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HOW TO BE HAPPY: A Brief Guide for Citizens [Part 4 of 4]

( Ahhhh, sorry this is so late ! I’ve been working on making other things for the WHF community and got a bit distracted. But here is the final part of the book ! Hope it’s helpful to you all ! )

    HAPPINESS HELPERS : THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE

The Executive Committee is in charge of both public welfare and public happiness. There is almost no end to their good works:

- Ensuring a stable food supply - Redacting newspapers so we don’t inadvertently see unpleasantenss - Funding Joy research - Encouraging Technological Innovations - Establishing new holidays - Training doctors and furthering medical research - Building new playgrounds - Verifying the prize results of Simon Says - and more!

                                     WHO’S IN CHARGE?

 ( Hi so this one is kinda hard to transcribe bc it’s a flowchart, but it was worth putting in just for reference, so I’ll do my best! )

- Chief Constable - Victoria Byng ( Reaction ) - Motilene Ministery  - Harry Haworth ( Haworth Labs ) - Johnny Bolton ( Minister of Intelligence ) - Playground Committee  - Davey Hackney ( Clayton Centre Curator ) - General Byng ( Military Camp ) - Harold Ridgewell ( Medical School Director ) - Ministry of Paperwork ( Position Open )

                   EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE APPOINTS                FATHER McKENZIE TO ORGANIZE FUN

Still can’t figure out how to amuse yourself in Wellington Wells? Never fear! The Executive Committee has appointed Father McKenzie to be the new Village Activities Coordinator.

“He has such a knack for getting people to try things that they wouldn’t otherwise,” says Executive Committee member Victoria Byng. “If you’re feeling glum, Father McKenzie can surely find a way to relieve you of your troubles.”

             WELLINGTON WELLS STATUTORY HOLIDAYS.

Victory Day ——- FIRST TUESDAY OF EVERY MONTH Twelfth Night ——- JANUARY Joy Anniversary ——- FEBRUARY Ides of March ( Marching band parade ) ——- MARCH May Day ( Summerisle Picnic and Weenie Roast ) ——- MAY Midsummer ——- JUNE Apple Holm Medieval Fair ——- [CANCELLED] Samhain ——- OCTOBER Poppy Day ——- NOVEMBER Servant’s Ball (Parade District only) ——- DECEMBER Yule ——- DECEMBER

NOTE: Medieval Day has been cancelled due to repeated injuries from unauthorized jousting. The Lady of the Lake Beauty Pageant will be rescheduled. To make up for the lost holiday, all Wellie workers are now invited to take off their birthday!

                                    HOME IMPROVEMENT.

Decorating one’s home creates a happy environment! There’s no need to live in 19th century dreariness when bright, modern furnishings are cheap and readily available.

How do you get the latest look? Tastemakers at the Design Centre suggest mixing patterns when possible - stripes, polka dots, florals, you name it. That way you always have something fun to look at it. And by the way, colours don’t actually clash - that’s just a myth. So mix and match however you want!

Pair bright, colourful patterns with streamlined furniture and voila - your own pad can be as stylish as any in the Parade!

                                          ENTERTAINING!

We Wellies are quite sociable and always have a warm welcome for impromptu guests. To entertain unexpected visitors, where are a few easy-peasy party ideas.

MAD HATTER’S TEA PARTY.        Simply brew a spot of tea and ask your friends to wear their favorite party hats! If they haven’t brought a hats, lampshades and tea canisters will do in a pinch.

WELLINGTON DAY.        Any day can be Wellington Day! Celebrate our namesake admiral with a navy-themed fete featuring Pin-the-tail-on-Napoleon and jaunty sing-along of ‘H.M.S. Pinafore’!

PARTY GAMES.        Amuse your guests by playing King Across the Water (tug-of-war, or perhaps a game of Sardines - though do be sure you haven’t taken so much Joy that you forget you have guests hiding in the closets!

MASQUERADE BALLS.       Easy to arrange on the spur of the moment, as everybody smart is already wearing a mask! ( If, however, you have dull friends who have not yet adopted this new trend, you can make your own masks. )

                                            TV LISTINGS.

If all else fails to amuse, just tune into The Uncle Jack Show! He’s always on, except when good citizens should be in bed!

