerves. For this to work Moony had to keep quiet, Padfoot too, because he was gonna be turning him against Moony later. With those two at odds, and both keeping quiet about it Peter should be able to do this. Prongs would fix it all later, like he always did. The point was to stay alive.

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Remus looked up in surprise when he heard the door open. He wasn’t expecting anyone for a while, but he had no idea what Padfoot was up to so maybe it was him. Or it was – “Wormtail?” Instantly worry settled in the pit of his stomach, just from the sound of his mate’s voice. He was clearly in pain, something the next thing he said confirmed. Fearing the worst, Remus shut the book and stood up, quickly turning to face Wormtail now he was in the room and feeling a flood of relief when he saw it was just a stinging hex. Which wasn’t to say he was glad to see his mate in pain, but there were far worse possibilities these days. “Bloody hell, mate! Hang on,” Remus pulled his wand from his pocket and stepped forward to examine Wormtail’s face. Whoever hexed him had done a good job of it, but a few spells and the swelling was slowly starting to reduce. “It’ll take a few minutes, but the swelling’s already starting to go down. You should sit,” he added with a nod toward the couch he’d just been occupying, moving to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “So what happened, mate?” He asked as he walked back over to Wormtail, offering him the water. A stinging hex seemed too gentle for a Death Eater, but it was hard to imagine where else Wormtail might have run into trouble.

[abadrat]

Moony, perfect. He and Prongs were both better at the healing charms than Padfoot. Plus if Moony was alone it would be easier to come up with an excuse for what happened. The relief wasn’t immediate, but it was there, the pain slowly leaving. Fucking prick, he thought again as he sat. Gladly he took the water and took a big drink, “Thanks, mate.” Relief flooded his voice as though he’d been hexed with something much worse. Moony’s question though had him looking down, reluctant to talk about. “Are the other blokes here?” he asked quietly. He needed a solid excuse but he also had to make sure no one else was here before he started in on one. He let his worry show, looking around nervously as though he were a kid about to get scolded. When he got the confirmation that they were alone he started. “I…I’m not sure if I should say, Moony. I mean…I think I saw something I wasn’t supposed to. And….and he said he’d kill me if I talked. The hex was just a warning.” Timid, scared, nervous. Perfect. Peter looked over at Moony frightened. And he was. It was far too soon for the blokes to know. They wouldn’t understand until it was over. And if by some fluke Dumbledore’s side one Peter still thought he could get away with it all. Play both sides and stay alive, that was the plan. He needed this to work.

[seriouslyfuckoffwiththechocolate]

Talking with Padfoot – even spending that day hanging out with the blokes – had only done so much for Remus’s mood since Tooker discovered his secret. How could it, when it had all been almost immediately followed by that attack on headquarters? If Tooker had been looking at Remus like he was some sort of monster who didn’t belong beforehand, Remus could only imagine what the older bloke was thinking of him now. It was impossible to shake the worry that he might be the first person to come to mind in the search for a traitor, but Remus couldn’t help himself. Surely Tooker had already told others. Surely the word was spreading, and Remus had been too terrified to stick around headquarters after he helped Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail clear out the last of the inferi to see what anyone else might have to say to him. Maybe he should have stuck around, because now that there were whispers of a traitor he couldn’t help feeling like at least one person was going to be looking his way. Instead he was keeping to himself, which was easy enough with Prongs occupied with Lily and Padfoot off doing who know what with who knew who. Now, for instance – he was alone at their place, and if he was being honest he was glad for it. He appreciated his mates’ support more than anything – but he couldn’t shake the guilt that he was bringing them down. Now more than ever. A train of thought he was trying to push aside by burying himself in a book on dark magic he’d picked up at headquarters in his best effort at doing research on what might be coming their way next. 

[abadrat]

Fuck! Peter was still fuming about his run in with Black. Hard not to be with his face double in size and hurting like hell. His first thought had been to see if his mother was at home. But then he thought it might be more advantageous to let the blokes see him like this. An excuse would have to wait till he saw who was at the flat but he’d figure one out. He let himself in to the flat, calling out as he entered. “Anyone here?” Peter let a little more pain than he was actually in into his voice, sounding pathetic never did him any harm. “I need some help here.” Slowly, it was bloody difficult to move around when you couldn’t see. Fucking little brat, he was going to get him back, somehow. It took Peter a moment to make out who was here but he smiled, or tried to before realizing that wasn’t going to work. “Ow! Moony, thank Merlin one of you were home. I was afraid you’d all be out. Can you help?” Peter was hoping Remus would let on if he was the only one at home or not.

