âWhatâs to become of us now?â
âA mess. A tangled and never ending mess that will drive us both mad till one of us ends up killing the other.â
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@abunnywhowrites
âWhatâs to become of us now?â
âA mess. A tangled and never ending mess that will drive us both mad till one of us ends up killing the other.â
how it feels occasionally revisiting your old fandom youâre no longer a part of but all the good memories are still there. #nostalgia
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how i sleep knowing i write shitty fiction but at least donât use chatgpt
Taking an unannounced break from Twitter simply because my comparison levels have gotten all too high these past two months. I need to remember my own work is wonderful and good in its own character. I should not expect others to mention it by name to be its deciding factor on popularity.
Maybe a few of my mutuals will reach out after my silence, but weâll see. Iâm not returning till I post a new fic simply so I donât compare it to others drabbles and small threads of writing.
I wish my flow of writing was more natural. I usually write consistently for 5-6 daysâadding maybe 8k+words during those days as I try to write at least 1k words each day when Iâm full of ambition and ideas.
After that consistent flow comes to an end, I just canât write at all,,,perhaps for two weeks even. I really need to find a better balance when it comes to writing, but I havenât found something that works for me or my schedule yet.
I will admit itâs better than my state of writing from one year ago where I didnât write anything at all. I was truly unmotivated all of last year so I suppose I shouldnât complain about these spouts of inspiration that much.
Jun Wu will forever be a character I wonât forget about. Not in the way he was revealed to be the villain all along. Not because he was described to be handsomeâwhich I cannot deny, he is. Not even because he is,,,âdaddy material.â Simply because the way he was portrayed, thought out, and created in a way that even after all these years of having him as my favorite character, I never can truly understand what heâs thinking.
To be born as a crown prince to a rising nation, seen as a beacon of sunlight before your body stops growing. To be seen as an outstanding god when you ascended not even a decade ago. Such demands from a young age, yet he allowed it all to happen. To feel wanted. To feel loved even if it was for the commoners own selfish desires of protection and pride. To say their young prince was âgreater than your god,â simply because he still had shoes to grow into. That he had robes that needed to be created once he grew to his actual height.
Who wouldnât wish to save the common people? Who wouldnât desire to keep your believers safe and secure? To be desired is to be known. Any ruler and sensible individual would want to keep those who believe in you happy and healthy. That is exactly why the crown prince strives to keep his kingdom so prosperous. So intact that many gods grow jealous over a young and growing god.
Yet, when such a young prince shares his anxieties of a believable future. That everything they strived for was to burn and become rubble in time to come. All because of a dream he hadâviolence is the first thought to come to a mortal's mind. Killing and conquering neighboring nations all for the goodness of âsaving themâ was the common peopleâs goal at safety. Even after the crown prince rejected such an idea, they sought out to solve it themselves. Killing the neighboring nations and beginning a tension of war/conflict.
Even after rejecting such a violent resolution, what was the crown prince to do? A slap on the wrist didnât work. Saying ânoâ didnât even make them glance back at him. Surely, punishing those various soldiers will. Yet, now heâs seen as cruel and unkind. His temples being burned for simply making his own people have consequences to their actions. About learning what it does to go against a god's words.
With the idea of war being forgotten, desperation was at an all time high for the crown prince. The idea of making a bridge for his people to cross into the heavens safely was never heard of. His people cheered while the gods sneered. Even so, he put all his work into it. Still holding onto that bit of hope and optimism that the common people, his common people deserved to be saved.
Yet, while giving it his all, other things lacked. He wasnât answering prayers. He wasnât listening to his people, but other gods did. Using such a tactic against the young god. Now, he was weakening. It wasnât the lack of faith or belief the mortals swore, it was all his fault. He showed no care anymore. So what if his fingers were battered and bones exhausted from slaving away at building a bridge? He wasnât attending to their wishes so obviously he was no better than the other gods in heaven.
But, how selfish can people be when faced with fear? How easy is it to forget hating someone once theyâre the last one to give you protection? When the volcano erupts, they remember their god. Only then do they remember their crown prince once death overwhelms their mind. Every man and woman for themselves. Egomania drove all of the kingdom's citizens to swarm the bridge. Damn the children. Damn your lovers. Damn the very act of caring for one another.
