CHAPPELL ROAN + BRANDI CARLILE â at the Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party Red Carpet, March 2, 2025
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CHAPPELL ROAN + BRANDI CARLILE â at the Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing Party Red Carpet, March 2, 2025
PATRICK SWAYZE as Vida Boheme in To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
Agreed. Teen me was in love with this movie and scared to watch it around my dad.
I think it was really important that there was a variety of characters. I didnât have modern terms for it but even as a sheltered teen I understood that Noxeema was having fun playing dressup and Vida was a Lady-with-an-adamsapple and neither of them deserved the hate they received for being who they are.
Some of Brandi Carlileâs gayest* performances, as determined by me
*note: every performance is gay because she is gay. These are just some highlights.
âââ
Paraphrasing, âI sang âI Will Always Love Youâ to Dolly, romanticallyâ
A series of Brandi singing gays songs she wrote about her wife, Catherine, to/with her
Gay songs she covers with Catherine (extra gay points for the Indigo Girls and Tracy Chapman of it all, extra bonus for the opening for Joni Mitchell):
You know that feeling when you were a gay mess in the 00âs and sing your penance via a Robyn cover?
Lesbian âShe Used to Be Mine,â no further comment necessary
Thereâs something so gay about Brandi singing the straightest song of all time
âIf She Ever Leaves Meâ her gay Western song
This, which is gay in ways too unfathomable and deep to explain, via farmer_doug1 on instagram
Other highlights: literally everything, sheâs so gay that a rainbow ended at the stage a few weeks ago when she sang The Story while opening for Pink
Brandi Carlile | 7.9.23 | Levitate Music Festival | Marshfield, MA
Small Town Grocery Store Stories: LGBTQ+ friendly edition
Me: minding my own damn business in the grocery store
One of my students and a few of his teammates enter the dairy aisle.Â
My student is holding hands with one of his teammates.Â
My student: Oh hey, Professor X!
Me, who has both my student and his girlfriend in my class: âŚHello
My student, looking at his hand-holding partner: Oh! Donât worry. My girlfriend knows. Not that Iâm cheating! Iâm not cheating. Iâm not gay.
Hand Holding boy: Not that being gay is a bad thing! Itâs a good thing!
My student: Right! But no, listen. We arenât together, we just hold hands in public sometimes.
Hand Holding Boy: Especially on Friday nights. And weekends. And at away games.
My student: Because sometimes people will say shit and then we can punch them! And if the fight started because someone was being homophobic, coach wonât get mad at us.
Hand Holding Boy: Always nice to punch a homophobe. And [gesturing to another boy in the group]Â maybe theyâll think twice about saying something to [other boyâs name]Â if he ever gets a boyfriend and wants to hold his hand for real. The Gay One, resigned but smiling: Iâve decided itâs sweet and not really fucking weird.
This is what âboys will be boysâ is meant to be
This is the best thing Iâve seen in a while.
NEVER HAVE I EVER | 2.09 ââŚstalked my own motherâ
NEVER HAVE I EVER 4.01 - ⌠lost my virginity
Tig Notaro on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
THE MARVELS 2023 | dir. Nia DaCosta
Kamala Khan meets Nick Fury
THE MARVELS (2023)
#The most relatable avenger (if she gets in)
THE MARVELS (2023) dir. Nia DaCosta
Kamala Khan, Monica Rambeau, and Carol Danvers ⨠THE MARVELS (2023) dir. Nia DaCosta
BARBIE (2023)
some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as âif carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked upâ they could at least make an effort
Every McDonaldâs commercial ends the same way, right? âPrices and participation may vary.â I wanna open a McDonaldâs and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonaldâs owner. Iâll say âCheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.â
Every book is a childrenâs book if the kid can read.
I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckinâ complicated payment. We canât tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!
Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, Iâll be⌠fuckinâ surprised.
This shirt is âdry-clean onlyâ⌠Which means itâs dirty.
One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said âHereâs a picture of me when I was younger.â Every picture is of you when you were younger. âHereâs a picture of me when Iâm older.â âYou son-of-a-bitch! Howâd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera⌠Whatâs it look like? â
An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an âEscalator Temporarily Out Of Orderâ sign, just âEscalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
I play golf. Iâm not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And thatâs way more satisfying. Youâre supposed to yell âFore!â but I was too busying mumbling âThere ainât no way thatâs gonna hit him.â
When youâre in Hollywood and youâre a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say âAll right youâre a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.â They want me to do things thatâs related to comedy, but itâs not comedy. Thatâs not fair. Itâs as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said âAll right youâre a cook⌠can you farm?â
- âRice is great when youâre youâre hungry and you want 10,000 of somethingâ
- âTennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wallâ
- âI order the club sandwich all the time, but Iâm not even a member, man. I donât know how I get away with itâ
- âI used to think I could control ducks with my mind. But it turns out ducks and I just have really similar ideas about what ducks should do.â
- âI used to do a lot of drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.â
âI donât have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who would be really mad if she heard me say that.â
- âI wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then Iâm gonna stick pins in all the locations that Iâve traveled to. But first Iâm gonna have to travel to the top two corners so it doesnât fall down.â
Mitch Hedberg was one of the funniest dudes alive.