[markedregulus]

A short, cold laugh left Regulus’s lips when Pettigrew said he was protecting his mates. Maybe he was actually stupid enough to believe the Dark Lord could possibly owe him anything let alone the rest of the idiots, maybe he was just saying that in an effort to save face. Whatever the reason, it was the biggest load of crap Regulus had ever heard. “Sure you are,” he scoffed. He wasn’t about to say anything that might suggest the Dark Lord would not keep his word, but Pettigrew was an even bigger fool than he thought if he wasn’t thinking that, too. His glare deepened at the other’s implication that he was scared of him. Stupid, slimy piece of shit. The only thing Regulus was worried about was killing someone who was actually doing something of use to the Dark Lord – and it was looking more and more like that was the case. Struck by the urge to either vomit or start laughing hysterically, instead his wand hand twitched and he shot a stinging hex straight into Pettigrew’s face. The satisfaction that came from the action less than he’d have thought, but Regulus refrained from doing anything more. If this bloke was lying, Regulus was about to find out and then they would seek him out and kill him then. Only he was right – he was here. There was probably a reason. So Regulus couldn’t seriously harm him, but what was he going to do about a stinging hex? Run to the Dark Lord crying? Regulus would give all the galleons in the world to see that one happen. Instead he just glowered at the other bloke. “Run home, rat,” he spat at him before he turned away and strode into the mansion. 

[abadrat]

Weird that someone who let a bloke burn his mark into his arm would be laughing that Peter had made a deal. Or maybe he didn’t believe Peter had anything to offer the Dark Lord. But he did and his friends would be safe. What did Voldemort care about a couple of just out of school kids. Once he came into power it wasn’t as if Prongs, Moony, or even hot headed Padfoot would be an obstacle to him. They were just brainwashed by Dumbledore, they’d see and it would be okay. Peter didn’t have long to think on these thoughts before a burst of light came out of the other’s wand hitting him directly in the face. “Fuck!” he called out in obvious pain. That fucking bastard hit him with a stinging hex. There was shit all he could do about it right then but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. Somehow he’d find a way to get the little bastard back. For now he settled with mumbling something as the other passed, as if he hadn’t meant it to be overheard, only that’s exactly what he wanted. “I can see why Sirius is glad to be rid of ya now.” It wasn’t the truth, but Regulus didn’t know that. The fact was Sirius had been gutted to find out about Regulus taking the mark. Now Peter knew how he was going to cover up his tracks in case Regulus talked to someone. Remus might be harder to work on then Sirius but Peter thought he’d be able to turn both boys against each other, for now. It’d work out in the end, they’d make up just like they did after the incident with Snape. Having a plan almost made up for the pain he was in as he slowly walked off barely able to see now but glad to be rid of this place even if just temporarily. Almost, fucking hell stinging hexes hurt. Bastard.

[markedregulus]

Regulus’s sneer turned into a look of disgust at the sniveling laugh that came from the other bloke as he held his hands up in surrender. So much for Gryffindors being so bloody brave. Regulus was close to hexing him right then and there, show him to stand up for himself if he was going to start strolling around the Lestranges like he belonged there, but the older boy’s next words gave him pause. They know I’m here. Regulus’s eyes narrowed, his grip tightening on his wand as he took a step forward at the same time Pettigrew shrank back from him. The fucking hell was that supposed mean? And if he was supposed to be here then why the hell was he acting like he’d been caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to? Because he wasn’t supposed to be here, Regulus realized as Pettigrew continued. Reporting what was happening with the Order. 

The Spy.

