“Recovery begins with honesty. And honesty begins with so much more. Honesty begins with crying while admitting to yourself all of the things you’ve been avoiding. You’re meeting fears whose faces you don’t recognize. You’re recognizing your own face after having lost sight of it. It’s crying above your covers, instead of under them, and appreciating the moment it stops when the tears don’t seem all that bad and you realize this is all just one big, giant lesson, something meant to happen in order for the best to fall together. There are times of thinking and processing, trying to untangle your thoughts in a way that is healthy, even if it all hurts. The hurt is natural, and it sucks but it’s also better than the stairs of self-destruction you’ve fallen down time and time again. You’ll get there even if you don’t know where you’re going. It’s a desire to prove yourself; for yourself and for all the ones you’ve loved. It is painted with apologies to yourself and those you’ve hurt. You’ve hurt yourself intentionally, the pain you brought yourself was overkill. You’ve hurt the ones you love without intending to, maybe never even considering just how much they were hurting while witnessing all of it. Now becomes the time to pick yourself up, acknowledge your wounds as just another part of you that will heal, and take it one stair at a time. Even if you’re stuck on the first step, or the seventh, or the twenty-second, the number of stairs is infinite and progress is progress even in minimality. You’ll get there even if you don’t know where you’re going.“”
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