8 AM............Wake Up With Jack! ( Jumping Jacks and Calisthenics ) 9 AM............Good News Hour 10 AM............The Daily Business Report, Featuring Bloopers 11 AM............Advice to the Lovelorn, Sponsored by Joy NOON............That Tastes Delicious - What Is It? 1 PM............Famous British Victories 2 PM............Silly Things the French Do 3 PM............”Simon Says” Recap and Prize Ceremony 4 PM............Teatime Mystery Hour 5 PM............Know Your English Pottery! 6 PM............Around The World With Jack ( Charming Foreign Customs ) 7 PM............Henges and Hedgerows: Historic English Landscapes 8 PM............Jack About-Town 9 PM............Good News Evening Edition 10 PM............Go to Bed With Jack! ( Bedtime Stories ) 11 PM............Sign Off

                                   PLAY SIMON SAYS!

Nothing brings more delight than a rousing game of Simon Says! But did you know you can play Simon Says all by yourself? Simply follow the instructions below!

Simon Says: PUT ON YOUR HAPPY MASK!

Simon Says: SPIN AROUND IN A CIRCLE!

Simon Says: PLAY PATTY-CAKE WITH YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR!

Make a frowny face. AHH! I DIDN’T SAY SIMON SAYS!

Simon Says: POP A JOY!

There. Now you feel much better, don’t you? Of course you do!

         THERE! DON’T YOU FEEL HAPPIER ALREADY?                                   OF COURSE YOU DO!

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We Happy Few Scenery: I Yam What I Yam, pt 1/2 ( pt 005/? )

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We Happy Few Scenery: The Poisoned Pond ( pt 004/? )

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We Happy Few Scenery: Johnny Bolton’s Tree House ( pt 003/? )

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We Happy Few Scenery: The Apple Tree, pt 2/2 ( pt 002/? )

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We Happy Few Scenery: The Apple Tree, pt 1/2 ( pt 001/? )

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HOW TO BE HAPPY: A Brief Guide for Citizens [Part 3 of 4]

( So sorry for the late entry, lost track of time last night! But now on to the highly anticipated third installment! Once I’m finished with How To Be Happy, I have a few other projects in mind, so I hope you follow along! )

                HAPPINESS HELPERS: HAWORTH LABS.

Haworth Labs is the nerve center of Wellington Wells - Literally !

A crack scientific team lead by Harry Haworth is hard at work finding new ways to make us delightfully giddy. Whilst Haworth believes the shape of one’s head determines one’s level of happiness. Haworth’s Assistant Deputy for Research - Anton Verloc - is convinced that happiness is a chemical process. Verloc is assisted in his research by Miss Sally Boyle, Assistant to the Assistant Deputy for Research.

Which theory is correct? Does it matter as long as we still get our Joy?

                 NEW FLAVOURS OF JOY PLANNED.

We Wellies crave variety, even with something as wonderful as Joy. That’s why Haworth Labs plans to produce their popular pill in several new flavours!

RAINBOW ——-       A full-bodied bouquet of aromas, reminiscent of a meadow after a warm rain. Suitable for all ages.

STRAWBERRY ——-      Has the fruity aroma of fresh strawberries, with a slight tang on the tongue. Great for fruit-lovers and melancholics.

BLACKBERRY ——-       A special formula in the development for constables and members of the Executive Committee, Blackberry Joy will take the edge off unhappiness whilst allowing our public officials to keep a clear head.

COCONUT ——-       To the surprise of many, coconuts are not native to Britain. However, Haworth Labs is hoping to create a synthetic version of this tropical treat. Ideal for those Wellies who are nostalgic for the hotter climes of the Empire.

TEA ——-      Haworth Labs had unexpected difficulty creating a tea-flavored Joy pill. Happily, the Executive Committee had the brilliant solution to put Joy in the municipal water supply. That way, whenever you brew a pot of tea, you can enjoy both the medicinal effects of Joy as well a hot beverage.

                           HOW TO SPOT A DOWNER.

Not everyone remembers to take his or her Joy. If you see one of these “Downers,” do be so kind as to get them to a Joy dispenser or alert the proper authorities.

You might ask: How can I tell if a fellow citizen is a Downer? Here is a helpful chart:

PROPER CITIZEN - Smiling - Large Pupils - Adores Simon Says - Tears of joy (Laughing) - Skipping rope

DOWNER - Glum - Small pupils (”beady eyed”) - Believes Simon Says is pointless - Just tears (Not laughing) - Hanging from rope

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HOW TO BE HAPPY: A Brief Guide for Citizens [Part 2 of 4]

( Since there was such a positive response to the first part, I’ve gained a second wind and am here to provide part two! I did find a typo in the handbook, but I left it in the transcript as to preserve it as is. )

       CULTURAL ACTIVITIES IN WELLINGTON WELLS                         THAT ARE SURE TO DELIGHT

What can you do for diversion in Wellington Wells? Why, just stop outside your door, and you’re sure to find some fun.