Does it end well? Of course not. We all know how that ended. When weakness breaks through. When doubt sets in. Who is to blame? Are we to blame each other for not standing together? Are we to blame for our own weakness and introversion? Coming together to admit we all lost our ways and should be more faithful next time? To forgive the young god we took for granted?
No. All of our blame should be placed on the said crown prince. Heâs our ruler. Heâs our god. Heâs our beacon of sunlight. He was to be our protector. Surely, it was his fault. From the very beginning of harming his own mortal soldiers to letting so many of his people die, itâs truly all his fault.
Suddenly being painted a failure, a sorry excuse for a prince and a god. The kind words from years ago being forgotten and now replaced with hateful stares. When you donât gain any wishes or attention, why should a person care about the god anymore? Why should they bear gifts and hospitality?
When desperation comes into the crown prince's mind once more, who cares about mortality anymore? When people damned him for being a failure, should he truly protect them? Should he stand by them anymore or should he save himself and his kingdom? Pacifying the earth with their blood.
It started with criminals. Truly, it shouldnât have even begun there. In such a young mind that was slowly breaking away into madness, he believed he was doing a good thing. Murders, thieves, and other crimes committed by various mortals didnât deserve a chance at life. Yet, when his own three vassals were thrown into the kiln as well, who was truly the evil in the end?
To go to such lengths. Yet, when shown selfishness all his life, the crown prince thinks for himself just this once. He knows he wasnât thinking at all. Avenging his pride was all he desired at that moment.
Yet, when he goes mad with anger and fights back, he was never a young god growing into his boots. He was never a prideful immortal to boast about. A being that kills his own vassals and people. Driving away the last sensible person in his life in a fit of rage. All while the parasitic wounds on your face scream at you for your sins. What was he now? A young naive crown prince or a hellish abomination wearing a crown?
No one will remember such a disgrace if there is no one to remember. To kill all those in the heavens. Those who mocked and stole your believers finally having their blood spilt onto the white steps of the temples they hid in. Was it enough? Of course it wasnât, he needed more.
Making a new name. A new story so that your actual past was forgotten in the volcanic fire that swallowed such history. Such a name and fake backstory was believable when you had the title of Heavenly Emperor to prove it. Was it enough? Once again, he needed more.
You would think such hate would be sated. Be satisfied. Perhaps diminished even. When youâve held the world in your hands since a young age, itâs never enough. Smiles and small laughs that were forced can hide such bitterness for only so long.
When another young prince, practically ascending at the same age as him Iâm sure of it, comes centuries later. Both born during the same celestial phase even, you would think such a thing wouldnât be possible. That the young crown prince now crowned the heavenly emperor, now renamed as Jun Wu, would laugh at such a coincidence.
Yet, the same aspirations couldnât be ignored. The same ambition, the same goodness in his young and naive heart. Wouldnât such a sight bring back the young bitterness that was locked away?
Acting as a mentor was a start. A wondrous start and brought a new beginning and even hope for the young crown prince of XianLe. To be looked upon after by the emperor of the heavens. Surely anyone would be jealous of such favoritism. Yet, hidden implications under training matches and small conversations wouldnât be noticed just yet.
Many laugh at the line that started it all. The seven word phrase that surely is childish when you look at it from a broad spectrum. Yet, to Jun Wu who truly tried his best to look grand. To make himself be seen as more than a bitter young god like he truly was, resentment turns deeply into rage.
For his body was in paradise. He was the top god in the heavens, respected by all. Feared by those who dared to oppose him. Truthfully, he was a beacon of light, was he not? Just as his first believers said, he was the sun of his kingdom. Now he was the sun of the heavens.
Yet, under the surface. Under jade armor that could blind a mortal's eyes. Under an understanding gaze that held wisdom far beyond his years. There was an abyss that was eating away at him. To be reminded of such a suffocating experience, an experience he only knew of. Why not make the man who said such a line experience it as well? To let him prove such a line through tests of agonizing pain and suffering.
During his time of being cruel to Xie Lian, perhaps far more than cruel, it was very unclear what could be his thought process. All he truly seemed to want was a successor. To break someone down to the point he could no longer be called a man. Someone like him. Someone to follow in his footsteps no matter the stakes. Doing all of this while acting like a god above the heavens while driving a sword through such a young crown prince under a different guise.
