ACADEMY OF PHONE ACTING

@academyofphoneacting

It's the opposite of a crank call.

21 posts

It’s the opposite of a crank call.

#fart #bong #academy of phone acting #telemarketing

IRS Scammer vs. Academy of Phone Acting - “Round 1″

The newest Academy of Phone Academy submission.... remember what we do is the OPPOSITE of a crank call. SPECIAL GUEST STAR: ROSE ABDOO

PASS IT AROUND!

#academy of phone acting #matta napkin #rose abdoo

It begins...

#academy of phone acting #podcast

Exclusive Customer Time Wasting Talkback Script for Academy Members Only™

FRATERNAL ORDER OF POLICE FUNDRAISING SHAKEDOWN CALL

If you feel like your local police department already has a respectable operating budget, this is the script for you! YouTube™ mood setters: Jack Webb on Dragnet, Pacino drunk restaurant scene in Scarface or as Lefty in Donnie Brasco, Denzel in Training Day, The Hollies doing Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress. Or just wing it. Print this out and keep it by phone for ready reference!

FOOP: Hello, I’m calling to see if you’d like to donate to the Fraternal Order Of Police.

YOU: When I introduce you, I'm gonna say, "This is a friend of mine." That means you're a connected guy. Now if I said instead, “This is a friend of OURS,” that would mean you’re a made guy. Capiche?

FOOP: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: This is now, officer, not a couple of years ago. We’ve had time now to see and study the effects of LSD. People who haven’t had a dose in weeks sail out on another trip! They don’t even know when! Marijuana is the flame, heroin is the fuse, LSD is the bomb. So don’t you try to equate liquor with marijuana, mister — not with me.

FOOP: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: You may sell that jazz to another pothead, but not to somebody who spends most of their time holding some sick kids head while he vomits and retches sitting on a curbstone at 4 o’clock in the morning.

FOOP: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Saturday night I was down town, working for the F.B.I. Sitting in a nest of bad men, whiskey bottles piling high. Boot legging boozer on the west side, full of people who are doing wrong. Just about to call up the D.A. man, when I heard this woman singing a song.

FOOP: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Today's a training day, Officer Hoyt. I got 38 cases pending trial, 63 in active investigations, another 250 on the log I can't clear. I supervise five officers. That's five different personalities. Five sets of problems. You can be number six if you act now. But I ain't holding no hands, okay? I ain't baby-sitting. You got today and today only to show me who and what you're made of. You don't like narcotics, get the fuck out of my car. Go get you a nice, pussy desk job, chasing bad checks or something, you hear me?

FOOP: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.

FOOP: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

FOOP: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Press One for Black Lives Matter … Press Two for Rudy Giuliani … Press Three for Payday Loans.

FOOP: (No matter what they say, keep repeating the above until you hear a beep)

YOU: Hold, please. (and hang up)

Lippative Backtalk Scripts by Conrad™

I didn’t think James would call back... but he did.

http://academyofphoneacting.com/

#academy of phone acting #telemarketing #reverse crank call

Exclusive Customer Time Wasting Talkback Script for Academy Members Only™

MUMBAI BOILER ROOM VIRUS SCAM DISRUPTER

Are you on Windows? Then you’ve probably been getting urgent calls from somebody who sounds like they are in a small, crowded room in a very Indian city, alerting you that your computer is infected with a hydra-headed virus that is going to melt your box like it was a Samsung phone. So print this script out and keep it by your phone! Bonus points if you can reply to the scammer in the voice of Peter Sellers in The Party (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFKJuzrCGj4).

MUMBAI BOILER ROOM SCAMMER: Hello, is this the mark?

YOU: I know what I am, but what are you?

MBRS: Your computer is infected with a virus and only I can fix it.

YOU: Can I have your credit card #?

MBRS: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: What is the three-digit security number on the back of the card?

MBRS: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: I see that you have moved from Lahore to Mumbai.

MBRS: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Okay, it says here that you have Windows 95. Press 3 if that is correct.

MBRS: (no matter what they say, keep repeating this until you hear a beep … this can go on for a while. If you get bored, just mute the phone, put it down and walk away and your job is done … otherwise, wait for a beep before you proceed)

YOU: Hello, your business is unimportant to me. How may I impede you?

MBRS: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Would you please record this call for my lack of quality control?

MBRS: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Please send my residuals to your next target. Is there anything else I can impede you with?

MBRS: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: I’m sorry, we charge extra to wrap barbed wire around the baseball bat.

MBRS: (no matter what they say, and wait for them to stop talking)

YOU: Birdie num num! (hang up)

Lippative Backtalk Scripts by Conrad™

#conrad academy of phone acting telemarketers microsoft phone scam

I've received a call from this company every 3 days for the last month. I tried to get on their "do not call list" but the moment I begin asking the telemarketer hangs up on me.

MAKE SURE YOU STAY UNTIL THE END CREDITS!

