Rape Culture Education & Advocacy. The inferiority of WOMEN is m @lavenderpoetryx - Tumblr Blog

prober2020

Despite the sheer and uncommunicable amount of violence enacted upon the female body throughout history, it’s woman as terroriser, as beast, that we keep coming back to.

It’s easy, really, to remove a penis.

It might even be luxurious, like taking yourself out to lunch: starched tablecloth, martini-olive, glint of a diamond on the finger.

It’s an act of security and authority, a statement of ownership, yes, but also elegance, desire – white linen and clean nails, of long fingers reaching out to take, take, take until we’re sated, day-drunk, a little giddy.

It’s less about the removal of the penis than it is about how we as the castrators feel about removing the penis.

prober2020

Identifying Trauma Bonds

You may be caught in a trauma/betrayal bond if:

You stay in dangerous relationships, attract friends or partners who use you or hurt you.

You have to keep secrets or cover up your partner’s anger, abuse or addictions.

You feel that you have to make your partner understand how you are and he does not care about your feelings.

If people who are truly your friends are worried about your situation but you are not, you are in denial.

Your partner expects you to isolate from others, meet every demand, read his mind and always give him what is expected.

The two of you have destructive fights where behavior deteriorates to hurting each other with words or action instead of trying to solve the problem.

You are supporting someone who is financially irresponsible.

You have given up your sense of self to meet the needs of someone who is selfish and uses you.

You long for someone from a past relationship that was unhealthy for you.

Survivors of sexual assault are voters too. So why aren't the Presidential candidates paying attention to them?

WHY? Because you have to deal with the Patriarchy.

We still want to believe in benevolent Patriarchy will take care of everything for us.

Bc it’s in every single MALE including Biden who has to be told to apologize FOR HIS BEHAVIOR to Anita Hill.

#LAVENDER justice #LAVENDER politics

prober2020

Brooke Nevils, the former NBC News employee who accused Matt Lauer of sexually assaulting her, praises those who have reached out to her in the wake of her telling her story.

lavenderpoetryx

I hate this post. No one is going to like and repost it. BUT as a woman who loves all my fellow lavender sisters,

I must educate you NOW on Economics 101.

I, wanted to be in advertising but ended up the brokerage industry right out of college and into the dot.com years. I was one of those high level administrative assistant to the Managing Director of 13 California branches, headquartered in San Fran. And yes, I have some stories of lavish spending bosses, spoiled coked out trading floor & the day the SEC came in.

To do my job, I had to take all the same courses ALL BROKERS must take. NASD Series 7, 63 & I had a Principle 24, so that I knew the SEC regulations on the same level as my boss to alert him & act in his behalf. The real reason is so that my boss could stay home and call in the trades and I would do the transactions.

WE ARE IN A FINANCIAL BUBBLE

with about a maximum length of 2 years before the shit hits the fan, worse than any financial downfall anyone still alive remembers.

Right NOW you have a grace period to buffer your financial losses by lowering your COLLATERALIZE LOANS into UNCOLLATERALIZED DEBT.

What does that mean?

Keep reading

According to police, the assault stopped when the bride caught him.

#LAVENDER wall of shame

Details of the alleged 2014 incident, including the accuser's identity, were revealed in excerpts from Ronan Farrow's book "Catch and Kill."

#LAVENDER wall of shame #LAVENDER celebrities

Karen Johnson, a Mar-a-Lago regular, said Trump pulled her behind a tapestry and kissed her without her consent during a party in the early 2000s.

#lavender wall of shame #lavender poltics

lavenderhealing-deactivated2024

While it is true that specific women have been scapegoated including; Eve, Helen, Marie Antoinette, etc, the discouraging trend of society is to blame women as a group. From issues of childhood development, to the vile behavior of men, women are predominantly blamed as the root cause.

Issues of Childhood Development

When a child experiences social, emotional, or moral developmental challenges who typically receives the blame?

In her book “The Feminine Mystique,” Betty Friedan points out it is usually the mother.

“… singled out for special attention was the “mother.” It was suddenly discovered that the mother could be blamed for almost everything.

In every case history of troubled child; alcoholic, suicide, schizophrenic, psychopathic, neurotic adult; impotent, homosexual male; frigid, promiscuous female; ulcerous, asthmatic, and otherwise disturbed American, could be found a mother.

A frustrated, repressed, disturbed, martyred, never satisfied, unhappy women. A demanding, nagging, shrewish wife. A rejecting, overprotecting, dominating mother.”

Even doctors continue to disproportionately hold women responsible if their children encounter difficulties.

