Look to the Stars ☆

Hiya! You can call me KitKat or Lucky! Or Flower/Star Dad if that floats your boat! This is an abuse vent/advice blog for minors! I'm always happy to help so feel free to drop by whenever! No MAP's, racists, TERF's, aphobes, etc. My pronouns are He/She and I am a minor myself!

[abusetroubles]

HELLO!!!

Sorry for the major lack of activity guys!!! I’ve had to move over to @abusedtroubles and it’d really help if you refollow over there!!!

[abusetroubles]

HELLO!!!

Sorry for the major lack of activity guys!!! I’ve had to move over to @abusedtroubles and it’d really help if you refollow over there!!!

[abusetroubles]

HELLO!!!

Sorry for the major lack of activity guys!!! I’ve had to move over to @abusedtroubles and it’d really help if you refollow over there!!!

[abusetroubles]

HELLO!!!

Sorry for the major lack of activity guys!!! I’ve had to move over to @abusedtroubles and it’d really help if you refollow over there!!!

[abusetroubles]

HELLO!!!

Sorry for the major lack of activity guys!!! I’ve had to move over to @abusedtroubles and it’d really help if you refollow over there!!!

[abusetroubles]

HELLO!!!

Sorry for the major lack of activity guys!!! I’ve had to move over to @abusedtroubles and it’d really help if you refollow over there!!!

[abusetroubles]

HELLO!!!

Sorry for the major lack of activity guys!!! I've had to move over to @abusedtroubles and it'd really help if you refollow over there!!!

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

resources masterpost 3.0

The links broke again, so I’m remaking the post again.

This post is a list of helpful blogs and an index of my own tags for the people who’ve sent me messages that I haven’t been able to answer because of my illness, those who aren’t sure how to ask, and those who didn’t know they needed to ask in the first place.

PS: This post is linked under the ‘help’ button on my blog.

Asexuality and aromanticism

@ace-and-aro-support-group

@actuallyasexual

@a-positive

@aroadventures

@aroacepositivityplace

@asexualsafetag

@a-spec-tacular

@fuckyeahasexual

@resourcesforacesurvivors

@theasexualityblog

@asexuality-and-aphobia (my discourse blog)