MARIONETTE THEATRE.      The Simon Says Society mounts occasional marionette shows on the Rorke’s Drift Bridge. These shows began in the 1940s with the amateur performers Sholl & Danlip, though our town’s marionette tradition apparently dates back to the Tudor era.

OUTDOOR CONCERTS.      Enjoy the musical stylings of the Tunnel Rats Octet every week in Mrs. Chippy Park. Admission is free, although gratuities are appreciated. Pop star Nick Lightbearer also performs regularly, though locations are kept secret until the day of the event, to prevent throngs of lady fans from swarming the venue.

ARCHAEOLOGICAL MUSEUM ( GARDEN DISTRICT ).      As previously noted, people have been enjoying life in Wellington Wells for centuries. Normally archaeologists must painstakingly dig for evidence of these past eras, however the recent bombing in the Garden District has fortuitously created craters in which one can see multiple layers of history without any effort.

JOURNALISM APPRECIATION DAY.      We Wellies love our newspaper, The “O” Courant. Every spring we celebrate this journalistic treasure by folding it into paper hats and into paper boats that we sail down the river.

FINE DINING.      Wellington Wells is currently enjoying a culinary boom. Our victory gardens overflow with delicious produce, and trade from across the river is brisk. As a result, new see-and-be-seen hotspots seem to open every week. There’s no need to settle for good old beans-on-toast anymore - though, of course, we do still love our B-on-T.

SPORTING FUN!     Wellington Wells has a number of sporting events - such as cricket, croquet, lawn tennis, and fencing - that villagers can watch or participate in. Whilst Wellington Wells no longer plays teams from other villages, we still enjoy our rousing Croquet Team Fight Song.

                                        JOIN THE CLUB!

Still looking for something to do? Wellington Wells has a variety of clubs you can join.

THE ROSE SOCIETY.       The Rose Society is a gardening club. It does not currently have any actual garden, but plans are afoot for a lovely botanical park once co-presidents Clive Birtwhistle and Harry Plantagenet can agree on whether to grow white roses or red roses. If you would like to join the Rose Society, please submit your genealogy (ideally 10 generations or more) to either Harry or Clive.

THE JACOBEAN SOCIETY.       Do you adore Uncle Jack? Do you like wearing jaunty red hats? Of course you do! Why not get together with your follow Jacobeans for trivia nights, lectures, and watching the telly? Club suppers feature the latest Uncle Jack recipes from “That Tastes Delicious - What Is It?” Join the fun!

THE REFORM SOCIETY.      Do you wish to better your fellow man? Perhaps you wish to be improved yourself, but need to guiding hand. Madame Wanda’s new Reform Club is for you! An invitation from a current member is mandatory, but rubber suits are optional.

NICK LIGHTBEARER FAN CLUB.      Our local pop star’s fans get together every week to both write and answer fan mail. “It makes sense to keep the letters all in one place, to save on postage,” says club president Penelope Snug. Membership is open to any attractive female who has not yet been married to Nick.

THE GEOGRAPHICAL SOCIETY.       Wellington Wells is an area of surprising seismic activity. If you sometimes feel that locations are not where you thought they were, it’s not your imagination. Things really do move around! The Geographical Society keeps track of all our to-ing and fro-ing, in addition to sponsoring Treasure Hunt Tuesdays.

THE SIMON SAYS CLUB.      We Wellies love to do as we’re told! The Simon Says Club ( formerly the Foreign Visitor Welcome Committee ) hosts daily games in Mrs. Chippy Park. The games are free, all are welcome!

                WELLINGTON WELLS WALKING TOURS 

If you are looking for amusement out of doors, Eric “Crazy Legs” Liddel conducts walking tours of the Village, “Because many citizens have a tendency to get lost on their own.” Why not tag along and see the sights? Do try to keep up with him though, as his pace is brisk!

THE GARDEN DISTRICT.       Once the pride of Wellington Wells, the Garden District has recently fallen into a bit of disrepair, but will soon be restored to its former glory. Plans are afoot for a lovely conservatory to rival the crystal palace at Kew Gardens, as well as for tennis courts and cricket grounds. Meanwhile, the district has an abundance of Victory Gardens. Clearly no one could ever go hungry in such a locale!

THE VILLAGE.        Hamlyn Village is the one of the most scenic in England, and is especially renowned for its lack of rats. One of the most delightful spots is Mrs. Chippy Park. Do make use of the playground equipment there! As Uncle Jack says, “If we don’t use it, who on earth will?”

