A Cat Named Schrödinger

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

[status-quo-hater]

I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.

He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense

[status-quo-hater]

Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.

My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.

Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.

He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM

[mayflowersinapril]

If looks could kill... (+bonus)

[sloanegabe]

SHANE & ILYA + parallels

[bellilou42]

There is no moral.

The wolf eats you one day,

And until it does,

The forest is beautiful

[Neverafter - Brennan Lee Mulligan]

[mybeautifuldarktwistedshane]

We (rightfully) make fun of shane for putting on a suit before their first hookup but we should also be making fun of ilya for wearing a fashionable denim jacket. They were staying in the same hotel. he put that jacket on just to down the hall and up the elevator. he only wore it because he thought shane would think it looked cool (he did) and that shane would love a sexy little striptease (he did). Embarrassing!

[tinytimism]

i love im on fire because he wrote that song with a gun pressed to his head in one hand his dick in the other and was moving the pen with telekinesis

[notahungrywish]

If Shane and Ilya have to be on the same team it should have been Boston.

Ilya would sit his team down and be like: Boys. You know how the second greatest hockey player in the league fucks up our chances at the cup pretty regularly? Well what if I told you I’ve decided to take one for the team and solve this problem for us once and for all. That’s right, I’ve leveraged my incredible body and sex appeal to seduce Shane Hollander to Boston at an extreme pay cut, thus basically securing us every cup until the end of time. Now everyone be nice to this hot piece of ass I have secured for hockey reasons because I’m such a baller.

I think they would crown him a champion. I think they would be like “the gay thing is weird but we can’t argue with results and anyway Ilya’s fucked all the pussy from Boston to Montreal it makes sense he’s branched out. Boston would be like “we literally don’t care if they’re fucking on center ice if they’re winning cups they’re winning fucking cups”. Shane would do a joint dunks commercial with him and eventually become the people’s sweetheart. Maura Healey would personally petition for Ily to get citizenship.

Ilya is their god king and Shane is therefore untouchable. The people of Boston and the team itself would be shitting themselves with sheer joy at the chance to beat the shit out of Montreal in every way that matters. It’s a literal bloodbath every time. People are crying in the streets watching their boys give a beatdown to every Metro who gets near Shane on the ice. Everyone’s uncle from south Boston gets a little worked up around their Newport like “he may be a homo but he’s our homo. And he plays some damn fine hockey.” They name one of the harbor seals after him.

[thatonekimgirl]

Shane and Ilya slowly inching closer and closer throughout S1. (insp)

[mayflowersinapril]

If looks could kill... (+bonus)

[academicblorbo]

Yuna and David asking about the timeline of their relationship would have been even funnier if, after discussing how long they've been "lovers":

Yuna: ok, so you've been "seeing" each other for 9 years... And when did you confess your real feelings and decided to be together?

Shane:

Ilya:

Yuna:

David:

Shane:

Ilya: like, today at 4am

[eugeniedanglars]

i like this show in a cool ironic detached intellectual way btw

[covenlesswitches]

“he should be at the club” well he’s at the club and he wants to fucking kill himself

[mumble-muse]

the problem with the gay hockey show is that the acting is great, the lighting is great, the music and costuming are great, the care taken is incredible, but you can't recommend it to normal people without sounding like a pervert

[mapsontheweb]

Frodo and Sam’s journey if it took place in the United States

[a-book-of-creatures]

Average trip to Florida

[whetstonefires]

we must take the ring to jacksonville

[lemonsharks]

[wazzappp]

Floridor

[your-url-is-problematic]

“THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO JACKSONVILLE!”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY”

[tsarina-anadyomene]

I kind of do think "this is not who we are, we need to live up to our democratic heritage" is a winning message in a way "america is basically and fundamentally evil. fuck you all" isn't

[starlightomatic]

[aro-as-in-straight-as-a]

#I mean on the one hand it does kind of just let people off scot-free if you're just like#'yeah you're irredeemably evil and there's nothing that can change that'#it absolves one of trying to make things any better#and I think that's true whether you mean individual people or like. A country (via jabberwockypie)

[jupiter-suggestion]

i want to be inconvenienced by you. i want to wait for you, i want to hold your things while you do something else, i want to make adjustments to my plans to make space for you. someone at your side who takes up no space and has no needs of their own is not a person, but a shadow. i don't want a shadow, i want you. i want my life to be altered by your presence in it. please, inconvenience me.

[pikogofret]

if toxic, why sound endearing?

[flagellant]

do you seriously consider someone saying "my love for you is unconditional and based in the trust that we are permitted to need and want the other in small everyday ways; never feel ashamed to ask me for help or for being a part of my life"

as being toxic?

[the-seelie-court-official]

Having needs and expressing them is good actually, and it's tragic that people are so willing to swallow themselves so as to not be a "burden" on each other. My girlfriend and I lend each other our metaphorical spoons all the time. That's not toxic, that an honest relationship, where we ask for help when we want it- not just need it. When we want it.

May the people who think taking up space is toxic or co-dependent find healing. Because y'all... it ain't good to think that way. You have needs. I hope you feel safe enough to stop hiding them one day