Truthfully, was he any better than his own believers from when he was a crown prince? No, he was worse. Far worse. Any respect or chance of being forgiven and remembered for such a tragic youth was forgotten the moment he forced such actions on another young prince like him. An innocent boy who truly didnât deserve such a life.
Jun Wuâs youth was a tragedy. A terrible thing that truly shouldnât have happened. Yet, to force such a life on another boy who didnât deserve even an ounce of such cruelty. Your past self canât save your current actions.
To still try and act like a good man despite the blood staining his nails. Practically sewn into his robes. One must think, how can one act in such a way? To think he deserves to be in the heavens knowing he should reside in hell. Yet, not even the demons in demon city would accept a man like him.
With his reveal finally being brought to light, he should have been slaughtered right there. Perhaps beaten till black and blue. Yet, for a grand figure to be a being worse than nearly all demons, nobody would dare move at first. Can you even blame them? Even in the final battle, multiple martial gods had to keep him at bay till Xie Lian had defeated him.
And when heâs defeated, many craved for Xie Lian to drive his sword through Jun Wuâs chest. To finally end all of his trauma from the past by killing the very man who was the start of it all. Yet, he doesnât.
Such a thing angered so many readers. Claiming Jun Wu would truly be better off dead. At first glance, yes. Such an ending is what we expect from all types of media nowadays. The good guys win while the villains are killed in a street, bleeding out.
Yet, once long ago, wasnât Xie Lian technically in that same position? He wasnât a villain, he never was what Jun Wu is. Yet, he was laying out, bleeding in a street hating the world. Anger and resentment in his heart at the world. People stepping over him and barely glancing at him. Begging for one last chance to see goodness in the world. When he finally had enough, one person stopped and changed his mind completely. Truly one person was enough.
Xie Lian giving Jun Wu his bamboo wasnât an act of forgiveness. Xie Lian doesnât deserve giving Jun Wu any forgiveness. The gift of a simple bamboo hat was a step in a direction. A direction that was Jun Wuâs choice to make now. He was hated by nearly everyone. All three realms knew of his crimes and what he was. Even so, was he still going to make an attempt at changing himself despite it all?
After destroying two nations. Ruining the life of a young god. Losing respect he had from people around him twice in his life now, was he to accept that he was cruel? Was he to accept he was a monster? We all say yes and I agree as well, yet itâs his decision if he wants to keep being such a terrible man. The road to recovery is long, but it will be even longer if one doesnât start taking steps on such a path.
For a young and ambitious prince to become a cruel and evil outcast at the end of his life. At an outside glance, why did a man become this way? What drove a man to such lengths of massacre and destruction? I can swear to you it was the act of him simply not holding out in that goodness in his heart like Xie Lian did. In the end though, no one can be as good as Xie Lian. There will never be someone as kind-hearted as him, which truly was the reason he and Jun Wu never was and never will be the same.
I want to add a second reason as to why. Yet, I fear I will sound childish saying it. Perhaps even like Jun Wu himself. I will swear the common people may be at blame as well.
Jun Wuâs later actions were his own. Yet, the start of it all resided in such high expectations of people he wanted to have believing in him. If they didnât have faith, what was he? Even after trying his best to save them, he was a sorry excuse for a god. If he didnât try to save them, he was still a sorry excuse for a god. Was there any way to win the approval of so many people? Truthfully, no. We canât satisfy everyone. Yet, when young and inexperienced, all one can desire is for others to see them in a good light.
Even after breaking his back to save them, it was never enough. Selfish desires and expectations began Jun Wuâs descent into madness. He simply furthered it until he saw only anger at the mere mention of the common people. That truly, there was no reason and gain in saving the common people.
With such ideations, no one was good. Everyone had faults and was guilty of something in his mind. Whether gods or people, no one was a saint. Jun Wu being the worst of them all and standing above all at the same time.
Even after all of the tragedy in his youth, Jun Wu doesnât deserve to be held. Jun Wu doesnât deserve forgiveness. Jun Wu doesnât deserve to be cradled gently. Jun Wu doesnât deserve anything and yet all he desired was for someone to do those various things. How oneâs self-sabotage can go so far to ruin the very thing he wanted. How his strive for someone to be just like him made him so different from anyone.
