A Story Like Mine
Poem by Halsey at the NYC Women’s March
#tw rape/sexual violence
When she said the words, “What do you mean this happened to me?!”, there were no dry eyes anywhere.
It’s 2009 and I’m 14 and I’m crying
Not really sure where I am
But I’m holding the hand of my best friend, Sam
In the waiting room of a planned parenthood
The air is sterile and clean
And the walls are that…not grey, but green
And the lights are so bright they could burn a hole through the seam of my jeans
And my phone is buzzing in my pocket
My mom is asking me if I remembered my keys
‘Cause she’s closing the door and she needs to lock it
But I can’t tell my mom where I’ve gone
I can’t tell anyone at all
You see, my best friend Sam was raped by a man
That we knew because he worked in the after-school program
And he held her down, with her textbooks beside her
And he covered her mouth and then he came inside her
So, now I’m with Sam
At the place with the plan
Waiting for a medical exam
And she’s PRAYING she doesn’t need an abortion
She couldn’t afford it
And her parents would like…totally kill her
It’s 2002 And my family just moved
And the only people I know are my mom’s friend, Sue and her son
He’s got a case of Matchbox cars and he says that he’ll teach me to play the guitar…if I just keep quiet
And the stairwell beside apartment 1245 will haunt me in my sleep for as long as I am alive
And I’m too young to know why it aches in my thighs, but I must lie, I must lie
It’s 2012 and I’m dating a guy
And I sleep in his bed And I just learned how to drive
He’s older than me And he drinks whiskey neat
And he’s paying for everything This adult thing…it’s not cheap
We’ve been fighting a lot Almost 10 times a week
And he wants to have sex And I just want to sleep
But he says I can’t so no to him This much I owe to him
He buys my dinners So I have to blow him
He’s taken to forcing me down on my knees And I’m confused because he’s hurting me while he says “please”
And he’s only a man and these things he just needs He’s my boyfriend so why am I filled with unease?
It’s 2017 and I live like a queen
And I’ve followed damn near every one of my dreams
I’m invincible and I’m so fucking naive
I believe I’m protected 'cause I live on a screen
Nobody would dare act that way around me
I’ve earned my protection, eternally clean
Until a man that I trust gets his hands in my pants
But I don’t want none of that, I just wanted to dance
And I wake up the next morning like I’m in a trance
And there’s blood
Is that my blood?
Hold on a minute
You see I’ve worked every day since I was 18
I’ve toured everywhere from Japan to Mar-a-Lago
I even went on stage that night in Chicago when I was having a miscarriage
I mean, I pied the piper, I put on a diaper
And sang out my spleen to a room full of teens
What do you mean this happened to me?
You can’t put your hands on me
You don’t know what my body has been through
I’m supposed to be safe now
I earned it
It’s 2018 and I’ve realized nobody is safe long as she is alive
And every friend that I know has a story like mine
And the world tells me we should take it as a compliment
But then heroes like Ashley and Simone and Gabby, McKayla and Gaga, Rosario, Aly
Remind me this is the beginning, it is not the finale
And that’s why we’re here
And that’s why we rally
It’s Olympians and a medical resident and not one fucking word from the man who is President
It’s about closed doors and secrets and legs and stilettos
From the Hollywood hills to the projects in ghettos
When babies are ripped from the arms of teen mothers and child brides cry globally under the covers
Who don’t have a voice on the magazine covers
They tell us take cover
But we are not free until all of us are free
So love your neighbor, please treat her kindly
Ask her story and then shut up and listen
Black, Asian, poor, wealthy, trans, cis, Muslim, Christian/
Listen, listen and then yell at the top of your lungs
Be a voice for all those who have prisoner tongues
For the people who had to grow up way too young
There is work to be done
There are songs to be sung
Lord knows there’s a war to be won
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