Share this video and upload your own.

FROM THE DESK OF THE PRESDENT

Dear Academy of Phone Acting Members,

We are currently test marketing our Tuesday video/phone call.

So far the feedback from the focus groups at our Saint Augustine facility has been through the roof.

It’s testing incredibly well with the 14 to 68 year old demographic… which we feel is our core audience.

See you Tuesday and have some fun this weekend.

Respectfully,

Dr. Cheryl Beil

President, Academy of Phone Acting

By Conrad™

I have a special offer for Academy of Phone Acting members ONLY! This is a completely automated solution to filtering junk calls. This stylish phone is built to LAST, and programmable with the accompanying pager ... just scroll through a digital LED readout on the pager and use the convenient up/down/left/right controls to enter codes that correspond to the specific calls and numbers that you want to block. Takes a while to set up but BOY does it work! Available in 2-year or 5-year contracts. Private message me here.

#academy of phone acting #junk calls #phone

Please Mark Your Calendar

When: Tuesday 11/15/16 Where: Academy of Phone Acting Why: You deserve it. What: A brand new video/call by my assistant "Bobby Gold"

Stick close... it's all going to be okay!

New Promotion Announcement to All Academy Members

I am delighted to announce Kevin McCormick has been promoted today to Supervising Associate Floor Supervisor. Kevin has been with our Academy from day one and his exemplary service in the field has been a shining beacon to us all. Please join me in congratulating Kevin!

Dr. Cheryl Beil - President Academy of Phone Acting

EMERGENCY ELECTION SPECIAL TALKBACK SCRIPT™

This script is for any campaign that personally calls you between now and Election Day. (Practice your inhale in advance: your nostrils should be fully flared, and you should inhale as deeply and audibly as you can, like an exhausted, enraged bull.) Print this and keep it by your phone!

CAMPAIGN PHONE BANKER: Hello, is this (your name here)?

YOU: You dare to disturb me in my shed? (inhale dramatically)

CAMPAIGN: (no matter what they say … wait for them to come to a pause)

YOU: I think we’ve all seen the same map. (inhale dramatically)

CAMPAIGN: (quickly interrupt them)

YOU: EXCUSE ME! Subaru is NOT love, no matter how many times you run that ad. (inhale dramatically)

CAMPAIGN: (no matter what they say … wait for them to come to a pause)

YOU: Your advertising circulars in their sheer plastic bags clutter my front porch! ENOUGH! (inhale dramatically)

CAMPAIGN: (no matter what they say … wait for them to come to a pause)

YOU: Do you know where YOU will be when the Seventh Seal is broken only 2* days from now? (inhale dramatically)

CAMPAIGN: (no matter what they say … wait for them to come to a pause)

YOU: Very well. (inhale dramatically) Please use your touchpad to enter your Social Security number, and wait for the next voter.

(Place phone on the table and walk away … and come back at your convenience to hang up or turn it off)

_______________

* or however many actual days until Election Day … do the math

** Lippative Backtalk Scripts by Conrad™

Exclusive Customer Time Wasting Talkback Scripts For Academy Members Only™

CONNERY CUSTOMER SCRIPT

(Print this and keep it by your phone. Best delivered in Sean Connery voice, but it’s your call so whatever. When you are called, go through the phone tree until you get a live person. When they come on the line, begin the script as below …)

If you would like to talk to the customer, please press One.

(Repeat the above as often as necessary until you hear a beep indicating that the Call Center employee has pressed One … otherwise, just keep saying it until they hang up)

This call may be recorded for Customer Training purposes. Please hold for the customer.

(take as long as you like … get creative! … you can even hang up)

Hello, you have reached a customer. Where do the bluebells smell sweetest and ring fairest?

(no matter what they say)

Is the pine tree behind the moon or is the moon behind the pine tree?

(no matter what they say)

Can I put you down as strongly puritanical or weak with desire?

(no matter what they say)

Would you rather have a tote bag or a free Adele CD or a hi-def DVD of Hot Air Ballooning Over Austria?

(no matter what they say)

I see here that your class reunion has been cancelled.

(no matter what they say)

If you keep it up, your face is going to stay that way. That’s a scientific fact.

(no matter what they say)

Thank you for your service to your company, and gold bless omertà.

(no matter what they say)

I only have so much time before the event. Make sure your backpack is full. Fare thee well!

(hang up)

* Lippative Backtalk Scripts by Conrad™

The 14th Annual Tyson Phone Acting Boot Camp takes place at Hillside Elementary's cafeteria in Berwyn, Pa. FREE EAR MASSAGE FOR THE FIRST 12 CAMPERS WHO SIGN UP VIA THE WEBSITE.

Kevin McCormick - Associate Floor Supervisor

#Mike Tyson #academy classes #boot camp

These guys have been calling and hanging up for weeks. It really was a pleasure to finally get a chance to chat.

#academy of phone acting telemarketers monkey

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