Jolteon. @abjolteon - Tumblr Blog

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Good Vibes HERE

Good Vibes HERE

Feilen med våre stjerner.

Når du leser dette, du vet hvem du er, så vil jeg at du skal tenke på oss, akkurat som jeg gjør nå. Jeg vet jeg ikke er.. frisk. Jeg vet jeg ikke er god nok som jeg er nå.

Men jeg vil be deg om en tjeneste, ikke en stor en. men en tjeneste uansett.

Om du har lest dette - så, bra.

Jeg vil ikke at du skal nevne det til meg - jeg har det bra. Jeg kommer til å være på ett veldig viktig sted for deg, Mandag klokken fem. Derfra har du utsikt over hele Drammen, og jeg håper du vet hvor jeg mener. Jeg vil at du skal møte meg der, Tirsdag 19/08-2014.

Du kommer ikke til å få vite dette av meg over face, ansikt til ansikt eller på noen annen måte. Jeg kommer kanskje til å hinte om dette om du ikke har forstått det før Mandag morgen. Men jeg kommer ikke til å si det.

Jeg elsker deg, og jeg ber deg ikke bli sammen med meg nå - det kommer jeg ikke til å gjøre heller. Jeg vil bare snakke med deg, vise deg noe og snakke med deg.

Jeg håper så inderlig at du ser dette og velger å komme.

- Cheesy

#vær så snill #Jeg elsker deg. Alltid

Jeg vet ikke lenger.

Jeg vet ikke lenger hva jeg tenker, føler, angrer på eller noe. Jeg vet ingen ting og det dreper meg. Jeg dreper meg.

God natt, min vesle verden. God natt.

Acceptance.

To start off with - YES, I cheated with my ex via internet (skype, snapchat, etc.) and I know that was wrong of me. I did a lot of shit that wasn't all good. But then, after some time I actually realised how wrong it was, and from that date I've NEVER done anything like it. No pics, cam's, nothing.

And the fact that a person who used to mean so much to me talks down to me, and tears me apart telling me how she *KNOWS* that I've done those things, that I've sexually harassed her friends?! Well, that hurts. It hurts real fucking bad.

Because I haven't. I've done none of those things, not even near it.

So go fuck your self, and take your friends with you. I loved you once, you know, longer than you would think.

I'm a fucked up wreck.

I've recently broken up with my girlfriend of almost two years, 3-4weeks ago to be more exact. And I stand by that call, it was the right thing to do, but physically and not to mention mentally it's been a journey I never want to travel again. I've felt so alone, desperate, and I've been crying. Alot.

I don't really know who my friends are anymore, not because I don't have them - but because everyone thinks I'm OK. Even those I've told that I'm not. It's expected of me to be ok, by everyone.

My ex has now moved on, and I'm glad on her behalf with her new crush. I broke up, it had to happend, and I was prepared - and even though it stings, I'll be fine.

But something that's going under my skin, however, is this girl I met when I still went to school. At a party I was hosting she showed up after I at first said that i didn't want them there - because there would be drama and I didn't want that - but she talked me into letting them come.

As the night went on, everyone except me (and my siblings who where home) was shitfaced drunk, people puked and I ended up putting those I could to sleep. But before this however, the girl I'm talking about grabbed me for then to make out with me, and said I was welcome up to her place if I wanted.

When everyone then was situated at my place, I walked for 30mins to get to her - and after a while she came and opened the door. I asked where I should lay down, she said 'With me of course' - and so I did.

She started casually grinding her ass against my groin (Note that we both had nothing else on than panties/boxers) - and of course I got an erection. She continued to tease me, and I started to touch her tits, whispering some stuff into her ear - and we made out some more. I asked her if she wanted to fuck, straight out, and she said ' Naaah.. I don't know..' - I took off my boxers and asked 'What about now?'

She grinded me a little bit, before she said no, clearly - and I respected that. I pulled up my boxers, and said goodnight, as I went into another room to sleep.

Dear readers, keep in mind this is my side of the story - there might be SOME alterations. But here's the essentials that are true - We did never have sex. She said no, I stopped. And after an hour - I walked home again.

After this, word spread that I had raped her. Rape, let that sink in for a while.

This made a huge situation on my school, people I thought were my friends turned against me, because of her words. And it wasn't even true, it was just a stupid rumour.

But my ex stood up for me and defended me when I didn't want to fight back - and it eventually calmed down.

So why is this bothering me now, you might ask?

Well, turns out that this girl is still thinking about going to the police and tell them I raped her. She's a tiny woman when it comes to size. Secondly, she's a woman. And this scares me, because I only just managed to get out of this the last time without permanent scars.

I am trying to start my life, build a foundation of friends and get a place to work as well as get my drivers lisence. Things are FINALLY looking bright for me again. But this? This... monster, she can ruin my life.

I just wanted to get this out there, because I really don't know what do do, say or to whom I should speak. I need my friends now more than ever, I just wish they could see it...

Thanks, - Jolteon

#feminism #can #go #fuck #it #self #right #in #the #pussy #im #scared #and #scarred

words-of-emotion

Words of Emotion

words-of-emotion

Words of Emotion

What the fuck have I done?

What's wrong with me?..

Jojo.

I love you Do you tell other people they’re better than me, and that you’d rather have them because you love me?

I want you Do you go cheat and have fun with everyone else except me, because you want me?

I need you Do you go to everyone else first with anything you think or do, because you need me?

I truly, utterly do Do you truly, utterly think that someone, after years, will stand up and be the same and love him or herself after all this, ever again? Do you “truly, utterly” believe that

I've done my fair bit of wrong decisions, and I've wronged the only person I've ever wanted to right by - over and over again.

But yes. Yes i do, to the first of every colon. I've lied to alot of people, and I try to stop. I try to be better. I believe that I can change. I believe that I can, one day, look my self in the mirror and be proud of the person I see, not ashamed.

One thing I am, more than anything else though - is sorry. Sorry for every girl, every hurtfull lie, and every way, shape or form that I've hurt yo.

You are the one person that I'd never want to lose and now I've don just that - lose you, by the actions and choises I've don and taken.

I love you, and I hope that you'll see the guy that I really am one day. And I hope that I will get a 100th chance with you, and make it my last.

But I know I don't desserve it, neither do I desserve you. Not now,

I'm sorry.

Waiting. Just waiting. Waiting sucks. Waiting hurts. Still waiting.