Regulus had heard the Dark Lord allude to such a thing, had only just heard about the attack on the headquarters – but never had it crossed his mind that the spy might be any of the idiot brigade. Not after all the birth defect’s talk of brotherhood and trust. And even if it was one of the birth defect’s best friends club, there was no way it was Pettigrew. Not a chance. “You really expect me to believe that?” Regulus spat out at him, taking another step forward. “You of all people turning on the fucking best friends club? No one else would want you.“ His eyes flashed darkly before he continued, “But if you’re supposed to be here then you’ll have no problem coming with me to see Bellatrix, will you?” Again his lips curled into a sneer. As much as he wanted to be the one to take care of this prick, probably here spying for the Order and completely failing, the thought of taking Pettigrew to his cousin – of seeing the look on his face when he did – was too great to resist.

[abadrat]

The younger bloke’s words bothered him. ‘No one else would want you.’ Showed what the little brat knew. Voldemort wanted him, needed him, because he was valuable. Unlike some people who were only around because their older cousin was up the Dark Lord’s arse. Things he might have said if the brat wasn’t still point his wand at him. Self-preservation was still utmost on his mind. “I’m not turning on my friends. I’m protecting them.” He had a deal, they’d be safe, all of them. And they’d understand. Prongs and Moony would and they’d make Padfoot understand. He was a hero, they’d all see. Unless he didn’t find a way to talk himself out of this. None of what he knew of the younger bloke would suggest he was a psychopathic murderer like his cousin. But he was trying to prove himself and Peter knew how dangerous someone doing that could be. Which was why his words though defiant were not said with any fight. Maybe the little one would be like his brother in one aspect and not be into an easy fight. Sirius always liked it best when people fought back and Peter had always been the roll over and play dead type.

Or he’d drag Peter back into the house like a cat bringing in a rat. Peter assumed Bellatrix would greet them both as though that was indeed the case. He should have known little Regulus Black couldn’t do anything on his own. Always needed someone’s approval, Padfoot complained about that enough for Peter to come to that conclusion immediately. While the crazy bird gave him the creeps she’d at least know not to kill him. Maybe the little brat would get yelled at for brining him back in, that would almost make it worth it. With those thoughts in mind, and still trying to avoid death, he shrugged his shoulders. “If you insist,” he said, his tone defeated. “I don’t believe Madam Lestrange will be happy to see me back so soon. But I’m sure she’ll understand your fear that her home isn’t protected against intruders. You’re family, she’s probably more understanding with you.”

[markedregulus]

Going to his cousin’s house had always left Regulus with a knot of dread forming in the pit of his stomach, but these days it was worse. Gone were the days he could hide away in the yard or the library and claim he had schoolwork to do, gone were the days he could get away with very limited interactions with his oldest cousin. Now, he was part of the chaos. Now, he was part of the darkness that seemed to have seeped into the very foundation of the house. It had been the right choice, he reminded himself. This would make him better. This would make him stronger. But he didn’t feel particularly great or strong as he made his way into the house at Bellatrix’s summons. He’d heard about the attack on the Order’s headquarters, heard that they had a spy on the inside, and there was a small part of him that was worried she was going to give him the news he wasn’t ready to hear. Except – it would be better, maybe, to hear about Sirius’s death this way. Better to hear about it happening someplace outside of his control, where he wouldn’t have to witness it. Where he wouldn’t have to participate.

Speaking of the birth defect, though, bloody hell Regulus needed to get it together, because for a split second he thought the bloke leaving the house was one of the defect’s idiot friends. That was stupid, though, they were all so bloody full of – Regulus’s eyes narrowed as the bloke got closer, his entire body tensing as he froze in place. It was him. Pettigrew. The most useless of the birth defect’s idiot brigade – and he was leaving the Lestrange’s. Instantly Regulus gripped his wand, pulling it from his sleeve and pointing it at the arsehole. How the bloody hell he could have gotten past the gates not even registering in his mind as he thought about how this was one person he would very much enjoy taking care of. “The bloody hell do you think you’re doing here?” He spat at the older boy. “Get lost on your way to – “ Regulus paused, feigning confusion for a split second before he sneered at the other bloke and continued, “Oh, that’s right, you don’t have a headquarters anymore, do you? Pretty soon you’re not gonna have a heartbeat, either.” He threatened, taking a step forward. If Regulus didn’t kill him, someone else surely would, and he couldn’t wait to see it happen.