WEDNESDAY HILL GHOST WALK ( SEASONAL ).        Of course ghosts don’t really exist, but isn’t it awfully fun to pretend they do? Some of your fellow Wellies enjoy dressing up as ghosts and jumping out to say Boo! When they ask for your immortal soul, you’re supposed to ask them for sweets in return. It’s all part of the game!

THE PARADE.      The Parade is where the posh and powerful mingle. Many government offices are headquartered here. The Parade also host monthly festivals that are open to the public ( though you are advised to “dress to impress.” )

PARADE DISTRICT CALENDAR OF EVENTS.      The Parade District hosts a brisk schedule of events that are sure to delight! The island is easily accessible, and events are open to all.

January ——- New Year’s Pajama Parade February ——- Minor Royalty Coronations March ——- Kilts Parade and Scottish Dancing April ——- Old Possum’s Cat Costume Competition May ——- May Pole and Summerisle Weenie Roast June ——- Gemini Twins Parade** July ——- Lawn Tennis Championships August ——- Uncle Jack Lookalike Parade September ——- Scone Festival October ——- Jack-O-Lantern Parade November ——- Baker Street Mystery Theatre ( in the round ) December ——- Sit on Santa Jack’s Lap!

** Alas, Wellington Wells only has one pair of twins and one of them has recently passed on, but Janice Smith-Smythe does so enjoy her big day. Please come and cheer her on!

                             FASHION IS IN FASHION!

When you look good, you feel good! The posh parade pohh-bahs are hard at work to help you look your best!

CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN. INDEED, NAKED PEOPLE HAVE ALMSOT NO INFLUENCE ON SOCIETY! - UNCLE JACK.

SO MOD!       Want to know the latest fashion, kittens? You could people-watch in the Parade to see what the smart set is wearing, or you could simply subscribe to SO MOD. This magazine will keep you from ( gasp! ) wearing polka dots out of season. It also serves up a heap of dishy gossip. Meow!

HAPPY MASKS —  THE LATEST TREND!        Put on a happy face! Style-setter Davey Hackney has designed a mask that permanently turns your mouth into asa smile! “For the moment,” Hackney says, “these masks are quite pricey and only for the smart set.” However they’re sure to catch on with the common folks eventually. ( Hackney grimaces at the thought: “Then I shall have to wear something else on my face when that happens. Perhaps a shroud.” )

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Thanks for posting the WHF booklet info! It’s much appreciated~

Of course ! <3 I really planned to post it much sooner, so I’m glad I finally was able to get around to it. I’m gonna try and type up the next few parts tonight! The handbook isn’t terribly long so I think things will go quickly :)

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HOW TO BE HAPPY: A Brief Guide for Citizens [Part 1 of 4]

(I haven’t seen this written out anywhere yet, so I thought it might be useful to the WHF community as a whole to have a full transcript for the We Happy Few Handbook found in the time capsule. SO with no further adieu) 

                                           INTRODUCTION.                                          - BY UNCLE JACK -

If you want to be happy, you’ve come to the right place because Wellington Wells is surely the happiest place on earth! If you do just as everyone else is doing and take your Joy, you’ll have a splendid time!

One of the reasons we’re so happy is that we take Joy to help us forget the past. If you can’t remember the past, then you won’t make the same mistake again! So start thinking of all the fun you can have today!

Our Executive Committee has graciously prepared this little book to help you enjoy life to the fullest. Whatever your interests - gardening, fashion, sports, you name it - your bound to find it in Wellington Wells. 

So as you’re reading this book, be sure to smile at just how lucky we are to be in Wellington Wells, where there are always rainbows after the rain, and no one ever feels hungry or sad. Are you smiling right now? That’s how you can tell you’ve had enough Joy. But just to be sure, why not pop another Joy right now? 

     A BREIF, HAPPY HISTORY OF WELLINGTON WELLS.

Wellington Wells has always been a delightful place! People have been having a splendid time here for centuries.

PAGAN BRITAIN.      Wellington Wells boast an ancient henge, which local scholars believe to have been the site of much prehistoric merriment. Until recently, people wrongfully believed the pagans practiced human sacrifice here, but we now know their rituals was more like a game of duck-duck-goose. 

DARK AGES.      Very little is known about the Dark Ages, as very little was written down during this time - perhaps because it was too dark to see to write. However, archaeologists have discovered evidence of a medieval tavern on Rat Holm, so we know that Dark Age Wellies already knew how to have a good time!