Keep reading

#LAVENDER comedy

lavenderpoetryx

What exactly is "slut-shaming"? In its purest form, slut-shaming is an attack on someone's character and reputation, and one that demonizes female sexual agency.

What exactly is “slut-shaming”? Though one 2011 study found that almost half of all US women have been slut-shamed, it can be difficult to define, especially since it is often mixed with other kinds of sexist shaming and behavior-policing, including body-shaming and victim-blaming in sexual assault cases.

Perhaps the best working definition is, as Oxford Living Dictionaries puts it, “shaming a woman for her sexual experiences, real or invented, because of perceived violation of ideas of purity and morality.”

Women across the world are generally taught from birth, implicitly or explicitly, that their sexual behavior defines their worth in the world.

And women who violate, or are simply thought to violate, expectations of female sexual behavior — expectations which can include anything from refraining from pre-marital sex to being monogamous to not openly enjoying or being interested in sex — have been considered extremely dangerous by a variety of cultures for centuries (the Romans were dedicated to controlling female sexuality, for example).

Such women have incurred steep penalties for just as long — and nowhere is that more obvious than in modern cases of women whose sexual assaults and harassments are excused by observers, and sometimes even law enforcement, because of their own perceived past sexual behavior.

But despite its heartbreakingly long cultural history, long-term studies of slut-shaming’s psychological effects are very thin on the ground.

Women often don’t want to talk about it, and scientists often aren’t interested in studying it, even though conclusions can be easily drawn about how truly devastating it can be.

However, there’s a bit of science around to show how slut-shaming can rear its head years after it actually happens.

Keep reading

lavenderpoetryx

whenwomenrefuse: “A group of men attacked a female comedian on a D.C. street just days before she’s set to take the stage – and she says the show will go on. Paris Sashay, 23, was brutally attacked by...

lavendersisterhood-deactivated2

Rachael Denhollander recently revealed that the first time she was sexually abused was at the age of 7 by a college student at her church.

lavendermuseums

Sympathy: I know how you feel

Empathy: I feel how you feel

Compassion: is there anything I can do to help?

Know the differences and impress your writer friends! It really is noticeable when someone has a strong grasp of vocabulary, and thus is a stronger writer.

Also, empathy is not always compassionate or sympathetic!

It very often goes with those two, but empathy itself is not a requirement for feeling sympathy or compassion at all.

Empathy works like a sponge, and can happen whether you care about the people around you or not. It works with negative emotions such as anger, and can make you question which of the emotions you currently feel are your own.

lavenderpoetryx

The whole intention of gaslighting is to decrease someone’s self-esteem and self-confidence so they are unable to function in an independent manner. The person being gaslighted will eventually become so insecure that they will fail to trust their own judgment, their intuition and find themselves unable to make decisions.

Some warning signs that gaslighting is taking place:

Apologizing. A victim of gaslighting will constantly be apologizing for doing things wrong, even if they have done nothing wrong. Feeling sorry for everything means that the accountability and responsibility for all perceived wrong-doings has been claimed by one person—the victim. This ensures the perpetrator remains innocent and the victim is continuously guilty.

Can’t Make decisions. The victim will find decision making increasingly difficult, as they will feel that whatever they choose will be the wrong choice. Everything they do or say is wrong, so they feel that they are no longer capable of making rational decisions about anything, so they will leave it up to their abuser. This just gives the abuser even more power and control and prolongs the toxic dance that is taking place between the two. Change. Change is not always easy to notice, since most change happens bit by bit, so the process can feel very natural in some ways. However, if the victim thinks back to who they were before the relationship and who they are now, they will probably see significant differences.

Keep reading

prober2020

Imagine you’re drugged by someone you thought you trusted.

You wake up in the morning with your face down in the dirt.

You’re aching.

Your appearance has changed and you can feel that you’re different as you try to stand through the pain.

Beyond the physicality of it, your power was stolen from you.

Your flight response.

Your dignity.

You’re confused.

Enraged.

Devastated.

Angry.

You set everyone on fire around you.

You wish hatred on newborn babies.

You want to hide in an evil shell of darkness where everything is black and no one can touch you.

Or ever hurt you. They talk about walls on reality TV shows.

Oh, you build walls — they’re walls of thorns with armed towering guards that will crush any man who tries to approach it.

And though it sounds like a rape victim’s story — it’s not.

It’s the storyline of Maleficent.

prober2020

The topic of child sexual abuse can be difficult to broach, but psychologists advise parents to continue addressing the issue after-the-fact. If the abuse is ignored or swept under the rug, psychologists warn it could damage the child victim’s development.

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