When he was young, all he needed was someone to say, âheâs doing alright.â Now that heâs old, he needs to be told to ârest.â Will he listen this time? Time will only tell.
Why I even love him as a character is odd. I hate him. I loathe what he has done. He aggravates me. He confuses me. I want him to be at peace. I want to rip his chest open and watch the blood spill out. I want to heal his wounds. I wish he was given more than just imprisonment. A harsher beating wouldnât suffice. Yet, all of these things are why I love characters. The very reason why I even write about these charactersâJun Wu being the one I have written about the most when creating fanworks.
If a character's true intentions are confusing and hard to understand, I like to read about them. Delve into their mind and see what makes that character unique. Different. What makes that character their name?
The very fact Jun Wuâs name isnât his real name is what intrigues me. The very fact he wants people to follow his ways and words, but still making it seem like they have the choice to do so is captivating to me. To act so grand and godly when in reality, someone pointing out a single flaw within his beautiful persona of a heavenly emperor drives him to ruin the lives of a singular boy. Childish, isnât he?
To this day, Jun Wu confuses me. What his true personality is, perhaps he has forgotten it long ago. Is he truly a kind and understanding ruler? A cruel and mocking calamity? A bitter and jealous man when shown that others get what he has always desired? Maybe heâs all three. Maybe heâs none. All I know is Jun Wu will forever be in the back of my mind no matter how old I become. Simply because, I donât think Iâll find another character like him ever again.
I over talked once more. I rambled on for far too long. Yet, I donât mind. Perhaps this made me understand his character more. Perhaps I will loathe him completely one day. Maybe Iâll love him more than he could have ever loved himself. Yet, I doubt that day will ever come.
i do NOT write for myself i write for the eleven year old girl walking circles on the playground making up stories in her head and muttering the dialogue out loud. i see you girl. that stick you found DOES look like a cool dagger.
Anyone and everyone CAN write. The worldâs most skilled writer didnât start off skilled. The key is that they practice hard by writing a lot.
As long as you write, you are practicing your craft and you are getting better at writing. But you will never get anywhere if you let AI write for you.
Truthfully, it makes me sad to see so many young writers become discouraged simply because they see so much discourse over âwriting badly.â Many always say âwe all start somewhere,â and people will reblog, like, comment, and even retweet such a statement on other platforms.
Yet, when an actual young writer comes with a new fic or even explaining the plans for their new book. They even might have little to no experience and are maybe new to posting such things. Theyâre met with remarks such as âget better before posting,â or âpractice more.â I even saw multiple people agreeing that âonce you post something, you are subjected to otherâs opinions.â
While I can agree to a degree, my proudest moments as a fanfiction author and even creatively writing was just by simply writing like no one was going to read my words. Staying up late and writing nonsense that my friends and I would laugh at the next day at our lunch table. When youâre thirteen, you donât care about the worldâs opinion. The only thing youâre worried about is if you have enough time to write a new chapter for your Hetalia wattpad fic when you finish your homework.
Such a claim may be true in a way, but unless asked in notes and even private DMs, I truly donât think we should hatefully call out writings unless theyâre AI generated. If I see a grammatical error, I know the person is human just like me and skip over it. Yet, so many people have become comfortable with screenshotting the passage and flaming the author online for an overlooked wording/sentence.
Maybe Iâm far too sensitive and looking too much into this, but if I wanted my writing to be corrected and hated upon, I would go to my college professor that I hated in university. Perhaps even my mother who is a teacher herself. This idea that âonce you publish something, youâre subjected to everyoneâs opinions,â which once again is true, but so damaging in the long run if that is all the writer will think about.
The idea of a stranger on the internet freely criticizing a young writersâ work is whatâs going to make the writing industry die away I feel. Once such a field is no longer as popular, people will complain more about the lack of fics/writing instead of the fact critics chased them away.
You can find serious and beautifully written works of fiction within every fandom. Why must we hate on those having fun and writing crack fics? Why must we hate on the jesters if he was made to laugh and entertain?
Iâm rambling on as I always do, but I just ask people to be kind to young writers. Theyâre battling an algebra exam this Friday while giving you free content. A young college student stayed up writing that fic for you instead of studying for their final. The average adult gave you time out of their break at work to post a fic for you. I just ask people be kinder to those starting out in such a demanding field of âperfectionâ much like writing.