NORMAN CONQUEST.      William the Conqueror came to England in 1066, most likely because he was bored with France and its rich sauces. A little known fact: many people believe William the Conqueror’s name was Norman, but it’s actually William. Be sure to impress your friends with this tidbit!

TUDOR ERA.      The Tudor period is best known for it’s quaint half-timbre architecture and the easing of divorce regulations - both of which we can still enjoy today.

THE GLORIOUS REVOLUTION.      The name says it all, doesn’t it?

VICTORIAN ERA.      Queen Victoria is famous for being easily amused - at least, that is what local scholars believe. Many of our loveliest buildings in the Parade date to the Victorian era. Queen Victoria loved parades. At least, we think she did. At any rate, we love a good parade, don’t we?

20TH CENTURY.      From the turn-of-the-century through the 1930s, Britain enjoyed decades of great progress. The 1950s are an even more impressive golden age of technology - most notably with the inventions of Joy and Motilene. ( Very little is known about the 1940s, because it was much too long ago for anybody to remember! )

                    HAPPY WELLIES AREN’T ALL ALIKE!

Citizens of Wellington Wells have a variety of hobbies and interest that keep them feeling chipper. Maybe one of them will inspire you!

THE BOBBIES.      The Bobbies enjoy whistling and improving their vocabulary. According to Constable Constable, a Word of The Day Calendar in the Bobbies’ dressing rom “permits us to ameliorate our epistemological erudition whilst arraying ourselves in sartorial, uh, uniforms.”

TABITHA DAINTY.      Mrs. Dainty, a resident of the Thomasina House, gets great satisfaction from her many cats - except for a certain naughty cat named Sebastian who hides and won’t eat his cake. Mrs. Dainty passes the time doing needlepoint and washing the windows whenever the Bobbies are exercising shirtless outside her house. 

HARRY PLANTAGENET AND CLIVE BIRTWHISTLE.      Harry Plantagenet and Clive Birtwhistle enjoy tracing their family’s genealogy, as they are both have royal blood. Says Plantagenet, “It does give one such a sense of pride to have been born to the right sort!”

DAVEY HACKNEY.      Fashion maven Davey Hackney enjoys both modern design and the elegant historic houses of the Parade District. “I can appreciate elegance from all eras,” he says. Unfortunately, he is not fond of the new vogue for Brutalist architecture, so he wears a pair of horse pair of horse blinders to block out any offending structures. Clever lad!

JOHNNY BOLTON.       Bolton is known as the rather serious chap who ran the Cryptology Intelligence Division during the unpleasantness with the Germans. But even Bolton manages to unwind. He finds advanced mathematics especially relaxing; his hobby is trying to prove Fermat’s Last Theorem. “I’ve always had a knack for seeing patterns others can’t see,” Bolton says. In his spare time, he also enjoys the cinema and detective stories. 

MARGERY FLOWERDEW.      Margery Flowerdew enjoys working in her garden. Gardening is something her family is famous for, though she can’t remember why - “We must have won some prizes or some such.” Her favourite flowers are roses, though she confesses to living all flowers, except for foxglove.

VANESSA TINKER-BELL      Literary luminary Venessa Tinker-Bell is the director of the Bloomsbury Road Lending Library. Venessa’s scholarly research recently proved that Shakespeare’s tragedies were actually intended as comedies. “Titus Andronicus is especially hilarious,” she laughs. In her role as editor of the Hamlyn Abridged Classics, she is adapting literary masterpieces so as to remove the unhappy parts, “because no one wants a book that makes them glum!” Her current project is the happy version of Les Miserables.

A SELECTION OF HAPPY WELLIES      So as you see, there are as many way to be happy as there are people in Wellington Wells! What makes YOU happy? Why not make a lists? We’ve already filled in the first item for you! (It’s Joy, of course).

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Seung-Gil Lee Icons

16 Icons of Seung-Gil Lee from Yuri!!! on Ice

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Mikado Ryugamine icons

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Icons of Mikado Ryugamine from Durarara!!

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“Some are young people who don’t know who they are, what they can be or even want to be. They are afraid, but they don’t know of what. They are angry, but they don’t know at whom. They are rejected and they don’t know why. All they want is to be somebody. ” 

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These two cuties are leaders of the gangs.

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Kuroshitsuji 135 | That Butler, Presenting

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Under the cut are #75 JOKER ICONS from the CIRCUS ARC of the KUROSHITSUJI MANGA. please LIKE/REBLOG if using. 

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