theasexualityblog’s resources page

ace positivity

aro positivity

aphobia

aromanticism

asexuality

asexuality resources

attraction

aphobia masterpost

Gender

@afab-advice-help

@lifeoutsidethebinary

@mytranshealth

@nb-aceceptance

@nonbinaryresource

@transboysunited

@transfeminformative

@transgenderadvice

@transgenderteensurvivalguide

@trans-matters

binding

coming out

dysphoria

gender

nonbinary

trans issues

trans masculine

trans feminine

trans resources

The Librarian’s Gender Masterpost

Everything else LGBTQIA

@goodpositivitylgbt

@itgetsbetterproject

@lgbt-advice-page

@letters-to-lgbt-kids

@outforhealth

bisexuality

coming out

intersex

LGBTQ

orientation

orientation masterpost

sexuality and gender masterpost

The Librarian’s Sexuality Masterpost

Life

@fuckyeahfemalemasturbation

@howtogrowthefuckup

@howtoimpersonateanadult

@lowspoonsfood 

@plannedparenthood

@realsocialskills

@sexetc

@task-breakdown

@themidwifeisin

@whoneedssexed

whoneedssexed’s page of links

adulting

consent

eating

health

how to help

important

life advice

periods

reference

relationships

school

sex

sex ed

sleep

Chronic illness, disability, and neurodiversity

@actuallyadhd

@autisticadvocacy

@autism-asks

@autisticliving

@chronicillnesshelp

@chronicillnessproblems

@neurowonderful

@queerautism

@spooniestrong

@thespoontheory

@youngchronicpain

autism-asks’ resources page

ADHD

autism

autism traits

chronic illness

chronic pain

disability

stimming

Abuse and trauma

@abuseresources

@abusetroubles

@advicefromsurvivors

@all-about-abuse

@complexptsd

@emotionalabuseawareness

@emotionalabusesurvivors

@healing-phoenix

@letstalkaboutrape

@livingwithcptsd

@loveisrespect

@oftoxicparents

@posttraumaticstresssurvivors

@ptsdrecoverygroup

@sexual-abuse-survivor-support

@speakingofabuse

@support-for-survivors

@undothedamage

abuse

abuse support

abuse tactics

abuse tips

C-PTSD

child abuse

child sexual abuse

child-on-child sexual abuse

consent

domestic abuse

emotional abuse

escaping abuse

friendship abuse

gaslighting

parental abuse

PTSD

rape

trauma

triggers

Mental illness

@borderlinebravery

@butterfly-project

@clinicallydepressedpug

@dbtskills

@depressionresource

@dissociationdays

@everythingeatingdisordered

@fyoured

@imalivecrisischat

@mentalhealthexperiences

@mentalillnessmouse

@notdefinedbyed

@shitborderlinesdo

@stuff-i-got-in-therapy

@thedissociationnation

@therapy101

@tswatch

mentalillnessmouse’s helpful resources

addiction

anxiety

bipolar disorder

BPD

depression

dissociation

eating disorder

executive dysfunction

hotlines

intrusive thoughts

medication

mental illness

OCD

panic attack

psychosis

self harm

suicide

therapy

trauma

Positivity and self care

@anti-self-hate

@chooserecovery

@cwote

@goodstuffhappenedtoday

@internal-acceptance-movement

@killyouranxiety

@onlinecounsellingcollege

@positiveautistic

@positivedoodles

@positivityinrecovery

@princess-of-positivity​

@self-care-club

@selfcarepropaganda

@selfcarereminders

@self-care-strategies​

@selfcaretips

@sheisrecovering

@slightlyaggressiveaffirmations

bodyposipanda.com

body image

breathing

coping skills

DBT

distractions

recovery

relapse

reminders

self care

Social issues

@bigfatscience

@fatphobiabusters

@fightingmisogynoir

@fuckingrapeculture

@intersectionalfeminism101

@profeminist

@thatdiabolicalfeminist

@thisiseverydayracism

@worldfeminism

Christianity

Islam

Judaism

ableism

feminism

politics

racism

rape culture

take action

[depresseddisneyprincess]

People with depression can smile

People with depression can laugh

People with depression can eat normally

People with depression can have good sleeping

People with depression can seem happy

People with depression can have good grades

People with depression can be happy at some points

People with depression can have good days

People with depression don’t always appear to have depression

[cptsdead]

effects of parental abuse

+ the inability or struggle to say “no”, because disobedience meant punishment and you are used to being directed all the time

+ being unable to emotionally relate with your family (especially parents, if they are the abuser). concurring thoughts of “i won’t care if THEY die”, or “they won’t care if I die”

+ always afraid/hesitant to confide in someone else about feelings or thoughts, because you are used to being neglected/dismissed when you talk about your feelings, constantly being replied with “get over it”. the consequence of this is that the emotions/feelings pile up inside over time and, when you reach the limit, you suddenly become self-destructive or imminently violent/emotional

+ however, when given the chance to CONFIDE about your feelings with freedom confidently, everything spills out, even if it’s with a stranger or with someone you have not been in contact for very long.

+ you always assume that the answer to every question/statement you say is “no”, even if you definitely know the person is very likely to say “yes”. you prepare for denial and disappointment and feel a huge wave of relief when they say “yes”.

+ being secretive about enjoyment/liking things, or being secretive in what you’ve done for the day, even if it’s not deemed “bad” or “illegal”.

+ simultaneously confused whether you have affection towards your parent(s) or you hate them whole-heartedly, despite knowing that they abuse you. the confusion stems from “well, they’re my parent, so i think they’re doing this because they love me”, though the thought is, of course, false

+ being scared that people will only take advantage of you, as your parents consequently thought of you as an object to benefit from, and not someone to love.

+ being easily attached to others, because you had no parental figure. this can lead you to being easily manipulated and you are very easily controlled. children under parental abuse are also more likely to have “chosen families”.

+ having an “escape plan” or “last resort” if you still live with your parents, just in case they do something worse to you, thinking up of elaborate plans to get out, how you’ll survive, where you’ll stay, etc.

+ being surprised learning that other parents are unlike your parents, and having to have someone/a source to tell you that what your parents are doing is abusive, and as a child you thought it was normal to be unhappy at home.

+ liking school or days out because that meant being away from your parents

+ developing emotional/personality disorders and distorted thinking

[justemotionalabusethings-deacti]

(i’m gonna add one sorry)

+ finding yourself waiting to be given direction instead of taking the initiative because you’re so used to being controlled and told what to do

[abusetroubles]

@69-with-god Hi!!! To answer your question I rewrote everything to make it more accessible!!! Sometimes it's hard to see, or its hard to focus on the words with all the colors!!! Not to mention it's hard to see pictures when you're on mobile and have no wifi!!!

[drumshoww]

[abusetroubles]

{Image: Gold sparkly text against a dark purple background. It says, “You are worthy of love.”}

[cwote]

YOU MADE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY. THAT MAY NOT SEEM LIKE MUCH, BUT YOU'RE DOING SO GREAT!

[lavendersisterhood-deactivated2]

Rape Trauma Syndrome (or RTS) is related to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder but is more specific to sexual assault.  RTS describes symptoms of trauma including disruptions to normal physical, emotional, cognitive, and interpersonal behavior. Major symptoms of RTS are:

Re-Experiencing the Trauma: Rape victims may experience recurrent nightmares about the rape, flashbacks or may have an inability to stop remembering the rape.

Social Withdrawal: This symptom has been called ‘psychic numbing’ and involves not experiencing feelings of any kind.

Avoidance Behaviors and Actions: Victims may desire to avoid any feelings or thoughts that might recall to mind events about the rape.

Increased Physiological Arousal Characteristics: This symptom can be marked by an exaggerated startle response, hyper-vigilance, sleep disorders or difficulty concentrating.