[abadrat]

Peter continued to eye the other bloke cautiously as he continued walking. Chanting in his head for the younger one to keep on walking. Just like at Hogwarts. It was to much to hope. Fucking hell. Bloody Blacks. Of course that little brat couldn’t just walk on past. Give him a dirty look and go running off to tell that crazy bird Bellatrix he was there. No he had to act all big and bad now that he had that bloody mark. A mark Peter was thankful not to have. Even if it could have come in handy right then. Peter carefully put his hands up in a non-threatening manner. Slipping into the meek, can’t defend himself mode was easy. Especially since he didn’t trust the kid in front of him not to get all wand happy and kill him trying to prove he deserved that mark. As if being branded was something to earn. It wasn’t cowardly to not want to die. Peter faked laughter and didn’t hide the fact that he was scared. “Good one! Witty.” Those Blacks always quick with the fucking wit. “I…I was just leaving. The…They know I was here.” He stumbled over his words and shrunk back a little from Regulus. Peter had no pride when his life was on the line. Prongs thought how you died mattered but he knew it was staying alive that mattered. It didn’t matter how you died, you were dead, there was nothing left. “I was reporting in about what’s happening with the Order now after the attack. Wh- what they’re doing.” Peter figured Black knew there was a spy since he knew about Order Headquarters. Besides it wasn’t like anyone was going to be talking to Regulus any time soon. And if they did who would they believe this little brat who is under his mother’s thumb or him. Though Peter might have to make sure they didn’t believe him. He’d worry about how once he got out of this situation.

[abadrat]

They knew! They knew there was a traitor. When Padfoot told him it had sent a chill down his spine. Peter didn’t want to die but he sure as hell didn’t want to go to Azkaban. It wasn’t fair. He was doing this for them, for all of them. All Sirius’ talk about what a coward the traitor was…Peter wasn’t a coward. There was nothing wrong with not wanting to die, with wanting to save yourself and your friends. This wasn’t his fault, none of the deaths were his fault. It was Dumbledore’s fault. That old fool had sent them out to fight a war that hadn’t needed to happen. If he’d just minded his own damn business and ran Hogwarts like he was supposed to none of this would have happened. There would have been no war. Dumbledore was the one that turned it into a war. Turning it into a pureblood verses everyone else issue. But it wasn’t. The Dark Lord was right, the Statue of Secrecy held them all back. Without it everyone would be better off and if that meant muggles answered to wizards that didn’t seem like such a bad thing to Peter. They had magic, why shouldn’t they be in charge.

Dumbledore had done this. But Peter couldn’t tell his brothers that. They were too brainwashed by Dumbledore. Prongs just cared about being a hero, looking good in Evan’s eyes, too steeped in his own prejudice against Slytherin to see that Dumbledore was wrong. Padfoot was too blinded by his own hatred of his family and by his devotion to James to see it. And Remus was a sheep, following along the other two out of loyalty to his only friends. Out of all of them Moony should have been able to see, Dumbledore backed a system that made him less than human. But no, none of them could see it. He only was the smart one, the one looking out for their futures. It wasn’t fair, but they’d see it once this was all over, once the Dark Lord won and they were all spared they’d see what Peter had done for them all. See that he wasn’t a coward. There was nothing cowardly about wanting to live when your life was just getting started. It was smart. Betraying Dumbledore was the smart move.

Except it didn’t feel like it when talk of a traitor was happening. As soon as he could he scurried off to see the Dark Lord. Peter was afraid, he was going to be exposed as the traitor. The Dark Lord had to do something. Only he wasn’t going to. Peter had to. The Dark Lord wasn’t ready to lose his inside source yet. He had to save his own skin. Peter had covered his tracks, had let the blokes think the idea to go someplace the day of the attack had been theirs. Wormtail following along with the plan as usual. But that wasn’t enough now. Now he was going to have to make Sirius suspect someone so he didn’t suspect him. There were only two people Sirius wouldn’t turn in right away, Prongs and Moony. He’d get Sirius to think it was Remus, this would work, it had to work. When this was all over they’d all make up, it’d be fine. Peter was nearly smiling at the genius of his plan till he saw someone coming in the gates. For a moment there was panic because there was no place for him to hide but then he saw who it was. Regulus, Padfoot’s little Death Eater brother. He eyed the other bloke trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for him being there. Maybe he wouldn’t ask, maybe he’d just walk past him like at Hogwarts.

[gideonprewett]