[salamanding]

saddest dog in the world

[big-brain-brian]

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[solarisii]

Life in Hell (1977-2012) Matt Groening

[lemonsweet]

THIS SET UP?

[replicated]

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

[not100bees]

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

[kholdseid]

[clickysteve]

Naxos, Greece. 2025.

[aquilacalvitium]

Someone photoshop a minecraft water block in

[trainsofthought]

[campsis]

Eden Kalif, Good Cats

[viralfrog]

[vee-dmsr]

[girlnephew]

[raysipe1]

Thanos Car wins piston cup

[raysipe1]

Piston cup!

[charlottan]

man of few words i see!

[flicorian]

The Dog Rock  in Walpole, Massachusetts. by ScOtT

[veryextraincorrectfegbaquotes]

[cookiethebirddoll]

this post is ruining my life. i keep saying that im doing things “dustly” and that things were “mad of dust”

[haunted-skitty-doll]

Sorry to post shit I found on reddit but this video has been on my mind for like 3 weeks now

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[pokeballvictimized]

i wonder if i'll still have a blog tomorrow when i wake up!!!! it looks like posts are getting deleted right off my blog so idkkkkkkkkkkkk

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

well that didn't take long, less than an hour. @staff do you wonder why we loathe you?

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

please note that none of you would have seen this if I hadn't reblogged it because I believed her. can you please believe me that it happens so much more often than you hear about? the only rare thing here is that it's too obvious to miss.