​Although each individual’s experience is unique, people experiencing Rape Trauma Syndrome​ often process their trauma in a series of stages

The major stages of RTS are:

Acute Stage

The acute stage can begin days or weeks after a sexual assault and generally lasts for between a few days and a few weeks.  Often, victims begin experiencing symptoms of the acute stage after the initial shock of an assault has worn off.  Symptoms at this stage may include:

Diminished alertness or hyper-alertness

Numbness

Dulled sensory, affective and memory functions

Disorganized thought content

Nausea and Vomiting

Paralyzing anxiety

Obsession with washing or cleaning themselves

Confusion about everyday life

Acute sensitivity to the reaction of other people

Outward Adjustment Stage

​Outward adjustment often begins when the Acute stage ends, and can last for between a few months and several years if it is not interrupted.  

Keep reading

[kimberly-wants-to-hide]

Things more important than family

I nearly drowned when I was 3. My mom had to jump into the pool fully clothed to rescue me. 44 years later, she still complains that I made her ruin her Mickey Mouse watch.

My mom broke my arm when I was 6. She tells a funny story about it. She doesn’t tell the part about when she came to me immediately afterward and complained impatiently, “Stop crying! It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

When I was in my 30′s, a doctor committed malpractice in his treatment of me, resulting in me permanently having less than 50% kidney function. Every single time I mentioned the kidney disease to my mother—panicking about what this would mean for the rest of my life, explicitly asking her for comfort and reassurance—she told me that it was my own fault for trusting the doctor instead of researching everything on my own.

Some people will tell you that nothing is more important than family.

I’m here to tell you that love is more important than family. Loving yourself is more important than family. Finding other people who offer you unconditional love is more important than family.

If your family causes you pain, then there are a hell of a lot of things more important than family.

YOU are more important than family. Always remember that. Always.

[betterthandarkchocolate]

C-PTSD (Complex Post traumatic Stress Disorder)

The symptoms of PTSD apply well to people who have experienced a discrete or short-lived traumatic event, such as a motor vehicle accident, natural disaster, or rape. However, the symptoms of PTSD do not always completely map onto the experiences of people who have experienced chronic, repeated, or long-lasting traumatic events, such as childhood sexual and/or physical abuse, domestic violence, or captivity (such as being in a prisoner of war camp).

The traumatic events connected to Complex PTSD are long-lasting and generally involve some form of physical or emotional captivity, such as childhood sexual and/or physical abuse or domestic violence. In these types of events, a victim is under the control of another person and does not have the ability to easily escape.

Symptoms of Complex PTSD

The following symptoms stem from exposure to a chronic traumatic event where a person felt captive.

Emotion Regulation Problems- People with Complex PTSD experience difficulties managing their emotions. They may experience severe depression, thoughts of suicide, or have difficulties controlling their anger.

Changes in Consciousness- Following exposure to a chronic traumatic event, a person may repress memories of the traumatic event, experience flashbacks, or experience dissociation.

Changes in How a Person Views Themselves- Symptoms in this category include feelings of helplessness, shame, guilt, or feeling detached and different from others.

Changes in How the Victim Views the Perpetrator- A person with Complex PTSD may feel like he has no power over a perpetrator (the perpetrator has complete power in a relationship). In Complex PTSD, people might also become preoccupied with their relationship with a perpetrator (for example, constant thoughts of wanting revenge).

Changes in Personal Relationships- These symptoms include problems with relationships, such as isolating oneself or being distrusting of others.

Changes in How One Views the World- People exposed to chronic or repeated traumatic events may also lose faith in humanity or have a sense of hopelessness about the future.

Complex PTSD can be a debilitating condition. Most people with Complex PTSD also meet the criteria for a PTSD diagnosis. They may also be at greater risk for abusing substances as a way of trying to cope with severe emotional pain. Many people with Complex PTSD also engage in deliberate self-harm. If you have been exposed to a chronic traumatic event, it is important to seek out help.

[dissociationdays]

Depersonalisation and Derealisation Information

We get a lot of questions on DPDR, so I thought I’d pull a little information together on the topic. 

Hope this helps someone and everyone is OK.

Depersonalisation and derealisation are often difficult for people who experience these states to describe.

In general people experience a sense of detachment from reality and a detachment form their sense of self. In most cases these two symptoms co-occur.

Symptoms are often triggered by stressors in life, severe anxiety and commonly also drug use. Symptoms can be transient and last only a few weeks, if this is the case generally no treatment is required. If symptoms are persistent or have a large impact on functioning, then it is the best course of action to seek some professional guidance from a psychiatrist or psychologist who has experience with dissociative disorders.

Depersonalisation is not just detachment from the body “That isn’t my leg” but it can further into thoughts as well such as “That thought isn’t my own” or “My head is filled with cotton wool” etc. Also a person may detach form their basic needs such as hunger, thirst etc.

Derealisation means a person may feel like they are in a bubble, or a dream or like they are detached from what is going on around them in some way. Some people may experience viewing things in 2D or they may lose colour or seem flatter than they otherwise would be.