Now that I'm an adult I'm faced with adult decisions. Long gone are the days when I could rely on someone else to provide me with the answers, because now I am 20 years old and I should be wise enough to know the repercussions of my actions. Now, I am not an impulsive person (maybe a little when it comes to shopping), so I would like to think that when it comes to important decisions I am wise enough to take my time and weigh up the pros and cons of the situation. But when it comes to matters of the future, can anyone proudly stand behind their choices because they know for sure that it was the best one, and that their option B was better as second place?
When I was younger I used to look up to my parents and to adults in general, wearing fancy suits to match their fancy jobs, and I would think they somehow had all the answers. That once they reached a particular age, a magical God passed on some magical book that made everything in life make sense. I like to think that’s how Harry felt when his letter from Hogwarts arrived, and he could have his ‘uh-huh’ moment. But as I’ve got older, and unfortunately as my letter from Dumbledore got lost in the mail, I began to realise that everyone in life, no matter if you’re 20 or 85, was just that - lost, and basically making up the rules as they go. This made me feel a little better about myself and my future, that it was okay that I didn’t have all the answers and that life just goes on.
But, that was until I had to make a very important decision, one that would ultimately determine the next couple of years of my life if not my life entirely. I’m sure that any university student out there knows the struggles of a bank account under $100. Studying is time-consuming and if you’re like me and decided to major in design, then you’ll know all too well that the concept of sleep is non-existent as you rush to reach deadlines.
At the end of the day, we are still human and need food and water to you know, survive and because money doesn’t fall from trees, you’ll need a part-time/casual job. This will take up a few hours of your day, and by the time you come home in the evening you’re knackered and just want to lie in bed and watch Netflix with a cup of tea (or wine). Oh and don’t forget interning. For a design student this is the be all and end all of your degree. If you don’t intern, you basically graduate with nothing, because no one really cares about your grades and what you know about the industrial revolution and how it impacted art. People want to know who you know, and what actual experience you’ve had, so that if they hire you you won’t be a complete waist of time and money. University is chaotic.
So here’s my dilemma, and one that has made my life over the last couple of weeks a complete mess. Do I spend my precious two days off from uni/work a week, to intern and gain valuable work experience, where I'll meet new people and increase my contacts of people who could ultimately lead me to future job opportunities? Or, do I go on exchange and study abroad for a semester, preferably somewhere in the UK, surrounded by different people with different experiences and dreams in a different environment, and ultimately discover who I am as a person and what I want in life? Both offer personal growth and career opportunities, but one involves more money - $15,000 in fact.
Exchange is expensive. I would have to quit my days interning so that those free days that I am not at university I can be working and attempting to save enough dollars to support myself for six months. As this will be the last chance for me to go on exchange before my honours year, and as the closing date for our applications creeps into our calendars, I am forced to make up my mind and choose.
As I am writing this, I have made my decision and I think there’s a lot more you need to know about me to understand why I made the choice I did. But I'm curious to know if any of you have experienced something like this. That moment when you’re at a cross road, and both roads may look exactly the same - bright, exciting and new, but will lead you into two completely different futures. I hate not knowing and I hate the idea of living in regret, and while I would love to be able to do both - to intern and take part in the exchange program, this is that ‘adult decisions’ dilemma I am beginning to realise that as I get older I will face, and probably will face more of. But, you can’t always have everything and sometimes you have to make choices with no guarantee that it was the right one, and that my friends, is life.
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